23. Chapter 23

Previously...

Elizabeth and the Gardiners visit Darcy House in London for dinner at the invitation of Georgiana Darcy. Despite a very pleasant Darcy, Lizzy pleads a head-ache and flees. Darcy is discouraged and believes Elizabeth must not care for him, while Elizabeth believes that Darcy was merely being polite in his attentions, but found herself too enamoured to be able to tolerate such platonic interest with equanimity.

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XXIII.

Following the departure of the evening's guests, Georgiana felt both pleased and disappointed. She was pleased with the company and would even admit to herself that she was proud of her efforts to play hostess in her brother's home. Fitzwilliam had generally spared her this responsibility as she was not yet out, but to solve the mystery that had been plaguing her for nearly a month, she was more than willing to suffer a little anxiety. However, she was disappointed in equal measure to her pleasure because the evening had ended rather abruptly – she could not believe Miss Bennet truly had a head-ache – and she saw no real interaction between that lady and her brother!

Still, for all her shyness, Georgiana was a Darcy through and through; she would not simply drop the matter. She set off to locate Fitzwilliam. She found him, unsurprisingly, in his study, where he seemed to often retreat in recent days. The door was open, so she knocked lightly to alert him to her presence as she stepped in.

Darcy had been reflecting on Miss Bennet's refusal of his walk and overall reserved demeanour this evening. He had learned his lesson his first night back from Hertfordshire about overconsumption of spirits, but he was partaking in a glass – only one glass, he resolved firmly – of his favourite brandy to aid in digestion and give him something to do with his hands. If the truth were to be told, he nearly felt like wringing his hands in sorrow and frustration, but he would not permit himself such an inappropriate display. His thoughts swung wildly back and forth between misery at having lost Miss Bennet's favour and attempts to convince himself that this was as matters ought to be. He could not seem to settle his thoughts to one side or the other, but continuously returned every time to the conclusion that regardless of his wont or feelings, the lady had made her feelings quite clear this evening and he must respect that.

It is your own fault, after all, he chastised internally. You knew how it would be perceived to the neighbourhood when you departed Netherfield so abruptly. Not only that, no, this is as I wanted matters to be!

As his frustration with himself and his own inconstancy – or perhaps over-constancy – peaked, he let out an audible sigh. In nearly the same moment, he heard a soft tap on his door and turned to see his sister entering. He tried to school his emotions so they would not show so plainly upon his face.

"Fitz, I was wondering where you had gone off to," Georgiana smiled easily and seemed more relaxed than he had seen her in quite some time, but then her expression seemed to turn slightly anxious and shy; "I hoped we might talk about the dinner this evening – "

Darcy cut her off, thinking she wished to discuss how he was acquainted with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, but he could not tolerate the thought of an in-depth discussion over the lady, while his injuries were still so fresh. "Gigi, dear, I am rather tired and I do not think I can discuss this tonight."

Confused about his reluctance, Georgiana pressed, "Oh, but it is the first time I have hosted for non-family! Please, Fitz, we do not have to speak long, but I wish to know if you were pleased with the dinner? Or perhaps you were disappointed in me? I do know the evening ended somewhat earlier than I had planned..." her words tailed off as she saw her brother shaking his head.

"No, no, Georgiana, I apologise, dear. I had not meant to suggest that I was in any way displeased with you or your hospitality this evening! Quite the opposite, Gigi, you performed your duties beautifully. I believe Mrs. Gardiner was most correct when she said that Mother would have been proud of you tonight."

His smile was genuine and warm, but his eyes showed more than his pride in her; they seemed to also show relief and sadness. Georgiana wondered at the strange mixture of emotions just below the surface with her brother. She decided against commenting on her observation and instead offered a shy thank you.

Paradoxically, along with his relief that his sister was not questioning his association with Miss Bennet, Darcy then found himself disappointed in not hearing Georgiana's thoughts of Miss Elizabeth. Ignoring the part of himself that insisted he would be wiser to leave well enough alone, he found he could not help but now bring up the very subject he had thought he wished to avoid.

"Gigi, what did you think of our guests?"

