HADIZA

It is Saturday morning in Onari's house, and you are nowhere to be found. Your phone charging on your bedside table had rung so much that it vibrated off the table. Daily morning calls with Midas is an activity you do during the holidays and they can last for hours. Especially when he goes on a business trip with his dad.

Your relationship with Midas is complicated, and it's not because you love his dreads, his perfect body proportions, his voice and his personality.

To you, Midas resembles a tattoo-less Future (the rapper), he is tall, with milk chocolate skin and a stellar smile. Unlike you, Midas is very lucky and because of that, he is effortlessly popular. You, Onari and the rest of the school had to earn your popularity but he just is.

Everyone knew Onari because of her infamous one-woman protests like Bread-gate. Then Onari took your explanation of Watergate literally and tied herself to the gate of the school kitchen to protest the mouldy bread one of your classmates was served the day before. It exposed that the staff in charge of buying breakfast ingredients had been embezzling money by buying large amounts of bread at discounts and stocking them up in the kitchen store.

That day Onari was the most hated student in school because breakfast was cancelled. In the end, the school sacked the embezzler and hired a baking team to bake fresh bread daily instead of outsourcing it. Onari's craziness earned her popularity and legend status on the school's wall of fame for receiving the most death threats in one day but she has long beat her record.

You, on the other hand, spent hours tutoring lots of students in the school. During afternoon prep you host explanatory classes where you break down and explain lessons taught in Junior and Senior classes into simpler terms. Paid, of course, you aren't Mother Theresa. Even though you are a fast reader with photographic memory it annoys you how Midas barely reads and just relies on winging the objectives and he is a top student.

There are several other things you hate about Midas. You hate how he would drop everything to hang out with you. You hate how he makes you laugh almost every day. But most of all you hate how he reminds you of your dad.

You have known Midas for three years and in those three years, he has asked you out almost every day even though you always reject him. You love spending time with him. But today Midas is worried about you because he saw you when you left the party. He knows you, but that terrified girl he saw wasn't the version of you he knows.

"Hey O, good morning", Midas says in his excited sing-song voice the moment Onari answers her phone. Onari still couldn't understand how her two best friends are morning people.

"M, it's like 9 am!" Onari says with her eyes barely open, "And Saturday", Onari adds.

"I know, O but it's important", Midas pleads.

"I'll come and open the door", Onari replies dreading the thought of leaving her bed.

"O, I'm not at your house, I'm at the airport remember... Please can you check on D, she's not answering", Midas replies.

"She's probably asleep", Onari answers mentally chanting, "God please tell this lover boy to leave me alone so I can sleep".

"You know D is not like you, she's a morning person", Onari could hear the worry in Midas' voice as it got lower. "She was acting strange last night… just before you guys left", Midas says, his voice shaking as he walks pulling his carry-on trolley bag through the airport.

Onari opens her eyes. She also thought you were acting strange yesterday. "Okay! Okay! Okay! I'm up." She says slipping into her cheeky emoticon slippers. "You did something, didn't you?" Onari asks as she drags her body out of her room.

"I swear I didn't do anything", Midas says waiting for Onari's response.

Onari runs up to your room wearing layers of yellow. A pair of yellow fuzzy emoticon slippers, a Spongebob tank top and pyjama shorts, and a black satin bonnet with a yellow ribbon.

"Morning bestie, your lover is disturbing my sleep", she teases as she opens your door, but your bed is empty. She checks the upstairs lounge, then runs to the games room where the twins are playing X box, and then she goes down the winding stairs to check the living room and kitchen.

"Hadiza! D!", she calls your name as she searches each room. "Dad, Good morning, have you seen D", Onari's dad shakes his head as he digs into his classic Nigerian breakfast of plantains, eggs and pap while reading the newspaper. Onari coldly greets Madam Bella who is eating breakfast with her dad, "Morning", then asks the maid about Hadiza's whereabouts.

For someone that is trying to keep a secret, you are making another mistake. You aren't acting normal. Last night, Guilt led your sleeping body to hide in the wardrobe, whilst your dreams were plagued by nightmares of the Ego awards. Your body betrayed you by welcoming back your parasomnia.

Onari decides to go back and search your room. "Dad!" Onari screams as she reluctantly opens your wardrobe. "I think something is wrong with D again", she says prying the clothes apart to reach you. "D! wake up! are you okay?", she asks shaking you repeatedly. The first thing you see today is the heartbreak in Onari's eyes. It had been almost two years since your last episode, and in one night your old friend parasomnia took over.

"Let me see your hands!", Onari cries as your sleep-deprived eyes start to look down at your hands. You could hear the tears in her words as she tugged at your closed fists. Her tears pour out uncontrollably when she sees your bloody fingertips and injured palms.

"D did something happen at the party?" Onari asks, but you stay silent. You had promised yourself that you wouldn't make the same mistake again. "This time, I'm not going to say anything", you tell yourself.

