42. Chapter 42

Let me know if you're still reading/enjoying this story - work is super busy right now and I'm trying to be as timely as possible but it would be helpful to gauge interest in Erin&Jay given the fact that I am not really watching the show/ following anything that's happening.

Will peeled into the parking spot in front of Hank's house and sprinted to the front door, banging forcefully. Hank had called and sounded close to freaking out, saying that Kate was bleeding badly and that he needed his help. He rapped on the door and seconds later a frantic sergeant whipped it open, wordlessly gesturing to the living room where his granddaughter sat. Hank was holding a wad of bloody paper towels in his hands that Will could have sworn were shaking. "What happening?" he asked, quickly crossing into the living room and sinking down in front of the frightening little girl.

"She was sleeping and I came to woke her up and there was blood everywhere," Hank managed, standing awkwardly beside the sofa. Kate was holding a paper towel to her face, but it was crimson with blood.

"Can I take a look, Monkey?" Will asked, tentatively removing Kate's hand from her face. The little girl wasn't crying but appeared confused as she regarded her uncle.

"It's my nose," Kate explained, her tiny nose continuing to gush with blood.

"And in her mouth," Hank said, now kneeling beside Will as he tilted Kate's chin up, "There was blood coming out of her mouth."

"Well, the nose and mouth are connected," Will explained, "I think she's just got a nasty nose bleed. Have you been outside today?"

"We went sleddin'," Kate told him, "But I didn't get hurt."

"Sometimes in the wind and air can dry out your nose, and can make it bleed," Will pressed another cloth to Kate's face, "I know it looks horrible, but she's totally fine."

Hank exhaled and sat back on his heels, "So I called you over here for nothing?"

"It's all good," Will smiled and brushed some of Kate's hair off her face, "I'm glad you did call me, because I haven't seen this one in a few days."

Kate smiled despite the towel still pressed to her nose, "How come my mouth's all bloody?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in disgust, "It don't taste good."

"Your mouth and nose are all connected," Will informed her, "That's why it looked like you were spitting up blood, but it's really just blood from your nose, not like the last time."

"You scared me, kiddo," Hank said honestly, rubbing his chin with his calloused hand, "I'm glad everything's okay."

"I think the bleeding has stopped," Will said, removing the paper towel from Kate's face. While her nose had stopped streaming blood, her mouth and cheeks were tinged pink. "Do you have a cloth for her?"

"Mm," Hank rose and returned with a damp washcloth, "Can I wipe your face, kiddo?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, allowing Hank to gently wipe her mouth and cheeks with the warm cloth, "Uncle Will, you gonna stay and make pizza with me and Grandpa Hank?"

Will raised his eyebrows in surprise and glanced over at Hank, "Uh…"

"You should stay for dinner, you came all the way out here," Hank ceased wiping Kate's face, "And we have more than enough pizza dough."

"Yes, stay, Uncle Will!" Kate exclaimed, the brief drama from the last few minutes now completely forgotten, "We got pep-ronis and I know you like those!"

"It's true. I do love pepperoni," Will smiled, "Alrighty, pizza sounds delicious."

"Thank God that's over," Erin exhaled, flopping down on the hotel bed, "I'm beat."

Jay perched himself on the side of the mattress and ran a hand through Erin's hair, "I noticed that you kept closing your eyes. Does your head hurt?"

"I was just bored," Erin explained, "I thought I was going to fall asleep listening to that old sergeant from Denver talking about budgets. Who schedules a conference from Friday to Saturday? On Valentine's Day, no less." She turned her head so she could look at her partner, "I just want to go home."

"Me too," Jay replied, continuing to thread his fingers through his girlfriend's hair, "I miss Kate."

Erin propped herself up on her elbows, "Do you think we could catch a flight out tonight? I don't think Liv would care, she's got Noah at home, she gets it." She raised her eyebrows hopefully, "I know we were supposed to have a nice night together, but I miss our little girl."

"Let's get out of here," Jay said, pushing himself off the bed, "I'll call a cab."

