27. Chapter 24: Leave childish things behind

Volume 3

Ch 24: Time to leave childish things behind

A convoy of coaches slowly rolled down the road toward Meryton. The lead coach bore the Darcy family crest. The other two, though fine vehicles, had no such decoration.

"Harumph," Darcy grumbled as the town slowly rose into view. "I imagine the society is something savage." He squared his shoulders and looked away from the side glass.

"Come now, Darcy!" Bingley chided gently. "You really must leave this attitude of yours behind." I have seen it far too often, and I know it does you no favors.

"I must? Those are strong words coming from you." I am stiff and tired, and in no mood to humor you. Frowning, he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Put away that Master of Pemberly mask, Darcy. It no longer impresses me." Bingley laughed good naturedly, crossing his long legs in front of him and stretching.

"He is right, Fitzwilliam," Bradley agreed softly, carefully watching the interaction between the friends. "You scare off a goodly number of people with that attitude." And you have been doing it all you life. As much as you have been trying to help your friend grow up and become his own man, it is time for you too to grow up and leave childish things behind.

"That is precisely what he is trying to do." Charles raised his brow toward the vicar, with a knowing smile. "I have seen him bring out this particular tactic under many circumstances."

"Bingley…" Darcy warned with a stern expression.

"You do not frighten me any longer with that look," Bingley smiled. "I know what it means."

"And what would that be?" Bradley glanced at Darcy, who shifted uneasily in his seat. He smiled to himself. Charles is good for him. Fitzwilliam needs someone to prod him from his ease and force him out of his mask.

"I saw that look at Cambridge many times. It is the look of a man who is uncomfortable in company."

Darcy crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "I have never been fond of company. I do not understand the point." A familiar frown spread across his face. "People milling about with those they do not know, talking about things which are unimportant, doing things they would rather not do."

"Like dancing?" Charles teased gently.

"Explain to me the point of shuffling about the floor, hoping not to trod upon the toes of a woman you do not know, keeping time to music that you do not enjoy," Darcy's large hands spread wide in front of him, seeking understanding.

His companions laughed sympathetically.

"When you put it that way, I can see why you would not favor such pastimes." Bradley rubbed his chin, smiling.

"If you had your way, Darcy, you would find a woman as fascinated by estate management as you. You could discuss your new seed drills and crop rotations! No small talk over the weather for you! No, tenant disputes and the price of wheat would dominate your dinner table conversation."

"Pray tell what is so wrong with preferring useful conversation to mindless fluff?" Darcy turned to stare out the window once more. Why must my preferences always be in the wrong?

"Nothing at all, young master," Bradley agreed, reaching across the coach to slap Darcy's shoulder.

They rode on in companionable silence for a few minutes.

"Really, Darcy, you have nothing to worry about while you are here. No one knows you, and once you leave, you will just as likely never see them again. It is a wonderful place for you to spread your wings and learn the gentle art of conversation and social interaction." Bingley smiled encouragingly.

Darcy glared. I cannot believe you would expect me to expose myself in such company. I will do no such thing, and no amount of pleading from you will change my mind. His jaw set with determination.

"I mean that genuinely. I will help you, just like we did at school. When I occupy Netherfield, I will host dinners, parties, perhaps even a ball. I will help you to get to know the neighborhood…"

"You have not even seen the house yet! Already you talk of meeting the neighbors and hosting gatherings? Are you not putting the cart before the horse?" Impulsive! Will you never learn, Charles? You cannot make these leaps without thinking! Pemberley's master pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"I have every faith it will be as Mr. Cooperton's solicitor described. I say, you really do not need to be so gloomy," Bingley raked his unruly hair back from his eyes.

"I am not gloomy. I am a realist."

"The difference hardly signifies," Bingley huffed, but immediately softened. "Do not be anxious, my friend. The new scenery will do you a world of good. You have been as a brother to me. Let me now repay the favor."

Darcy sighed and, with a frown, nodded, leaning his forehead on his hand. The coach lurched to a stop. "I believe we have arrived at the inn where you were to meet Netherfield's owner. If you would like, Bradley, we can let Bingley off here and I can accompany you to the curate's cottage, then return here."

"I would value your company, sir." He wants to talk alone.

"Capital. I shall have our things sent up to our rooms. I am sure Louisa would like to refresh herself before visiting the house and grounds." Charles nodded and left the coach. "With any luck, I will be able to talk with Bascombe before you return."

Darcy followed to give instructions to the driver. Moments later, he settled back into his seat. For several minutes they rode on, watching the town through the side glass.

"I have known you for too long, young master," Bradley began softly, "to be able to ignore it when you are so troubled."

"It is so clear?"

"I am afraid so. I can only imagine that you wish to speak of it as well." Bradley smiled gently.

