Five Years

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**

"She doesn't have much time left," a guy with dark hair beside Alice said as they watched the scorching landscape on the other side of the dome through a glass. He steadily puffed out smoke from his cigarette.

The lights were blue, adding to the cool atmosphere of the conditioned air. Metal clanks echoed in the place as the public trains traveled along the rails hanging from above. A few people were passing by behind them, all have their business to attend to.

"So?" she asked without a single care as she grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and smoked. She bitterly exhaled the smoke.

"I heard about the Divine Fra—"

She squeezed his cheeks with her right hand to shut him while smoking with the other. But she was a stormless ocean as she said, "Don't talk about that here. Do you wanna get in trouble?"

"Sorry," he apologized and felt like biting his tongue for forgetting. "But you know what I mean." She nodded twice but took long as she finished the last of his cigarette until there was only the butt left.

"You mean you want me to carry you?" she scoffed. "I don't think so. You're the man. You should be the one who should be carrying me. Just imagine how romantic that would be."

She threw the cigarette butt away and it fell hundreds of meters down the chasm-like civilization below, never to be seen again. Then she walked away and he followed like a desperate dog asking for a morsel.

"I don't have a choice," he reasoned. "It's gonna take me a very long time."

"Then suffer it as I did."

"I would suffer it if I can, yes, but it's impossible for the time I have left—you know that. Please, I'll do anything!"

She stopped walking and turned around to show him her smug face. "Anything?"

**

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Five years have passed since then. We settled in a small home in this village called "Caeruleum". I don't care why it is named like that but describe this town as a little too quiet compared to the prosperous Rave Kingdom. Giant glowing blue mushrooms surround this small town. Critters and edible mushrooms can be found everywhere so I can just go out and bring back something to eat for me and Helena.

She's five now and very active. I kinda find it troublesome because she breaks a lot of things in the house. Her pink hair has grown down to her shoulder. Nisha loves it as well as her chubby cheeks. Her eyelashes, eyebrows, and eyes are pink too. Along with her pink dress, she looks like a plumpy pink flower. I kinda. . . like it. She looks cute. I can't believe this pure thing is my daughter. Well, this is only because I'm in Shannia. I'm glad she didn't inherit my ugly true self. I could only wish that I have a cute daughter like her in the real world.

Then. . . I wonder if what I feel about her is true because of this whole "buff" thing. It's silly to think about, but would my mother accept her as her real granddaughter? In this world, probably. However, I don't know. I didn't even know her that much. I can't say she'll be proud of this.

I'm here at my desk crafting a mirror-like device that will enable me to talk to people anywhere in Shannia. It's called Speculum. I collected hundreds of needed materials throughout the forest, from traveling merchants, and blacksmiths. Why am I working on this? Simple. This is so I can finally fulfill her wish to see and talk to her mother.

Then she suddenly embraces me from behind for no reason. I almost applied too much magic to the mirror.

"Helena," I say. "what did I tell you?"

I've scolded her hundreds of times to not interrupt me. I need to constantly feed magic to the mirror. If I put too much magic on it, it will shatter. Too little and I will start all over again. It takes five days to do it but she has interrupted me nine times now. No matter how much I scold her, she wouldn't listen. I just learned to put up with it and let Nisha discipline her.

"Is it finished yet?" Helena asks, still hugging me from behind.

"It won't be if you don't listen to what I say." I'm controlling my anger because I don't want to upset her. The last time she did, I had to repair the whole roof.

"Nisha," I call for her as she is cooking in the kitchen.

Without much effort put into it, she says, "Helena, let go of your father."

The girl lets go of me. I wonder why she only listens to Nisha. I don't get it. Anyway, don't lose focus. You're almost there. Don't screw this up. Yup, that's for today's session. I keep it safe in the drawer and lock it to keep safe from Helena.

"Dinner's done," says Nisha. Right on time.

As usual, I and Helena eat while Nisha just observes us. Nisha and I are a team to entertain Helena. She's a talkative kid that never runs out of anything to say even if it's something that doesn't make any sense. When it's only both of us, I always feel tired. I could never used to this. Nisha on the other hand seems like she has met noisier children than her.

"Why don't you eat, Nisha?" Helena asks a question that she hasn't asked before.

We agreed to hide it from her. I'm alarmed that she's now suspecting this. This girl really has grown. I notice too that she's undeniably smart. She's good at counting, reading, and writing—overtaking kids who are years older than her. I'm proud, at the same time, worried. This growth, I feel, is too fast.

