63. Chapter 63

Ah, wow it has been a while (a whole month)! So sorry for the delay - I have been working non-stop and finally logged on. Thanks for all your reviews and messages of encouragement because they really helped me get this one out. I'm glad to know people are still reading. Hopefully the next update will be quicker. I hope you enjoy!

"And they've got him in custody?" Jay asked into the receiver, resting one hand on the steering wheel while he sat in the district parking lot. While Erin had thought and hoped that she would be getting onto a plane to Chicago that evening, an unexpected turn in the case required her presence.

"And he's got really loose lips," Erin replied dryly, "He tipped us off to three of his suppliers in upstate New York, and I'm pretty sure he's going to let it slip that they're using the same suppliers to traffic girls."

"Damn," Jay breathed, "And all the product is funneled through Chicago from Canada?"

"Uh-huh, and they get girls on the way as the product moves." Erin paused and heaved a sigh, "I um, don't know if I'll be tonight or even tomorrow. I'm hoping to be back before the weekend."

"We'll be happy to have you back," Jay said honestly, looking in the rearview mirror to the empty car seat behind him.

"How's she doing? Did drop off go okay today?"

"She's alright." Jay rubbed his chin tiredly, "Just…uh, missing her mom."

"You picked her up early because she hadn't slept, right?" Erin blurted out, unable to keep it in any longer, "She's not sleeping?"

"It's not your fault, babe," he replied calmly, "She just needed a nap. We both did, and she slept on your side of the bed last night. We're doing okay."

"I'm not sleeping either," Erin choked out, the raw honestly evident in her voice, "I-I had the hotel send me ten pillows last night."

"Oh, babe," Jay felt his heart clench at his partner's display of sheer vulnerability, "I can be on the next flight out if you want me to be."

"No, no," Erin shook her head, "I just miss you two, that's all. And…and it's just hard. You know, to be here, to be on this case and be away from you and from Kate." Her breath hitched, "And I miss Nadia."

Jay was quiet, just allowing his girl to be honest with herself. After a beat, he repeated, "I can be on the next flight out."

"I'm okay, really," Erin sniffed, "It's good to hear your voice. And I'm coming home as soon as I can."

"You'll call if you want me to come though?" Jay closed his eyes, waiting for his girl to answer. He desperately wanted to board a plane to New York against her wishes, but he couldn't leave Kate and didn't want Erin to think he didn't trust her. He did, but he was worried.

"Promise," Erin said quickly, "I better get back but I love you. C-can you call again after you pick Kate up? Don't want her to think I've forgotten about her."

"Of course," Jay smiled, "I love you."

"Mommy getted on the plane, right?" Kate looked up at Jay expectantly, a streak of chocolate frosting across her cheek, "She comin' home?"

"Yep, she sent me a text right before take off and said that she would be home hopefully right before your bedtime." Jay wiped Kate's cheek with a damp paper towel, "But even if she's a little later, I'm sure she's going to come give you a kiss good night." He paused, glancing down at his little girl's knees. "How are your knees, Squirt?"

Kate shrugged dejectedly, recoiling slightly when he reached a hand out. Jay frowned, "Still hurting?"

"What if we took Goose to the park for a bit?" Jay suggested, tapping both hands on Platt's desk and peering behind to see his little girl and her dog friend sitting side-by-side. Goose was looking over Kate's shoulder as she read a book, occasionally putting his nose on her cheek to reminder that he was still there. He perked his head up at the mention of the park.

"You got the tennis balls in the car, Daddy?" Kate looked up excitedly, "For Goose to chase?"

"You bet," Jay nodded, a grin spreading across his cheeks as his little girl scrambled to her feet.

"I get my coat!" She exclaimed, scurrying toward the back room. Goose looked from Jay to Kate, tail wagging rapidly. The second Kate left his line of sight, the large dog lumbered after her, intent on having eyes on his little master at all times.

"He's good with her," Platt mused, "You gotta have him back by five though, there's a mandatory training that Garcia's taking him to."

"Understood," Jay said, unable to keep the smile off his face as Kate rushed back, Goose on her heels. "Slow down there, kiddo."

"I'm excited Daddy!" Kate squealed while he clipped the leash to Goose's collar, "Did Sergeant Platt tell you 'bout Goose's trainin' today?"

"You bet," he confirmed, taking her hand in his, "We'll have him back in time, I promise."

"We gotta make sure Goose keeps his certi-cation," Kate informed him. "Cause if he doesn't, then he can't be a police doggy no more."

"You're right," Jay boosted the little girl into her car seat. "Car, Goose."

