Chp.5: The right person

"Very interesting. If the information Misune has obtained is correct, then this Zamor is the person we are looking for"

Haku, as usual after receiving some information, was already processing what he knew and evaluating how to act from that moment on. At such moments he seemed to talk more to himself than to others, so Misune and Darbi sat in silence waiting for him to say something to them.

Darbi was a little embarrassed looking at the slave girl. In an entire day he had only managed to understand that Zamor must be someone respected among the gladiators, but nothing more. She, on the other hand, had obtained not only his name but numerous information about his character, behavior and thought. He had to admit that she had been better than him. "Well, congratulations" he said while Haku was thinking. "You really are a good liar. Not everyone can lie like that"

Misune blushed. "I'm not a liar! I only lied this once..."

"Ehy, mine was a compliment, not a criticism" Darbi hastily explained to her. "Lie by exploiting the weaknesses of others is useful for survival. If you knew how many times we've done it..."

"Uh... thanks" Misune replied, though it was clear from her gaze that she wasn't convinced at all. Seriously, what kind of twisted morality did that red lizardman have? It looked almost at the level of the dragon. It wasn't hard to understand why they got along so well. Darbi was perhaps more sociable and peaceful than Haku, but otherwise he could be asshole and sadist as much as him.

Haku suddenly let out a snort. "Something is wrong" he said. "Misune, you told me some time ago that according to rumors that lizardman is locked up because he was a gang leader and even seems to have plotted to assassinate the king, right?"

It took Misune a few seconds to understand what Haku was talking about, and then she remembered when some time ago he had asked her to point out someone who could describe the city to him, and she had told him about some gladiators including Zamor. She didn't expect Haku to remember that. "Well... yes, so they say"

"But that doesn't make sense. According to the information you've obtained, Zamor is supposed to be a pragmatic, intelligent and virtuous person. Why would he create a criminal gang? Or even worse, try to assassinate the king? It would be silly, and completely against his character" Haku pointed out.

Misune didn't know how to answer. "I... I only know what I've heard around..." she tried to justify herself.

But Haku shook his head. "I know, and I don't doubt that your information is correct. What's missing... is the middle part. And if I'm not mistaken... it will be what will allow us to convince him" he said, then giving her a half smile. "Congratulations, Misune. You may have identified not only the person we were looking for, but also what information we need to find out about him now"

Misune didn't understand much, but the dragon seemed satisfied and that was enough for her. At least she had shown him that she could be of use to him. And apparently she had managed to obtain an important piece for the success of the plan, even if she had no idea what it was.

In truth, the information she had obtained had been extremely valuable for Haku to figure out what to look for. An accurate description of Zamor's character had immediately highlighted the contrast with the reasons why he was a prisoner of the arena. Why would a charismatic, peaceful and virtuous person get involved in the criminal world or even attempt an assassination? It was illogical. Or rather, it would have been from the point of view of a narrow-minded person.

But Haku wasn't narrow-minded; he was looking at the big picture, not at individual moments. And he knew that, behind seemingly senseless behavior, there could be very clear motivations. That was how he had controlled Sarpa and made him a king. Perhaps Zamor had been blackmailed, as he had done with Sarpa; or perhaps there was another, deeper and more important reason. In any case, it was clear that this was the missing piece. If he found out what Zamor's motivation was, he could use it to get him to help them. If that reason had been able to turn a virtuous lizardman into a criminal, then surely it would have been able to turn an admired gladiator into his pawn.

"We have to find out why he acted the way he did. Let's find out, and we'll be in control of the situation" he said in the end. "Darbi, as soon as all the other gladiators have gone to sleep, hide in the bathrooms and contact the others. Tell them to investigate about this Zamor. I don't just want to know why he's in here, but why he committed those actions. Tell them to exploit their connections to organized crime if necessary"

Darbi nodded. "I will. Don't worry, with their abilities, I'm sure they'll find out in less than three days"

Misune still didn't understand who these 'others' were, or how Darbi managed to communicate with the outside world, but if Haku had told him to do it with such secrecy there must be a reason. At that point Haku turned to her: "Misune, I have to admit that you did a great job. Thank you" he said, even if he didn't seem to like those words.

