7. Chapter 7

It's Saturday night where I am and I'm a little drunk so hi enjoy. Hope you like it xo

Trigger warning for mentions of child abuse

The first week of having Kate in their lives flew by for Erin and Jay. Every day the little girl became more and more comfortable with the couple, tensing up less and even sharing bits and pieces of her past in passing. They learned that she spent most of her time alone when she wasn't forced to interact with the men who held her captive, and that she taught herself how to write after one Paul Jackson's regular prostitutes taught her to read. While her nightmares persisted, calming her down was easier. Kate was still reluctant to spend time away from Erin and Jay, but was comfortable with Voight, Platt and even Will.

Erin and Jay took the Thursday off to show Susan Perkins their home, confirming the woman's suspicions that Kate was incredibly safe in their care. The family then ventured to the preschool where Kate was introduced to Miss Carlson and the ten other four year olds who were going to be in her class. It had gone surprisingly well, Kate even cautiously interacting with one of the other little girls named Tara. The only setback was that preschool ended at 3:30 and the detectives never got out of work before five, and most days it was even later. Sergeant Platt offered to fill that void and bring Kate back to the district until they figured out a more permanent nanny or babysitter situation.

The outpouring of support from their friends and colleagues was a welcome surprise to Erin and Jay. Will visited twice and spent the night on the couch due to his dissolving relationship with Nina. He brought "Make Way for the Ducklings" along with him, which quickly became Kate's favorite book. Will started calling the little girl "Goosey" as a nickname, earning delighted giggles every time he saw her.

On the first day of Kate going to summer preschool, Erin and Jay were arguably even more nervous than she was. "Did you sleep at all last night?" Erin hissed as Jay yawned for the third time in as many minutes. He was leaning against the countertop, clasping a mug of coffee like it was his lifeline.

He shook his head and turned to her, "Did you?" Erin shook her head, accepting the mug from him and greedily drinking, "God, why are we nervous? I feel like that fish from the movie we watched on Friday."

"Finding Nemo?" Erin looked up at him, eyebrows raised. He nodded, pouring more coffee into another mug and wincing as he gulped down the hot liquid. "We gotta get going. Don't want to be late for her first day."

Jay nodded again, setting the mug in the sink. "Okay, Squirt, you ready to go?"

Kate emerged from the bathroom, wearing the same nervous expression that Jay did. Erin could have laughed at their similarities had she not been so anxious herself. "Are you excited?" Erin asked, forcing a big smile before putting a lunchbox in Kate's backpack.

The little girl nodded slowly, still not convinced that this whole pre-school thing was a good idea. She accepted a boost into Jay's arms and held her father tightly. "School's going to be so fun, Squirt." Jay reassured her, mostly for his daughter but also for himself and Erin, "And then Sergeant Platt is going to pick you up and bring you to the district to see me and Erin!"

"And I still come home with you?" Kate asked, looking for confirmation that she wasn't going to be abandoned.

"Yep. After Jay and I finish up at work, we'll all go home and have dinner, how does that sound?" Erin flashed a smile as Jay carried Kate down the hallway to the elevator. "And I packed you an extra special lunch for your first day."

Kate smiled for the first time that morning, "Strawberries?"

"Maybe." Erin winked, unlocking the car so Jay could get Kate into her car seat, "Jay, you have the backpack, right?"

"Yep." Jay put Kate's new light green backpack on the backseat next to the little girl. "We got the lunchbox, backpack, keys, wallet." He kissed Kate's forehead before gently closing the door and sliding into the passenger seat. "We are good to go."

Kate had come to live with them the first week of July. Five weeks later, she had made remarkable progress in her ability to trust Jay and Erin and meet new people. She was doing well in preschool, impressing the teachers with her ability to read and write far beyond what any typical four year old was capable of. Kate had even made friends with some of the children in her class and was becoming increasingly less nervous every day at drop off.

Erin was woken up by muffled noises echoing around the apartment. She opened her eyes to find Jay's side of the bed un slept in and cold. Erin sat up quickly but relaxed when she remembered that Jay had gone out for drinks with Antonio following his promotion, and that she and Kate had gone home and gone to bed early. Before turning over to fall back asleep, she heard it again. It was a whimper coming from the baby monitor on Jay's bedside table.

