C37: Summer

[ Saturday, December 24 ]

Tomorrow's Christmas day. For some reason, I can't help but feel a bit of excitement that for the first time, our family, Vaughn's parents and finally, Shawn's parents would all gather together tonight for the Christmas Eve dinner. Just like the old family culture when Shawn's family isn't with us – we gather for the December 24 dinner and wait until 12 am, which is December 25th. That's when we exchange gifts for everybody and have few meals again. It might involve a lot of eating, so I won't be surprised if I gain weight in this season. What I'm sure of is at least, I don't gain too much that ruins my figure.

Now that I think about it, it feels weird that we're all celebrating as one family even though nobody's even married. I get the idea about Vaughn and Amethyst. They're engaged, so there's some fixed connection between our family and their family. But now that Shawn's family is with us – the Barrons, as well as the kids from Edevieth – I can't help but think about connections too. Shawn is just my boyfriend, but even after fixing everything in our relationship, I can't imagine him thinking about marriage.

I don't want to think that Shawn isn't mature enough to propose, but perhaps I feel a bit envy about my sister getting married soon enough while me, the older one is not even engaged. I do know that Shawn's attention is mostly on his father because he has a father-son relationship that needs mending, so I can't say that the thing about us even crosses his mind. What worries me is, I don't see him as someone having any goals for the future, unlike Vaughn who has it all planned out.

I picked up my phone to check for messages. There's no unread message, but the reminder about meeting Shawn today beeped as a reminder. Exactly two weeks ago – December 10th, Shawn told me that he wants us to go for a date on 24th. That had me thinking why he had to request that early as if I'm going anywhere. As someone who occasionally thinks about getting married, the thought about him proposing to me crossed my mind. Of course, I can tell that it's overthinking, because Shawn said that we should meet at 11 am. The idea is, who proposes in the morning? There's a little hint of drama when someone proposes in the evening, right? With all those candles or fancy lights or whatever. I know Shawn – normally our date is maximum of 4 hours. If we'll meet at 11 am, then we'll finish in the afternoon. Therefore, what I was looking forward to won't happen today.

As if.

But then again, ever since the things between Shawn and I got fixed, there's always a part of my day where I'll think about us getting married. Apparently, this is my moment of daydreaming once again. Someone should really slap me back to reality.

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The clock strikes at 10:45 am. I stepped out of the villa, and the sun was dazzlingly bright, making me stop for a moment and for some reason, I took a minute to examine my entire outfit – something that I always do before leaving the house. I held the sides of my knee-length dress finely embroidered with lace and some light blue frills edged the neckline and sleeves. The smooth, white fabric that serves as my dress's body made it look adorable and it feels light. My 3-inched black stilettos felt comfortable enough for me to last the entire day.

Shawn's car finally approached our gate and his car's window slowly opened, revealing his face that looks like someone who saw a ghost. He didn't say a word, as if time stopped when he opened the window. I threw him a daggered glare as I frown when I opened the passenger's seat.

"Would you please, stop looking at me like that? It's confusing and disturbing." I demanded. Shawn shook his head, coming back to his senses. He squeezed his eyes shut and our eyes met.

"Sorry, I just – I wasn't expecting you to wear something fancy. When I see anything that includes white and lace, it makes me think of wedding gowns. I'm curious about why you picked that dress, to be really honest."

"Oh, it's because it was on sale. I got it at 2,599. Its original price was 3,599 so the 1,000-peso off is a good deal. Do you like it?"

He pressed his lips together as if holding himself on saying something. But he ended up looking away and chuckled after hearing my statement. I narrowed my eyes as I observe his reaction, my head full of questions.

"What's so funny?"

"You're funny. I mean, some girls really had to tell the story about their clothes and its price, you know? I'm not really complaining, but I didn't see it coming. Anyway, I find it nice."

I don't know if I should still thank him for that because his reaction felt like an insult to me. I really can't understand what's with him today. Something feels weird.

"Right," I sighed heavily. "So, where exactly are we going?"

Without any other dead moment, he smiled brightly and answered, "To a place where that dress fits."

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After an hour of us on the road, I stepped out of the car and felt the wind's warmth that passed through my skin. The sun shines brightly, still – but as I look around the place, I see no one else with us except for some staff in the restaurant. I want to believe that this wasn't like Shawn's old style when we ate at Trust me, you'll like it. Back then when we went there, he mentioned that the dinner wasn't a part of his plan and it was a coincidence that no one else was there. Now, Shawn seemed to plan things because he informed me about this two weeks earlier.

