Fear of the unknown
I will bloody kill Dominic !
He didn't even checked if, I was unconscious or not and directly pulled the largest piece just like that.
I couldn't react visibly; for them !
But I felt the pain !
And it fucking hurted as hell.
I couldn't shout or even push him away.
But my body shivered vigorously and he stopped ! Thank god, he understood that, I wasn't unconscious and my reflexes only slowed down to a large extent, due to the massive blood loss.
He injected something, may be it's Anesthesia. And I hope it works fast because I won't lie to myself, fuck it hurts and I badly wanna cry !
I could still hear them talking.
He left me there and went to treat Ash.
That stupid girl thinks she is responsible for this ! How silly she is !
Yup, it hurts but I don't blame her for this.
If it wasn't for me, she would be at my place right now and I won't be able to stand it.
Thank god she wasn't at my place.
It is hurting me so much and wanting ME to cry out in pain then, how her delicate body would have taken it ?
She wouldn't have been be able to bear it.
She just have recovered from the accident and the fracture, she don't deserve anymore pain !
Cole yelled at her !
How dare he ?
I know he is mad but, yelling at her won't yield anything.
She didn't do anything.
She thinks she is responsible for my condition and want to be with me and that's natural human instinct, no one can blame her for that !
He yells and scolds us, isn't THAT enough for him that he wants to do that to her too ?
She is innocent and doesn't deserve it.
Ok, the boys are lifting me up and oh fuck !
Oh fuck !
Bloody bastards !
Dominic told them not to touch my right side and not to wrap the strap around me, but what are they doing ?
It fucking hurts !
And...
Oh... My senses !
My senses are fading...
Am I...
Oh it must be the Anesthesia.
Thank god, I can't...
Feel... The... Pai...
Fuck, It's so bright !
Though, my eyes are closed yet it hurt my eyes !
What... Crap !
Why did I had to turn on my hurted side ?
Fuck it hurts, it hurts !
Oh god, someone turn me around , please... Please...
And wow, still my flexes are slow ?
Or is it...
" What the hell ?
The effect of Anesthesia haven't faded yet and how could you turn on your own ? "
Dominic said surprised.
He turned me around.
Thank god he came to help me.
Oh... What a relief !
And what ?
It's Anesthesia ?
Does that means, my reflexes are normal now ?
Thank god, I thought my reflexes are going to be slow forever due the blood loss and won't be normal ever again.
I could hear everything around me but just couldn't move !
It'll be over soon and I would do everything like earlier.
How is she ?
Is she safe ?
Did she lost much of her blood ?
I hope not.
I don't want her to be in the situation I am right now...
Something is wrong, something is very wrong ! Why do I even care about her ?
I haven't felt this concerned about even Derek ! He is my best buddy and I haven't been this worried about him, like never !
I haven't been this concerned and worried about any girl ever before.
I didn't even cared if, any girl is in pain or is uncomfortable while fucking her.
I didn't cared how loud or pleadingly she begged me to stop as, she wasn't comfortable or that I was hurting her !
I didn't even looked at her face while taking her.
I always prefer to take them from behind so that, I won't need to see their face and feel guilty for hurting them.
I grab their hands and lock on their back so that, no one touches me, kisses me, grasps me and no hugging !
Not even one, at any cost !
And I don't even stop if, the girl is not ready for me !
If I am ready, I enter her.
No matter how loudly she screams how hard she begs me to arouse her, get her ready and then she is all mine !
But I haven't touched anyone among the girls I've fucked till date.
They must get theirselves ready for me.
I would just jump on the bed, flip them on the tummy, lock their hands on their back and start pounding them just to satisfy my hunger.
No matter how sensitive they get after their first orgasm, until I reach my orgasm they aren't given the leave !
But with her ?
I feel like, pulling her into my arms and hugging her.
Wisper naughty words in her ear.
Lick and kiss and suck on her ear lobe.
Nibble on her neck and kiss it.
Leave my marks all over her body.
Kiss every inch of her body.
Kiss her breathless and mindless.
Kiss her privates and lick her till she is ready for me.
And then, enter her ever so slowly and stopping when she winces in pain or in discomfort.
Getting her so much ready for me and lick her so much that, she begs for me to make her mine !
I don't want to fuck her, I want to make love to her.
Slowly, lovingly, passionately and kissing her while moving in and out of her.
I want her on her back so that, I could capture her beautiful reactions as she gasps at my sudden touch.
Close her eyes as I lick and suck her down there.
Arching her back as enter her.
Grasping my hair and pulling me into her more and more.
I haven't felt like this for anyone else.
