37. Chapter 34: A Double minded man

Ch 34: A Double minded man

Lizzy sat in her father's study, staring at several open ledgers. The room held many warm memories for her, with more being added as her father brought her into his world of management and planning. Though challenging, she relished the opportunity to tackle something so new. During his absence, Lizzy had worked at his desk, but the furniture was too large for her much smaller frame, her feet not reaching the floor when she sat in his chair. So, on his return, he moved a smaller desk into the room for her use. Since then, they often spent their evenings working side-by-side in companionable silence.

Restlessly, she turned the page, only to flip it back again a moment later, sighing. I cannot concentrate! This is ridiculous! Exhaling heavily, she looked up from her books and focused out the window into the distance. The late afternoon sun streamed into the room, lighting a faded patch on the carpet. A fluffy orange cat slept curled up in the sunbeam, stretching languidly and rolling over to expose his belly. Lizzy laughed softly as she rose to pet the creature. His loud purr comforted her agitated spirits. I will take Mr. Darcy's advice and speak with Papa as soon as he returns. I do not know what I will say, but I will let him know my concerns.

She heard a door open and shut loudly, and instinctively looked up, seeking the source of the disturbance. The cat jumped to his feet and dashed from the room, yowling protests at the commotion. Moments later, Collins appeared in the doorway. Without waiting for an invitation, he strode boldly into the study.

"Excuse me, Mr. Collins, but this is my father's bookroom. He permits few into this room. I fear he would be displeased to find you here. I must ask you to remove yourself until my father is here to meet with you himself." She stood in front of her desk, heart beating more rapidly.

"I think not, Cousin Elizabeth." Collins stepped closer to her. "Have you considered what I spoke to you of earlier?"

"I have, sir, and my answer remains unchanged. I must honor my father in this matter, and I ask that you do as well." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I must ask you again to leave this room! Your presence here alone with me is highly inappropriate."

"My dear Miss Elizabeth, your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have indeed been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness." He smiled wryly, a lecherous glint in his eye as he leaned toward her. "Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

Lizzy's blood ran cold as the color drained from her face. Companion of your future life? I would not condemn a dog to such a fate! The only thing you ardently admire is the life of a gentleman that ownership of Longbourn would bring you. Her throat tightened as she tried to reply, stammering, "In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned." She stared at him intensely, her brow furrowed. "I have never desired your good opinion and have never knowingly done anything to seek it. Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me, I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them. I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone. It has been most unconsciously done, however, and I hope will be of short duration." She took a step backward, bumping into the desk. Quickly she side stepped, unconsciously keeping her escape route open.

He smiled and blinked as though not having heard her protest. Pressing a hand to his heart, he declared, "Before I am run away with by my feelings, I should state for you my reasons for choosing to marry. First, I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness." His eyes raked her body, leaving her feeling decidedly unclean. "Secondly, I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances to set the example of matrimony in his parish. Moreover, it is the particular recommendation of the very noble lady, my patroness. I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer."

I would certainly call it no advantage at all. "Upon my word, sir,'' cried Elizabeth, "your hope is an extraordinary one after my declaration. I am perfectly serious in my refusal. You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who would make you so."

"I am by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long,'' replied Mr. Collins, waving his hand dismissively as he reached for hers.

Lizzy shuddered, snatching her hand back. Lead me like a calf to slaughter! I would envy the animal's fate rather than follow you.

"I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application, and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character.'' How charming that you believe you can escape me.

``Really, Mr. Collins,'' cried Elizabeth angrily, taking another step back, "you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have just said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in a way to convince you of its sincerity." Although a few things John Lucas taught me come to mind.

Collins' tone turned scornful. "You must understand that your fortune is so small as to be insignificant. That will, in all likelihood, negate all your other charms. I cannot imagine that you, nor your lovely sisters, will receive another offer of marriage. So, I must conclude that you cannot be serious in your rejection of me. What else am I to think but that you wish to increase my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females?" He quickly crossed the distance between them, backing her into the bookcase that lined the far wall.