Georgiana tensed momentarily, sensing instinctively the import of such a question, but then answered easily, "Oh Fitz, I positively adored the Gardiners and Miss Bennet! I was nervous at first, of course, to host people I did not truly know well, but now I feel as though I have known them, especially Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet, for years!"

"I am glad you enjoyed their company."

The smile on Fitzwilliam's face provided ample encouragement, so Georgiana continued, "I must admit that I wondered at first at your having a female acquaintance from Hertfordshire, as you often do not seem to enjoy the company of ladies – " realising how this sounded differently than she had intended, she hastened to correct, "That is, I mean, you seem to prefer a smaller group of friends, like Mr. Bingley, as I know you do not often make morning calls or host dinners here or at Pemberley. I thought maybe you did not feel as comfortable with many ladies for fear of raising expectations, oh dear!" Now she blushed brightly at her fumbling; she knew that her brother did not wish for her to be exposed to these things, especially not when she was younger. Richard was less concerned, though, and had often told her stories of ladies of the ton making their interest known in her brother. She glanced shyly up at him; thankfully, he was smiling.

"Do not look so concerned, Gigi. You have observed correctly that I do not often seek interactions with those I am not already more thoroughly acquainted with, and as it would not be appropriate for me to become more acquainted with most ladies without raising expectations or starting tongues wagging, I have found it easier to keep to my small group of friends from childhood and university. However, need I remind you that I was not the one who suggested this evening's activities?"

Emboldened by his apparent good humour, Georgiana gave a saucier reply than she normally might have: "Well, yes, I may have been the one to suggest the dinner, but how else was I to learn about the lady whose mere presence rendered my brother mute for a solid minute?"

Fitzwilliam's expression darkened slightly at this; "Georgiana, as I said before, Miss Elizabeth Bennet is merely an acquaintance I met during my stay with Bingley."

"But you clearly must have had some interactions with her specifically," Georgiana pressed, sensing the chance he may answer her questions after all. "You are different around her and she seems different around you. It was almost as though you were each watching for a signal from the other. And," she hesitated, unsure if this would push him too far, but deciding to try, "and I can understand why you would enjoy her company. She is not like the ladies of the ton; she seems more... real."

Darcy could only stare, speechless and horrified. Have I been so transparent? Oh heavens, no wonder Miss Bennet fled from me tonight! She must have thought I was some sort of treacherous rake! First, I flirt with her in Hertfordshire and then leave without word and then request a private walk at my home? I thought I was so careful! But if Georgiana could see it so plainly in such a short time? Oh, oh, no!

Georgiana was rather concerned with her brother's lack of response and the clear look of distress on his countenance. "Fitz," she touched his shoulder and he flinched, but shifted his attention to her face, "are you well?"

"Err, yes, of course, dear. I do apologise for... er, getting lost in my own thoughts for a moment. I am well."

She was sure she did not believe him, but there really was no way to argue the matter, so instead she inquired, "Will you accompany me tomorrow to call on Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet?"

Fitzwilliam had not been expecting this and he jerked in surprise. "I – you – pardon?"

"Tomorrow, I wish to call on their home at Gracechurch Street. I do hope to see more of Miss Bennet while she is in Town. I know she will be returning to Hertfordshire for her sister's wedding soon, but I hope that we can remain friends and correspond. Will you join me?"

He was conflicted but opted to answer as honestly as possible, "Gigi, I do not think Miss Bennet would prefer that."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, err, as you noticed, I … enjoy Miss Bennet's company more than many others'... but, well, Miss Bennet may have gotten the wrong impression of my … interest … and so, she may not wish to ... be in my company."

Georgiana's face showed confusion plainly across it. "What makes you think she does not enjoy your company as well?"

Fitzwilliam took a deep breath and decided he may as well just tell her, since he had already said this much. "Gigi, when I met Miss Bennet in Hertfordshire, I did spend some time with her – more so than other ladies in the area. Not that there was anything inappropriate, but she intrigued me and surprised me. As you said, she is not like the ladies of the ton and her arch manner was... refreshing. But at some point, quite without my permission, I began to contemplate if my feelings had … grown past a simple acquaintance. Bingley, er, noticed this as well. It was part of why we disagreed before I left."