Kate squealed in delight as Will not-so-expertly tossed the pizza dough in the air and caught it in his hands, flour flying all over the kitchen counter. "Careful, Halstead," Hank said gruffly, wiping the white powder from his forehead, "My kitchen looks like a drug bust we did last week."

"Sorry, sir," Will quickly replied, setting the dough on the tray, "Okay, Monkey, what kind of sauce for this one?"

"Pesto!" Kate gestured to the carton of green sauce on the counter, "And we put tomatoes on top?"

"Excellent idea," Will handed her a spoon and the carton, "Spread it nice and evenly. Awesome job."

"Daddy taught me how to spread," Kate informed him. She looked up at Hank, "When they coming home?"

"Tomorrow morning," Hank reminded her as he wiped down the counter. He glanced up toward the window and noticed that there was fresh snow falling from the sky, "Hopefully their plane won't be delayed because of the snow."

Kate widened her eyes, "Planes can't land in the snow, o-der wise they can crash." She turned to Will nervously, "What if that happens?"

"The plane won't land if they think it's going to crash," Will explained, "So it may not take off and they might be in New York for an extra day or two. But it's so that they're safe."

Tears filled Kate's eyes, "But-but I want them to come home."

"They will, kiddo, as soon as they can." Hank ceased his wiping and looked caught his granddaughter's watery gaze, "Hopefully they'll be here tomorrow, but if not, we'll figure it out, okay?"

"If Daddy's not here, that lady's gonna try to take me away again," Kate whispered tearfully, "I don't wanna go with her."

"It's okay, your Uncle Will's here, so that's not going to happen," Hank gestured toward the redheaded doctor in his kitchen, "You don't need to worry."

"I-I wanna call Mommy and Daddy." She looked from Will to Hank desperately, "Please?"

"Of course, kiddo. Let's just wash your hands, okay?" Hank nodded at Will, who took the half-finished pizza and placed it atop the stove so that there was room for Kate to wash her hands.

"I'm going to finish up the pizzas while you and Grandpa Hank call your parents, sound good?" Will directed his statement to Kate, though it was mostly for Hank's benefit. A call from Will would likely freak Jay and Erin out, but a call from Hank would be more expected.

Kate nodded and sniffed, tears abating slightly. Hank scooped her up and carried her to the kitchen table. He dialed Erin's number and waited for her to answer, but was sent straight to voicemail. "Hey, kid, just wanted to check in. We're making pizza and Kate wanted to say hi, but you're probably in a meeting so we'll try back later." He looked apologetically at Kate, "Sorry, kiddo, I think your parents might still be in a meeting, that's why they didn't pick up."

"But Mommy said her phone would always be on," Kate's eyes filled with tears again, "What if something bad happened to them?"

"I'm sure they're just fine," Will piped up, sprinkling the cheese atop the homemade pizzas, "I bet if we call right before bedtime, their phones will be on, okay?"

"Do you think she's still awake?" Jay asked Erin excitedly as she drove carefully along the snowy streets, "If she was napping today, maybe she hasn't gone to bed yet?"

"I told Hank to make sure she doesn't sleep too long when she naps," Erin mused, turning onto a more residential street, "But I hope she's up. I can't wait to see her."

"Hank called you," Jay glanced down at Erin's phone that was sitting in the cup holder, "I think when we were still in the air. Oh, God,"

"We're almost there anyway," Erin replied, "I hope everything's okay."

"Is that my brother's car?" Jay perked up when he saw a familiar vehicle parked outside Hank's house, "Oh, shit."

"Fuck," Erin breathed, quickly unbuckling herself and throwing open the car door.

"Careful, it's slippery," Jay warned as they hustled across the street and up Hank's walkway.

"There's a doctor inside," Erin scoffed as Jay almost slipped, "I hope it's not serious." She fished her keys out of her pocket and didn't bother knocking before pushing open the front door.

"Hank?" She called out, forgoing Camille's rule of wiping your feet before entering the house, "Kate?"

