Chapter 41

Warmth engulfed his hand when Alec held it, and Eli let him hold it.

The temperature dropped almost suddenly, and while he wasn't too thrilled about having his hand held by someone he was conflicted about, Eli let himself enjoy the warmth of that hold knowing it was not something he could easily escape.

"I can't believe it's winter already." Eli remarked with a displeased pout letting his displeasure mask his discomfort he felt. Somehow, it felt wrong to be intimate like this when he knew he was unsure about his feelings, it was as if he was lying to Alec but it was his stupid mate bond that made him dive into a relationship without knowing anything first.

All he knew was that Alec is his mate, and while it was normal for mates to start a relationship, Eli felt like he shouldn't have done so thoughtlessly. It was going too fast for him.

"That's why we're starting a bonfire." Alec told him as he grinned down at him, and Eli's heart hurt a bit from the tug he felt. "Jax and I used to do it every year, and then we started to invite Rowan and Ari before others started to join and it grew into a semi-official thing here."

To that, Eli couldn't help but smile. "You started this tradition?"

"Well, yeah, by accident. Blame it all on Jax, he's the one who started it."

"Then tell Jax I think he is a genius because I am freezing." He shuddered to emphasize his point, but in a heart-melting gesture, Alec pulled Eli's hand that he was holding inside his pocket. Something about it made him feel another tug in his heart, and this time it wasn't an unpleasant one. He couldn't help the words that came out of his mouth next. "That's so sweet of you."

Alec smiled down softly at him and gave him a look that told him he shouldn't be too surprised about something like this. It made Eli remember that when Alec wasn't under the effects of uncontrollable lust, he is actually a really great boyfriend.

Small steps, Eli thought.

Small steps are needed and he might actually find himself falling for Alec.

And suddenly, he found a genuine smile appear on his face as he looked down shyly at his feet. The idle sounds of chatter were getting louder as they walked, and Eli could already feel and smell the large bonfire which was in an area not too far from town.

"This looks like a typical place rebellious teenagers would start parties at." Eli couldn't help but say that as he looked around at people drinking, laughing, and fueling the fire.

Alec gave him an amused look before he looked forward as if he was reminiscing. "That wouldn't be too far off the mark."

Eli let out a little chuckle, and as he was ready to follow Alec to wherever he was leading him to, he found his hand being taken out of Alec's pocket and let go of.

"I know I haven't been the most understanding about it," He told Eli with a reddening guilty face and Eli was looking up at him feeling perplexed. "But Ari's here, too."

A moment of silence fell between them as Eli stared up at Alec in bewilderment. "You mean..."

"Yes." Alec sighed nodding his head, almost looking remorseful. "He's your friend, and nothing will happen with all of us and the rest of the pack around, so go have fun. Talk to him."

"Alec, that's..." Eli didn't have any words to say, so he just smiled up at him brightly and pulled him down for a kiss that showed just how thankful he was to Alec for trying. Small steps, but those steps are slowly becoming easier to take. "I will see you later, okay?"

"Okay, yeah. I'll be with Jax."

And just like that, Eli tentatively left his side and started searching for Ari amidst the crowd. There was a decent amount of people, but not too many that he'd not be able to find Ari, but somehow, he couldn't spot him yet. The bonfire burning bright didn't help, and it took him a while before he spotted the familiar petite figure of Cassie with her back to him leaning on a tree.

Wasting no time, he quickly approached her only to realized she was talking to someone hidden from his field of view.

And that someone was Ari who always took his breath away whenever Eli laid eyes on him. He was laughing with Cassie about something, and Eli's heart skipped a beat but he ignored it.

"Hey." He said bringing attention to himself and they both turned to him.

Ari, breathtakingly beautiful Ari, gave him an unfair smile and a curt wave. Cassie, however, was more verbal and excited as she pulled him closer so they could make their own little private circle.

"Eli, great timing! I was just about to tell Ari the sad news." Cassie told them making them both look at her with puzzled looks. "I am going home soon."

It was Ari who was mostly sad about it. "Oh."

"Don't give me that look, not you." She grinned at him lightly touching his chin with her finger to prompt him to lift it up. "I'll be in touch, and nothing is stopping me from visiting again."

"I will miss you. You've done so much for us." Eli told her with his shoulders sagging sadly, he really didn't want to part with her, but he also couldn't expect her to stay in their town forever. Her home was somewhere else, and she belonged to another pack.

There's nothing any of them could do about it.

Cassie seemed to understand how he felt, and she was quick to give him a hug that he eagerly returned. She really made everything better when she came here.

She then looked back at Ari, the boy she came here for, and while his nose was red from the cold already, she suspected that now it was redder than before. He didn't say anything, but Cassie smiled as if she knew everything he wanted to say. His expression alone was enough for her.

It was a gratitude he couldn't verbalize.

To Ari, she was one of the few people who knew about him, and being with her was a type of freedom he wanted to experience more.

So when he bit his lip to hide a bittersweet smile and wrapped his arms around her, Cassie returned the gesture with warmth that was absent moments ago when she hugged Eli. "I hope things work out for you." She meant every word, and that only made him tighten his embrace unable to hide the sadness in his smile anymore.

"They should once Eli stops getting surprise heats."

"Hey!"

Cassie laughed at that slapping his back lightly before pulling away to shake her head at him. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek surprising Eli before she waved at them. "Got to make sure Liam doesn't drink too much, I'll leave you two to catch up."

They both stood there quietly watching her retreating form before Eli looked down nervously as he kicked a patch of grass to distract himself from the awkward feeling sneaking up on him. He felt like he was back in high school crushing on someone all over again.

"So, uh, anything new?"

He wanted to bury himself from embarrassment.

Unbothered, and probably unaware of his awkwardness, Ari shrugged his shoulders before he let himself lean back on the tree watching the people in the distance. "I want to leave, too."

Eli furrowed his eyebrows. "Leave? Where?"

"I don't know, anywhere else. Maybe with humans and less wolves. I just want to be away from here, honestly."

"Do you not like it here?" There was surprise in his voice. "You're not leaving the pack, are you?"

"I don't want to stay here forever." Ari told him honestly as he watched the pack that he grew up with. A pack he was fond of, but never really loved. A place that was good to him, but felt so smothering that he couldn't wait but to escape. "I am seeing someone, and I think I want to go wherever they go."

Those words were not what Eli expected, and he could feel his heart breaking but his whole body sagged in relief. There might be a contradiction in his reaction and sentiments, but while he was sad that Ari was not his and will never be, he was also relieved to have this certainty.

He will not be thinking of the what ifs and the possibilities with Ari, instead he will be thinking of working things out with Alec.

It won't be an easy thing to do, but Ari being away might help his feelings to fizzle away with time.

"You sound like you're still figuring things out." Eli told him smiling sadly as his eyes fell on Ari's hand. Being a little bit selfish, he gave in to one last desire and took it in his. "I am figuring things out, too. With myself and Alec."

As lovely as the feeling of Ari's hand in his squeezing him tenderly, Eli couldn't help the feeling of his heart shattering at the reminder that this moment they shared will never be anything more than just a friendly one.

"I think I do have it figured out." Ari told him speaking distantly as if he was deep in thought, considering something.

And Eli looked at him with so much sincerity when he spoke.

"Either way, I hope you end up happy. I really love you, Ari."

"I love you, too."

It was said with the same sincerity, but held a different meaning.

And that was okay. It was enough.