This last confession caused a sharp gasp to exit Georgiana. She had not truly expected Fitzwilliam to open up to her in this manner and she was quickly realising she was out of her depth! But she could listen, so she simply nodded and hoped he would take this as encouragement to continue.

Darcy found that he was actually glad to have someone to speak with about these thoughts and feelings. It seemed once he had started, he wished to continue to feel the relief that came along with unburdening his mind from these thoughts and fears.

With a nod in response to Georgiana's, Darcy continued, "You see, I had thought I was keeping my feelings under good regulation. I – " he paused, trying to find the best way to express his thoughts to his sister, without upsetting her delicate sensibilities, "well, I did not feel we were suited, so I did not intend to … raise expectations for Miss Bennet or, er, her family. But – "

Georgiana could not help but to interrupt at this statement; she simply could not understand what he meant! "What do you mean that you and Miss Elizabeth Bennet are not well-suited to one another?"

Darcy sighed, how can I best explain this? "Well, as much as I respect Miss Bennet, her family is ... not at equal standing with ours."

Georgiana did not appear to find this as compelling an explanation as he might have hoped; her tone was light but she did wear a small frown. "Oh, is her family all in trade? I had thought she was a gentleman's daughter."

"Actually, she is a gentleman's daughter, but her mother's family is in trade."

"Yes, I recall Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner are related to Miss Bennet's mother. Although, they seemed perfectly lovely to me. I must admit, Fitzwilliam, I am rather surprised at that being a problem for you. After all, Mr. Bingley's family is also in trade, are they not?"

Darcy was uncomfortable; perhaps Georgiana would not understand his reasons as he had hoped. "Well, er, yes, Bingley's family made their fortune in trade, but a friendship with Bingley is not the same as considering a lady for a – " He could not say the word, it choked him in a way that was simultaneously painful and exhilarating. He swallowed hard before continuing, "At any rate, it does not matter. As I said, Miss Bennet does not have feelings for me beyond that of a casual acquaintance and I would never wish to impose upon a lady."

Georgiana frowned, confused. "Fitz, I do not understand why a friendship with Bingley is acceptable but considering a courtship with a lady of Miss Bennet's status is not. Why do you insist there is a difference?"

Darcy sighed and finally admitted his perceived impediments: "Gigi, my choice of … wife" – the word was difficult to say – "affects more than myself. Your standing when you come out could be tarnished if I chose a lady not approved of by the ton, not to mention the tirades from Aunt Catherine and even likely Uncle Robert. As Darcys we have a long and proud family history –"

"Fitzwilliam! Do you mean to tell me that you allowed what others would say to deter you from a lady who captured your attention? For me? For our family? Fitz, how do you suppose Mother and Father would approve of such a decision?"

Darcy was momentarily taken aback at Georgiana's outburst, but regained his composure soon enough. "Well, I am sure Father would agree that it is my duty to be mindful of our family name and legacy."

Georgiana released a rather un-ladylike noise. "And he would say that to do so would require you to wed a lady for whom you felt no affection?"

"Well, of course not, but –"

"Precisely! Father always told me that one day I would meet a man who would love me as much as he loved Mother and only that man would be worthy of being my husband. He never once told me that the man must be titled or wealthy or even own a home. That was why I had thought it was fine to agree to wed –" She stopped abruptly, realising what she had been about to say. With a sharp breath and a subdued tone she added, "Although, of course, I was mistaken about his character and feelings for me. So perhaps you are right..."

The pain Darcy felt at his sister's abrupt transformation was deep. He pulled her by the shoulders into his chest. Embracing her and stroking her hair in an attempt to soothe her, he softly reprimanded, "No, no, Gigi, no. You must not let that scoundrel's lies make you doubt yourself. You are correct, Little One, Father wanted you to marry for nothing less than the absolute devotion he shared with Mother. That was, I am sure, what they both wanted for you."

Georgiana sighed as she pulled back slightly to see her brother's face, "But you do not believe that they would have wanted the same for you?"

