It's Saturday night. Your friend is having a party and you're invited. An hour before the party, you decide not to go. You text your friend with an excuse and stay at home to play video games instead. Weeks and months go by and you avoid several more parties because you don't want to miss out on gaming. Eventually, your friends give up and stop inviting you.
However, you now feel lonely and isolated – you miss your friends and regret prioritizing video games. Does this sound familiar?
This article looks at the social effects of video games, including the positive and negative impacts of gaming on social skills. And also what strategies you can use to improve your social skills if you are noticing they are a problem for you.
Excessive gaming can negatively impact social skills due to the lack of face-to-face interaction, the toxic nature of gaming and withdrawal from other social activities. Here are some of the adverse repercussions of unhealthy gaming habits:
Poor social skills
If you play video games too much, you can stop paying attention to your social skills. Developing social skills is one of the most important things you can do in life, but when you spend the entire day in front of a screen, you have few chances to hone that skill. This can lead to a deterioration of social skills, which results in a worse quality of life. We all need social skills, whether it's to find a job, nurture a relationship or make friends.
Luckily, social skills are like a muscle; the more you use them, the more they will grow. However, if you don't work on your social skills at all, they will weaken and decline. As with any skill, it will take time and determination, because at first, you might go through a few awkward experiences before you master your social skills.
Social anxiety
Many young people are stuck in the vicious cycle of gaming-induced social anxiety: they don't develop social skills because they play video games so much, but they can't socialize properly because they have social anxiety and don't have the right skills to do so.
People who suffer from video game addiction are more likely to have social anxiety than people who don't play games excessively. This is because social anxiety and gaming disorder are closely related and usually affect each other. You might develop social anxiety before getting addicted to video games – or it can happen the other way around.
Many people who suffer from social anxiety will turn to video games as a solution, and as an escape. It will work in the short term as you forget about other people. However, in the longer term, this will have an even worse effect on your social life. Your social anxiety will further deteriorate because you're not meeting or interacting with other people. If you have social anxiety and you're addicted to video games, it might help if you speak to a therapist.
Loneliness
Constantly playing video games to the detriment of other interests and activities is a slippery slope. You'll start to neglect your friends and family which can leave you isolated and unable to re-establish or strike up new relationships.
Some gamers compensate for their loneliness by meeting other gamers online, which can be helpful. However, these friendships are not the same as in-person relationships, so they're not a long-term, sustainable solution for loneliness.
Relationship breakdown
The social consequences of gaming addiction can be devastating. It can put a huge strain on relationships with family members and friends. Lying about the amount of time spent gaming and neglecting others to play video games compulsively can cause conflict, confrontation and even marriage breakdowns.
One woman posted about this issue on HuffPost. She complained about her partner playing video games so much that she was reconsidering the marriage, even though she was pregnant with his child. She explained that she was worried about the future as her husband was withdrawn and in denial about the extent of his gaming problems.
This is just one example of how gaming impacts social skills and can ruin relationships. It might not be your spouse that you're letting down; it could be another family member or friend.
The key to overcoming loneliness – and using video games as an escape – is gradual exposure. You need to try other hobbies that will allow you to socialize and find new friends in the physical world, even though it might seem intimidating at first.
Read our article: I have no friends and I want to change it.
Depression
Research shows that there's a strong correlation between social anxiety and other social disorders, and depression. Not everyone with social anxiety gets depressed, but depression is often caused by social anxiety. And as excessive gaming can cause social anxiety, it is also indirectly responsible for depression.
If you're socially anxious and don't have well developed social skills because of playing video games, you probably don't go out very often. As a result, you rarely meet new people, try new hobbies or have adventures and this can cause depression because life starts to lose its meaning.
This happened to Anthony, who, after many years of gaming and isolation became depressed and suicidal. He started seeing a therapist because he was desperate for a change. This helped him to rediscover his passions and purpose in life.
Get gaming under control without cravings, boredom or wasting time on other internet activities through our Respawn Coaching program.
Toxicity
The toxic nature of gaming can cause social problems for people who play excessively. If you have video game addiction, you may well have experienced online toxicity, harassment and hate.
Players sometimes try to rationalize toxic gaming culture as a normal part of gaming. In fact, research has shown that toxic behavior is contagious and regular exposure increases the likelihood that someone will bully and abuse other players in future games.
Find out more about the dark side of gaming culture: How the toxic gaming community made me quit gaming