Can I Not Feel Guilty For Loving Him?

“Hello, Rai. How are you?” I asked him as I placed a similar-looking red and white rose bouquet that I had brought for him the first time I went to see him.

“I’m here today to tell you something..” I started.

“Rai, I love you. You know that, right? But you are not here anymore. Your mom told me that it’ll be okay for me to be with Damian, but I don’t know if I deserve him. He asked me to go to Bali with him. What do you think, Rai? Can I go to Bali with him?” I stopped for a while, not really knowing what else to say.

“I know you wrote that I should be happy with him, but the guilt that I feel, Rai.. It’s not something that I can just shake off. You were sick, yet I added more to your pain. Tell me how to get rid of this guilt, Rai,” I whispered to his tombstone.