"I –" He did not know. He knew what Aunt Catherine had said for years, but it had been so long since his mother's death and Father had not spoken to him of marriage or love in his last years, only his duties to his sister, the family, and the many others who relied on the Darcy lands and homes for their livelihood. Still, he could not refute her point. Instead, he deflected, "As I said, Gigi, it is of no consequence as Miss Bennet does not share my interest."

Now Georgiana pulled away, clearly frustrated. "You keep saying that, but I do not know why! What has happened between you two that leads you to this conclusion? I do not perceive her indifference quite so clearly as you seem to."

Darcy was momentarily taken aback, both due to the forcefulness of his sister's declaration but also her different conclusion than he had reached. "That is because you have not seen how she speaks to me now. Or more, does not speak to me now! In Hertfordshire, before I left, her manner was teasing and spirited. Here, she barely says a single word to me and when I approached her, she refused my company." He sighed in resignation, "What greater evidence does one require?"

Georgiana frowned slightly, "Well, she may not have said very much to you, but she looked at you often; as often as you looked at her, I would daresay. And when did you approach her?"

Fitzwilliam shifted uncomfortably, knowing his actions were not strictly proper. "I, err, I went out to enquire after her in the garden, when she stepped out for some fresh air."

"But Fitz, surely she was simply being mindful of appearances and propriety! It was night-time and you were unsupervised."

"I... yes, I know, but I was not thinking clearly! When she stayed at Netherfield, on several occasions we took walks in the gardens... but you are correct to point out the time of day. Our walks at Netherfield were always during the daytime hours and we stayed largely within view of the house..."

"See now? I am quite certain that her refusal was more to do with the timing of such a request than a measure of her regard. Come with me tomorrow. I could just as easily bring Mrs. Annesley, but if you join me, we can all take a walk together and perhaps then I will see for myself what Miss Bennet thinks of you."

Darcy could not resist such a tempting explanation for Miss Elizabeth's behaviour! Refusing Georgiana was no longer possible if Miss Bennet's feelings may still be undecided. "Very well, dearest, I shall accompany you on the morrow."

Georgiana smiled brightly, kissed her brother's cheek, and left the study to ready herself for bed.

Darcy remained in the same place for several more moments, surprised slightly by his own excitement for the following day's visit, before shaking his head and deciding that a second glass of brandy might not be such a bad idea after all.

ooOoo

And so it was the following morning; Darcy and his sister breakfasted with little conversation, whilst reviewing their correspondences. After their meal, each retired to their morning activities. Darcy addressed several matters of business at Pemberley and their London home, while Georgiana wrote a return letter to her cousin Anne and practised her scales. At midday, they took a brief repast and then set off.

Georgiana found herself eager for their visit to the Gardiners, but knew that first they owed a visit to their own Aunt and Uncle. In fact, she was rather quieter than usual with Richard, Aunt Sophia, and two other cousins, Helena and Eleanor. Helena and Eleanor did not seem to notice as they were quite engaged in their discussions of an upcoming dinner party.

Helena, who was very recently engaged to the eldest son of a Viscount, seemed inordinately pleased that another lady – with whom Georgiana was not acquainted, but who seemed apparently to have been enamoured with Helena's "dearest Philip" – would be in attendance at the party. Georgiana was confused by this as her logic suggested Helena should want this other lady to stay away from her fiancé, but Eleanor's delighted agreement that she "cannot wait to see her face!" confirmed their interest.

Idly, Georgiana's mind considered that perhaps growing up so far removed from female relations had left her ill-prepared for entrance into society as she clearly did not understand the nuances of feminine social interactions. She considered if Miss Bennet would better understand Helena and Eleanor's conversation and decided that not only would Miss Bennet understand, but she would likely be comfortable enough to join in. Georgiana could not help but to smile slightly at this conclusion and hoped, once again, that her brother might have, indeed, captured Miss Elizabeth Bennet's interest. It would be splendid to have an elder sister to teach me these things!

At this, she glanced to Fitzwilliam, who was in conversation with Richard and Aunt Sophia. He was frowning and, it seemed, attempting to refuse an invitation to the very same dinner party in discussion by Helena and Eleanor. Emboldened by her recent thoughts of Miss Bennet, Georgiana approached her aunt, cousin, and brother.

