67. Ch 67- No Sleep For The Worried

Lana was pacing back and forth in her room, her hands behind her back and her head ducked down. "Come on, Lana, you just need to tell him!" she told herself. "Tell him you're sorry and that you regret laughing at him!" A frown appeared on her face as she then argued, "but he's still mad at me…" She shook her head. "That's because you haven't apologised! When he sees you're sorry, he won't be mad at you!"

This went on for another minute, just like it had gone on for a good few minutes already. The six year old continued her pacing, not noticing that her pets Hops and Izzy were watching her. The frog and lizard talked to each other in their language, both knowing that someone needed to snap Lana out of this state. With a nod, Hops faced his owner and shot his tongue at Lana's ear, getting her attention.

"Hops? What is it?" She walked over and looked at the frog, who croaked. "Sorry… I'm just really nervous. I don't want Linky to hate me, you know?" The frog croaked some more, causing Lana to sigh. "You're right. I should just get it over with. The longer I wait, the more mad he's gonna be, right?" Both lizard and frog nodded, making Lana smile. "Thanks, you two. I'll bring you some food when I'm done, okay? Stay here."

She turned to the door, and with a deep breath, she left her bedroom and headed downstairs, where she saw her brother on the couch, watching TV. Though she felt butterflies in her stomach, she powered through and approached the boy. "Um, Linky?"

He looked to her, a blank expression on his face. "What do you want, Lana?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, but be quick. I'm heading out once my friends get here."

"R-right." She gulped as she prepared the words in her head before saying them out loud. "I'm… I'm sorry for laughing at you. I-I'm sorry that I didn't support you when you told us that you like gymnastics, a-and I'm sorry I made you mad at me."

Lincoln looked at the girl, almost observing her as she made her apology, and didn't say anything for a good ten seconds after she did so. When she finally looked up and met his eye, he responded. "I appreciate you trying to apologise, Lana… but do you really think that's enough?"

Her heart sunk in her chest as he said this. "W-what do you mean?"

He scoffed. "You and the others humiliated me, Lana. You made me feel like an idiot, just like you always do when I talk about my hobbies. I have always supported you guys when it comes to your things. I've gone to your events, I've helped you out at home, but whenever it comes to something I like, you either stick your nose up or laugh! I decided to tell you guys the truth, and it was no different than usual! So, yeah, Lana! I'm mad at you, I'm mad at all of you, and it's going to take more than a weak apology to make up for that."

Tears were brimming in her eyes, so she lifted her hand to rub her eyes. "L-Like what?"

He rolled his eyes before he heard a knock at the door, standing up and walking past the girl. "I'm not just going to tell you, Lana. You need to grow up and figure it out for yourself." All Lana could do was watch as he opened the door, revealing Jordan standing on the other side. "Hey, Jordan. Shall we go?"

"Sure," she replied, catching sight of the twin out of the corner of her eye. "What's with her?"

"Don't bother. She's not worth it."

That was the line that broke the dam, the tears streaming down the young girl's face as her brother left and shut the door. She wasn't content to leave things there, so she rushed to the door, throwing it open and running out of it. She ran down the street in the direction her brother went, calling out his name, though the more she ran, the further away he seemed to get. Even as her legs started to tire, and her brother seemed to disappear from site, she ran. This only stopped when she tripped on a crack, falling to the floor. She sobbed, both from the pain of the fall and the pain of her brother's words. "Lincoln… LINCOLN!"

Lana shot up from her bed with a fright, calling her brother's name. She looked around, her brain realising that it was still nighttime, and she was back in her bed. It took a moment as she panted to realise that it had been a nightmare, and that there were tears staining her cheeks. She looked over to her twin's bed, seeing that the younger twin was still asleep, so she quickly but quietly threw off her bedsheet and put her feet in her slippers, then left the room. She began towards the room shared by her two oldest sisters, but had a change of heart halfway there and turned around. She then walked up to the bedroom of her brother, placing a knock on the door. While she didn't get a response, she did cause it to open slightly. Seeing it was unlocked, she gently pushed it further open, allowing her to silently enter. She was just about able to see her brother in his bed, his back facing her. She opened her mouth to speak to him, but the words got caught in her throat, that fear she felt at the start of her nightmare returning in full.

'He's not gonna want to speak with me,' she sombrely thought. 'He's just gonna be mad at me.'

So, she turned and started to run out of the room, only for her to blindly trip on his desk chair, falling into the door and onto the floor. She started to sob from the fall, not realising that her brother had begun to stir. After rubbing his eyes he sat up and looked around. Thanks to the door letting some of the light in, he was able to see Lana, his brotherly instinct bringing him concern. "Lana?" he asked, getting out of bed. "What happened?"

"S-s-sorry I w-w-woke you up, L-Lincoln," she sobbed, her hand raising to her cheek.