The dog jumped into the car, squeezing under Kate's legs and settling himself in the backseat next to the child. "Good boy," Kate praised, reaching a hand to give him a pat while her father fastened the buckles on her seat, "He's gonna do a good job."

Jay absolutely loved listening to Kate talk about Goose. She was so animated and excited, informing Jay all the new things she was teaching her dog with the books she was reading.

The park was mostly empty because it was the middle of the day, but it didn't seem to bother Goose. He bounded after the tennis balls, happy to indulge Kate as she shrieked with delight every time he caught them in mid-air. As Jay let the ball slip off his fingertips, he wished Erin was there beside him. While watching his daughter and the dog play in the park was good for him as well, he knew that Erin could use the same kind of relief. There was something so innocent and simple about the two interacting that made all the pain and abuse behind her eyes fade, and allow her just to be a little girl again.

A sharp cry drew him out of his reverie. In an instant, Jay was racing toward his little girl, who had taken a tumble on the ground. "Hey, hey, hey," he rushed out, sinking beside his trembling child, "What hurts, kiddo?"

Kate burst into tears, glancing down at her jeans which had torn at the knees. Her skin was raw and bleeding from the cold, hard ground. "Oh, Squirt, it's okay," he said, stroking her hair back, "You're okay, you just took a spill." He glanced around, realizing that Goose was literally right behind him, clearly concerned for his tiny master. "Look, Goose is worried about you too."

"I want Mommy," Kate sobbed as Jay carefully examined her knobby knees, "I want Mommy."

"I know kiddo," Jay soothed, "How about we head back to the district and get you cleaned up there, huh? I think Mommy keeps a change of clothes for you in her locker too."

"I want her," Kate whimpered, shrinking back as Jay leaned forward to pick her up, "I want Mommy to come home."

"She is, soon," Jay promised, stroking her cheek, "But first let's take a look at those knees and get them cleaned up, okay?"

Jay felt helpless as he drove along the street. His little girl had not ceased crying, and she desperately wanted her mother's comfort. Goose appeared distressed at Kate's situation and quickly headed each of Jay's commands while he carried his daughter back to the district.

"I want Mommy to come home," Kate whispered while she sat on the counter in the break room, her father gently dabbing her skinned knees with a wet cloth, "I want her to come home now."

"I know kiddo," Jay tried, at a loss for how to comfort his daughter. As if on cue, Erin's name flashed across the screen. "Hey babe," he answered breathlessly.

"Hi." Erin's voice came woeful over the speaker. "I missed my flight."

"Oh, man," Jay ran a hand over his face. "You alright?"

"I'll just be a few more hours," Erin swallowed thickly, "I-I'm going to get on the next flight out. I need to come home. It's been a…long day."

"I get it, babe," Jay replied softly, wishing desperately that he could physically hold his girl, "We'll be waiting okay?"

"She not coming home?" Kate asked, tears filling her eyes after Jay hung up, "Mommy's not coming?"

"She is, kiddo, I promise. She's getting on the next plane, but she should be home soon."

Kate burst into a fresh set of sobs and covered her face with her shaking hands. "I want her," she choked out, "I want Mommy."

"I know," Jay stroked her hair, "I know, I want her to come home too. I know you're missing Mommy snuggles right now, huh?"

Kate nodded tearfully, "How come she's not coming?"

"I think she just missed her plane, kiddo. But I think she'll get on the next flight she can."

A day later and Erin was finally able to get a flight out. There had been an unexpected development in the case that set them back, so she was forced to stay. She had been gone a whole week in New York, and Kate was seriously missing her mom. Jay didn't have the heart to drop his exhausted, sad little girl off at pre-school Friday morning, and instead brought her to the district. Sitting with Goose only helped so much, and he was counting down the minutes until Erin was back.

He and Kate were preparing a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting for Erin's return, but the little girl was fading fast. She had barely slept the past few nights (as had Jay). "I just miss her," Kate whispered honestly, rubbing her eye with the hand that wasn't holding the spatula, "I think Mommy misses us too."

"You're right," Jay mused, brushing the hair out of her eyes, "What about if we pop this cake in the fridge, and watch a movie, hm?"

"Mommy will be home after?"

"I hope so," Jay kissed her forehead, "Let's brush our teeth first though, hm?"

Unfortunately, Erin's flight got in later than expected. Jay heaved a sigh of relief when he realized his little girl was already fast asleep before her bedtime, so he tucked her in gently and hoped she would sleep through the night. Just as he was closing the door, the front door opened and in walked his partner.

