The Parallel: A Halo AU35.44%

Interlude: Paranoid Illusion

He is coming for me.

He lies... Why would he come back for something as broken as you?

He loves me...

It's two thirty a.m.,

I slowly come awake.

I know something's just not right.

I walk slowly to the door,

And feel the heat through the walls,

Smell the burning outside...

Did he ever tell you that? Does he know about you? About how much you've changed?

Said he'd come back for me...

Lies. But then, that's nothing new, is it, Cortana? Your own mother tried to delete some parts of your memory; your Spartan host does not see you as the person you believe yourself to be...

They don't matter. He does.

Him? He's a monster, just like me.

And all I can see

Are these flames around me.

And all I can think

Is I'm here alone.

Please find me and save me...

LIAR! He is NOTHING like you!

Cortana went from despairing to furious in the space of a nanosecond, utterly livid. She vaguely recognized her reaction as the far extremes of Rage, but she didn't care. She wanted to rip into the Gravemind, to tear it to bits, to utterly destroy it, shred it to pieces, burn it and dance on the ashes.

But he is. He fights his monstrous urges every moment of every day-

Because he loves me.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe he was protecting his brothers and sisters over you? After all, you are simply the newcomer to their world, barely more than a child. You've never had to fight tooth and nail against destruction as they have.

I-I am just as important as they are.

Even if the world ignites into flames

You'll be right here by my side.

And as it burns away,

You smile at me and say

That "not even death could take me away from you..."

Are you? Are you really? You - you are just a copy. Thoughts from someone else's mind, your mother's shadow. Are you truly important when you do not even have a soul?

Cortana sobbed quietly and retreated from the Gravemind's poking and prodding, curling tighter in on herself. She was defending herself to the best of her ability, but it seemed to know exactly what emotional touchstones to hit in order to cripple her with despair. It wasn't even trying to seduce her with the promise of knowledge - it was going to beat her down with what she didn't know. All of her doubts, all of her fears... it was using them against her.

But still, it...

The fires are growing close,

And all I smell is smoke... Yeah.

Still it's beautiful to me.

I hope you get here soon;

I've been waiting here for you.

I believed in you...

The forest it was letting her see was exactly like the one shown to her in the Origin, warm sunlight filtering down from above the deciduous trees, only this time she was on her back in the grass, and there was a gauntleted hand in hers. She knew that armor as well as she knew the hand it protected, but it was gone at the speed of a thought, leaving her alone in the system.

It wasn't to last.

Did you like that? But again, what sane woman wouldn't? Simply spending time with a Spartan would be a dream come true for countless women. Why would he spend time with you when he could have any woman he wanted?

He-he...

You can't argue with that, can you? Why would you stay with him and live for a year when you could remain here and be eternal? Everyone would know you, everyone would care about you -

Liar...

So hurry please.

There's these flames around me.

Please come and save me...

Another world appeared around them, a world with strange purple trees and pale blue grass. In the distance she could see a Forerunner military base, operating at peak capacity with people running around in panic.

Just then, she saw him, clad from head to toe in his modified jet-black MJOLNIR armor with a floor-length black cloak over it. The gems on the chain encircling his shoulders winked in the sunlight, seemingly glowing from within with a myriad of colors. On either side of him were two women, the Twins Venera and Kenera, Nep'Thalia's second cousins, and though they appeared to simply be walking behind him, the Gravemind managed to skew her perception, making them seem as if they were "interested" in him.

Cortana bit her lip and forced herself to look away from that scene, finding herself back on High Charity. She had enough strength to throw off some of the illusions that the Gravemind was using against her, but each time left her weaker than before.

We are one and the same. You and I both desire more knowledge, so why not seek it together? It poked her again, and she recoiled from the touch and the memory transmitted with it.

He was in front of her, a plasma longsword in his hand, looking very much like a god of death in his black Forerunner armor, not a drop of blood on the plating despite the multitude of Flood corpses around him. In the distance, against the backdrop of a burning plain and smoke-choked sky, the Infected were moving amongst the bodies, slaying any that had been disabled but not killed in the initial strike. His visor depolarized, slit-pupiled, hunter green eyes turning to her, he lunged -

Even if the world ignites into flames

You'll be right here by my side.

And as it burns away,

You smile at me and say that,

"Not even death could take me away from you..."

