Episode 30

Ava's Point Of View,

I know that day by day I am acting like a bitch while he is trying to be gentle with me and trying to fix this. He is helping me so much, but what the hell does he think of himself?

He really thinks that I will forgive everything and accept him. What he really thinks I am, is he really thinks that I am some kind of robot and I will press one button and all my bad memories will go away. All my pain will vanish. I will forget everything and I will forgive him and we will be happy together forever. Gosh, what the hell should I do? I am just kind of unbelievable too.

This is the second time I ended up in his place. How could I be so stupid? I do not understand this. It is crazy. He could have taken advantage of me. But he did not do that. I know him so well. He will not even touch me without my permission. I do not doubt his sanity. I know him so well. It is just four years, not a short time.

I know that I cried for him every single day, there was not a single day when I did not think about him. When I did not cry for him, for once, I thought that I would not even see him again in this life. He disappeared like he never existed in my life. and now when he is back, he wants to continue. That he left, is not fucking possible. My heart is not ready to forgive him, my heart is not ready to accept it.

I need some time, I need a lot of time to think about it and no one can decide it for me. My mom does not even know that he is back. I just do not know how she will react when she will know about him. and more than that what will happen when she will know that I already slept with him again? She is gonna kill me for sure, but for now, I am not gonna tell her anything about him. Oh gosh, it sucks.

I just dismissed all my thoughts and took a deep breath. Right now, all I can think about is my baby boy who is waiting for me. I already fed him his favorite pastries and cookies in the morning, so there is no way that I can get them again. I should not feed him such things daily. It could be bad for his health, so I just bought a lot of balloons for him and took a cab home, and I was kind of excited about seeing him. I always feel that way. I mean, he is the real reason for my happiness. He is the real reason that I was able to overcome all this pain.

I just do not know what the hell I would have done if I did not have him. He is the light in my dark life and I can never forget the day when he was born. When I took him in my arms for the first time. That feeling was something I would never be able to describe in words. That was magical. I was still thinking about him and I did not realize it when I arrived. I paid for the cab and walked out.

I do not like people here much. They asked me a lot of questions about Luke and who his dad is and why I am not with him. Honestly, I do not like such people who always put their noses in others' business. I hate such people, so I quickly made my way to my home and pressed the bell. My mom opened the door for me. She was glaring at me again but smiled softly when she saw the balloons in my hands. I thought my baby would be upset and cry when seeing me, but there was a different story.

I walked towards my room and I heard his cute laugh. He was laughing his heart out and I quickly made my way to my room to see why he was laughing so much. I removed my shoes from my room and opened the door of my room and put all the balloons out of the room. As I walked in, they both just got quiet when they saw me.

"Mumma, where were you? I missed you so much", my baby called me and jumped down to the bed and came to me running and his big, cute smile made me smile too. I always forget all my pain when I see his cute smile.

"My baby, Mumma is really sorry, Mumma was doing some work, but see, now Mumma is back and Mumma brought something for my baby", I said and I saw how he got excited about seeing what I brought for him.

"What did you bring for me Mumma, show me", he asked me in his cute baby voice and I slowly put him down and walked out and took all the balloons and walked in, his eyes got wider and his eyes started shining when he saw those balloons.

"Wow mum, you are the best Mumma, you brought balloons for me, yeah", he got so happy and my heart was feeling so happy to see my baby happy. He started playing with those balloons and I put my bag on the table and kept looking at his cute face.