Bitter memories

This girl brought back many bitter memories from my past.

She shouldn't have done that.

I hate that girl !

I am never gonna forgive her, no matter what she does or what she says, I won't ever forgive her.

She have no right to say anything about my parents or my family.

She shouldn't have messed with me.

I have worked very hard to forget those bitter, biting, and almost forgotten memories.

I will have to fight again with those for a very long time.

And don't think I could ever forget those ever now, considering her harsh words !

What is that girl made up of ?

Her own father didn't helped her out from his stepson and she is saving his ass !

How could anyone be this dumb ?

We don't have to save anyone's ass instead of ours.

Let it be, I don't care about her !

How stupid could someone be ?

She should made them go behind the bars, but she ?

Huh, let it be. I don't care about her !

She shouldn't let Michael escape and she should listen to Derek's idea.

But, let it be. I don't care about her.

What's wrong with me ?

Why am I not angry with her to an unimaginable extent ?

She have said such mean and harsh words.

Words which I never wanted to listen ever again. Words which renewed my pain and brought back the bitter memories which I have spent half of my life forgetting !

I should be mad at her at a very high level, but what am I thinking ?

About her safety ?

About her well-being ?

About the evil things happened with her ?

Why would I think about them, instead of being mad at her ?

No doubt I am feeling pity for myself for I'll have to spend much time in forgetting about them, but still it doesn't make me to hold rage against her or be mad at her or scolding her or insulting her !

Why, god ?

Why ?

If it was anyone from the guys, I would have broke their jaw by now.

But just because it's her, I am not even able to make myself angry at her !

Yes, I am hurt, I don't want to go again in that horrible phase of trying to forget about my past; yet even that isn't making me go all animalistic on her !

What's happening to me ?

This isn't me !

It isn't the case that, I have never been mad at girls before !

I have been supreme mad at many girls, considering that they weren't even the criminals !

Then what's special about her ?

What is not letting me be angry with her even a bit ?

Is Derek right ?

Have I started to like her ?

Have I entered in their stupid competition ?

Noooooo !

Shut the fuck up, Cole !

Why are you even thinking like this ?

How could you ?

No !

Ofcourse, you aren't in the competition.

She is a child, you are a beast !

This can't happen, you'd hurt her.

Hurt her feelings !

Ugh...

For god's sake Cole, shut up !

She have hurted your feelings, you should may be concentrate on it for now !

You are worried about, you could hurt her feelings in future; what about your feelings which she have hurted at present ?

You...

" Cole !

Cole. Stop.

Let me come with you.

Please, slow down, dude.

I can't match your pace ! "

Dominic said yelling from behind.

What is Dominic doing here ?

Shouldn't he be with her right now ?

What if something happens to her ?

He is such an ass...

Oh, ok.

Yeah, right.

Be strong, Cole.

Be strong.

You can !

You can't let your face and brain reveal the thoughts infront of him.

If he'll know he'll tell that to everyone.

And my image of being a heartless beast would be destroyed in seconds !

I never want that to happen.

" I didn't asked you to join me ! "

I said without any emotions.

" Please, Cole. Stop.

Don't be mad.

I know she have done a terrible job but Cole, she is in trauma.

Her brain is secreting more and more adrenaline and she is... "

Dominic said trying to explain her situation to me.

" Fuck off, Dominic !

I am not in the mood of learning your medical science rightnow.

I am already mad so please, don't get on my nerves.

Leave me alone.

I really don't want to talk to anyone about anything.

So just leave.

Right now ! "

I said coldly.

" I know Cole, you are mad right now.

But please don't do anything stupid, please.

I mean when, you are mad you do so many stupid things.

She is stupid to say those things; but she don't know anything about us and she was mad too, so she blabbered some shit.

I won't say forgive her, but please don't hurt yourself because of that dumbass.

Are you getting... "

Dominic said bad about her to make me feel better.

If it was someone else, it would have worked, but I don't want him to say bad about her !

" I said, fuck off !

I know she is very stupid.

And I won't forgive her even if you say so.

Forget about you, I am not gonna forgive her even if she dropped to her knees in front of me !

She don't know what had she done.

She'll have to pay for that.

And I am planning on it.

I'll make her cry.

I'll make her feel the pain which I am feeling right now !

I won't let her off hook easily.

And now for the last time,

FUCK OFF DOMINIC !

I really don't wanna insult you as well. "

I said seriously.

And I mean it.

" Ok. I'll leave.

But promise me one thing, that you won't do anything stupid. "

Dominic said.

" Are you trying to be my Mom, Dominic ? Because if you are keep in mind one thing, I don't love my Mom and I... "

I was getting super mad now at his behaviour.

" I am out of here.

My patients are waiting for me.

Have a good day, Cole.

And we'll be waiting for you for dinner.

So, see ya. "

Dominic said cutting me off and didn't let me finish what was I gonna say.

And thank god he did !

Because I was saying all those things to pretend to be mad, but the mention of my mom ignite the flame a bit.

He left.

That was close.

I hope I pretended well of being mad because if, he told the guys otherwise, my image would be in danger !

Now that, I have told Dominic that I would hurt her, I must do something to pretend to be mad at her.

I mustn't ask them about her.

I mustn't ask them to take care of her.

Fuck it.

I won't talk to them at all, simple !

If I won't speak at all, I won't have to fight for controlling my words and my emotions and pretend to be mad at her !

Yes, that's called a great idea.

But I need to be very strong while hurting her and have to hurt her in some ways, otherwise nobody would believe me !

And I can't let my hard walls down.

I should be eveready, nobody should catch me off-guard !