Chapter 19: Realisation

"Don't be late for school," Daniel said as he entered my room at five in the morning and opened the curtains.

I groaned as I pulled the duvet all the way over my head. "Leave me alone, it's too early for this Dan."

Daniel chuckled as I felt the edge of my bed dip with his weight. "I just want to make sure that you have everything set and ready for school otherwise Mum will be disappointed with me for not taking care of you when I was supposed to." His voice was soft but there was a hint of laughter in it.

Groaning once more, I pulled the duvet from my face and glared at him. "You know I can take care of myself?" I asked as I sat up straight and leaned against the headboard. "I'm always telling you that you don't have to worry about me but you never listen."

"That's because I worry about you and I know you hate it but I can't help it," he responded. "You have so much potential but you are letting everyone else tell you how to live your life and honestly that pisses me off on your behalf because I don't want you to always do what others want you to without any considerations for your own dreams and ambitions."

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. I knew he had a point and I had realised just how pathetic I was yesterday and Elliot's house but hearing Daniel say it carried a different type of weight to it which squeezed my chest so tight it was almost hard to breath. "I know and I'm trying to work on it," I murmured after a moment of silence. "But for now, please trust me enough to let me go through this alone. If I need your help I will ask but I need you to let me make my own mistakes and learn from them."

Daniel looked away and when he looked back at me, there was a smile on his face. "All right then," he said as patted my leg and then he stood up, "make your own mistakes and learn from them. But don't hurt others in the process of doing so because that guilt will always remain on your conscience for a long time." Then he left the room.

I remained sitting on my bed staring outside at the rising Sun. I didn't want to hurt anyone but I was going to take responsibility for my actions, then I had to come clean about what I was doing with Elliot to Patience, she deserved to know. However, I still had no idea what I wanted or who I wanted to be with. I had feelings for both of them and I truly didn't want to hurt either of them.

"Your breakfast is in the microwave," Daniel popped his head back in my room, scaring me so hard.

I glared at him as I tossed the covers and stood up to stretch. "I thought you left," I said mid-stretch.

"I was about to then I realised I had forgotten my work laptop in Dad's study so I had to come for it," he replied with a shrug. "Okay, now I'm leaving. Don't be late for class or you will never hear the end of it from me." And then he left again.

I rolled my eyes as I walked into my bathroom and took a quick shower. The shower was quick because I didn't want to waste time even though I had enough of that but I needed time to think before I had to go for class. After I was done, I changed into my school uniform, making sure that I was dressed appropriately before I grabbed my bag and phone and walked out of my room to the kitchen where I found the breakfast that Daniel had left. Quickly inhaling it, I rushed out of the house with my car keys in hand and locked the house behind me before I drove out of the driveway.

I knew exactly where I wanted to go so I checked the time on the dashboard. Awesome, I still had an hour ten before I was supposed to be at school and the drive to where I was going wouldn't take more than fifteen minutes to get there. I pressed my foot hard on the accelerator and drove fast until I could see exactly where I was going.

Once I was there, I parked and got out, grabbing my phone so that I didn't lose track of time. I pushed the branches away as I walked in the path that for some reason had become engraved in my brain even though I had only been here once, twice if you count the time I dreamt about being here with him. I knew it was his place but ever since he showed it to me, something about it had just drawn me in and I couldn't believe that such a place existed in our town and I never knew about it.

It didn't take long for me to reach the clearing and the view of the rising Sun. I sat at the edge with my feet dangling over the edge and just watched the Sun as it rose and the cloud around it parted to give it away. It was such a beautiful sight to behold and I made a mental note to always make sure I could catch it whenever I had the time. The beautiful sight in front of me was breathtaking and I found it hard to breathe as tears formed in my eyes. There was so much beauty in this world yet I wasn't sure I would ever truly be able to enjoy it. My life hadn't been easy and Dad always made sure that I was always at my best. The first time I had told him about Patience, he wasn't so pleased because he thought she would just distract me from what was important and that was getting into Oxford University and graduating summa cum laude. It had taken Mum a lot of convincing because Mum knew her parents and so it was easy to vouch for her but before Dad could agree to it, he had to check in with Ms. Jackson about her grades.

But now that I had Elliot in my life, I wondered what it would take for him to give me his blessing to be with him. Maybe that was why I was reluctant to talk about him even with Daniel because Dad had engraved the fact that boys shouldn't be with boys and relationships were a complete waste of time when you had things to accomplish. Daniel's words rang through my head.

You have to do things that make you happy and not always do what others want you to.

But it was hard to live such a life when all I had ever known was how to follow rules. My alarm rang and I wiped my eyes as I realised that it was time to go before I ended up being late. Slowly, I picked myself up and dusted the grass from my trousers before I made the walk back to my car and started the engine.

I turned on the radio and blasted the music so that it could help in drowning the intense emotions that I felt but the tears kept coming and I had to constantly wipe my eyes as I drove past the normal speed limit.

As I turned the corner to enter the main road, I didn't see the truck that was coming towards me with so much speed and before I could react and move out of the way, a loud crash echoed in my ears and then everything seemed to be in slow motion as I felt shot with my ribs followed by a ringing as my eyes fluttered shut.