Chapter 16

**Trigger Warning: Sexual Trauma**

Nik continues playing with Jane, teasing her breast with one hand, the other arm wrapped firmly around her waist to keep her in place. As soon as Jane stops squirming, Nik removes his arm from her waist and brushes his thumb against her cheek. "So did I?" Jane relaxes her legs and the rest of her body. It feels good and it's just the two of them so it's fine, right?

"No. It was more like this," Jane moves Nik's hand from her breast down her stomach, placing it on her shorts, just outside where she wants to be touched. Nik unzips and unbuttons her shorts, slipping his hand inside them. He can feel the heat and the moisture radiating off of her. Jane grabs a hold of the hand that Nik has on her face and takes his thumb into her mouth, sucking and licking it, trying to make him feel as embarrassed as her. Nik groans into Jane's ear.

"Oh, I see. So like this?" Nik rubs and pinches Jane's swollen clit. He teases her until she gives up the game she is trying to play with him. Jane refuses to stop. She pulls his hand out of her panties and hops off of his lap. She kneels on the ground in front of him, in between his legs. Nik can see the wet spot on his sweatpants from Jane.

"Look what you did. I'm going to have to take these off to let them dry now. What a mess." Nik pulls his sweatpants and boxers off, tossing them onto his seat for later. Nik sits back in Jane's seat; Jane sits still between his legs. "Is this what you wanted? You wanted my hard cock in that cute little mouth of yours? What a naughty girl."

Jane blushes, taking the tip of his member in her hot wet mouth. She suckles on it, teasing it with her tongue. Nik grabs her head, running his fingers through her hair until his hands are planted firmly enough to give him some control. He pushes lightly, not wanting to hurt her or force her into anything she doesn't want. Jane doesn't prevent him from doing so. She takes the entirety of his massive tool into her mouth now, sliding it in and out of her mouth as Nik helps her. Nik moans loudly now. Jane can feel him stiffen in her mouth. She speeds up, sucking a bit harder, swirling her tongue as she moves, wanting to please him further. She likes having his hands in her hair, she likes when he uses her like this. She likes being able to hear every sound that he makes as she does this to him.

She can feel it twitch; she pulls it out of her mouth just before he can finish. "Fuck Jane, why'd you stop? You were doing so good."Jane stands up and removes her bottoms, positioning herself on top of him, this time facing him instead of facing away from him. She lifts his cock, placing the tip at her entrance. She slides down on it slowly, trying to get used to the girth and length of the massive thing. Her breath hitches in her throat as it hits her g-spot. She starts moving her hips up and down on him. Nik holds her waist in his hands, helping her along. Nik reaches one of his hands down towards her clit again, pinching it and teasing it. Jane hides her face in his neck, moaning softly in his ear.

"How selfish. You didn't want to let me cum inside of your mouth because you wanted it deep inside you right? Tsk Tsk." Nik pulls her clit and pinches it rougher than before, trying to give her pleasure and pain at the same time. Jane whimpers as he does this.

"You are acting like a little brat. I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson."

Jane immediately pulls her face away from his neck, fear evident in her wide eyes. Nik stops everything and pulls out of her. Tears start to form in Jane's eyes. "I-I'm sorry Jane. Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to. Are you okay?" He pulls her face back into his neck, one hand on the back of her head, the other rubbing circles on her back. He has never made anyone cry like this during sex before.

Jane and Nik stay in this position for a little while. Nik holds her, letting her quietly cry into him, unsure of what to do. Thoughts are racing in his mind as he tries to figure out what went wrong. She didn't seem hurt earlier. He thought she was enjoying herself, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe he misread the signs. He wants to ask her more, but he knows she isn't ready to talk yet, so he just waits, letting the guilt eat away at him. He wishes he could punch himself in the face right now for making Jane terrified like this.

Eventually Jane stops crying. Her breathing has calmed again and she sits back, looking up at Nik's face. He can't bring himself to look her in the eyes. He doesn't know what happened. He just knows that he did something he shouldn't have and hurt Jane somehow. Jane shifts so that Nik has to make eye contact with her. She isn't afraid nor is she sad, she was just overwhelmed.

"Are you okay Jane? I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" He asks his questions again, wanting to learn from whatever mistake he made so that he never makes it again with anyone.

