That first cold day at the peer.

She was a fighter and she knew no one was on her side but her own helplessness was her enemy. Even if she wanted another life this plan her father had for her was already set in motion. There was to be no introduction to the society life she was almost sure would be her life. There was no one to take her to the coming out parties as her mother had died when she was a little girl, there was no one else to take her only her father who was always busy but he had mistresses that he saw in private and with great descression . He never remarried but dedicated his time to a career that grew from a lawyer to a political one. Her father chose all his secret life partners to be ones who never questioned the way he conducted his affairs as long as they received fair compensation for there love. Not having a mother or motherly figure in her life has changed the way everything was done in her childhood being taught by governesses and being left alone especially when her father had no time for her. She was definitely not going to receive a normal upbringing with prospects to a normal coming out sessions all the young ladies of her time experienced, no it looked to her that she was to be left out of all the possible good things of the young life that other upperclass ladies were all accostomed to. Her father was a very ambitious man who saw his life as being on the incline upwards to the house of Lords.

Her father came from a mother who was a commoner and his father was Lord Harold Barnsworth so it was fortunate for him his father discovered he had a son and married his mother just before she died of compression illness a condition of the chest. He was Lord Erald Barnsworth and she was Esmeralda Barnsworth or Esme as everone called her. How could she fight the pain in her heart at not having been with her mother as a child and then the way things were afterwards a nightmare of never being accepted by your peers because of a questionable background. Especially being so delicate and being known to being one of the great beauties of the British Societies best loved socialites it was definitely with sadness she was going to be missed as many a young man had already expressed an interest in getting to know her. There was quite a lot of talk about her because in this day and age nosey gossips were always trying to find out everyone's bussiness especially hers as her father was becoming a very famous person. All this is never seeming to come to an end the endless questions of where her future husband was to come from or was she going to be going to a nunnery, hopefully not. Why has her father arranging a crazy wedding for her, she cannot figure out why her father did this. Its 1797 and she has no idea why her father has made her the dealbreaker as its her life that is in question. Its so unfair to her as young ladies in England went to balls and parties to find marriage connections. All her friends were having invites to coming out parties especially in Bath a town known for its wonderful coming out balls where the ladies wore the most exquisite ball gowns and where every young lady enjoyed the most wonderful time collecting dances on her dance card. The young men chose to ask for the privilege of dances that was mostly waltses or orchestral music. This was the life for most young ladies of prominent houses yet now that will be her last ball she could go to but now all was lost. Her father was given a commition in the volatile colony of Cape of Goodhope. This was a previous Dutch Colony and it was a troublesome small outpost with as far as she was concerned no prostpects at all for a coming out parties for her to go to yet her father had sent a letter summoning her to this colony as the trip takes 6 months onboard the ship. She was to travel quite a long journey in the company of a bodyguard who never spoke to her making more tedious days even worse as this was a terrible time waiting for her. The ship was a big rickety rumbling two decker that creaked and squeaked the whole time. Mornings had a routine that ended at night with her back in her cabin safe and sound as her father was very intent on nothing bad happening to her he had a bodyguard set up for her. She was not a good morning person and worse was the traveling made her very sick most of the time.

Esme Barnsworth was a polite young lady but the very rude gentleman from the upperdeck was always doing something wrong it seemed to her he was quite troublesome especially when he 'accidentally ' bumped her sun umbrella out of her hands and into the see. She was so angry that for a short period she definitely wanted to punch him somewhere on his face as he was always giving her that irritating grin that just drove her nuts. It was not polite for a young man to approach a young lady unaccompanied and then expecting her to speak to him especially when they were never informally introduced by social means. There was etiquette to be followed or the reputation of a young lady could come into question. Esme had already known she disliked him even when he told her with pride that he was a noble Lord of European background all she saw was an idiot. She definitely did not want a conversation with male company as her reputation was all she had and people were ruined so easily by being too trusting something she defenitly was not.