Darcy frowned and chewed his lip. "I fear this trip is a mistake."

"How is that? The timing could not be better with your sister visiting your aunt and the spring planting finished."

"I know the timing is good; you have all told me that many times over!" Darcy rolled his eyes. "That is not the issue." You already know, but you are going to make me speak the words. Why must you make this more difficult?

"I know it is not. Why not tell me what concerns you?"

You know it as well as I do! "I am not fit for company, Bradley, I never have been."

"Yet you have surrounded yourself with dear friends in Derbyshire. This is not consistent with what you are telling me now." He still has no confidence with those he does not know. It is such a shame that he isolates himself when he is away from home.

"But I have known them all my life!"

"Are not the Lackleys only recently come to Derbyshire? If I recall correctly, he only purchased the estate two years ago."

Frustrated, Darcy raked his hand through his thick hair, "It is not the same."

"No, it is not. You met them in the Cooperton's home, surrounded by people you knew and were comfortable with. That made it easy for you to get to know them."

"Exactly!" The younger man sighed with relief. "Here, I am…I am so alone! I know no one. Bingley knows no one. What am I to do?"

Leaning back in his seat, the vicar extended his hands. "Let Bingley do what he has always done. He will soon know and love everyone here, and will smooth the way for you."

"I do not know." Stubbornly, Darcy shook his head, "I have safely delivered you here as I told you I would. I will see the house as I promised Bingley, then I will return home. Write me when you are ready to return, send an express and I will…"

"You will do no such thing!" Bradley rebuked sharply. "You are behaving like a child. It is time for you to stop. Really, Fitzwilliam, I think you have spent far too much time holed away on your estate. It is high time for you to get out and about. How will you ever find a wife…"

"A wife?" Darcy exclaimed incredulously. "Here in the quaint little village of Meryton, a wife? Surely you jest."

"You are right, I do not expect you to find a wife here. But it is a good place for you to practice those skills which will make you acceptable to young ladies of your standing. Do not look at me so offended! You say yourself you cannot make small talk. Practice! You do not like to begin conversations with those you do not know well. Work on that here. I remember you complaining that you would rather not dance with ladies you do not know well. Here is the place to become accustomed to doing it."

"You cannot be serious! At a country dance? To stand up with the girls here would be a punishment."

"Must I remind you that pride goest before a fall?"

Rubbing his temples, Darcy rolled his eyes. "You of all people know it is not pride…"

"I know, I know. You are shy, as was your father. I well understand. But I also understand how your father appeared to those who did not know him. Many thought him a proud, even arrogant, aloof man. I fear you will have the same reputation if you do not choose to take the time to practice these things that do not come easily to you." Bradley watched his companion's shoulders sag. "I find myself wondering, at times, young master, if shyness is not in itself a form of pride, elevating its own comfort and desires over others. You allow shyness to be your excuse to remove yourself from situations uncomfortable for you, regardless of what might be best for others, placing yourself above them. Shyness thinks of itself first and foremost. Is that not pride?"

Darcy hid his face in his large hands. "I will make a fool of myself. I have no love of being laughed at," he whispered. Is it possible I am truly proud and unfeeling to others? Do I really think only of myself? How can he accuse me of such?

"That is the beauty of a place where no one knows you. If that should happen, and I honestly cannot imagine that it would, but if it did, you could leave, and no one you know would be the wiser. The company here is not the company you keep in London. I believe that your reputation would be undamaged." Compassionately, he reached to clap the young man's shoulder. "The only way you learn to do something difficult…"

"Is through practice. I know. How many times have I heard you telling me that?" A wry smile turned the corners of Darcy's lips.

"How many times was I right?"

"Too many to ignore. I know you are right, but I do not have to like it." Worse still I fear you are right in your accusation as well.

"Of course you do not. I do not ever believe I told you that you did." They shared a soft laugh. "I believe we are approaching Mr. Pierce's cottage. He said it was on the outskirts of Longbourn estate. Yes, there, I see it." Bradley pointed out the window toward the neat cottage off the lane.

"It seems well kept," Darcy remarked noncommittally. "Are you sure you will be comfortable there? You are more than welcome to take rooms with Bingley and me at the inn."

"I appreciate your offer, and I will keep it in mind should the need arise. However, I have my own reasons for wanting to accept the curate's invitation."

"How better to get to know a man than to see firsthand how he lives?"

"Indeed. It seems you have listened well to this old man." He smiled fondly at Darcy.

The coach slowed to a stop. Slowly Bradley moved to disembark, allowing Darcy to exit first and help him down.

"I will send the baggage coach along with your trunk when I get back to the inn." Darcy watched as the cottage door opened and a pleasant looking young man walked out.

