Chapter 30

It's been a few days since Nik dropped her off at this foreign place. There have been so many changes so quickly, that she has barely had a moment to catch her breath. In all of the insanity that their lives are right now, Jane has not received any texts or calls or anything from Nik. Her anxiety is eating away at her slowly. Her thoughts are interrupted by shuffling footsteps followed by gentle knocking just outside the door of her sleeping space.

"Jane? Honey, are you doing alright? I don't know what's happening between you and my Nikky right now, but you have been really quiet this morning. Can I come in?" Nan waits for some sort of response but Jane stays silent. Nan, being the extremely loving albeit occasionally overbearing woman that she is, she enters anyway.

Jane remains wrapped in a ball of covers, not wanting to interact with anyone right now. She has spent so much energy the last three days trying to act like nothing is bothering her like everything is a hundred percent, hunky dory, absolutely perfect. It's exhausting and she doesn't know how much more of it she can handle. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself as she feels the weight of the bed shift. Nan now sits beside her curled-up form.

"Hey Jane, are you feeling okay? Do you want me to make you an espresso or anything?" Nan gently places her hand over the lump of covers hiding a human in some sort of attempt to provide reassurance and compassion to it. "Sweetie, you can't spend your whole morning like this."

Nan peels back a section of the covers, revealing Jane's face. Her cheeks are tear-stained. Her eyes are red and swollen. Her hair is in strands pointing in various different directions. Nan sighs, standing from the bed. Jane shifts so that she is sitting up now, not in some crumpled mess of limbs like before. Nan helps Jane flatten down some of her unruly tresses, rubbing away some of the dried tears she notices.

"Okay, Here's what we'll do. We aren't going to sit around all day, moping about my idiot of a grandson. What we are going to do is take a shower, eat something, and then have a nice long chat. Do you think we can manage that?" Nan's sweet voice and loving concern for Jane, as if she has been a part of this family for years, eases some of the pain and worry that eats away at Jane. She nods her head. "Perfect. You hop up out of bed and take your shower. I will go make us something to snack on." Nan clasps her hands together, spirits high now that she has been able to coax Jane to leave her depression den. She turns and leaves Jane to herself.

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Steam fills the nippy bathroom as the shower slowly heats up the room. Jane undresses and waits for the temperature of the water to be just right before stepping in. Drops of warm liquid cascade down her tired shoulders, getting rid of some of the goosebumps that previously littered her body from standing on the ice-cold bathroom tiles.

She closes her eyes, relishing in the feeling of the hot water caressing her. She slicks her soaked hair back away from her face and reaches her hand out to catch some water. She splashes her face with it, ridding herself of whatever sleep and sadness remain. She grabs whatever unopened bar of soap has been left out for her and uses it to scrub away at any grime.

She lathers up every inch of her body and replaces the soap. She lets the shower rinse everything away. Instead of immediately turning off the shower once she is finished bathing, she remains, not wanting to step back out into the cold bathroom. Sitting under the water reminds her of her last shower. It's a good thing she showered before she left for this place because the last three days of unpacking, hanging out with Nik's family, and pretending she is fine didn't leave any time or energy for Jane to properly take care of herself.

Her last shower. It was with Nik. During her last day in his home. The day he told her that she needed to leave. The day when they decided to goof off singing karaoke together with what little time they had left. God damn that man sucks at singing. If he hadn't been having so much fun, she may have offered to take over, putting him out of his misery but he wasn't miserable. He was joyful and silly.

It was the same day that Nik told her his feelings. He laid them all out before her, terrified of rejection but courageous enough to do it anyway. He loves her. Remembering his words and their beautiful dinner date is too much. Jane lets a few sobs loose. Better to get it all out now under the disguise of running water. She misses him intensely, with every fiber of her being. She just wants to see him and know he's okay.

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Once Jane is dressed, she migrates towards Nan's living room. A thick shag carpet covers the room paired with walls entirely crafted out of wood. The decor is similar to what you would see in those pictures of old seventies living rooms. Cozy, dim, lived in. The antithesis of Nik's home.