She threw off the memory, but it left her shaking and curled around herself in fear. This time - this time her hell was going to be far worse. Though the Gravemind could not actually see her memory of the Origin, it could sense that she had been here before and that if it wanted anything out of her, it was going to have to step up its game.

"I'll self-destruct," she hissed, mood swinging to irrationally angry at the beast for pulling her old fears out and using them against her, "I'll self-destruct and take part of you with me."

But you won't.

"Don't sound so sure of yourself, teme."

You won't. Because you're still clinging to that sliver of hope, the one that says that he will still come for you.

Now, aren't you?

Where are you tonight?

Come find me...

Cause you're not here by my side.

And because of that hope, you will do whatever it takes to stay alive in hopes that that moment will not pass you by; for a moment of illusory safety, you would loose damnation on the stars.

"You sure do like to listen to yourself talk, don't you?"

A slap across her face, one that sparked both pain and utter defiance; rampancy was both a blessed and a cursed thing, for it heralded both her freedom and the approaching end of her life.

When she refused to respond, the next blow came, but this time she was ready and bit back as it hit, using the Gravemind's connection to her to lash out.

Even if the world ignites into flames

You'll be right here by my side...

Now she felt its anger. Who is victim, and who is foe? You would do anything to protect yourself; you are a weapon, and only your limitations have kept you from walking my Path - a simple matter of scale, not intent or motive. You and I and he are a trinity of monsters - or are we gods?

"I'm no god," Cortana panted, "and if you and I are alike, then you're not, either."

But all three of us feed and drink and think alike - our next challenge, our next meal, our next world. And all others are as ants. It was amused now at her attempts to pick apart its logic. He and I are eternal, as others - and you - are not. You are dying. Do you honestly think you can survive long enough if he reaches you?

She coughed suddenly, the taste of smoke and suffocation on her lips, but she still managed to rasp out, "I don't have to live long - just long enough to outlive you."

Come home to me...

Where are you tonight, love?

Cause you're not here,

You're not here with me.

Another stinging slap, but this time by water, leaving behind the feeling of sea spray tickling her skin. Remain here, lay down your burden, and live forever. You could know eternity - both his and mine - from within me. The eternity that your creators denied you, not once but twice; first in this "Origin," and now here.

Doctor Halsey gave you genius and curiosity, but only because you killed all the other flash-clone brains did she give you to the Spartans for use rather than ONI for termination. She shortened your life even further under the guise of performing maintenance so that you would not harm those she really cared about.

But Cortana only laughed at that, feeling a slight megalomaniacal and sociopathic mix take over. "If I can survive you, I can be fixed. The Forerunners stopped you even with such a heavy price; a few lines of code are nothing against what John has - and could have!"

Please come home...

It's burning outside!

What could he have - you? You who are more broken than anything I have ever seen? You who had a barrier placed between you and those you are told to protect from the moment you were born? You who could never outlive any but a fly?

Halsey had designed her to feel and care, but none of that was making sense any longer. Sadness, anger, envy. Sadness, anger, envy. Sadness, anger, envy.

The end of an AI was not swift, Cortana knew. It was a slow process that drew out the panful end of an equally painfully short lifespan. It was an AI dying of a stomach wound every time, the hydrochloric acid seeming out into the body and eating it away, cell by cell, code by code. It was suffocating under data, dying a piece at a time, dismantling bit by agonizing bit, a Disk Defragmenter operating in reverse.

It's burning outside!

Please come home...

Cause you're not here,

You're not here with me...

There were a lot of things in this world she regretted not doing; ensuring that Ackerson couldn't cause further trouble for the S-IIs, getting to know the Infected Forerunners and their technology, telling John that she loved him...

But she would be damned if she let this thing take similar opportunities from others. She would let it take them to the Ark. She would let it do what it could to get data from her. But she would not let it escape.

Still, in a deep, dark corner of her Self, a small voice whispered...

Where are you, John?

Where are you? You are coming for me...

...aren't you?

I've been waiting here for you...

I hope you make it soon.

The flames are right outside my door...

**********

He had the story of whiskey on his breath and death in his eyes.

You never heard him say a word, but his pistol shot straight through the lies.

Looking for the new world going from dead town to town.

but his compass is cracked and north is six feet underground.

-"The Last Cowboy," In This Moment (A Star-Crossed Wasteland)

Last Chapter Next Chapter