"It's because I ate the Fish of Eternity," says Nisha, obviously a lie. Helena buys it.

"Wow, what is that?"

"It's a fish that won't make you hungry again."

"Oh, that's why you don't get hungry. . ."

"That's right," Nisha says with a genuine smile.

After dinner, we put Helena to sleep. I don't know why but she always falls asleep at the dinner table. I think it's because she's full. I do feel tired when I'm full sometimes. Nisha's a good cook, after all, which is strange considering that she regards Daemon food as bad. We tuck her in bed and stay awake for a little longer talking at the table. We do this every night routinely, for five years.

"She's big now, huh?" she says right after swallowing my blood.

"Yeah, she is," I say, healing the bite marks on my wrist.

I don't want anybody to know. This is one of the villages which Carmilla abducted Daemons from, after all. No doubt that they'll deem Nisha hostile.

After that, I continue making the mirror.

"So, when will we depart?" she asks as she mops the floor.

"Right after I finish the mirror. I need to talk to Zaori about Helena's powers. This could be promising. Also, it's gonna be her birthday gift."

"I can't believe she's turning five tomorrow. Time sure takes off very fast."

"Yeah, it does."

She stops mopping and suddenly hugs me from behind. "Thank you," she whispers near my ear.

"For what?"

"For everything. I'm sorry that I haven't said this to you sooner."

What's with her so suddenly? Could it be, "Are you going to die or something?" She hits my head. "Ow!"

"That's not it, stupid." Still holding me, she says, "I just want to thank you and let you know that I've never been happier in my entire life. It was all because you existed in this world."

Those words flood me with a strange feeling. She's telling me that my mere existence changed her life. No one has ever said this to me before. It's as if I was longing to hear this from anyone. I never made anyone happy, not even myself. Why, only in this world, my life has value?

But another feeling is dwelling somewhere inside of me. It's like a "doubt" of some sort. A doubt that arises from the subsistence of my feelings and experiences in this world. I'm afraid to feel what I'm feeling because it might not be real.

She wipes my tear that I didn't notice until now. Then she kisses my cheek. "Now I feel more guilty for not telling you sooner," she says. "I didn't know that you needed to hear it that much. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be." *Clears throat* "I'll give it my all, Nisha. I will take us to the Edge of Shannia. That, I promise."

She holds me tighter and just now, I noticed that I've finished making the mirror. The aura around it is blue as it floats, meaning that it can now be used.

"It's done," I say.

"Good work," she says kissing the back of my head before letting go. "Join Helena on the bed now. I'll take care of the rest."

"Okay."

She does the remaining chores in the house while I lie down beside Helena. Looking at her sleeping fine relaxes me. I don't think it's because of the buff but it's something else I can't explain.

To think of it, it's quite ironic that there are things called "sleeping", "dinner", "tomorrow", "yesterday", and other day-related things. Because in this realm, it is always night. I tell the time looking at my UI. The others would need clocks.

After a few hours, I wake up. Nisha is there in the middle of the room, sitting on a chair while brushing her long white hair.

"Hello," she says. "you woke up early."

"I need to set it up now, after all."

"Want me to cook something for you?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

I get on with my work and think about Nisha. She's acting like a perfect wife. This all started when Helena came into our life. This is kinda weird. I even feel like we're husband and wife.

No, we're nothing like that. Stop seeing it like that. It's weird. Besides, what do I know about the perfect wife? I haven't even had a girlfriend before. Don't be dumb, me.

"Papa," says Helena, walking out of the bedroom door, and rubbing her eyes. She just woke up.

"Hello, Helena. Happy birthday." She stops looking like she's tired and smiles widely. "Say, how old are you now?"

"Five!" she yells.

"That's right. Good girl." I pat her head before lifting her and putting her on my lap to sit as we face the mirror on the desk. Nisha is behind us.

"Pretty!" she says, looking at the mirror.

"Yes, it is. Papa made it, after all."

"She means her reflection, dum-dum," Nisha chuckles.

"Oh!" I laugh, rubbing Helena's head. "Of course, you are! How could I miss that? You mischievous girl." I look at her reflection in the mirror for a moment before saying, "So, Helena, this is my birthday gift to you. With this, you're finally going to talk to your mother. Are you ready?"

"Mhmm!" she nods excitingly.

"Okay, here we go."