Terrify :(

I was happy and also terrify in the same time because i was had something which i didn't tell him yet about it and i am feel like i was really bad person in the world and i don't know i just not ready to tell him about it yet but if the times come that i need to tell him about it i wish i was ready for it but i just don't want to lose him, i know it's sounds selfish but i can't do anything about it i was love him so much and too deep but in the same time i also don't want to hurts him.

Oh, bugger god please help me tell me what i need to do and please help me to figure out how to handle this because i was so curious and confusion with all these things which happens to me in my life it's like happens to fast and now i am confusion how to handle it :(