Quickly, Erin shed the covers and quietly padded into Kate's bedroom. The streetlamp softly illuminated the bedroom so that Erin could see her little girl. Kate was gripped by a nightmare, tossing and turning, occasionally letting a plaintive whimper escape her small lips. Her delicate features were screwed in anguish and her forehead was lined with sweat.

"Kate, baby," Erin sat down on the bed and gently shook the child's shoulder. The only aspect that hadn't changed in the five weeks Jay and Erin had Kate was the horrific nightmares she endured. Most nights had at least one, sometimes two, and Kate spent a few nights a week in the detectives' bed when she was too inconsolable to go to sleep alone. "Wake up, sweetheart, it's just a bad dream."

The little girl yelped in her sleep, abruptly pulling herself from the nightmare. Her eyes snapped open and she scrambled to the far corner of her bed, as far away from Erin as possible. "Hey, hey, it's just me." Erin comforted, tenderly touching Kate's knee. "You're okay. It was just a dream."

Kate's rapid breathing intensified until her wild eyes found Erin's. In an instant, Kate was in the young woman's arms. Her small frame shook as she clung onto Erin's neck for dear life, burying her face in her shoulder as sobs wracked her tiny body. "Oh baby." Erin cooed, rocking back and forth soothingly, "It's okay. I got you."

For a small person, Kate had a strong grip. She tightened her hold around Erin, tears leaking onto Jay's t shirt that Erin had worn to bed. Kate shuddered and whimpered again, attempting with all her might to press herself into Erin's figure. They sat on the bed in silence, Erin listening to Kate's harsh gasps as Kate slowly relaxed to the sound of Erin's steady heartbeat soothing her. When the little girl's breathing finally evened out, Erin carefully loosened Kate's grip. "No, no," Kate sniffed tearfully, clinging to Erin even tighter than before, "Please, no."

Erin sighed. The terrible nightmares the poor little girl was forced to endure always made Erin want to burst into tears and hold the child tight to take all the pain away. "I'm not leaving baby. Can I bring you to my bed?"

Kate shook her head violently. "I don't wanna sleep," she whispered, "I don't wanna sleep."

"Alright then, maybe can we go sit on the couch? Wait for Jay to come home, hmm? He should be back any minute now." Erin felt the child nod and carried her to the living room couch. She settled herself down, Kate snuggling into Erin's chest, clutching desperately at her pajama top.

Less than five minutes after sitting on the couch, the lock turned in the deadbolt and Jay entered the foyer. He was visibly exhausted, rubbing his eyes and moving slowly. He jumped when he caught sight of Erin and Kate on the couch. "Hi," he said, surprised, "What are you two doing up?"

"Bad dream." Erin murmured, lethargically running her fingers through Kate's hair. She turned her head to see her partner. "How's Antonio?"

He offered a smile. "He's alright." Jay made his way over to the couch and sunk next to his family.

Kate picked her head up from Erin's chest. "Hi Jay." she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

Jay managed a smile and ghosted his hand over his daughter's head. "Hi Squirt. Did you have a bad dream?"

"Uh huh," Kate breathed, relaxing into his touch. "I don't want to go to sleep."

"I understand that. But you seem really sleepy." He turned to his partner, who appeared equally as exhausted. "You didn't want to go to bed either?"

Erin leaned in next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I had a feeling you'd be home soon."

He pressed a kiss into the side of her head. "Well I'm here now. How about we all get some sleep before we have to get up again, eh?"

Erin nodded and attempted to rise. "Noooooo." Kate whimpered, tears making a reappearance down her pale cheeks.

"It's alright, baby. We'll wake you up if you start to have another nightmare, okay?" Erin stood and headed for Kate's bedroom.

"I want to be with you and Jay." The little girl whispered, swallowing another round of sobs.

"Shh, baby, I know. I was just getting tiger for you to snuggle with." Erin plucked the stuffed animal from the tangled bed sheets and handed it to the distressed child. "You're going to sleep with me and Jay, okay?"

Kate relaxed and allowed her body to slowly fall asleep. "I love you and Jay." she whispered as Erin set her on their bed. Erin looked over at Jay, tears shining in her eyes. She loved the little girl the moment she brought her home, and was so glad that Kate felt the same way. Jay and Erin had been telling Kate they loved her every night before bed, but Kate had yet to say it back or by herself.

"We love you too." Erin kissed her forehead before climbing into bed herself, wrapping one arm around Kate, keeping her close.

"We love you so much." Jay emphasized, leaning over to kiss Erin's lips, Kate's forehead and Erin's head before settling down. "We are just so glad you're ours."

