Chapter 10: Decision & Changes
After about 30 minutes we arrive at our stop.
Kyoko has been silent the entire time.
She must feel really guilty for what happened earlier, even though it wasn't even her fault.
"Kyoko, this is our stop."
"Mm"
I grab Kyoko's hand and squeeze it, but she doesn't return my grip. Instead, she walks out onto the platform dejectedly with her head downcast.
I hate seeing her like this.
Especially since she's always shining so brightly and full of energy.
We continue silently walking for a few more minutes before reaching our destination.
"We're here, Kyoko."
"…"
She slowly raises her head.
"Ah.."
A bit of life returns to her eyes as she sees where I've taken her.
"Castle… Park?"
"Yup, it's where we had our first date. Do you remember?"
"Of course I do. I'm the one that took you here, silly..."
"Haha, I suppose that is true."
That's good.
She's at least smiling a bit now.
I take out my cell phone and check the time. 6:02 pm.
Alright, it should start any minute now.
I should hurry.
"This way Kyoko!"
I grab her hand once more and start running.
"W-Wait a minute! Where are we going?"
"You'll see when we get there!"
We stop running after a couple of minutes.
I notice a bench under the sakura trees and suggest we sit down there.
(Huff Huff)
"Jeez, why were you in such a hurry, Akira-kun?"
"Just look and you'll see for yourself," I say as I point forward toward the scene I wanted to see together with her.
In front of us, there's a vivid view of the sunset being reflected in the lake.
"This is what I wanted you to see. Remember you said you regret not being able to watch the sunset when we first came here?"
"You… actually remembered something from so long ago?"
"Of course I did."
Actually, I didn't remember until earlier today, but some things are better left unsaid…
"It's so beautiful…"
Kyoko's spirit has fully returned and she's now watching the gorgeous scenery in awe.
Right now we're surrounded by such a breathtaking environment. Flourished sakura trees around us, a crystal clear lake, and a mesmerizing sunset. A gorgeous scene that you wouldn't be able to forget even if you tried to.
But none of that matters.
Because right now.
At this very moment.
In my eyes.
The most beautiful thing.
The thing that I can't take my eyes off of.
Is the girl sitting right here beside me.
Her sky blue eyes that are sparkling in excitement, her silky pink hair that blend in with the Sakura trees, and most importantly, her expression. A gentle expression filled with love and kindness. An expression that warms my heart and gives me butterflies in my stomach. Looking at her like this. I realize that I truly do love this girl from the bottom of my heart.
"Kyoko…"
I put my hand on top of hers and gaze in her direction.
"What is it, Akira-kun?"
She slightly lifts her hand and intertwines our fingers as she gently smiles at me.
"Kyoko…"
I slowly reach my hand out and caress her cheek.
"Ah…"
She flinches a bit, but soon after embraces my hand and places her other hand on top of mine.
'How exactly can I take initiative and make this date memorable?'
I recall my words from earlier.
I think I know the answer to that question now.
My heart is beating so fast that it feels like it'll fly out of my chest at any second.
"Kyoko… I love you."
I look directly into her eyes as I confess the feelings I wouldn't dare speak in normal circumstances.
"—! Akira-kun…"
Her eyes widen for a second, followed by an expression of affection as she reciprocates my feelings.
"Me too. I love you so much, Akira-kun…
Our gazes meet and we stare into each other's eyes for what feels like an eternity.
A gentle breeze envelopes us.
I lean forward and slowly start to close my eyes.
Kyoko follows suit.
"Kyoko…"
"Akira-kun…"
Right now, Kyoko is my world.
I can only see her adorable face as she closes her eyes.
I can only hear the sound of her soft breaths as our body's come closer.
I can only feel the gentle touch of her warm, slender fingers as she tightens her grip.
I can only smell her sweet fragrance as it slowly makes its way into my breathing peripheral.
And in mere moments…
A kiss with the one I love.
Will leave an everlasting aftertaste.
One that I'm sure I won't ever forget for as long as I live.
Our breaths can be felt as we lean closer.
And closer…
Closer…
And closer…
Until our faces are less than an inch apart.
"I love you…"
Almost in perfect sync we pour out what's in our hearts once last time before we share a ki—
"WAHHHHHHHHHHH"
Or not…
Startled by the subtle noise, we both jump back and look around, flustered, to locate the source of it.
"Where are you, mama?! Waaahhhhh!"
There's a child walking around crying hysterically, calling out for his mother.
"Oh no, what's wrong? There there, onee-chan is here."
Kyoko quickly runs to the child and strokes the boy's head.
This goddamn brat just ruined our special moment…
Intrusive thoughts flood my mind as I walk over to them, feeling extremely aggravated.
"What's the matter? Are you lost?