"Shh," Will poked his head out of the living room, "Welcome back guys."

"What are you doing here? Where's Kate?" Jay hissed. Wordlessly, Will gestured to the living room couch, where Kate was cuddled up to Hank. Both were fast asleep, a book open across their laps.

"That's cute," Erin smiled, relieved to see her little girl. She looked back up at Will, "What are you doing here?"

"Hank called me. Kate had nosebleed and he freaked, rightfully so, because it was nasty, but she's totally fine. It's just been dry out, that's all. Nothing to worry about. And then Kate invited me to stay for pizza, and these two fell asleep reading a story."

"Aw," Jay murmured, "Thanks for being here, man."

Hank opened his eyes and glanced up at Erin and Jay, who were standing beside the sofa, "Welcome back."

"Hey," Erin smiled, "How'd it go?"

"Not bad," Hank replied, stifling a yawn, "We had a little drama earlier with a nosebleed and she was missing you both pretty badly a few hours ago, so I'm sure she's going to be over the moon that you're back."

"Thanks, Sarge," Jay said appreciatively, unable to keep the smile off his face, "She run you ragged?"

"Just about," Hank rasped, "We had quite the day sledding."

Kate stirred slightly against Hank's chest and blearily opened her eyes. "Hey, baby," Erin whispered, squatting down in front of the couch so that she could see her little girl, "We're home."

The little girl widened her eyes and broke into a grin, "Mommy!" She threw herself into Erin's waiting arms, holding tightly around her mother's neck, "You came back!"

"Of course we did," Erin squeezed her daughter closer to her chest, "We missed you so much."

"Where's Daddy?" Kate pulled back, "You come back with him, too?"

"Absolutely," Jay grinned, moving from his position next to his brother over to in front of the couch, "Told you we'd be back."

"Daddy!" Kate squealed, reaching her arms up so that Jay could hold her, "I'm so glad you comed home!"

"We missed you too much to stay another night in New York," Jay kissed the top of his baby's head as he held her closely, "Did you have a fun time with Grandpa Hank?"

"So much fun, Daddy!" Kate pulled back so she could look up at her father, "Did you and Mommy see 'tenant Benson?"

"We actually skipped dinner with her so we could come home early, so we're very hungry," Jay booped Kate on the nose, "And it smells delicious in here."

"Me and Uncle Will and Grandpa Hank made pizza," Kate informed him, cuddling closer, "I missed you so much."

Jay beamed at Erin, "We're happy to be home with you, Squirt."

It was past midnight by the time the little family returned to their apartment building, Valentine's Day having come and gone. "I'm so glad you comed back," Kate murmured as Jay carried her down the hallway to their apartment, "I was only a little worried but I missed you."

"We missed you more, my love," Erin pushed open their apartment door, "But I'm glad you and Grandpa Hank had such a good time. And the pizza you made was so good."

"He makes pesto with Camille's recipe," Kate told her, "That's how come it's so yummy."

"She was an amazing cook," Erin mused, shedding her jacket and dropping her suitcase by the door, "What do you say we head to bed? I think we can sleep in a little bit tomorrow since Daddy and I don't have work."

"I snuggle with you?" Kate asked hopefully, glancing up at Jay.

"Of course," He kissed the top of her head, "Come on, babe, let's go to sleep. I barely slept in that hotel room."

"And not for the good reason," Erin grumbled, already shedding her sweater as she made her way to the bedroom, "I am so excited to be back in our bed with our girl."

"Mommy?" Kate asked over the chocolate chip blueberry pancakes that she and Jay had created, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Erin set her fork down and smiled at her little girl, "What's up?"

"You 'member when we had to test-fy against Big Joe?" She looked nervously up at her mother, who had widened her eyes in response to the question.

"Yes, sweetheart," Erin replied, "I do remember." She cast a glance over to her partner, who had also set his fork down and was listening intently.

"You know that he can't get you, right?" Jay said, "Joseph Pierce is in jail, and he's not getting out. I promise you're safe, Squirt."