"It is so hot." Erin panted, greedily gulping down the tall glass of water that Jay slid across the counter to her. She made the mistake of going for a run outside during the first week of August, when Chicago was arguably at its hottest. Despite going to bed late, Erin had risen earlier than normal for a Saturday, attributing the great night sleep she had to the little body that was nestled between her and Jay. Kate loved her, and Erin was absolutely over the moon. In five short weeks, Erin Lindsay had become a mother, a role she had never thought she could step into.

Jay had placed Kate on the countertop and was instructing her on how to make sandwiches. Erin grinned at the domestic scene in front of her, Jay carefully helping the little girl spread mustard on the bread and delicately place slices of cheese, tomato and turkey atop a bed of lettuce. "Little early for turkey sandwiches, isn't it?" Erin asked, wiping her arm across her sweaty forehead, "It's like, nine in the morning."

"We decided that we're going swimming today. Kate and I are packing a picnic." Jay flashed a cheeky smile at his girl, "Since it's boiling outside, I thought a trip to the pool might be fun." He ran a hand over Kate's head, "And we're going to teach Kate how to swim."

Erin nodded slowly, a smile spreading across her lips. "Okay then. Anything to get me in a bikini, huh, Halstead?"

"Please, babe, you know you want to see me in a speedo." Jay winked as a blush darkened Erin's already flushed cheeks. He turned back to his daughter, switching to what Erin had dubbed 'Daddy-mode'. "Okay, Squirt, excellent job with the sandwiches. Do you want to get changed into the bathing suit we bought a few weeks ago? I think it's in your dresser in the bottom drawer."

Kate nodded, appearing nervous all of a sudden. "I-I don't know how to put it on." She looked down at her hands, almost in shame, "I never been swimming before."

Erin felt her heart clench in her chest and swooped in, "Well, we are going to have to change that, aren't we?" She lifted the little girl and placed her on the ground, extending a sweaty palm, "How about I help you change, and then you can help Jay put the goldfish and apple slices into the picnic? Make sure he doesn't sneak any, hm?"

The pool was crowded on the Saturday morning, every family in Chicago seeming to have the same idea of how to beat the heat. Kate clutched Erin's hand tightly as they set their bags and towels down, glancing anxiously at all the people. "Don't worry, Squirt, this is going to fun." Jay reassured her, pulling a bottle of sunscreen out of the bag. He held it out to Erin.

"What's that?" Kate asked, alarmed. She recoiled at the sight of the bottle, unsure of what its contents held.

"This is sunscreen. You put it on your body so you don't get all red and burned from the sun." Erin informed her, pulling her t shirt over her head and tossing it into the grass, revealing a navy blue bikini top. "Look, I'll show you. Jay, put some sunscreen on my back, would you?"

"Mm." Jay replied, squirting the white substance into the palm of his hand and rubbing his hands together before spreading it across his girlfriend's shoulders. "See, Squirt? Nothing to be afraid of." He toyed with the clasp on Erin's back, earning a flick to the chest.

"Okay, Halstead, enough fun for you. Take your shirt off and turn around." Erin snatched the bottle from Jay's slippery hands and spread sunscreen across her boyfriend's back, sure to linger above the waistband of his board shorts. "Ready, baby?" she asked the little girl, who relaxed at watching both Erin and Jay brave the sunscreen. She winked at Jay, who threw his head back in frustration.

Kate held up her arms and allowed Erin to remove the sundress she was wearing. They had picked out an adorable little one piece for Kate a few weeks back, a pink and white polka-dot suit with tiny bows on the shoulders.

Jay leapt into the water with a splash, sending a spray of pool water all over Kate and Erin who were standing on the edge. Kate held stringently to Erin's hand, still nervously taking in her surroundings. There were lots of kids running around and jumping into the cool water, shrieks of delight heard from across the pool. "He's silly, isn't he?" Erin asked, watching as Jay came up for air and shook his head. Kate nodded, not taking her eyes of her father.

"Do you want to come in Squirt? The water's really nice." Jay gave the water a pat, sending more droplets toward his girls. He stood in the shallow end of the pool, arms outstretched with wide grin spread across his face.

Kate looked at him uncertainly and shook her head. "I-I changed my mind. I don't want to learn how to swim." Jay and Erin exchanged looks, unsure if pushing the little girl or allowing her to sit out would be the best course of action.