"I would appreciate that very much. Thank you for making this a much more pleasant trip. I am afraid you are spoiling me from traveling post!" Warmly, the vicar shook hands with his patron before turning to the approaching man. "Mr. Pierce, I trust?"

"I am indeed. Mr. Bradley?" He extended his hand warmly. "Welcome to my home."

"Thank you very kindly, good sir." Bradley shook Pierce's hand. "Now, I am certain I am in good hands, Darcy. It is high time you return to Mr. Bingley. I fear he will be sorely in need of your good sense soon."

"I am sure you are correct. Good day." He touched the brim of his hat and returned to the waiting coach.

Louisa Bingley allowed her brother to hand her down from the coach. Cautiously she looked around her. It does not seem a bad sort of place, I suppose. From the look of it, it is probably the best establishment in town. Caroline would declare it frightful! She would insist we immediately return to London. But I think it rather charming.

Bingley carefully watched his sister's face. "Are you disappointed, Louisa?" His hand gently lingered on her arm.

"Not disappointed, only surprised, I think. I did not expect Meryton to be so…quaint, that is all."

"Will you miss the diversions of London so very much?"

"I do not know really." She looked up and down the street, eyes flitting from one establishment to the next.

"You know I do not want to make you unhappy. I did not ask you to be the mistress of my home just to see you discontent with the role," Bingley insisted.

"Please, Charles, if you do not take this house, I will have to go back to London, with Caroline. As it is, she expects to accompany Mr. Hurst and me on our honeymoon. I dare say she will ask to stay on in our home after that. She is quite decided against living away from London after her visit to Derbyshire. This is the first, and maybe only, time I am able to…" Louisa stopped herself and pressed her lips into a tight frown.

"That you will have the opportunity to live without her?"

"Yes," she whispered, looking at the ground. She dug her toes into the soft dirt. "It is horrible to say, I suppose, but I…"

"You are happy for the opportunity?" He squeezed her arm encouragingly.

"Yes, I am. You and I, we have much quieter dispositions. We do not wish to argue. We prefer peace in our home. She always wishes to be heard, and will fight to get her way. She is reluctant to give way to anyone else. I find that I would like to see, if even for a little while, what it might be like to make decisions for myself."

Charles laughed softly. "I understand all too well. I cannot say that I was entirely disappointed when Caroline had so violent a reaction to Mrs. Cooperton's tutelage." I think perhaps I need to write a long letter to Mr. Hurst. I know he does not prefer Caroline's company and tolerates her only for Louisa's sake. Perhaps they are too accommodating to each other to speak their true minds on the matter. If he knew her true feelings, I think he would be only too happy to take a stronger stance with Caroline.

"You do not know the half of it, if the truth is to be fully told!" Louisa giggled. "You should have read her letters! I have rarely heard her so bitter."

"Then it is for the best. I expect the society here will be happy and gentle with us. It will suit us very well, I think. But it is likely to be far too tame for our dear sister. She is better off in London where she is. So then, let us make our arrangements at the inn. I believe I have a new landlord to meet."

"The Bennets are quite decent landlords," Mr. Pierce explained, handing Mr. Bradley a cup of tea. "Since I have not the use of the vicarage, they have made me feel very welcome here. Though humble, this cottage is well maintained, warm in the winter and dry in the rain." He chuckled contentedly, easing himself into a chair. "The rent is fair and perhaps, most importantly, they do not feel the need to come here looking for gossip."

With a knowing smile, Bradley nodded. "I believe I know the parishioner of which you speak all too well! They are resident in my parish as well." A man who does not complain about his landlord when given the opportunity is one I can appreciate. "So then, tell me of your vicar, Mr. Bell, I believe it is."

"Yes, that is he. Have you met him?" Bradley shook his head. "I will make sure that you do while you are here. I believe he is in Hertfordshire this month. He is a good man; certainly more than fair. He could have had me much more cheaply, I am afraid to say. But he believes that the worker is worth his wage, and is therefore very generous with me."

And he does not complain about his wage. Promising indeed. "So then, is he away from here often? Where does he travel?"

"London mostly. Many believe that he is soon to become a bishop. He spends much time with the church leadership there."

"Interesting. How do you feel about that, sir, your vicar becoming a bishop?" Bradley steepled his fingers and leaned his chin upon his fingertips.

"Does not the good book say that the eye is not a hand and the hand not a foot? Each should serve in the best way he can with the gifts he is given, without jealousy or envy?" Pierce peered into Bradley's eyes. Do you wish for me to criticize him? I am afraid I cannot oblige. "He is a gifted man in those very areas that will serve him well if he is made bishop. I will rejoice with him if he attains the post. I however, do not have those same gifts. I do not seek such an exalted rank, not having the gifts to serve in such a capacity."