A large volume fell to the floor with a loud thud. Lizzy drew a deep breath, balling her hands into fists. Squaring her shoulders, she clenched her jaw. "I thank you again for the honour you have done me in your proposals, but to accept them is absolutely impossible. My father has strictly forbidden it…"

He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look in his eyes. "Your father is an old fool who has done nothing to care for his family. Has he not failed to provide a sufficient dowry for you and your sisters when it was in his capacity to do so? Has he not failed to bring you all out into London society to seek proper matches? Has he not allowed Longbourn to fall into such disrepair that it does not live up to its potential income so that when I inherit it, I will be materially harmed? This is the man that you insist on following? I offer you a home in the shadow of Rosings Park and an assurance of shelter and sustenance for your mother and sisters on his passing?" Collins growled furiously, his face turning blotchy red. "I had thought you a sensible woman, dear cousin."

She felt his hot breath on her face, the stench turned her stomach. "You will cease in your criticism of what you do not know! What know you of the care and love my father has shown us all? What know you of such things at all? You care only for yourself and your hopes for fortune. It sickens me that you should be a clergyman, for you fail in every regard to the task." She struggled from his grasp and tried to side step away from him, but found herself trapped in the corner. "My feelings in every respect forbid any form of union with you. Can I speak plainer? I will under no circumstances marry you.""And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting! I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus rejected?" He pressed still closer to her, his thick legs pressing hers into the shelves. Collins glanced over his shoulder. Where are the bloody servants? One should have walked in here to see this by now. He knocked another book crashing to the floor.

"You have reviled my most beloved father, insulted and criticized him in every possible way. Was not this some excuse for incivility, if I was uncivil? I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. No motive can excuse the unjust and ungenerous part you acted here." Her temper flared and her fiery eyes bore into him. "How can you call yourself a clergyman and yet counsel me to disobey and dishonor my good father? Have you no commitment to the principles that you teach? How can you defend such double-mindedness? In what imaginary act of friendship can you defend yourself? Under what misrepresentation do you continue to impose upon others? I pity the parish that is forced to suffer under your weakness of character.'' She roughly shoved him aside, whisking past him toward the door. ``You could not have made me an offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it.''

Collins whirled to face her, grabbing her hand and pulling her stumbling toward him.

"From the very beginning, from the first moment I may say, of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form that ground-work of disapprobation, on which succeeding events have built so immoveable a dislike; I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry," she hissed, heart racing wildly.

An evil smile crept across his face, revealing stained teeth. "You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings," Collins snapped. "But you seem under the delusion that they matter to me in the slightest. Since we are speaking plainly now, I will tell you I have no concern for your feelings one way or the other." He pulled her very close to him. "They do not matter, for you shall marry me."

"Never!" she spat, struggling.

Suddenly he grabbed her sleeve with his free hand and ripped her bodice. She shrieked. "Scream cousin, scream, bring in witnesses to this scene," he growled, pressing his face into hers to kiss her. Kicking him violently, she shrieked again. Shouting, he twisted her arm painfully.

"Mr. Collins!" a familiar voice shouted, followed by the sound of pounding feet. A moment later, yanked Collins off of Lizzy. "What are you doing with my daughter?" Bennet shouted, face flushed with rage.

"Good cousin," Collins' tone immediately shifted into his usual oily subservience. "I cannot imagine what you are thinking right now! Your lovely daughter tripped and, in my effort to rescue her, her dress was torn, as you can see. I realize her reputation is in jeopardy due to my carelessness. I can only offer my deepest apologies. I am prepared to make her an offer of marriage to preserve her good name, and that of her sisters." He smiled triumphantly, shaking away Gardiner's hands. "To assure you of the sincerity of my offer, we can discuss the details of the contract immediately if you wish."

"Father!" Lizzy exclaimed, opening her mouth to protest.

