Chapter Forty-eight

Days later and no one had seen him and in that time, he'd called for no one, not even once stepping out onto the balcony to watch them train, but then she stood outside his door, staring up at that white light with her stomach burning a sweet kind of burn. He waited for her right on that step, his face buried deep in a golden cup, a few gulps later and he gasped, throwing it behind him into the room with a wide grin on his face as he watched her kick off her boots.

Phoenix could feel that heat, that brilliant warmth coming off of him, wanting to reach for it, wanting to bury herself in his chest, but those dark eyes were watching her, somehow so bright, somehow so soft and warm all at once. Slowly, so slowly, he leaned forward, his nose inches from hers, his arms holding her to him, and then he sighed, a sigh that was deep and loud, a sigh that sent a burst of warm air all the way down her back.

"I wanted to call for you sooner," he said, his voice soft and airy, and then he laughed. "But your plant has been keeping me busy."

She could feel that hum of his body, a hum that made her mouth go dry and that burning in her stomach grow. "That's good, isn't it?" she asked, and he laughed again, kissing her neck and holding her tighter.

"Yes, Phe," he said. "That's really good."

That night she brushed her fingers across her robe, liking the feel of it against her skin, so soft, so smooth. If her days were spent on this sofa instead of on that gritty sand below, she would live in it, have her bed sheets and her furniture made out of it so she could always feel it against her skin, but she'd have to make do with nights like these when he'd called for her. She trailed her fingers across his face, running along his nose and his cheeks and tracing his Implants, and he sighed, a soft smile curling at the corners of his lips, his eyes closing. He looked so tired, more tired than she'd seen him before, but his face was so soft, that smile always on his lips, those Implants flickering like starlight.

"What did you find?" she asked, and his eyes flicked open, so bright and full of life.

"I can't tell you," he said, and she watched him closely, her eyes narrowing, her hand stilling, but then he laughed, moving his head around on her lap and making himself comfortable. "I can't tell you," he said again. "I didn't find anything on Iris, but let's just say that you and Leo just made me a lot of money."

She went so stiff then, her heart a little heavy, something cold in her stomach. "Money…?" she asked, but he didn't answer, that smile gone, those dark eyes growing cold, but she couldn't shake it, not after what she'd risked, not after what Lyca had risked and all the faces and names she knew that had been sold just for money.

"Stop it," he said.

"Lyca could have-,"

"I said, stop it," he cut in.

"I could've been caught! You could've-," she shook her head. "We could've lost everything."

He sat up, turning to her, his Implants flickering furiously. "I trusted you not to make a mistake," he said. "And you didn't. What's the problem?"

She shook her head, her mouth so dry, her heart racing. "What if-?"

"Enough," he said, standing and walking over to a pitcher. "If I'd wanted a lecture, I would've just called for Belfire."

She almost gasped then, something pricking at her heart, something both hot and cold and poking at her stomach as she stared at him, wanting him to take it back, wanting him never to speak of Belfire again and to never have to share either of them.

"So call for him," she said. "You could just beat him like you did last time."

"Say one more thing and our deal is off, Phoenix," he warned, and she gritted her teeth, her hands clenching into fists, her heart aching.

"That's all you know how to do, right?" she asked, her voice soft and low. "What are you going to say next, hmm? Are you just going to tell me there are rules and I have to do whatever you say…? Iris is seventeen, she's still just a kid and you're going to let her suffer just to keep me in line. I thought-," she shook her head. "I thought you cared, I thought-,"

"You're all here to do a job," he cut in. "Just like me, just like everyone else. Don't make me have to remind you again."

She gasped then, closing her eyes, her face scrunching up into a deep, tight wince. It was her fault, all of this was her fault, she never should've lost sight of what she was here to do. She deserved this pain, she deserved to have her heart aching and to stand there breathless and empty.

She shook her head, opening her eyes just in time to see him reaching for her, his forehead lining in a crease, his eyes somehow so dull, somehow so bright, but she pulled away, shaking her head again, her hand clutching at her heart. He was still coming for her, that crease growing deeper, his mouth opening ready to speak, but she slapped his hand away, and then he went so stiff, his eyes going wide, those Implants flickering furiously. So quickly he turned into that man who'd saved Belfire from that knife, his eyes blazing and burning, his face scrunched up in a fierce scowl and it took her a moment to remember why, her eyes going wide, her mouth going dry.

Would he kill her for hitting him? Those were the rules, that's what he'd said, so would he stick to them now? She stood there waiting, feeling that burning growing in the pit of her stomach and not knowing if she could let it go, and it grew when he grabbed her wrists, already feeling them begin to bruise as he pulled her towards him, glaring at her, those eyes so cold and dark, his face so stiff and tight.

"Get out," he said.