Bradley nodded thoughtfully.

"I must ask a question of my own now. These questions of yours, I can see that they are quite intentional, but I cannot make out to what end. What are you trying to discern, sir?" Pierce leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers on the arm rest.

"You clearly received my letter, so you know…"

"I understand that you are looking for a curate. But I still wonder why you are questioning me. I already have a curacy, as you can see, so I am not a candidate for your position. If you would like a recommendation, I know of several young men, just japanned, who would very much appreciate the position you offer."

"Thank you, but no. I suppose I am a peculiar fellow. I was curate for my parish for quite a long time. I have only just taken the living myself. I feel rather…protective…of my flock. I find I have more work to do than I can manage on my own…"

That is interesting. He seeks an assistant, not a substitute. How unusual. "So, you are looking for someone to help you with what? Visitation? Preaching? Civic duties?"

Patience, my young friend, you will need to develop that virtue. But that only comes with time and experience, neither of which you have had enough of yet. "I will explain all that later. The crux of the matter is that I am looking for a like-minded man who I can raise up to take my place when the time comes. When the Good Lord calls me to His bosom, I want to depart this earthly vessel with the peace of knowing my people will be well shepherded."

"What is it you are looking for in such a man?" Pierce stroked his slightly stubbled cheek. I must admit, this fellow is not what I expected. But he is intriguing. There is something I like very much about him. "I am afraid I am not likely to be what you are looking for. Most find me rather unconventional, I fear."

A broad smile lit the old vicar's face. That is exactly why I am here. "Truly. In what ways, sir? I have been called that myself on more than one occasion."

Chuckling warmly, the curate shook his head. "Most recently, Sir William Lucas, our local knight, reminded me of it when he asked me again why I should write and preach my own sermons when there are so many perfectly good ones already written that I could choose from!"

"Pray tell, how did you answer him?" Excellent.

"I told him that I was hopelessly indecisive, and it was far easier for me to write my own than to choose from amongst the plethora already written. He seemed quite satisfied with that." Pierce chuckled softly.

It is difficult to dislike a man who can laugh at himself. "A good answer, I am impressed."

"But you have not given me an answer…what are you looking for? I do not wish for you to waste your time…"

"It is never a waste to take time to know a brother in the service of our good Lord. I hesitate to tell you what I am looking for though. A proud man would tell me he fits my description, even if he does not, and I fear a humble man would tell me he does not, even if he does."

"That is quite the quandary, I suppose. How do you mean to resolve it?" You are quite a puzzle Mr. John Bradley. I will indeed enjoy sorting it all out. Pierce lifted his eyebrow over his teacup.

"All I ask is that you allow me to get to know you. That will tell me what I need to know."

"An interesting request, all told, but I have nothing to hide. If you wish to know me, perhaps it would be best for me to introduce you to the parish. As the good book says, you know a man by the fruit he bears. It is my dearest wish that they be the fruit of my life, so in them, you will see me…" a small smile blossomed into a hearty laugh.

"Why do you laugh?"

"I find I am already rethinking my idea a bit. Little Billy Thompson might not be the shining example of my influence."

"Really? I think I would like to hear this story." Elbows on his knees, Bradley leaned forward to listen.

"Naturally." Blushing, Pierce recounted how the Bennet sisters discovered Billy's transgressions, but heir interventions also kept him from the magistrate. "As I said, perhaps not my most shining example…"

"I cannot say I agree with you. I find that a man's character becomes most clear when he is dealing with the mistakes of others." What a fitting and proper solution for everyone involved. "I think I would like to start with meeting the Bennets, and the Clays and Thompsons, if you are willing to make those introductions for me."

"All right, I will do that. But you must answer another question for me. If you decide that I am what you are looking for, why should I consider your offer? Surely you realize that I will not come cheap. I have the curacy here on very easy terms. Why would I be inclined to give that up?" Crossing his arms over his chest, the curate waited.

"A fair question. I am afraid I must ask you to wait on that answer though. I do not want the knowledge of that to sway you one way or another." You are not nearly so concerned with the salary I would offer you as you are trying to make me believe. You still want answers from me, but you will have be patient.

Pierce threw back his head and laughed. "You are certainly an odd man, perhaps as eccentric as I. But you intrigue me, I will wait. Will you let me know nothing of you in the meantime?"

"I can offer patron of my parish is visiting Meryton with his friend. His father was a dear friend, and his son is stepping into that role as well. You can learn a great deal about a man by knowing his friends." And it would answer another of my questions. I could never select a man who did not have Darcy's respect.

"Fair enough. I will look forward to the introduction."

"So then, you write your own sermons, do you? Tell me of what you last preached." Bradley settled into his chair, ready to enjoy pleasant conversation that would last long into the night.