"Yeah. I'm okay. I think you just spooked me a bit. That's all. You didn't hurt me physically. I just was afraid that you were going to hurt me and that I wouldn't have been able to stop you. I didn't know how else to respond."

"Did I say something wrong? Do you not like how I speak to you when we have sex? I can stop all of that. You can always say no and I will always respect that. I would never ever betray you like that." Nik searches her eyes, still confused, still looking for answers.

"You didn't do anything wrong necessarily. I just got reminded of something that happened and I didn't realize just how unprepared I am. I can't even address some parts of my past. I should have been more straightforward with you from the beginning."

"What do you mean? Did something happen to you before?"

"Yeah. I have liked most of what we've done so far and the way you treat me is so kind, even when you tease me. You check in on me, I just don't think I can get into 'punishment.' I had a negative experience earlier in my life and I guess it still affects me."

"Do you want to tell me more? You don't have to if you don't want to, I just want to know what I can do to avoid causing you pain or hurting you in anyway."

"I-I guess I can tell you more." Jane gets off of Nik and gets dressed again. Nik pulls on his clothes as well. Nik sits in his seat to offer Jane more room if she needs it. Instead of sitting in her seat, Jane just crawls back into his lap and hides her face in his neck again. Nik traces circles and random letters on her back, trying to help her stay calm. He doesn't want to force any uncomfortable conversations if Jane isn't ready for that. It's not like he's her boyfriend or anything. Even if he was, Nik knows that Jane has every right to her own privacy.

"I'm ready whenever you are. Whether that's now or thirty years from now, I can wait for whatever you have to say to me."

"I think I want to tell you now." She takes a deep breath and begins.

"I was in a relationship in the past. I thought I loved this guy. He made me happy, and this was during a time in my life when I wasn't proud of my body. We did things together that I hadn't done before. He constantly told me how beautiful and how lovely I was. He went out of his way to make me feel comfortable in the beginning. We stayed in this relationship for a few months. I started to trust him and fall for him. One day, we were kissing, and things were getting ... you know ... heated. He was saying things to me that I didn't understand. He was saying how I teased him and how I deserved to be punished and all these things he had never said to me before. I didn't understand, but I wanted to make him feel good like how I always did so I got naked for him and we started. It was weird because he just began to hit me almost as soon as he started fucking me. I asked him to stop. I begged him to stop but he didn't. This guy that I thought cared about me didn't actually care about me. Our relationship was secret and at that moment, he didn't listen to me or care about my feelings at all. It's like I was just some useless fuck thing. I sort of just remember feeling like I left my body, like it didn't belong to me, so I just closed myself off until he finished. I don't know if he ever saw me as a real person or if I was just being used. After that, we never spoke again. I never got an apology. He never checked in to see where I went. It just ended." Jane sighs, trembling slightly in Nik's lap. Nik stares at Jane, speechless.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner. I probably should have let you know from the get-go. Are you angry with me?" His lack of response terrifies her. Nik listens to her story. He can feel anger boiling within him. How could someone treat another person like this? What kind of fucking monster does that to someone? Nik tries to calm down. He doesn't want to scare Jane.

"Why would I be angry with you Jane? You did nothing wrong. You aren't required to share your life story with every single person you meet. You don't owe me anything. I should be the one who's sorry. I hurt you. Even if I didn't directly do anything to harm you, I still said something that upset you and I don't know if I can forgive myself for that. Don't worry about me, worry about you. I hope you are okay, and I hope I didn't just fuck everything up between us." Nik looks away from her again, ashamed of himself for not asking her about her boundaries before they started this physical relationship.

This beautiful person has never been anything but kind and sincere. Nik initially had doubts regarding her sincerity due to his wealth but the fact that she was willing to share this moment with him completely wiped that doubt away from his mind.

"It's okay. I'm okay. I am going to see that therapist eventually so that should help. Now we both know, and we can prepare better for that to avoid these situations in the future. If you still see a future with me." Jane can feel the tears forming again but she blinks them away. She can't imagine not seeing Nik again. He has become one of her friends, an important person in her mundane life.

"Of course I do. I love whatever this is that we have, and I don't want it to end if I can help it. Are you sure you are still okay with all of this? I can have another flight set up to take you home if you want to back out of this now. What do you want to do Jane? It is entirely up to you. I will understand whatever decision you make." Nik gives Jane another reassuring squeeze while he waits for her response.