21. Bonus Chapter: Simon's POV

Simon's P.O.V.- (Saturday before everyone went out for brunch at the hotel together)

The first conscious thought I remember having that morning is "it's hot"; just "it's hot". I was lying flat on my back with my head turned to the side on one of my many pillows. The room was dark, thanks to the curtains still being closed. It was morning, though I wasn't sure of the time; I didn't set my alarm clock last night.

For a moment, I stayed there unmoving in a half-sleep daze, staring blurrily at the wall. Or I was until I felt this gentle pressure on my chest. Still thoroughly half-asleep, my head shifted in such a way to gaze forward, only for my back to suddenly arch and my hands to clench into fists.

Daphne! Daphne was there in my bed, laying on top of me! She had her head on my lower chest with one arm extended out. Her soft hand rested overtop where my heart was. She was sleeping like a baby, like this was the most naturally normal thing in the world. All I was able to do was to gawk for a sheer second or two, completely forgetting that this was a manifestation dreamed up by my mind. I truly believed that she was there, I was afraid to move so to wake her. My eyes winced shut and when they reopened, and my state of conscious fully alert now, I found myself in bed alone.

I sat up like a shot, glancing all around my room. When there was no sign of anyone, my hand tiredly raised up to cover one of my eyes. What the hell was that?! I've never dreamed of anybody before, never mind imagined them in my room. Something must be seriously wrong with me to dream of… of… The colour drained from my cheeks the longer I thought about it.

Holy shit! Daphne was in my bed! I dreamt of Daphne sleeping in my bed on top of me! Why the hell…?! Is it stress or trauma? Could it be…. sexual influences? My brain immediately gave me a mental hard kick at this. No, course not! We were both fully clothed in our pyjamas; plus, she was just laying on my chest… and nowhere else. And besides, I've never looked at Daphne and thought "I want to bang her" before! It's always been I've looked at Daphne and thought "man, she has the most beautiful smile. Why do I feel so happy… whenever I see that smile?".

My hand lowered and my eyes stared out into nowhere blankly. Nothing like that's ever happened to me before… Why now of all times? It was vivid; I could have sworn she was here in the room with me. The flush of her cheeks, the gentle flutter of her eyelashes, the scent of her hair…. My hand rose up to my chest where Daphne's hand had been.

It still felt warm…

Daphne… I bet this is all your fault! You're just too easy and effortless to be around, and you make me smile for no reason whatsoever. And now you're leaving on Monday… You're going so far away and we won't be able to see each other whenever we want. I won't be able to see you…. My hand still pressed up against my heart balled into a fist.

I shouldn't have told her all that stuff that night at the dance. Now she's going to go to Europe all confused. Or…. is it me who's confused? "It is easier for us to be protective… and protect you, than to stand by and anxiously watch you do it on your own. What you see as "controlling" I see as solving the problem. I'm not strong enough to look away and to simply trust…. Not anymore." I cringed inwardly. Oh god, did I really say that? She's going to think I'm some weak-willed idiot! She doesn't understand what I was talking about! Course she doesn't! She just thinks that men want to control her, when in reality…. My train of thought came to a halt. I blinked back up to the shut curtains where the window was and let out a sigh. Well, at least this is proof Daphne and I can never get married. Dad always told me marriage was a necessary evil; nothing but hard work one put up with for offspring.

Nothing about her was "hard".

The only thing that's difficult for me now is dealing with all these unsettled, unbridled emotions. I'm not falling in love with Daphne Bridgerton, am I? No, clearly not. But… Then again, I've never been in love before so I suppose I wouldn't know the symptoms. Not that it matters now, I guess. She's going back to Brussels and I'm going back home soon too. We'll keep in contact, but I don't expect it to go any further than that. Daphne will leave and I'll….. I stopped, my lips opening a sliver. Daphne's leaving…. She's leaving….. This cold chill suddenly ran down my spine.

That's when there was a knock at my bedroom door, making me jump a little. My trusted man servant, Charles Darby, opened it and popped his head in. "Morning, sir." "Erm, m-morning, Charles!" I shuffled the sheets around, trying not to look so dishevelled. Propping the door open with his shoe, Charles then brought in a tray full of breakfast items. As I watched him, my eyes drew over to the glass of water on one side of the tray. I don't know why but it grabbed and furiously held onto my undivided attention. The water sparkled in the sunlight when Charles pulled back the curtains, letting the sun shine into the whole room.

The longer I stared at it, the great this profound feeling overtook me. Water… Cups of water. Heh, that's like her trademark symbol now, isn't it? It was then my gaze lowered onto the glass. Daphne…. "Mmmmmm, you're right, sir. Sorry I don't recognize you; my brother's never mentioned you before." Daphne… "Good, cause I have zero interest in you either. Even if you are a devilishly handsome rouge." Daphne Bridgerton…. "I feel like I'm seeing a different side of you- gradually, I mean…. A softer side. We've never opened up and talked to each other like that before, like real friends…. I'm glad we have now is all."

Daphne.

"Ready to go, your grace?" Charles spun on his heels to face me. I cleared my throat. "U-Uh, yeah. Erm… Could you contact Professor Louis Brines please?" Charles blinked at me puzzled. "You're old Latin professor from Oxford? Sure, but….. On a Saturday? Whatever for?" "I need to call in a favour. Ask him if he knows of any history conferences or guest talks in the UK for this or next month." "History?" His eyebrow raised. I nodded. "That's right. Specifically Troubadourian history, if he can manage it. But anything focused on the Early Middle Ages should do." Charles faltered a little. "Uh, um, of course, sir. But… um, are you… sure about this? It's quite an imposition on Dr. Brines and you have no interest in history." "Just do it. Let me know what he finds- if anything." "Um, yes; of course, sir. Will there be anything else?" "No. That should be good for now. Thank you, Charles," I sent him a contented grin.

I still have no idea what's wrong with me. But all I know is that the thought of her flying away so soon makes me sick. It's like a thousand pounds on my shoulders, and I can't figure out why. After all, I swore to myself I'd never let myself fall in love. I'd been working on those walls surrounding my heart for years. They can't come crashing down just like that, without so much as making a sound. It shouldn't be possible. But I don't want her to go…. I feel like I'm drowning when her tide washes over me, and I enjoy it far too much. No, I don't want this; I don't like this.

I'm not ready for her to leave yet. Not just yet.