For some unknown reason, I hear the rush of blood roaring in my ears, hammering in time with my heart. I'm not supposed to be this restless, because this is just lunch. I can't even see any hint of preparations from Shawn so I really should stop overthinking. Thing is, my intuition tells me that something's going to happen.

"You … didn't reserve this place, didn't you?" I asked the same question I asked last time when we went out.

Shawn looked back to me and scowled. "Why would I do that for you?"

"Uh, that's a thought, okay? I just find it weird that there's hardly anyone in here." I didn't know that his reaction would be like that, although I pretended to keep my cool when I replied. Why does he sound like he's mocking me? What's wrong with him? This whole date thing is disappointing. I want to go home.

Shawn held my hand unexpectedly, catching me off guard, making me gasp in surprise. "Um …"

"Didn't see it coming?" he teased. "You look like you're being carried away by your thoughts. Is there something bothering you? Something I need to know?"

"Not really, no. Something just feels … off, you know? I don't know what." Shawn just blinked after hearing my answer, his facial expression remaining blank.

After a couple of seconds of dead air, Shawn shrugged things off and led me inside the restaurant. The entire restaurant's wall is dark brown in color, which I suppose is wood because it doesn't look like it's made of metal or stone. The entire place is dim and only the hints of light from the four corners, as well as the huge chandelier that features accents of crystal pendants that hangs from the ceiling, are the only sources of light.

I don't get it. Why would Shawn choose a place that's too dark? It almost looked like the scenarios in horror movies where people will light up candles and summon the monster.

We stopped walking when Shawn chose a spot for us to sit on, and when we sat on the opposite sides of the table – facing each other – the entire place lost its light. Everything turned into pitch black.

"What is this, a prank? Or did they ran out of customers so they couldn't pay their electric bills?" I asked in a panicking tone until time felt like it stopped when the walls produced hints of light little by little – the entire wall of wood turned into a full view of a garden in the spring season. The flowers and trees are blooming one by one, the sun was giving a heat that's just enough for us not to sweat and the birds from afar were chirping happily. Thing was, even if the entire surroundings turned into a garden scenario, the chandelier from earlier remained the same, which caught my attention.

"Shawn, what is going on? Where are we?"

He smiled playfully, impressed with my reaction. He looked away, holding himself back from laughing. "We're still in the restaurant. Just watch and see." He gestured the waiter right after and gave us the menu. The moment where I flipped a page, our surroundings changed again, turning the spring surroundings into a sunny, summer day – the same garden was still there, but the sun felt warmer and the flowers, as well as the rest of the garden, are all bloomed. It feels like a joke to ask if we're in a garden and the seasons just changed, because I couldn't recognize the restaurant at all except for the lone chandelier earlier.

"These are just … you know, some kind of effects? It looks too real to conclude that they're not real," meanwhile, a breeze was felt that changed the surroundings to the autumn season where the dead leaves from the trees fall, and the colors that gave life to the season were different shades of red, orange, yellow, brown and small hints of green.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I feel like I'm being played at, but even though everything that I'm seeing is all made by human intelligence, I couldn't find the right words to say how impressed I am with everything that feels like a dream. I'm not exactly a techy person, but I still can't imagine how they made everything look real.

Meanwhile, the season changed once again and the breeze felt chilly. The autumn walls transitioned little by little until everything was covered with ice caps. The trees are dead and hardly any plant lives.

"… now, even the temperature changed." I finally said.

I have no other words left. I don't know what else should I say to Shawn, because clearly, he planned to bring me to a place that is above my expectations once again. He's really good with surprises.

A slow, warm smile appeared on Shawn's face, "I'll take those reactions as you saying that you can't say anything else because you're impressed. It doesn't matter how I discovered this place, but I thought you'd love it as much as I do so I brought you here since I wanted to see those reactions from your face. I missed that."

Now that he mentioned it, I have no idea about what to say. Everything made me speechless, I can't say anything more. All I know is, everything that's happening this moment are heartfelt. I'm usually the kind of person who uses my thinking side more often, but now I feel emotional, which feels strange.