"Mhm…"
"Awww, don't worry, we'll help you find your mama, alright? So don't cry. A big boy like you shouldn't be crying.
(Sniff)
"You really will?"
"Of course, I promise."
Kyoko holds up her pinky finger.
"Alright, I'll trust you, onee-chan…"
They exchange a pinky swear.
"What's your name?"
"Sota."
"Alright, Sota-kun, let's go find your mom."
"Yup!"
The boy happily takes Kyoko's hand and smiles.
"Sorry about this, Akira-kun, but I just couldn't leave him alone…"
"It's fine… Let's just find his mother quickly. She must be looking for him as well."
I show her the most awkward and forced smile I can, hoping to hide my animosity toward this little brat.
"Thanks, Akira-kun~"
"Alright Sota-kun, let's start walking around."
"Right!"
The boy energetically nods his head in agreement.
The three of us walk around the park calling out for the brat's mom as well as asking around.
After about 45 minutes of looking, we finally run into his mom who was indeed also searching for him.
"So-chan!"
"Mama!"
The brat runs straight into his mother's arms.
"I was looking all over for you. Where did you run off to? Are you hurt at all? You shouldn't worry your mom like that, ok?"
"Mmm, I'm sorry, mama…"
"That's great that we found his mom, right Akira-kun?" Kyoko turns to me with a look of satisfaction.
"Yeah…" I respond disinterestedly, letting out a bit of my enmity for the brat in my tone.
"Thank you both so much for finding my son!"
The mother bows to us.
"I don't know if this is enough to show you how grateful I am but…"
She begins taking out money from her wallet.
"Oh no, it's no big deal, ma'am! We helped because we wanted to. You don't have to pay us anything!"
Kyoko vigorously shakes her head whilst flailing her arms around.
"But… Are you really sure? I don't mind really."
"It's fine ma'am. Seeing Sota-kun returned to you is the best reward we can really ask for."
"But…"
She looks at me.
I simply shrug, gesturing that I agree with Kyoko.
"Thank you both so much!"
"Thank you Onee-chan, Onii-san!"
Kyoko and I are seen off by the two of them as we begin to head back.
******
"Hey, Akira-kun…"
"Hm? What's up Kyoko?"
"I think… I've decided."
There was an indefinite sense of resolve and determination in her eyes as spoke those words.
"What have you decided on?"
"I've decided that I want to join the student council and run for president."
"…"
Yamaguchi and I did encourage her to join, but I'm surprised she decided so fast.
"What made you decide you wanted to join?"
"It was after we helped Sota-kun."
The brat?
"Seeing how happy both he and his mom were truly touched me. It made me realize just how much I enjoy helping other people. Helping others and bringing people joy. If joining the student council will allow me to do that for the students at our school, then that's more than enough reason to join."
Kyoko's eyes have a certain look.
A look that I don't want to see.
The look of someone that's decided on a goal and is determined to see it through.
I already know how passionate she is about this.
After all, I used to have that same look when I was chasing after him…
"I see."
Helping others.
Honestly, the idea of helping someone out of the goodness of my heart is beyond me. I think people should prioritize themselves above all others. I have my group of people that I care about and would do anything for, but outside of them, I couldn't care less about anyone else. It may seem like a self-serving way to live, but it's one I stand by.
"I think it's great that you've found a purpose, Kyoko."
"Yup! I feel like by helping others, I'll be able to change and grow as a person."
"Why do you think that?"
"I can't explain it too well, but if I can help other people the way you helped me back when we first met, then I think that would be a wonderful thing. Being able to return the kindness and helping hand that you offered to me all those years ago to other people, if I can do that, then I'll be able to prove to myself that I've become a much stronger person. And maybe then, I will start to have more self-confidence and value myself more. At least that's what I want to believe."
I never knew Kyoko cared so much about that stuff from back then. I can barely even remember it if I'm being honest. Did I really do something that left such an impression on her? If it was me from back then, It might be plausible. But something about what she said isn't right…
"If you're always helping other people find happiness, then how will you find your own happiness, Kyoko?"
"I don't need to because I've already found it!"
"You have?" I shoot her a look of confusion.
"Yup! It's you silly. You're my happiness! Nothing makes me happier than being together with you because you mean the world to me, Akira-kun."
"…"
Her words came out so naturally that it takes me a minute to comprehend.
Me? I'm her happiness?
I feel my face getting hot as I begin to process what she just said.
"I-Is that so?"
I try to walk faster to hide my face.
"Yup~"
She quickly catches up, locks arms with me, and leans against my shoulder.
(Sigh)
I let out a small sigh, accepting that it's pointless to resist.
This girl really is going to be the death of me one day…
******
We're now at the station waiting for the train to arrive.