"Woke me up? Wait, hang on a second." He walked over to the door, turning on the light switch next to it so he could see better. With the light on, he could now see the grazing on Lana's cheek behind her hand. "Lana, you're hurt! What happened?"

"I… I-I tr-tripped, and h-hit the door."

His eyes softened at hearing this. "That must have hurt. Come here." He bent down and scooped her up in his arms. "Let's get that cleaned up, okay?"

She sniffled, wiping away some of her tears, though new ones quickly replaced them. "Okay…"

"Okay." He carried her back out of his room, walking down the hallway and into the bathroom. He sat her down on the stool that his younger sisters used when brushing their teeth, then began to look in the medicine cabinet. He soon found what he was looking for and pulled out a first aid kit, setting it down on the sink. "Lana, I know your cheek hurts, but can you move your hand so I can look at it?" She hesitantly removed her hand from her cheek, allowing the boy to see just how bad the graze was. "It's not bleeding, thankfully, but it looks sore. I think you'll be okay if I just clean it." He turned on the cold water, washing his hands with soap then grabbing the wash cloth from the first aid kit and running it under the water. "This might sting a little, so just bear with me, okay?"

"Okay."

He noticed that she seemed quiet, but he thought it might simply be because she was tired and hurt, so he gave her a small smile. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." He took the cloth and gently brushed it against her cheek, eliciting a small groan of discomfort and a wince, but the girl stayed strong as her brother cleaned up her graze. Once he was satisfied, he rinsed his towel under the water again and wrung it dry, returning it into the kit. "I think you'll be okay. Do you want me to put a plaster on it?" She gave a small nod. "Alright. I need to dry your cheek first, so I'll grab a plaster and we can put it on downstairs. Better if I use a paper towel rather than toilet paper, don't want it getting infected."

He grabbed a plaster out of the first aid kit, then closed it and returned it to the medicine cabinet. He then picked Lana up again and carried her downstairs, sitting her down at the kiddy table in the kitchen. He took a square of paper towel from the roll and gently dried up his younger sister's cheek, then took the plaster out of its wrapping and put it over the grazing. "There we go. Now all that's left is to kiss it better." He leaned forward to do just that, but she leaned away from it, much to his confusion. "What's wrong?"

"I don't deserve you kissing it better," she mumbled, Lincoln only just making out what she said.

"What do you mean?" She looked away, almost acting shamefully, so he placed his hand on her shoulder. "Lana, what's wrong? And how come you were in my room before?"

She was scared to tell him, but when she looked at Lincoln and saw his soft gaze, she decided there was no point in hiding it. "I had a nightmare, but… I didn't want you to be mad at me for waking you up."

"Lana, if you had a nightmare, you could have told me. It's fine. So, what happened?"

"W-well… I… I tried to… apologise to you."

"Apologise?"

She nodded. "Yeah, for how I acted. You know, on Sunday?"

As it sank in, the sixth grader's brow furrowed and a frown appeared in his lips. "Oh."

"Y-yeah. I told you that… th-that I was… sorry for laughing, sorry for not supporting you, and sorry for making you mad at me. You didn't like it, though. You said it wasn't enough and that I had to figure out what to do. You said that I… I-I-I wasn't worth it." Her tears came flooding back. "Then you left. I-I tried running after you, but I-I fell, and… you weren't there." She tried wiping away the tears, but they kept on pouring. "Th-that was when I woke up." Lincoln didn't say a word at first, making Lana worried that she shouldn't have said anything, and that worry grew when Lincoln walked over to the counter again. "Please don't be mad at me!"

"Lana, listen to me, okay? I'm not mad at you." He returned to the girl with the roll of paper towels, putting it on the table and ripping another square off. "Here."

She took it, surprised by the gesture. "Thanks." She began to dry up her tears as she asked him, "so, you're not mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad at you."

"But… on Sunday…"

"I was mad then, yes, but I'm not mad now. If anything, I'm… I'm disappointed. And upset." He could see that Lana didn't fully understand, but he couldn't blame her, so he sat down and began to explain. "Do you remember that time when the toilet was clogged?"

"With the Princess Pony book? Yeah, Lucy said it was her book, and that you took the blame because she didn't think she could handle the teasing."

"She did? Woah… guess I'm gonna have to thank her for that." He made a mental note of that, then shook his head. "Well, what I'm trying to get at is, you girls all laughed at me for my costume, and it made me feel bad, you know?" Lana nodded her head, looking more guilty as she pictured what had happened in her mind. "I wanted to try and avoid that happening again, because this is new for me and I really enjoy it. That's why I was trying to tell you all one by one, you know?"

"Oh… but, what about when you told me that thing a couple of weeks ago? When you saw me sad about what Lacey had done?"