Nan is sitting on the couch. Jane decides to take the seat next to her. Nan beams as soon as Jane joins her. She gestures for Jane to grab some of the snacks she had prepared while Nan pours Jane a small cup of hot espresso. Jane lifts the cup to her lips. She isn't the biggest fan of coffee or coffee related beverages. She is more of a tea gal. One sip of the steaming rich beverage instantly changes her mind.

"Do you feel any better?"

"A little." Jane shrugs as she responds. She has lied to Nan once and is not about to do it a second time.

"Oh, dear. Well, fortunately, I have just the thing to cheer you up." As Nan's sweet nasally voice greets Jane's ears, a giant family photo album is plopped onto the coffee table in front of them. Nan gives it a loving pat, opening the cover and flipping through a few pages until they are at a section of the album dedicated to a baby.

The backdrop of the photo is the same kitchen located just behind them. On top of the counter is a giant silver pot. Inside the pot is a little baby. His chubby little cheeks are covered in marinara sauce, his deep brown eyes are sparkling, and most of his dark curly hair is covered by a ridiculous chef hat. Spaghetti noodles are draped over the baby, the pot, and splattered all around the kitchen counter. Adorable.

"Who is that?" Jane says between giggles.

"My little Nikky of course." Nan turns a few more pages of baby pictures. Immediately after the baby pictures come pictures of Nik in what looks to be early adulthood. Strange. Jane wonders why it skips from baby pictures right to Nik as an adult. "Too bad we don't have that many of him. His mother introduced us to our grandchild and we got to see him for a few short months before we were completely cut off." Nan's voice wavers. It must be a tough topic for their family.

"What is his mother like? And his father? His house doesn't have any pictures of any of his family members anywhere. None on the walls or in the library or even on his nightstand. Honestly, I would have thought he just materialized randomly one day as this gorgeous man and never actually grew or had a family." Jane sputters, awkwardly trying to move to a slightly different topic.

"His mother was beautiful. She was a greek model. Even though she was famous, she never let any of it get to her head. She kept her kindness and compassion for others through it all."

"I-I'm so sorry. I didn't realize she was no longer with us."

"Don't be sorry hon. I'm sure Nik hasn't told you much about his past. I mean he didn't really tell you about us before he sort of threw you into an impromptu family reunion at our restaurant." Jane shakes her head no. "Yeah, I'm not surprised. His mother was the glue that kept that broken family together. As soon as she passed, Nik's father lost whatever shred of humanity he had, not that there was much there, to begin with. He treats Nik so poorly. Less like a son and more like some employee. It's cruel."

"I had no idea. He hadn't told me about anyone, and he had that one nightmare last week, but he never seems like he is suffering or in any kind of pain. He is always just kind and caring. He asks about me and what I like to do. I guess I don't really know much about him at all." Jane rests her head in her hands. She feels like an inconsiderate asshole. This whole time she has been so wrapped up in her own anxieties and trauma that she didn't stop to consider that Nik might be hurting too.

"Don't get all worked up, Jane. He's been closed off for years. If anything, you are probably the first person he has shared any kind of emotion or vulnerability with." Nan's words are meant to comfort her but her guilt remains.

Her phone chimes, momentarily bringing her back to reality. For a split second, she thinks it could be Nik but that thought is replaced by thoughts of J. Her best friend has not sent her a single message or call this entire trip. It's abnormal for him to not check in on her.

Thinking about how selfish she has been with Nik makes her wonder just how selfish she has been with all of those in her life. Her phone chimes a second time, again, shaking her from her thoughts about how poorly she treats those around her. She glances down at her phone. It is a text from Nik. It reads:

Jane, I am so sorry for how unreachable I have been the past few days. I was taking care of things regarding our situation, love. I think it would be best for me to share my thoughts and experiences with you in person. I also just want to see that beautiful face of yours. Would you be down to meet me at Bacari W. 3rd? I want to take you out for a nice dinner to apologize for my shitty behavior. Let me know your thoughts.

Jane responds to the text with the following:

Don't worry about me Nik. I'm okay. I know that you are just doing whatever you can to figure out the blackmailer. I just hope you have been taking care of yourself. I can definitely meet you there. I've missed you so much.

'It's a date,' she thinks to herself, relieved that she has finally heard from Nik. She is also a mix of excited and nervous to see him again.