I don't like anyone touching me.
Nor do I like touching anyone.
But I want her to touch me and I want to touch each and every part of her body.
Own all of her body.
Own all of her openings.
Kissing her good night and good morning.
Cook breakfast for her and have it with her.
Share all of my dirty and darkest secrets with her. Tell her that I had been with a guy too !
I love having girls and Charles too in my bed !
I've told Jules that, I've only kissed Charles but that's not the complete truth !
I liked him.
And after Matthew went, we had few drinks and then, he asked me to come to his place and I went with him willingly.
I knew he was gay.
I knew he was hitting on me.
I saw lust in his eyes for me and yet I went him !
I wanted to try that thing.
I wanted to know how it feels with a guy.
I have had many girls in my bed, beneath me and infront of me, but guys have always fascinated me !
And I wanted to try the gay sex once.
Charles was the opportunity which knocked at my door on his own and I would have been stupid to reject the sex god himself !
I decided to let him do whatever the fuck he wanted to do with me.
I'll bear the pain, no matter how much it would be.
I'd get drunk and then ask him to do what he wanted.
He was my first !
And as a virgin in the gay world, my biggest disappointment was...
He was the sleeping partner !
He wasn't into fucking someone, but he was the guy who wants to get fucked by someone else !
Virgin and the active partner, I told him that.
But he said, that's why he isn't going to fuck me and let me fuck him because, he thought I won't be able to take the pain !
He taught me how to do it.
I thought I've fucked so many girls, it'll be the same.
But he said, no !
There's a lot of difference between the two things !
I never had an anal sex before and according to him if I had, I would have known the difference. He promised to guide me throughout the process.
He took my clothes off and admired my body.
He kissed me on my lips and as usual, I didn't liked it and I turned him down !
He still haven't kissed me after that.
What ?
STILL shocked you ?
Yes, I still fuck him once in a while.
He is the best partner I ever had.
He is obedient and listens to me like a good whore !
And according to him, I have a dominating side and that's why, I don't let anyone take the lead nor let them do whatever they want.
Both with girls and with him !
He sucked me good and got me ready.
I have never been that hard with any girl ever and don't get even yet with the girls !
We used lube as it was my first time.
And it really helped me.
When I entered him, as usual I tried to go suddenly and the whole length all at once; but I couldn't !
He was very tight, it hurted me !
I tried again and again and again and finally I thought about giving up.
But he stopped me and helped me entering him and I got inside him.
And oh boy, that's a completely different experience !
I've never felt that satisfied with any of the girls. With not even the virgin ones !
Only HE is the one who tells me do something or asks me to let him do and I never deny him.
He is so wonderful !
But the day Ashley came into my life, I haven't seen him.
Nor have I got any girl in my bed !
And not only me, but even Derek haven't got anyone home and same goes with Dominic.
And Jules and Cole weren't in the move at the first place so, they haven't changed anything.
Except for Cole !
He have woke some of the emotions; which he expresses sometimes without even realising it.
And Jules; I think found the girl he always wanted !
Someone he could share secrets with, and have the eternal love with.
I am afraid now !
Jules is an angel !
He haven't been in the flirty world.
He haven't slept with a new girl every night.
He is so understanding and kind and sober man.
Dominic too isn't a so called womanizer, as me and Derek.
And I mustn't forget Cole !
He have been rude and a complete ass towards her but, now ?
Now, he gets angry if, something happens to her.
He have started caring about her.
His behaviour have changed so much that, it is visible to even a blind person; then she is a woman with a beautiful pair of eyes !
And it's an unwritten fact that, women love and crave a man who is an ass to them in the beginning and then melts like butter for them.
And though, he have been an ass to her; she isn't mad at him at all !
Infact, she wants an acceptance of her apology for what she said to him !
And the way she looks at him; she doesn't care if he treats her badly, she isn't going to give up on him !
And he is even a virgin may be !
I haven't seen him with any girl ever, from the time I know him.
I am horrified by the thought, but I guess I am falling for her !
Me !
The insensitive guy.
The one who doesn't like to share my bed with anyone, wants to have her in my bed.
The one who doesn't like to have anything else than me in my bed in the morning, want to wake up next to her sleeping in my arms.
The one who doesn't want to touch the girl I fucked a few moments ago, want to hold her close to my heart, kiss her passionate and cuddle with her and go to sleep !
This is something very horrible !
And the more horrible thing is what if, I am really falling for her and tell her that and then she refuses to be with me ?
And from the behaviour of everyone in the house, I think everyone is falling for her !
The question is, who'll she chose among us ?
Me ?
Someone else ?
None of us ?