| Going Insane

𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀

My tears threatened to escape, and I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep myself from crying. 

    "What did he do to you, Vanessa?" I heard Antonio ask softly, his eyes wide with concern. 

    I couldn't look at him, so I let my gaze drop to the ground beneath my feet and wrapped my arms around my chest. I knew what he had to be thinking, and it was nothing like that. It was worse. For three years, I carried this burden, knowing my mistake would one day come out in the open. And here I was, unable to keep my secret any longer. 

    Antonio moved closer. "Vanessa did he—" 

    "No," I interrupted him. "No, he didn't." I still couldn't look at him. The guilt was too much, tearing at my soul. Admitting this to Antonio was almost as bad as it would be admitting it to my father. 

    "Then what did he do?" 

    Finally, I gathered the courage to look up and glanced between Daniel and Antonio. A tear slipped down my cheek, and I took a deep breath. 

    "Enzo didn't do anything to me that I didn't want him to." 

    And then the dam broke. Tears stormed relentlessly down my face, and my chest started to close in, growing tighter, making it almost impossible to breathe. 

    I can't do this. I can't face this. Not now. 

    I darted toward the car and pushed Daniel out of the way when he tried to reach for me. I was in the car and reversing out of the driveway so fast, that neither Antonio nor Daniel had any time to stop me. 

    While I sped down the streets, I wiped at my face as tears kept on coming. I couldn't remember the last time I cried this hard.  

    Oh, wait. Yes, I can. New Year's Eve, three years ago, when I realized I was exactly what Enzo called me—a little lamb. A little lamb who trusted everyone, who followed anyone willing to lead. A little lamb who didn't know any better, naïve and weak. A little lamb who would follow the devil to the slaughterhouse because maybe, just maybe the world wasn't so fucked up, and there might be something good waiting behind the door you were about to walk through. And once you walked through that door, realizing you'd been tricked, you didn't fight for survival. You just lay down and stared at the knife that was about to slice through your throat and let your soul bleed out of you within a matter of seconds. 

    That's me, Vanessa Bologna …the little lamb.

*****

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒

It had been hours since I sent her my address.  

    What the hell was I thinking? Oh, right…I wasn't. My raging hard-on had completely ruined my ability to think like a fucking adult. All I could think about was giving my cock what it wanted. Her.  

    She had read my message. Her little face icon was there right next to my message. But she didn't reply—which was probably for the best. 

    For whom? My dick would ask. 

    For everyone, you fucking huge piece of flesh that tends to make me act like a fucking caveman! 

    Oh, my God, I was losing my mind. 

    I gulped down my entire beer and slammed it on the counter, the frustration getting the better of me. Even though there were a hundred reasons for me to stay the hell away from her, to forget her, I only had one reason not to…because I didn't want to. I didn't want to stay away from her. I didn't want to forget about her.

    And even after seeing the threat in Enzo's face, I still didn't give a fuck. Why did it feel like I would happily go through the devil if it meant I could have her? That thought alone was proof enough that I was insane. 

    I glanced at my watch and saw it was almost one a.m. I let out a breath, trying to push the images of her out of my head, then glanced down the hall, thinking tonight might be a good night to try to sleep in my bed for a change. 

    Just as I started toward the bedroom, there was a faint knock on the door. My heart and my cock reacted simultaneously. My heart, because who would be knocking on my door at one in the morning? And my cock, because…it might be her. 

    I walked slowly to the door, my instincts sending me into automatic stealth mode, thinking this might be the threat Enzo promised by staring at me with his freaky fucking eyes. The best part? I didn't even have my gun. That son of a bitch commander asshole took my gun and badge, and now all I had to defend myself with were my fast-flying fists, hard as fuck thighs, and my boyish good looks. Super.  

    I braced my hands on both sides of the door and leaned forward to look through the peephole, my heart jackhammering like crazy inside my chest.  

    Motherfucker. 

    I flicked the latch and unlocked the door, flinging it open. "Vanessa?" 

    She glanced up, her clothes and hair dripping wet. It looked like she decided to take a hike in the goddamn rain. But, by God, she never looked hotter. 

    "James." With pleading eyes, she stared at me, and the animal in me reacted.  

    I grabbed her arm and pulled her inside before slamming the door shut and pinning her against it. Dark, deep-set eyes stared up at me, and I saw the hunger swirl around in those chocolate irises. They were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, and they made me want to lose all control.  

    "What are you doing here?" 

    "You invited me." 

    "You didn't reply to my message. I didn't think you'd come." My gaze flitted from her eyes to her mouth, her lips glistening with temptation. 

    "I wasn't planning on coming." 

    "What changed your mind?" 

    She lifted her chin, and our gazes locked. "I decided I wanted to finish what we started." And that was the moment I lost control, slamming my lips onto hers.  

    The second our mouths collided, we moaned in unison as electricity shot between us like lightning bolts of desire and passion. Her lips were cold, yet her mouth warm, tasting like mint and tequila. I had no idea what was happening; all I knew was I didn't want it to stop.