"Aw, come on now. You know you want to learn." He gave Erin a little splash. "I'm right here. Nothing's going to happen while I'm here. I promise." Jay smirked at his girlfriend, "Erin likes to swim too. Come on in, babe."

"It's okay, look, baby." Erin released Kate's hand and carefully slid into the water. She smiled up at the little girl, trying to convey how fun swimming was. "It's so refreshing."

"You won't let me get hurt?" Kate asked, taking a step closer to the edge.

"Nope!" Jay approached the side of the pool. "Erin and I are right here. You don't even have to jump in. Just hold tight to me, okay?"

Reluctantly, Kate managed a nod and wrapped her arms around Jay's neck. He lowered himself gently into the water, allowing it to wash over the little girl. "See, it's not so bad."

Kate let out a giggle, earning huge smiles from both Erin and Jay. "It's so cold!" She squealed, shivering slightly. "It feels good."

"You like it, baby?" Erin was in awe of Jay's ability to convince Kate to try new things. She thought that the little girl would back away, but Jay's insistence that she would be safe seemed to resonate. Kate nodded eagerly.

"Do you want to try swimming?" Jay asked, bouncing slightly in the water, Kate still in his arms. "It's really fun."

"You won't let me drown?" Kate replied, glancing up at her father's joyous expression. He shook his head. "You're not lying?"

"Of course I'm not lying!" Jay exclaimed, dipping lower into the water. "I'll be right here, and Erin is here too."

Kate let out a breath. "Okay, now what?"

Jay grinned. "Alright, now you're going to lie flat in the water on your back. I'll have my hand underneath you."

Kate did as he instructed. "Great job kiddo! Okay, I'm going to let go now, but I'm right here. Just push your tummy out, so you're floating. There you go, great job. Okay, here we go!" Jay took his hand away, keeping it inches from the little girl. "You're doing amazing, Squirt! You're floating!"

She smiled and reached out for Jay's hand. He pulled her back in and she held tightly. "I did it."

"You did!" Erin exclaimed, "We're so proud of you, baby."

"Do you want to try kicking your legs?" Jay asked, "It's just like floating, only you move." Kate looked skeptical but nodded. He placed her on her back, allowing the little girl to kick her legs.

"Awesome!" Jay clapped his hands as Erin scooped her up, "You're a natural, Squirt."

Kate blushed and looked up at Erin. "Now on my tummy?" The detectives exchanged glances, surprised that Kate was willing to continue.

"Sure! Are you okay with putting your face in the water and blowing bubbles out of your nose?" Jay demonstrated the action, "It's pretty easy."

"I can do that." Kate mimicked Jay, sticking her face into the pool. "I've done it before."

"Oh yeah?" Erin gave the little girl's tummy a tickle, "I thought you said you had never been swimming before."

"It's my first day," Kate told her, reaching up to wipe water droplet's off Erin's forehead, "But I used to practice blowin' bubbles and holding my breath in the bath because sometimes they'd hold me down there," Kate shrugged nonchalantly, "That's how come I know."

Jay felt his blood run cold at Kate's anecdote. "Uh, well, we're not going to hold your head under water, okay kiddo?" He swallowed thickly, "So it's not going to be scary."

"I know!" Kate smiled brightly, "I trust you."

"Ready?" Erin cleared her throat and finally found her voice, willing the tears that welled up in her eyes to abate, "You want to try to kick to Jay?" Kate nodded enthusiastically and put her face into the pool and kicked her legs, propelling her little body toward her father.

"Wow!" Jay brushed wet hair off Kate's face, "That was incredible!"

After just two hours in the pool, Kate had effectively learned to swim. She swam back and forth between Erin and Jay over and over again, impressing them to no end. While she wasn't ready to jump into the pool on her own, she squealed with delight as Jay tossed her in the air and caught her in his arms. When Erin finally convinced them to get out of the pool for lunch, Kate immediately fell asleep in her arms, cocooned in a beach towel. "This was an amazing idea." Erin said to Jay, who was lying flat on his back in the shade. He turned his head to face his girls, Erin resting against the beach bags with Kate snuggled against her chest, sleeping soundly despite all the other pool-goers around them.

"She was amazing. Who woulda thought she'd pick up swimming in less than two hours?" Jay propped himself up on his elbows, "And now we know why she was so afraid of the bath, for good reason."

Erin nodded in agreement, "She's a remarkable little person."