Pulling her into his chest, Bennet silenced her. "Not another word, Collins," he roared. "You will remove yourself from this house at first light tomorrow, and you will never set foot in Longbourn again. You are not welcome at dinner tonight, nor will you ever even be in the same room with any of my daughters again. If you make any attempt to speak with any of them, I will have you forcibly removed from this house, even if it is the middle of the night!"

"But I will marry her…" Collins stammered. "She must marry me! Look at her, she is indecent. No other will have her after this."

"Who will know of it, for it is only us here?" Mr. Gardiner countered angrily.

Collins whirled on Gardiner, sneering, "I will see to it that her indecorous behavior becomes well known."

"Silence! You do not know what you are talking about, you fool! You cannot damage her reputation without damaging your own. One word about my niece, and I shall have words with your bishop. He is a good friend of mine." Collins' jaw dropped. "Oh yes, he deigns to rub shoulders with those tainted by trade. He will not respond favorably to such behavior in one of his vicars."

"Someone must speak sense to him. You have already deprived your daughters of enough fortune to make a good match. Would you now deny your wife of her home upon your death? I will certainly not have a charity case in my home." Collins quivered in rage.

Holding Lizzy more tightly, Mr. Bennet gritted his teeth. "You will not have Longbourn, Mr. Collins. Be assured of that. My wife will never look to you for anything, sir. I pity anyone who does. Get out of my sight before I decide to put you out now."

"I will see him to his room and insure that he stays there." Gardiner grabbed him by his upper arm and dragged him from the study as Collins protested loudly. He closed the door solidly as they left.

Bennet held his daughter for a long moment, shushing her as she tried to speak. "There is nothing you need say, Lizzy dear. I understand too well the kind of man he is. He imposed himself on you abominably, but it will not leave this house. I will speak with Hill immediately. I will not see you or your sisters harmed by that fool."

"I told him to leave your study and that he did not belong here. I tried to end the interview, Papa," she whispered into his shoulder. "He insisted that I should marry him. I could not dissuade him."

"I know, my dear. I know." Bennet sighed, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I will not permit him to marry any of you under any circumstances, no matter what his machinations. Your Uncle Phillips and I will make this come out all right. Do not fear. I will see that fool out of our lives forever. I only wish I had been here before he could try to impose himself on you."

"It is not your fault. Who would expect such behavior from their own cousin? Who treats their own family with such contempt?" Lizzy pulled back to look in his eyes. "I am glad you are removing him from our home. I was going to speak to you this afternoon. The longer he has stayed with us, the more all of us have become uneasy around him, he… he frightens us, Papa."

He smiled wryly, "Does not your courage rise with every attempt to intimidate you?" He stroked her cheek tenderly and kissed her forehead. "Do not be afraid. He will be gone tomorrow. If my mother did not raise me as a gentleman, I would throw him out now, but it is too late for him to walk to Meryton before dark. I cannot turn such a helpless wretch of a man out that way. Just make sure all of you girls lock your doors tonight. Your uncle and I will stand watch with Hall. We will see to it that he does not trouble any of you again. I will not have you afraid in your own home ever again."

"Thank you. I will tell them. I know they will be as pleased as I am to hear it," she blinked back a tear, "especially after this afternoon. I should go to them, I know they must have heard the uproar and will be concerned."

He removed his coat and placed it over her shoulders. "Yes. Go upstairs and reassure your sisters that all is well. Then proceed and get yourself ready for dinner. Your friends are coming to join us, and there is no reason that you should not take the opportunity to fully enjoy yourself and put this unpleasantness out of your mind." With a warm squeeze of her shoulders, he turned her toward the door.

She paused, looking over her shoulder. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Mr. Bradley and Mr. Pierce will be joining us as well, Mary invited them just this afternoon. I hope that is acceptable to you, and the thought of more company is not too taxing."

"I cannot say I am displeased to have their company. It will be nice to have another old man to join your uncle and me," Bennet laughed gently. After what I have just seen, I cannot imagine someone I would rather keep company with. He sighed as he watched Lizzy's retreat. We will be free from that odious toad. After tomorrow, we will never be troubled by his presence again.