Misune smiled. Despite the obvious hostility, Haku had recognized her worth, even if only partially. This boded her well for the future.

Darbi burst out laughing. "Ha ha, you finally admit it, brother! I told you we could use her help!" he said putting his right hand on the half-elf's shoulder in a friendly way, as if to give her an imaginary hug.

But at that moment it happened something that Darbi didn't expect in the slightest: in the istant he put his hand on her shoulder, the girl almost jumped and quickly walked away shaking violently as if she was having an epileptic seizure. Her hands ran to grip her clothes and a small scream came out of her mouth. When she turned to him, Darbi could see that the slave girl had an expression of pure panic painted on her face, and tears were flowing from her eyes. "N-No..." Misune whispered, but it didn't even sound like she was addressing him but more like she was talking to herself. "No... no... not again... not you too..."

"I-I didn't do anything!" Darbi exclaimed confused. "I just wanted being friendly! Maybe I put too much force? I'm sorry! I didn't mean..."

"Darbi, close your mouth for a moment, please" Haku said, then he grabbed Misune by the arm and brought her close to him so much that he almost crushed her on his scales. As he did it, the half-elf almost seemed to clutch at the dragon as if she were trying to climb up onto his body. Her panicked expression didn't fade, but she seemed to feel a little safer. Haku moved his right paw and put it in front of her, as if forming a shield, and finally the terror in her eyes began to slowly diminish.

Darbi watched that scene with concern. "Shit... what happened to her?" he asked. He knew the glare of trauma, he'd seen it many times in his siblings, especially in Rhaegal after their father had tried to kill them.

"I'll explain you later. Now don't say a word and get out of her field of vision, please" Haku replied. He didn't really know what he was doing: he had no idea how to handle a person having a panic attack. Therefore, he had done what little he thought might work. He knew Misune felt safe in his presence, so he brought her as close to him as possible. Otherwise, he didn't know what else to do but wait. He wasn't a… what had Darbi called it? Mind healer?

It took a while, but finally Misune's heart and breathing rate returned to normal. Slowly her grip on Haku's scales loosened, her eyes stopped watering and her panicked expression faded. Finally, she collapsed onto the dragon's side, and from her sweat it looked like she had just run ten kilometers without stopping. "I'm sorry" she whispered looking at Darbi. "I know you didn't want... to do anything... I... I'm sorry..."

"Hey, no need to apologize. It's okay" Darbi said trying to reassure her. "It was clearly my fault. I mean, look how ugly I am: it's obvious that anyone would run away from me, right? I won't touch you again without permission, if it makes you feel better"

Misune smiled slightly at Darbi's joke, and she was grateful to him for being so understanding. And she also felt a little guilty: it seemed unfair to have reacted that way to such a kind person. She turned her head slightly and looked at Haku: "Sir, I'll try not to do that again... I know your friend is..."

"Be calm, I know you can't control it. I'm not angry" Haku said. "Now get up. I have a task for you"

Misune complied immediately, as she used to. Her legs were still shaking, but she miraculously managed to stand up. "What do you want, sir?"

Haku pointed to a spot on the wall, where he had hung what looked like a lion skin. "Go there and practice throwing punches"

Misune didn't understand right away, then suddenly her eyes lit up. Had the dragon finally decided to teach her how to defend herself? Was her wish coming true? She promised herself to thank the gods every night before going to sleep for the rest of her life. "Should I just throw punches?"

"Yes, but not just any punch. You have to put your hand like this" Haku answered taking her hand and rotating it, placing the forearm upwards, and then pushing down the wrist. "Imagine you have something sharp stuck here. Now go and train"

Misune didn't understand the reason for that strange position: from her point of view a normal punch would have been more effective, but Haku was a more experienced fighter than her, so she had to have her reasons. So she went to the indicated spot and started training.