"I know," Kate glanced down at her hands, "I worried 'bout Mr. Bowler."

Erin felt her blood run cold at the mention of the aggressive attorney. She looked over at Jay and suddenly realized where the conversation might be heading. "He's headed to jail too, actually. He was, uh, involved with part of what Mr. P and Big Joe were doing, so he's going to jail soon as well." She tried to force a smile, "He can't hurt you, baby."

"Okay," the little girl lifted her head slightly to meet her mother's gaze, "I'm worried 'bout what he said." She looked over at Jay and then back to Erin, "He was mean."

Jay took a deep breath and nodded slightly toward Erin, indicating that he would start, "You're right, kiddo, he was mean. And he said some terrible things about me and Mommy, things that he knows very little about and that he should not have said."

"Grandpa Hank said he was a liar," Kate whispered, "So what he said wasn't true?"

Erin closed her eyes briefly, trying to wrap her head around the fact that her four year old daughter was going to learn about her many failures as a person and as a detective. "Some of what he said was true," she started, "But he doesn't know the whole story, but if you'd like, Daddy and I can tell you."

Kate looked from Jay to Erin worriedly, "I only 'membered he said those things when that lady tried to take me from Mommy. I-I don't want you to be mad."

"We're not mad at all, sweetheart. You were told some things about us, and it's perfectly alright that you have questions," Jay smiled slightly, "You can always ask us about anything, okay?"

She nodded and glanced down at her hands again, "Mr. Bowler said you killed people. When you were in 'f-gan-istan."

Jay reached across the table and placed his hand on Kate's fingers, "So when I was in Afghanistan, I was fighting a war. There were some bad people over there who had come to the United States and killed a lot of people, and I was over there to make sure that they wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else." He took another deep breath, "And while I was there, some of the Afghan people were upset with us, and placed bombs on the sides of the roads, and would try to shoot us." He swallowed, "And sometimes, they would take people on my team and hold them hostage, or even kill them. And because those people were bad, they would use kids to try and protect themselves."

He looked over at Erin sadly, "And uh, one time, one of my guys was being held by this very bad man. And I needed to get my friend back, so I had to shoot the man who was holding him," Jay paused, "And the bullet went through the man's neck and hit the little boy behind him." He grimaced, "I never meant to kill him, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Jay tried to read his little girl's expression, but she was just staring at him intently, "Those times in Afghanistan are the reason why I have bad nightmares sometimes. I went through a lot of tough stuff over there, and I never wanted to kill anybody, but sometimes I did what I had to do."

Kate nodded slowly in understanding, "You…you kill people now, too?"

He winced, forgetting how good his little girl was at putting two and two together. "Um, yes. Only when they're firing at me or someone on my team. Same goes for what happened in Afghanistan, I've only fired my gun if someone was in danger." Jay wracked his brain trying to think of an example that would resonate with his daughter, "Last year, there was a group of people who were breaking into homes and hurting families. And the woman pretended to be hurt so that we wouldn't know about her crew, so Mommy went to talk to her. And while Mommy was there, one of the men tried to hurt her. And I found her in time, but the man had a knife. And I didn't want him to hurt Mommy, so I shot him." Jay shuddered slightly, recalling the horrific sight when he killed the guy who had a knife against Erin's neck, about to rape her. They had only been dating seriously for a month or two, but he never forgot how scared he was that he was going to lose his girl.

"You only do it 'cause you're protecting people?" Kate cocked her head slightly to the side, "Same with Mommy and Grandpa Hank?"

"That's right," Erin finally found her voice, "Only if someone is threatening us or our unit do we ever shoot them. And we don't like to have to use our weapons, but sometimes, to protect people, we do."

Kate breathed a sigh of relief, "So Mr. Bowler was trying to trick me? To make me think that you were bad?"

"Yep," Jay confirmed, "He was trying to scare you. But I promise, Mommy and I would never hurt someone unless they were threatening someone."

"I'm glad," Kate looked up at Erin, the soft smile fading from her lips, "He also said really bad stuff about Mommy."