It's starting to get dark and I don't want to keep Kyoko out too late, potentially pissing off her dad.
"It says the train will be here in about 10 minutes,"Kyoko says, looking down at her cellphone.
Surprisingly, there's very few people at the station right now.
It's quiet.
So quiet you can hear the sound of water dripping from the ceiling.
Even though the sun has set, it's bright.
The station is illuminated by the various lights throughout the platform.
It's cold.
A cool breeze passes through the station, sending a chill throughout my body.
I find myself staring blankly at the train tracks, completely absorbed in my own thoughts.
Kyoko's gonna join the student council, huh?
I think it suits her well. She's always had great leadership qualities. Plus, she puts others before herself and genuinely enjoys helping people. She's nothing like the timid girl I met that day by chance at the park. She's changed a lot and become such an amazing person. And even now, she's still trying to change and improve herself. And what about me? Since that day, what exactly have I done? Have I changed? Have I tried to improve myself?
Have I done anything notable or even worth praise?
I guess I haven't…
If anything, I've probably regressed since I stopped pursuing in his footsteps. I gave up on chasing his way of life and ideals. I admired him back then because I wanted to be like him. Now, I admire him because I know I can't be like him. We're complete opposites. The way he lived and the many people he was able to bring to his side was truly astounding. But I'm not like him, or at least I don't know how to be... And I'm fine with that because even though I decided to walk down my own path, I have people by my side that I care for dearly and care for me. That alone is enough for me.
Even so, when I see how hard Kyoko is working to better herself, I can't help but feel like I'm being left behind. Maybe one day she'll understand that she's too good for me and won't want to be with me anymore. I know she isn't that kind of person, but I can't help but lament a future where that may become a possibility. If it means that I'll lose her eventually, can I truly support her goal to join the student council? I already know the answer to that question. Of course I can't. Even if I help her join and run for president, I know deep inside that I will never be able to fully support her because of the fear cemented in my heart. It's pathetic and I absolutely loathe myself for even thinking that way.
Nothing stays the same.
I know that already.
People and things around you will constantly change, just as the seasons do.
But… If that change entails a future with nothing except pain and sadness, then I want things to stay the way they are now.
****
Akira-kun?
"Ah."
Kyoko's voice breaks me out of my train of thought and I return to my senses.
(Choo Choo)
I can see the headlights from the train getting closer to our stop.
"Ah, looks like the train is almost here."
"Hey, Akira-kun."
"Hm?"
Kyoko walks in front of me and grabs both of my hands as I'm looking toward the incoming train.
"Thank you for today."
"Did you have fun?"
"Yup! I had tons of fun thanks to you."
She sweetly smiles and exclaims, full of energy.
"I'm glad we could spend time together like this, Akira-kun."
(Now Boarding)
The train has arrived.
"The train's here, Kyoko."
"Ah right…"
She hesitantly lets go of my hands and starts walking toward the train.
The few people at the station have already boarded and it seems like no one is getting off at this stop.
I follow behind Kyoko before she suddenly stops.
"Kyoko? What's wrong?"
"There's actually one thing missing from today's date. Can you guess what it is, Akira-kun?"
Something missing?
Was there somewhere else she wanted to go that we missed?
I close my eyes and contemplate the question for a bit.
"Yeah sorry, I don't have the slightest cl—"
"Mmmh…"
As I open my eyes I feel a warm sensation pressing against my lips.
Kyoko just kissed me.
Her lips are soft and I can feel the heat of her breath as she lets out a cute sound.
I stand there, eyes wide, starstruck as she continues to kiss me whilst her face is shaded deep red.
Without regard for who is watching us any longer, I close my eyes and accept her warmth.
"Hngh~" Kyoko lets out another cute sound.
Everything around us becomes a secondary concern as we are only focused on each other at this point in time.
We continue to kiss for what feels like ages.
How much time has passed? 1 second? 1 minute? I can't tell, but at this very moment it feels like the flow of time has become a completely irrelevant concept as I wish for this moment to never end.
"Haah haah…"
As our lips separate, we both take a few seconds to catch our breath.
"Now the date is complete, ehehe~"
Kyoko takes her hands off of my chest and gets off her tippy toes as she backs up, still a bit red.
"…"
I stand there, unable to say anything as my brain hasn't even fully processed what exactly just happened.
Kyoko averts her gaze and immediately flushes red again as if she only now realized what she just did.
She quickly jumps onto the train.
(Now Departing)
"Akira-kun, bye-bye~."
She waves at me shyly as the train's doors close and it begins to leave.
"…"
Now standing alone in the train station, I slowly bring my hand up to my lips as I recall the warm and soft sensation I felt just mere moments ago.
I feel my face start to get hot as I check the time on my cell phone.
"…I guess I'll take the next train home."