C14: Summer
[ Monday, August 29 ]
I set my camera on my tripod and placed it in a good spot on the seashore. As I looked into the camera's viewfinder, the sun started rising that can be seen from the horizon. It filled the sky with mixtures of blue, pink, red, orange and white – it looked like a blank canvas painted by an artist who finds joy in taking the people's breaths away. If it is so, that would be God, who designed the sunrise to be like this.
The cold water that made my feet sink a bit into the sand pulled back into the sea, and the wind blew slightly that gave me shivers as it blew my long hair away from me.
For a couple of years after I graduated, I've spent most of my time inside a beautiful cage with four corners, where all my energy and time are consumed, for it is my responsibility as the daughter of a businessman. For him, seeing us just enjoying life without exerting any effort to run the company is something hateful, so we need to do our roles. After all, the three of us – Amethyst, Sasha and I are the heirs of The Crown. It can be stressful, but what can I say? It's not my fault that I was born in this family.
But sometimes, having the chance to unwind is what I need, and thankfully, that is today.
I looked at the photos in my camera to see how well I captured the sunrise before it completely appears. The photos are vivid, well-detailed, and are best to be posted on Instagram. I'll certainly do that later when I can transfer the files to my laptop. I'll surely get thousands of likes. I can't say I'm surprised, though. It's normal.
I removed the camera from the tripod and sat down to view the photos that I took. The sounds of the waves were like music in my ears that lifts up my mood. Even though I traveled alone, it's not really that bad. I just had to stay away from the city for a while even though tonight, I have to fly back to the city.
As I savor the silence, a familiar voice ruined the moment. "What are you doing here?"
I looked back to see who it was. Shawn. He's the last person that I'm expecting to see or approach me out of the blue. He sat few meters away from me as if I do smell bad. What a jerk, as always.
"Is it wrong to be here, stranger?" I asked while rolling my eyes as I looked away with a frown.
"Heh, still mad at me?" from the corner of my eye, I can see him shaking his head while smiling. I can't understand him. After he broke my heart into thousands of pieces, he can still act like this.
Truth is, with this kind of attitude, I can't imagine any girl who can tolerate his personality. I can't imagine him having a girlfriend again. If he's not even sensitive about why I'm acting this way, he'll never understand a girl's feelings. For goodness' sake, I don't even know what we are now.
"How can I even get mad at you? You're a complete stranger, I never met you elsewhere. What are you talking about?"
"C'mon Summer, there's no point in pretending." I didn't bother to comment. There are lots of things that I want to do right now. My hands feel incredibly heavy as it shakes as if finding the right face to land on. At the same time, I want to walk closer to him, close the distance between the two of us, wrap my arms around him and cry on his shoulder while ranting or beating his chest because of anger. I don't even know how to start and what to do.
An awkward silence surrounded the two of us. I can't say I'm surprised. In fact, I will if we didn't experience any kind of awkwardness after everything that happened. "The sunrise is beautiful, don't you think?" he said, his eyes focused at the sunrise.
"Sure, it is. Very, actually. Too bad you appreciated the beauty of the sun but not the beauty of your ex-girlfriend." He faked a laugh upon hearing me say those words. I don't know what's that supposed to mean. How can he make fun of me in this kind of situation? It's not like what I said was a joke.
"Are you my ex?" Shawn looked at me, but I couldn't look at him in the eyes. I only see him at the corner of my eye. For some reason, his question made my stomach turn.
"I don't even know what we are," I said, pressing my lips together. What should I say next? I'm totally out of words. I certainly have a lot to say, but words never came out. I want to shout and cry in front of him. Tell the world that I'm not okay, that deep inside I am all crushed when we … I don't know, I don't think that we broke up. Like I've said, I don't know what we are now.
"Me neither. I don't know what we are because things are so complicated."
I'm dying to ask, "Should we make things clear, then?" but something inside stops me from doing so. I keep my pride up. I can't just break down here for it makes me feel weak. I'd rather lock myself in my room and cry alone than let others see my weakness, which is him.
I leaned my head on my knees and took some sand in my hands and squeezed them as if they are stress balls. I blinked with tears, but as I looked up, nobody's there, not even some footprints of a person who came to the same direction.
It's just a dream. A daydream about him.
The night when Amethyst had gone missing, I remember when Shawn texted me saying that he'll go to our house and talk to me so that he can make things clear.
But he didn't come. The thing understand is why. Why does he need to give me false hopes about the matter? He should've at least said that he wouldn't come in the first place. I expected a lot and didn't even get an explanation after. I can't help but wonder what happened to him, with that sudden change of mind. Whenever I call his number, it's always out of reach. How am I supposed to reach this person if I can't contact him?
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[ Wednesday, September 7 ]
The ringing sound of my phone started buzzing. It is placed on my bedside table, and with my eyes closed, my hand searched for it. As I felt the smoothness of the screen, I picked it up to see who's calling. Vaughn. It's only 4:52 am. Why would he call this early? The sun hasn't appeared yet at the very least.
"Hello?" I said as I rubbed my eyes.
"Miss Summer, is it? I'm sorry if I woke you up, but I'm using Vaughn's number because we had an emergency. I brought him to the hospital because his head hurts. I kept on calling his family but nobody's answering, so I decided to call you instead since you're like his sister-in-law." the unfamiliar voice explained.
"He has a migraine? Why would you bring someone who has a migraine in the hospital? Isn't that a little too exaggerated? Who is this anyway?" I asked, partly annoyed because seriously, he ruined my sleep.
"I'm Johan Hernandez. But anyway, he's in a bad condition, and this isn't the first time that he had a migraine as bad as this. He mentioned that even before Amethyst had gone missing, he's been experiencing migraines like this but –"
"Can't you be straight to the point? What's going on?" I said, cutting him off. I don't usually raise my voice, but it pisses me off. I don't have time to know the details right now. I need to get the reason what made this urgent and know the details later because I need to sleep more.
"He's diagnosed with Chordoma. If you haven't heard of it, then it's a rare kind of cancer, and only one in a million can have this disease. The cause is unknown and there are no exact cures for it yet but it can be treated. In Vaughn's case, it started in the base of his skull. Therefore, he gets headaches, facial pain or numbness, feeling dizzy or unsteady, difficulty focusing the eyes … things like that. Just imagine how it's like – he's too desperate in searching for Amethyst and does so many efforts then he became sick. I'm not saying that this is because of his task but still, he's not in a good condition. According to the doctor, many people undergo multiple surgeries to remove the tumor in his head, radiation therapy can help to reduce the reoccurrence but it returns. Chemotherapy may temporarily stop the progression of the tumor. I'm afraid not all kinds of surgeries are available in the country, so he needs to find some real doctor who's specialized in Chordoma."
He can't be serious. How can this happen? It was like yesterday, it's just all about the betrayal drama and now his body is giving up? He can't be like this. Now that Vaughn's in this condition, it makes me think that he'll need Amethyst even more. Yet, the same question is there – Where in the world is she?