He gave a small nod, remembering the conversation they had. "You're not wrong, Lana. Honestly, I wish that someone had told me that when I started doing gymnastics. If that was the case, I might have told you all from the start, and things might have been different."

"Or we might have acted the same," Lana pointed out, using the paper towel in her hands to wipe away new tears. "I was too dumb to think before I laughed."

"Lana, you're just a kid. You made a mistake and you realise that, and you weren't the only one to make that mistake. If I had the chance to talk to you alone, then maybe things would have been different… but there's no point in thinking like that now."

"You're right… you're right." She sniffled, then looked her brother in the eye. "Lincoln, I'm sorry."

He raised an eyebrow. "I thought you already apologised."

"But, I want to do it properly." He understood her tone, so he didn't say anything as she began to apologise once more. "I'm sorry that I laughed at you. I shouldn't have done it, and I shouldn't have made you mad. You're my big brother, and if you like gymnastics, then I'm happy for you. I just hope you can forgive me, but… I-I understand if you d-"

She stopped as she felt her brother wrap his arms around her, and though she couldn't see it, he had a smile on his face. "It's okay, Lana," he whispered, pride and joy in his words. "I forgive you."

"Y-you do?" She felt his head nod against hers, and her lip started to quiver as happy tears formed in his eyes, before she returned the hug tightly. "Thank you, Lincoln. Thank you."

She continued to thank him as they held their embrace, the boy rubbing her back as he assured her that everything was okay. They were both happy that things had turned out as they did that night, and that they were able to make amends. When they eventually let go of each other, she wiped away the rest of her tears before a small yawn came out. Lincoln smirked at it, feeling wiped after their talk as well.

"We should probably go back to bed," he told his little sister. "We both have school tomorrow."

"R-Right…"

He noticed that she seemed nervous as she said this, her thumbs twiddling together. "What's wrong?" She didn't say anything at first, but he quickly thought of something. "Oh, I get it. You want me to kiss your cheek better now, don't you? Come here."

She giggled as he kissed her cheek where she had grazed it. "That wasn't what I meant!"

"It wasn't? Then, what is it?"

"Well… can I… sleep in your room tonight?"

His smile grew. "Is that all? Of course you can, Lana."

"Thanks, Lincoln."

"Anytime, Sis." Standing from his chair, he took the paper towel from Lana and threw it in the trash, then placed his hands under Lana's arms and picked her up so he could carry her back upstairs. When they got to his room, he sat her down on his bed, then turned the light off before walking over to her. He sat down next to her and they laid down next side by side as he covered them both with the duvet. "Goodnight, Lana."

"Um, Lincoln? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Why do you like gymnastics?"

He opened his mouth, but found that it was a good question that he needed to think about. He hadn't really thought about that before, not even when he first told Lynn. "Well… I don't know how to put it, exactly, Lana. It's kind of like… when I tried those other sports, I was just doing them for the sake of doing something. With gymnastics, though, there's more to it. I don't feel like I'm doing a sport. I feel like I'm just having fun, and I don't really feel tired." He then smirked as he added, "of course, Lynn's definitely made sure I'm wiped any time we train together." He heard Lana laughing softly at his joke, making him laugh as well. "But, yeah. It's not as simple as, I like it because of this, or I like it because of that. I think it's just that I like it." He was expecting her to respond, but when she didn't, he looked down and saw his little sister fast asleep, the moonlight through his window allowing him to see the smile on her face as she snuggled him. Pleased by the cute sight, he ruffled her hair, whispering, "goodnight, Lana," before falling asleep as well.

Across the hall, the bathroom door opened and one of the other Loud girls stepped out with a yawn. "No more soda before bedtime," she told herself, before noticing something. "Why is Lincoln's door open?" She began to consider whether or not she should have a look inside, knowing that her brother might be annoyed if he caught her, but her curiosity won out in the end. She quietly traversed the landing, keeping alert for any of her other sisters or her parents coming out of their rooms. Once she reached the former linen closet, she poked her head in, and the small amount of light that flooded in from the hallway allowed her to see an adorable sight- her brother laying in his bed with Lana cuddling him, her head on his chest and smiles on their faces. 'Looks like they've made up,' she thought to herself, initially happy for her little sister until a frown formed. 'Wish I could say the same for me and Lincoln... I want to tell him, but I don't know how... unless...'

As an idea began to form, she left the boy's room and returned to her own. She grabbed her phone from her desk, pulled up her contacts and began to send someone a text:

Hey. Can we meet tomorrow before school? I... I messed up

She didn't have to wait too long before a reply was sent her way.

Of course. What's wrong?

I'll tell you in the morning. thanks

She turned her phone off and placed it back on her desk, then got into her bed. 'They'll probably be mad at me... but if I want their help, then I've gotta be honest with them...'