ch 19

Cough cough soon she was awake. She is feeling cold and extremely uncomfortable and in extreme pain.

she opened the phone and smiled it was the news of his engagement to her step-sister, she already decided to forget him but after years of love when you never felt it, made it impossible 'maybe death will make me able to get out of these chains of the past' then She got up from the bed and holding the phone.

she went to the window and open the curtains later open the window so the cold wind hits her already cold face.

she looked down to the street from the window " if I jumped will everything ends, will this nightmare ends, can I wake up from this nightmare to the time before I met him, i will be released from this damn heartache"

looking around the totally dark room and she was alone in it " I'm going to die soon. Why can't I have at this someone with me? Why do I have to be a lot? It's dying alone painless to others" she got up and stood at the edge of the window then for that she felt her phone vibrates.

she pick it up and said in a hoarse voice "hello?" " zhu lu it is me He-shi" " hi?" "Are you fine?" " yeah?" then she felt the door open, and she remembered that she gave the key she got from Yun to He shi so that if something happens he will be able to enter, that was his request, not hers.

then the door opened, and he shi came in and saw standing at the edge of the window, this scene nearly made him have a heart attack, he is feeling his trembling hand " zhu lu please got down"

she smiled and got down, seeing this, he shi ran over, and carry her up which made her stiff in his hands since she never experience being carried and he took her to the bed and made her lay on it.

he touched her forehead and felt it. it is very cold then touched her neck, and it was burning up

he glares at her " you are having fever and you dare to stand in front of the window"

he got up and closed the curtains and he heard " why do I care, I am going to die"

" tsk can you stop that depression cycle of yours, you are going to stay at my place for a few days"

" why?? "

" Since you, depression jar can't take care of herself"

" you are male and I am a female and we are staying alone together?"

" huh? like hell I will a sick depression jar"

" mmm"

" also aren't we best friends from medical school days so why do you care, you must be pleased to have a free nanny"

" hahahaha thanks to Mr. He shi being my nanny"

seeing her finally smile and break from that moment, made him feel relieved since he know that if she stayed for more seconds here she will break down totally and commit suicide, he already doesn't have the thought of her ever leaving so he will try to have some memories that he could save and has no regret.

he shi look at her, her eyes becoming empty day after another, like a wilt flower that waiting for the day to break down, he know her since high school and he isn't blind, he can notice her deep love for that bastard then he heard that she is going to medical school and he was able to meet her and at least became best friends, he still remembers her being always happy and alive no matter how much she suffers from her family but now things are affecting her, she is slowly losing herself and becoming totally empty and depressed, even when she smiled, you can see that she isn't feeling the happiness.

he is worried that she will soon commit suicide and he is sure that she never took any medication or signed up for the surgery to at least make her live for a few months even though he knows the probabilities are very low, he still convinces himself that she will not leave him.

" zhu lu, change up and we are going to leave"

" no need"

" do you want to be alone in this room,... I guess no so why not we leave and have fun"

" fun??"

" yeah, why not spend the time, doing stuff you want to do, like traveling, seeing the beautiful places, so?"

" mmm I guess, why not? "

" yeah let's go"

he shi said excitedly with a being smile, like a child that got candy and he left

seeing him like this, made zhu lu bite her lip, she isn't blind anymore, and now she is totally sure that he liked her but she couldn't like him or anyone anymore and can only hurt him but she want to be selfish for once and experience being spoiled and loved and have some beautiful memories before she dies.

" sigh, I guess it is time to let go "

she took the ring and put it on the bedside desk and collect her clothes and put them in a bag, then closed the door and left.

she got down the stairs and saw him standing near the car. he took his coat and scarf and put them on her. " it is cold you stupid cat, wear something"

" thanks" she smiled at him.

seeing him like this made her remember her relationship with Yun and notice the small details.

In high school, he confess to her and stayed convincing her for a year until she opened her heart and trusted him, but what she got is that heart being stabbed by him slowly every day for years but still never left him.

she was worried about the pain and didn't notice the small pain she is feeling every day slowly, breaking up slowly has more catastrophic results.

then she felt a touch on her forehead " are you fine"

" mmm yeah"

" how depression jar smile a little, we are going to have fun so take out that depression of yours and be a h-a-p-p-y jar"

" you know you are being stupid like this "

" yeah totally"

he opened the car door for her then went to the other side and got in.

" you are quite honest"

the got up and put on the seatbelt

"I didn't know if it is a compliment or an insult"

" hahaha why not both, so where are we going"

" to my place"

" huh? "

" to take care of some crazy person who has a fever and doesn't know how to take care of herself"

" ohh"

" don't even think of going to the hospital, I took a sick leave for you and the director will resign you after few days after he discovered your state"

" mmm so I am in your car so I can only go where you are going too"

" yeah and don't worry my place is big"

" mmm"

"it is better to leave this place, with these memories and make beautiful ones"

" Indeed"

" zhu lu you look beautiful when you smile so stay smiling "

" hahahaha thanks, I will"

" so you promise me to be happy and be selfish when it comes to your happiness"

" mmm yeah I promise"

" Good, this is a very great promise so you can't break it or forget about it"

" hahahaha yes boss I will"

" you.. " then he put his hand on her head and pat her.

" hahahaha "

" sleep I know you are tired and sick so rest"

" mmm thank you He Shi"

he looked at her deeply sleeping

' you stupid always trusting and kind to others even who are bad to you..... so I wish you change and care about yourself before others

then he drove back to his place.