"I don't know anything else to say. Everything is fascinating. Thank you for bringing me here. You really know how to make me happy, don't you?"

"The Summer I know is someone who's as cold as ice whenever she's in her work. Now I want to see you loosen up, that's why."

Before and after we ate the food that melted in my mouth, Shawn and I had selfies together, one or two in each season since we requested them to. After all the selfies and photos taken by the waiters, Shawn and I left the place. It's 2:35 in the afternoon, but the weather is a bit cloudy which is my kind of weather. I decided not to ask Shawn about where we'll go next because I'm more than sure that he'll say, 'wait and see,' or anything similar to that.

An hour later, we stopped to a circular garden full of different kinds of flowers of different kinds and colors like lilies, roses, bluebells, anemones, carnations, and larkspur. I love flowers. I really do. Shawn isn't the kind of person who'll give me flowers, but showing me this place feels like he gave it to me anyway.

"It would be so cliché if I'll say that this place is beautiful and thank you for bringing me here. But my mind is filled with questions on why. I mean, it feels too … you know, fancy? Since normally we just eat somewhere out." I said, still looking around at the place.

"I feel too full since we ate, so I wanted some tea. The small shop there can serve as tea. Sit on the bench there for a while, I'll be back and just get us some tea." Shawn replied, his facial expression blank.

Around 10 minutes later, he went back together with a crew who's holding the tray of two cups and tea. I followed Shawn to the place where there are tables and we sat on the opposite parts of the table. Again, hardly anyone is around which feels odd.

Shawn poured tea in our cups and he started drinking it. "What time is it?" he asked as he took a sip from his cup.

I raised narrowed my eyes as I look at my watch. "3:45 pm. Why are you even asking? You have your own watch."

"I was messing with you," he chuckled, slightly laughing at his own foolish joke. His face turned serious as he put down his empty cup on the table. "You know, I have this belief that there are different seasons of love, that's why I brought you there earlier. Winter, spring, summer, and fall. Winter, when everything between the two people feels cold, spring when their old relationship blooms again, summer when everything's healthy, and fall when the love is dying."

"I never thought of those things," I commented. "I believe we're in the spring season?"

"We're in fall," Shawn stood up and walked away. I put my cup down and followed him. He just said that fall season means the love is dying. I don't understand any of this. As far as I know, we just fixed the old us and everything's going fine. His comment pierced my heart a bit and I have lots of questions in my head.

"I'm not going to say this again so listen," he began, his voice calm, but I can sense that he's thinking deeply about the exact words that he should say. "I made you happy today because I want to see you that way before I say this." he looked at me, his eyes full of sadness. He gave me a sad smile and looked down as if to process his thoughts once again. As he looked up, looking straight to my eyes. "I want to break up with you today, Summer."

The words felt like thousands of daggers that pierced my heart. I feel like crying, but I'm more of shocked and I have no idea how to react. The silence between the two of us felt heavy and I stood there in silence, frozen.

Shawn lifted my left hand as he knelt down in front of me, pulling out a red box from his pocket. He opened it with one hand, revealing a shiny yellow-gold ring adorned with a diamond and opal stone on its upper part. "I want to break up with you as my girlfriend, Summer Monteverde because I want to ask you if you can be my wife."

I bit my lower lip and the tears filled with pain turned to tears of joy which rolled down my cheeks.

"I really hate you for playing with my feelings." I broke down, almost like a child. "I have nothing else to say but yes."

Shawn inserted the ring into my ring finger. He stood up and pulled me towards him, securing me in his arms. "Thank you for letting me be a part of your life. From now on, we're no longer just lovers. We are kindred spirits who have promised to spend a lifetime together." He pulled away a bit and kissed my forehead. His warm hand wiped my tears away. I couldn't express the mixed feelings that I have deep inside because I no longer know how to start.

"I was … for some time now, I've been wondering about when you'll propose. I was expecting that you'll do it sometime in the evening in a romantic place or something, you get the idea. But everything felt different, especially because you broke my heart first before proposing. I really can't believe you."

"I'm not a romantic person, so I kept things low-key because if I'll force myself to be romantic and do cliché proposals, it would make me feel like a phony." I rolled my eyes as I smile. "Really? This is what you call low-key? Nothing is low-key about what happened today."

"Whatever," he grinned. "I love you, Summer Monteverde."

"… and I love you too, Shawn Daniel Barron."