"I know," Erin managed, "Uh, a lot of what I used to do had to do with my mom, but a lot of it was also my fault, okay? And I'm really sorry that you had to hear about it from Ed Bowler, but I need you to know that I don't do any of it now."

"You don't gotta tell me if you don't want to," Kate rushed out, pushing back her chair, "I-I don't want you to be sad."

"It's okay, baby, really," Erin reached a hand out, "I think that you deserve to know, especially since you've already seen so much, and that you heard about it from Bowler." She looked to Jay as if to ask permission to share her past experiences with the little girl.

"Why don't we go sit on the couch?" Jay suggested, standing up, "We can clean the kitchen a little later." He crossed into the sitting area and plopped down, indicating that Kate should join him. Erin sat beside Jay, while Kate sat nervously in the opposite corner.

"I don't want you to be mad at me," Kate whispered, "I-I'm sorry I asked, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, sweetheart, it's fine," Erin smiled, "Really. I want you to hear the truth from me, okay?"

The little girl nodded slowly, still appearing incredibly anxious. "So, I've told you a little bit about my mom, Bunny, and that she wasn't really around for me when I was growing up, right?" Erin started, Kate nodding again in confirmation. "Bunny, uh, was never a good mom. She did a lot of bad things-"

"Like the drugs?" Kate asked, "That's what she used to do with Mr. P."

"Yes," Erin confirmed, taking a breath, "She, uh, used to do a lot of drugs, and she uh, always had some guys around. And sometimes those guys weren't nice to me and one of them, when I was a few years older than you, got me to start selling drugs so that we could keep the lights on in the apartment." Jay squeezed Erin's knee gently in reassurance, "And I started doing drugs too. And the thing with drugs is that once you try it, you get hooked, and you need it."

Erin swallowed, trying to keep the tears at bay. She hated that she had to explain this to a four-year-old, and hated even more that her little girl probably understood everything she was hearing. "And drugs are really, really bad for you. They make you do things you don't want to do, and they can make you sick. And Grandpa Hank, he found me one time and he gave me his card, and said to call him if I wanted an out. So eventually I did, and I went to live with him and Camille and Justin. And they helped me stop taking the drugs, helped me through school and helped me get into the Police Academy."

"And you don't do drugs no more?" Kate asked quietly, slowly processing the history that Erin had relayed.

She shook her head, "Nope. No drugs." Erin paused and sucked in a breath, "But, actually, um, a few years ago, I had a bit of a slip up. And it was actually Daddy who came and got me and helped me."

"H-how come?" Kate whispered, appearing to have relaxed slightly.

Erin closed her eyes briefly, feeling Jay's hand tenderly tracing circles on her lower back, "I don't think I've ever told you about my friend Nadia, have I?"

Kate shook her head, "One time, when you were sleepin', you said her name."

Erin smiled, tears welling in her eyes, "Well, she was like a little sister to me. And she was into some bad stuff, like I had been, and I wanted to help her. And she got better and even worked in Intelligence for a while, until, um," Erin paused, unable to complete the sentence.

"There was a very bad man who hurt Nadia," Jay supplied gently, "He did some horrible things to her and he killed her. And that man is dead now, but he managed to hurt a lot of women."

"It made your heart hurt," Kate said softly, "When he killed her."

Erin nodded, a few tears creeping out of the corners of her eyes, "You're right. It did. And um, I wasn't strong enough to say no when I was offered drugs. But um, your daddy here, saved me." Jay kissed her temple, bringing a hand behind her head. "And I'm so glad he did."

Kate scrambled up from her position on the opposite end of the couch into Erin's lap, squeezing her mother tightly. "I even more glad, Mommy. You and Daddy are the best thing to ever happen to me."

"How are you so perfect?" Erin kissed the top of Kate's head and looked up at Jay, "How did we get so lucky?"

Let me know your thoughts - I can wrap it up or make it a bit longer, but I want to make sure people actually like it so if not, I can do something more people would be into :)