Coldness is gonna make me regret

We went to Dominic in the evening and met him there.

We told him everything about Ashley.

And the satisfaction and happiness of knowing that she is innocent was clear on his face.

Then, he was getting very eager to meet her, just like me.

But how should I ask them to go to her ?

And Derek didn't let me ask that.

" Now that it's proved that she is innocent, so let's go and meet her ?

What do you guys say ? "

Derek said raising his eyebrows.

" Yes, you are right.

We must meet her, she is asking for me since morning.

And I am dying to meet her.

Let's go, Cole. "

Dominic said.

" You guys carry on.

I am not coming. "

I said pretending not to care.

I can't just agree to that.

What would they think of me ?

No I can't go just like that.

I hope Dominic would act stubborn and take me with him.

" Come on Cole, don't be so hard on her.

She didn't do it on purpose, dude !

Come on, let's go.

She asks for you everyday.

And you too feel guilty for hitting her, so just meet her at least once, Cole.

Please. "

Dominic said putting his hand on my shoulder.

" But I... "

I denied once again.

" No but's and no if's.

You'll have to come with us ! "

Derek said concluding.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me along with him.

God bless them, they didn't left me there alone.

Oh god, my attitude is gonna make me regret about something real soon !

I feel so attracted towards her like I have never felt for anyone else before.

She have something in her.

Something about her innocence, her smile, her eyes, her voice, her body !

All of her pulles me towards her as if, she is some kind of magnet and I am iron piece.

I get pulled towards her helplessly !

Like, I can't be myself and can't restrain my heart from beating for her nor can I control myself from getting pulled towards her !

I am not less eager than Dominic to meet her.

We approached towards her.

My heart started beating faster just at the thought of meeting her and seeing her beautiful face !

Even my breathing became high and shallow.

I kept quiet, I don't want to get them suspicious about me.

We meet her.

She was happy to see me.

But my cold insensitive ass didn't gave her even a small smile; even when I was dying for it !

Dominic was to give her a shot of her drug and she was afraid of the syringe.

She grabbed my hand while he gave her the shot.

As she grabbed my hand in her's, my beating heart started racing like hell.

And I could feel her body getting heat up and her hand started shaking; I am not sure with fear of the syringe or with excitement ?

But her breathing also became high, just like mine !

And I could feel her eyes fixed on me.

She wasn't getting her eyes off me and I didn't even wanted her to, ever !

It was feeling so nice and warm to have her so close to me, her hand in mine, her eyes on me !

I started caressing her hand lovingly and softly and I am sure her shivers were out of excitement.

I was enjoying my moment way too much with her so close to me.

But these guys didn't find it acceptable and Derek coughed and asked Dominic to let us be alone together.

I can't do that !

I unwillingly started leaving when, Ashley grabbed my hand and pleaded me to stop, that she wants to talk to me.

I was very excited to be with her alone but; my stubborn ass !

I couldn't stop there just like that.

So I denied to do that.

But the guys made me stay there.

As excited and happy I was to be with her alone for sometime, I was scared to think about what she had to tell me.

Derek and Dominic left the room.

I couldn't look into her eyes while she would apologise to me.

I couldn't face her that sorry and innocent face and pretend to be cold and hard on her.

So turned my back on her.

I was getting very eager to listen what she had for me.

And it was making my heart of rock.

She wasn't speaking and was tasting my patience. I couldn't take it and turned so fast that, when I faced her, our faces were so close, I could practically feel her breaths on my lips !

Our hearts were beating so fast and loud, I could hear her heartbeats and I am sure she could hear mine too.

She was apologising me and telling me again and again that, she didn't did anything on purpose. She was sorry.

But again, my stubborn ass didn't melt at her words.

She was crying and it was very tempting to reach out and wipe her tears and kiss her lips.

But my pretending to be cold was superior to her tears for me !

I haven't felt so helpless ever.

I strongly wanted to let my wall of coldness fall and crush her into my arms and never let her go.

Oh my god !

I am becoming very weak because of this girl.

It isn't the first time I was being rude to some girl.

I know I am cold and it isn't new for me !

It never made me feel guilty before.

But today ?

Today when I was being cold with her, my heart was bleeding and cursing me for being so cold to her.

For the first time in my life, I was feeling guilty to be cold to someone.

I left that poor girl alone and crying.

Her tears melted my heart but I didn't went with the flow and decided to hurt my kitten so much.

I am sure, she won't ever want to see my face in her whole life !

And my heart hurts to think that, my kitten is gonna hate me life time !

I want to be with her, love her, pamper her, spoil her, take care of her, caresse her, kiss her and...

Make love to her !

But, now ?

Now she will hate me, she won't let me get even close to her.

For a second thought, would she have broken my heart if, I had loved her ?

I don't think so.

She is so innocent and I saw that in her eyes.

She shivered at my touch and her heart beated faster with my touch, she almost closed her eyes in anticipation when she thought I was gonna kiss her lips !

Thinking about it, I went to cafeteria where Derek and Dominic were waiting for me.

As usual Derek craked stupid joke and my glare made him shut his mouth.

After sometime Jules and Lauren came to us after meeting her and told them that, I broke my kitten's heart and made her cry.

They all accused me and all.

And I had a superb come back that...

I AM COLD SINCE FOREVER !

We told them about our doubt at her and then everybody started accusing Derek for not telling them earlier about it.

They were accusing him for false charges and I couldn't take it.

I told them about his intentions.

He got upset with their accusations and left the cafeteria.

I knew he would listen to our chat.

I took him home and on our way back he grabbed so much of unhealthy food.

He always does it.

He have a habit of overeating when he is upset or sad or hurt or depressed.

We went home and the guys tried to apologise him.

Lauren and Derek are impossible !

We all decided to go out for dinner rather than ordering it at home.

Derek was already full so he didn't came with us.

And as I expected, he started his search operation for Rachel.

I hope she is alive and safe.

And I also hope he finds her and brings her back to Ashley !