As soon as she was far enough away that she couldn't hear him anymore, Darbi sighed. "Damn. They told me that someone had abused her... but I didn't think it was such a traumatic thing"

To dragons, the concept of rape was almost unknown. Male dragons had no instinct to mate unless females called to them; only when they heard the call of a female was their instinct to reproduce reactivated. Similarly, the females went into heat only once every hundred years, and when they did, they called the males, who therefore only came if they wanted to reproduce too. In practice, non-consensual sexual intercourse was impossible among the dragons. They knew rape existed because they could see it happening among other species (almost all animals committed rape), but they were unable to realize what it really meant on a psychophysical level. And technically they didn't even care much, since it was a newcomes' thing. Even though Darbi knew the word, he'd never really understood what it meant… at least until now. "How long will she stay like this?"

Haku shook his head. "I'm not sure it will have an end. Newcomers don't have the same mental toughness as us dragons. Me, you and our siblings… we can ignore our traumas and go on living. But for them it's different. You can see it by watching the other slaves. No matter how much time passes, the marks of trauma are constantly imprinted on their faces" he replied, then he looked at Misune. "Same with her. I know it, it's not like with Rhaegal or with you or with all the others. We, after a few hours, were able to move on. She's not. Her body is here, but her mind it's still locked at that moment. And I have no idea how to unlock it"

Darbi let out a sigh. Even if the dragons possessed zero empathy, it was clear that his brother cared a little for the slave girl, even if he didn't say it openly, and perhaps he didn't even admit it to himself. "So, what do you want to do? Train her?"

"Of course not. Even if I knew how to do it, it would take months to turn her into a fighter, and we have less than a week" Haku replied. "But maybe, if I give her a way to defend herself, she'll be calmer... or at least I hope. I don't know, I don't understand anything about these things". With that said, he took something out of his dimensional bag. It was the sting of the wyrm with which Misune had killed Anur; there was still some blood stuck on it. "Come, help me. I'll need smaller fingers"

Darbi nodded and began to follow his brother's directions. As they worked, he decided to bring up the hot topic: "You know, we might not have just a week. She might..."

"Darbi, for fuck's sake, no. We've already talked about it. She'll be better off with her kind" Haku anticipated him. "We're not taking her with us. She'll have to leave as soon as we're out of here"

"Why? It's obvious that she feels safe with you. And it wouldn't change anything for us to take that girl with us. Why do you refuse to have this experience?" Darbi asked.

"Because it's not an experience, Darbi! It's just a fantasy!" Haku exclaimed. "There can be no friendship between dragons and newcomers. The only reason she's so friendly now is because she realized I can protect her. How do you think she saw me before? I was nothing but a monster for her. That's what we are for her kind, just monsters. They are close to us only when they are forced to or when they can obtain benefits from it, nothing more. Taking her with us would mean making her believe that she can stay with us forever, and this cannot happen. We would only doom her to a life in fear"

"It seems to me that she is already doomed to a life in fear" Darbi pointed out. "At least with us she will have less of it"

"No, Darbi. With us she'll just have a distraction" Haku replied. "I don't understand much about these things, but what I know for sure is that moving away from your species or your family because you are afraid of getting hurt isn't a way to heal from your trauma, it's just the illusion of being able to forget it. For her sake, she must remain among her people. I don't know if she'll ever get well, or if she'll ever be able to go on... but it'll still be better than coming with us and doing nothing about it. Because the more distracted you get, the more you try to ignore the problem, the more the moment you'll break will be worse. I learned this the hard way, and I don't want anyone else to learn it the same way"

Darbi remained silent. He knew that his brother was reliving unpleasant memories, and that at the moment it was best not to insist. So he went back to work in silence, and neither of them brought it up again.