Chapter 11

Crystal

"C-cancer?"

For a moment, my mind went blank and it refused to think about some other matters. But when he repeated that unexpected word, I blinked and let out an empty chuckle that didn't even move my eyes. "A-are you sure, doctor? That's impossible. Maybe you are only mistaken for my mother as other patients. Her name's Crisanta Bretz. Please check the records again."

He stared at me for a couple of seconds, not even bothering to check his damn notes. The way he looked at me, pity was written on his face. "How I wish I really made some mistakes in the tests." He signed, shaking his head slowly as he looked down at the folder with my mother's name typewritten on the side of it. "But I'm afraid my findings are accurate since day one of the lab results."

"S-since day one?" My bewilderment creased my forehead. "W-what do you supposed to mean? When did Mama start seeing you?"

The doctor narrowed his eyes and gazed at me with low brows. "She didn't tell you that she's been under pills for four months now?"

"I… I know she's been taking pills… for her frequent headache." The abnormal racing of my heart was causing my tongue to function for me. Hell, the longer this conversation proceeds, the scarier I become. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to ask the questions I was afraid to ask. Problem was, my lips were trembling as if I kissed a block of ice, freezing my brain and preventing it from working properly. "W-what—"

"What is the extent of her condition, doctor? And what kind of cancer is it to be exact?" Erik inquired the doctor, placing both of his hands on my shoulder. He made a firm squeeze on them as if telling me to stay as calm as possible. I looked up at him and he gave me a small smile and I'm—on—it gazes.

"She has stage four breast cancer."

I and Erik shifted to the doctor. He resumed explaining as Erik continued to listen. My senses, on the other hand, seemed to become paralyzed. I could see their mouths moving, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. My hands that were shaking turned cold and my sight almost went dark. I didn't know fear until this day when Mama's life was involved. Oh, God, I wished this was just a bad dream.

"Crystal. Crystal, are you alright? Do you hear me?" I blinked at Erik when I heard him calling my name in a worried tone while tapping my cheek gently. I realized that the doctor was gone and we were sitting on the bench, his arms were around me, caging me in an embrace. He gazed left and right as if seeking someone. "God, you're so pale. I will call the nurse to check on yo—"

"N-no. No need!" I gasped and grabbed his arm when I was finally brought back from my senses. "My mother is the only one who has the right to be checked. I'm totally fine."

"Are you sure?" He frowned, the concern in his voice made it husky and thick.

"Yes." I nodded with no hesitation. And then I turned to the ER door, particularly at the red bulb above it. "Why is it no longer glowing?"

"The doctor said, they just transferred your mother to the ICU. You can visit him in a few minutes. A nurse will advise us if everything's ready," Erik said.

***

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in a chair next to Mama's bed. The apparatus around her looked complicated and frightening. But I knew she needed each one of them for her to live longer. She was still not conscious, but her chest was rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

My heart felt as if there was a huge rock pressing it while I watched my mother sleep. God knows how much I control my tears to fall. I didn't want to contaminate anything in this room that could affect her situation.

Sorry, Mama, I cried in my thoughts as I gazed at her without almost blinking. My elbows were resting on my thighs as I leaned forward. Under my face mask, I was biting my bottom. I didn't know. I should have figured that everything wasn't right as you go to the hospital beyond regular appointments. How could I not notice that you are suffering from this?

My mind made a painful recall of our argument where I questioned her about the whereabouts of the money my father was wiring to us. Now the truth came to my face, giving me a hard slap. Oh, God, how cruel of me when I accused her of being selfish. Turned out, that I was referring to myself. I was the one selfish and inconsiderate daughter!

"Please wake up now, Mama," I wept under my breath, brushing my fingers against her pale knuckles. Thank goodness, her skin still felt warm. "I promise I'll be a good daughter. I will not ever question you. You've never done anything that put me in harm. I understand why you chose to keep this from me—you don't want me to worry about your sickness."

God knew how much I wanted to jump on the bed and embrace her. But her state was so fragile that all I could do was touch her hand.

"Miss Crystal, someone is looking for you outside."

I cleared my throat and slowly cocked my head to one side as some medical staff approached me. I couldn't see her face because it was hidden under a mask. I couldn't even recognize all of her because she was in a full protective suit.

"Is it Erik?" I almost forgot about him. But unfortunately, only the family was allowed inside the ICU.

She shook his head. "Mr. Erik Jimenez is not in the waiting lounge. I'm referring to someone else. He introduced himself as Mr. Miguel Wayne, the husband of the patient."