"Stop crying! I just had a nightmare, I have them often", you say with a determined look. Knowing that you are not good at lying, you settle for leaving out parts of the truth. Your eyes look everywhere else to avoid looking at Onari. You knew your best friend could read your eyes and her hero complex would only get her hurt.

You know she is going to ask you about last night, so you answer the question before it is asked, "Nothing happened, I just had an accident in the bathroom at the party, and it gave me nightmares", you say matter-of-factly as Onari's dad and Madam Bella rush into the room.

Onari stays silent. Her expression tells you that she is hell-bent on getting to the bottom of it, whatever she thinks 'it' is. The thing you had told yourself to forget.

"Bella please can you get the first aid kit?", Madam Bella immediately leaves the room. "Hadiza, I'm calling your doctor", Onari's dad says and leaves the room. You begin wondering how you'll convince uncle Eddie that you didn't need another therapy session.

Your night-time bonnet and pyjama pairing look like Onari's, but in the colour blue, she likes it when both of you dress like twins. Onari leads you out of the wardrobe towards your bed. But you can see the girl from last night on your bed. Instead, you sit on the bedroom chaise with your eyes fixed on the girl on the bed.

"Stop!" she whispers as she did before, and your hands are shaking again. Then your eyes begin tearing up, and you dig your nails into your skin to stop the tears.

The girl on the bed transforms into Guilt and Guilt smiles at you, "Hadiza you can't run from it."

"Hadiza what are you staring at", Onari looks at you perplexed.

"I'm hungry, have you had breakfast?" you say trying to change the subject.

"Not yet, Madam Bella's twins finished all the plantain", Onari says loudly as Madam Bella drops the first aid kit. "Because of someone we'll have to find something else to eat for breakfast", Onari stares intently at Madam Bella who mouths a "Sorry", to you before leaving. Onari has beef with Madam Bella, after all, what teenager likes their father's girlfriend unless a Miracle happens?

"How would you like it if the tables were turned", Guilt says stealing back your attention. It morphs itself to look like you and lies on the bed in the same position the girl was in. "Imagine if the girl in the bathroom was Onari instead of you", Guilt asks morphing back into the girl on the bed.

You knew Onari would have fought off those boys with anything she could lay her hands on. She would have declared war on those rapists using a toilet brush, towels and hand washing soap. "I'm not Onari", you say angrily.

"I'm not asking you to be like me", Onari says. "Is it about the pyjamas? Do you not like that I chose SpongeBob?" Onari says switching to the part of the chaise that faced the bed hoping you'll look at her. But your eyes are glued to the bed.

Guilt smiles at you again then it morphs into the Onari and lies back on the bed. "What would you have done if the girl on the bed was Onari?"

"Stop!" you yell.

"Stop what?" Onari says removing her hand from your shoulder.

"What would you have done if the girl on the bed was Onari?" Guilt asks you again. Guilt mimics Onari's voice and says "Stop!"

"Please D what's going on!" Onari asks wondering what you are seeing on the bed.

"You're a coward!" Guilt yells at you. "A disgusting coward! You eat her food! Wear her clothes! Live off her parents and-" Guilt says smiling even more intently.

"D?" Onari says. "You're running temperature, I could fry an egg on your head", she says with one arm on your forehead and the other on her head.

"Let's go downstairs", you say getting up and walking backwards to make sure Guilt doesn't follow you downstairs. During your conversation with Guilt, Onari had plastered up your wounds. She cooked noodles and eggs with sausages the way you liked them. You could barely eat the food because Guilt is hovering over your shoulder telling you how much of a coward you are.

"I wonder if Midas would still like you if he hears that you will do nothing if you see Onari being raped", Guilt says and you choke. You run to the downstairs bathroom and lock yourself up. Guilt shakes you after you finish emptying everything in your stomach.

"D are you okay!", Onari says running off after dropping water behind the bathroom door. "I left a bottle of water behind the door, you know I have no gag reflexes", she yells from the other side of the main living room.

After another round of breakfast, and a chat with Madam Bella and Uncle Eddie you had managed to postpone your therapy session. You come over to Onari's room armed with a cock and bull story to describe the nightmare you had last night. Your lie had been constructed using things from the horror movies you had watched.

"You aren't dressed?" Onari states once you enter her room. "D it's almost 3 pm, we need to go to the tailor's shop to slim fit our uniforms, don't tell me you forgot", she stuffs a heap of school uniforms into a big tote bag.

"I'm not slim fitting it … we don't need to, we'll grow into it", you wonder if they did that to the girl you forgot because of the clothes she was wearing.

"You were the one that brought up the idea. We can always buy new ones if we outgrow these", Onari argues.

"Please. Let's just pack okay", you say emptying the tote bag and folding the clothes that were formerly in it. While you fold you mentally rehearse the phrases: "Forget about it", "I didn't hear anything, I didn't see anything, I wasn't there", and "Nothing happened at the Ego awards".