"Come, Darce, what else would you be doing? The Percys always host a dinner party this time of year, but you have not generally been in Town, else you would have attended before! You simply cannot miss it!" Richard was arguing.

One look at Fitzwilliam told Georgiana all she needed to know. "Actually, Richard, Fitzwilliam has promised he will spend the time at home with me. I do not get to see him very often with his duties and my studies and as I cannot attend a party so large, I believe he is attempting to refuse without embarrassment to myself."

Darcy was astonished at the almost-lie from his previously-guileless sister; he nearly gave her away with the speed of his head turn, but as she was partially behind him, his movement was dismissed as one of surprise at seeing her arrival into the conversation. And with that, Richard and Aunt Sophia dropped the matter and allowed other topics of general interest to dominate until their half-hour visit was concluded.

In the carriage on their way to Gracechurch Street, Fitzwilliam was finally able to inquire about Georgiana's bold half-truth.

Georgiana blushed shyly and offered only, "I could see that you did not wish to attend the party and as you did promise to spend time with me, it was not strictly untrue. Are you very angry with me?"

Darcy laughed lightly and shook his head. "Of course I am not angry, but I do wonder where this new-found streak of impertinence may have arisen from."

Georgiana smiled at her brother's teasing and proved his point rather soundly with her reply: "I am sorry, but I do not believe I have the pleasure of understanding you."

ooOoo

At the Gardiners' home, Elizabeth was entertaining the children while Mrs. Gardiner attended to some letters from Mrs. Bennet. It seemed Mrs. Bennet's requests for supposedly necessary items that may only be acquired in London were becoming more frequent and outlandish. Today, three such letters had arrived: the first two were Mrs. Bennet requesting expensive fabrics and lace and then specialty ribbons and recent fashion plates. The first items were intended for Jane, the contents of the second were for the other girls, while the third letter was from Jane imploring that Aunt Margaret not go to excessive expense or effort on her behalf. Elizabeth had smiled at that, knowing that, in fact, this would make Aunt Margaret (and others) go to increased effort and expense simply because Jane did not expect such things for herself. Presently, Aunt Margaret was attempting to respond in such a way as to please all parties involved, but without extraordinary expense to Mr. Gardiner.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth was engaged in a lively battle of Fox and Geese* with her eldest cousin, with the other children surrounding them and cheering. Naturally, Elizabeth enjoyed playing the fox and sometimes fancifully imagined herself actually hopping over the slow geese as she captured them. James Gardiner, despite being only nine, was a clever and calculating opponent and had nearly trapped Cousin Elizabeth's piece when a servant entered with a card for Mrs. Gardiner.

Everyone's activities stopped as they all regarded Mrs. Gardiner. She smiled as she informed Wilkes to "most certainly accept the call."

James looked to his mother for guidance – ought we to leave the room if Mother has guests? – but Mrs. Gardiner simply returned to her letter without instructions to him or the other children.

Elizabeth then inquired, "Aunt?"

But she received no reply as Wilkes had then returned and announced: "Mr. and Miss Darcy."

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A/N: Long wait, I know and I am sorry! I cannot help it, but I promise I'm doing the best I can. For anyone interested, I can offer an exceedingly long and dull list of things that have kept me from writing as often as I'd like to... Otherwise, all I can say is that I truly appreciate your patience!

The good news is that this chapter started to get too long, so I've broken it up, which means I already have part of Ch. 24 written! I am hopeful that will enable me to get it posted sooner, but I cannot make any promises, so please bear with me.

As always, I cannot thank you all enough for your support of this story! I adore and cherish every single review! Thank you also to all those who added this story or me to alerts and favorites!

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* Fox and Geese is a game children in this period played. There's a board with holes and one piece is designated the fox, while the others are the geese. The pieces move around with the goal for the geese to trap the fox or the fox to remove so many geese (by "jumping" them like Checkers) that it cannot be trapped. I found out about the game on the blogspot of JoannaWaugh (dated Oct 14 2008) - sorry I can't post a proper link!