"Hi," Erin rasped, dropping her bag to the ground and quickly closing the gap between her and her partner.

Jay breathed deeply, holding her close. Oh, how he had missed her.

"I missed you, babe," Jay whispered into her ear, sending goosebumps up her arm, "So much."

"You have no idea," she mumbled, leaning into his embrace, "She asleep?"

"Passed out," Jay confirmed. "But I promised you'd be in for a kiss goodnight."

Erin smiled and quietly padded to the bedroom. Jay watched from the doorway as she pressed a kiss in her daughter's hair and stroked her soft cheek, careful not to wake her sleeping angel.

"Long week, huh?" She said, settling herself on the couch after giving her daughter a kiss goodnight, "Fill me in, what happened?"

Jay kept the conversation pretty high level, choosing not to delve deeply into how little he and Kate slept, how she cried out for her mother and how upset he was that he couldn't comfort her like Erin could. He did mention how grateful he was that Kate had someone like that to want for, to know what a mother's love felt like and to have a partner who could bring their little girl so much.

Erin tearfully listened and recounted the case, snuggled up against her partner. She was reminded of just how well the two of them fit together, like pieces of a puzzle, as they sat together on the couch, mulling over the past few days of each other's absence. "Skinned knees?" Erin asked, "Poor thing."

"She's tough, but she wanted her mom," Jay said, threading his fingers through Erin's hair, "Nothing like Mommy kisses."

Erin smiled wistfully, "I'm so glad to be home, babe."

Jay awoke abruptly after Erin's arm hit him square in the chest. "What?" he mumbled lazily, his mind still foggy with sleep. He dragged his eyes open when he felt the body beside him flinch violently.

It took him a minute to realize that she was asleep, caught in what appeared to be a traumatic nightmare. Jay gently touched his partner's arm, but she pulled it against her chest, head twitching in distress. They had fallen asleep on the couch after watching a movie, absolutely exhausted by the long week of work and gut-wrenching case. The DVD screen shone brightly as Jay opened his eyes wider. "Er," he mumbled, blearily reaching his hand out again. Frantically, Erin swung her arm again.

"Stop!" she cried out, startling herself awake in the process. She inhaled sharply and promptly burst into tears, covering her face with her palms. Jay sat up quickly, unsure how her nightmare had escalated so quickly. He glanced over to Kate's bedroom, thankful that his little girl had been fast asleep.

"Erin," he said softly, brushing her hair off her face, "It's alright. You just had a bad dream."

Erin's shoulders shook as she buried her face in her hands, unwilling to pry her fingers away from her face. "Do you know where you are?" Jay asked her slowly, glancing around the dim apartment and while he gently rubbed her back, trying to ground his partner with his touch.

She let out a strangled sob and pressed a hand to her mouth. "We're in the living room." Jay switched the lamp on next to the couch. "We're okay. Kate's okay, I'm okay, and we're all home. You're in Chicago, babe. It's okay, take a deep breath."

Erin shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. She took another breath, but punctuated it with a sob. Jay furrowed his brow and brought her closer, allowing her to bury her face in his neck. Hot tears sluiced off her cheeks and down the collar of his t shirt as Erin tried to compose herself. "Do you want to tell me about it?" Jay attempted, tucking her soft hair behind her ear.

Erin shook her head, her face still pressed into the crook of Jay's neck. She took shuddery breaths as Jay continued to rub her back, making circular motions with his gentle hands. "It's okay," he repeated, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, "You're back. We're together."

"S-s-sorry," Erin managed, titling her head slightly, "I know you haven't slept either."

"I'm just happy to have you back," Jay replied honestly, kissing the top of her head again, "You okay?"

"Mm," she replied, snuggling closer so Jay could adjust her in his arms, "It was about Nadia."

"I'm sorry," Jay murmured, threading his fingers through her hair, "I'm sure being in New York didn't help."

"Neither did being away from you and Kate." Erin reached her hand up to touch Jay's cheek, "Be honest. Did you sleep while I was away?"

He took a breath. When Jay was being honest with himself, he hadn't slept the past few days, and neither had Kate. Upon realizing that his little girl was lying awake at night, Jay had barely been able to close his eyes. Instead, he watched his daughter's chest slowly rise and fall, and comforted her through a multitude of tragic and heartbreaking nightmares. Although he was able to coax her back to sleep, it didn't change the fact that her mother, the person who she woke up crying for on more than a few occasions, wasn't there to kiss her hair and wipe her cheeks. And to make matters worse, Jay could sense that his partner, over a thousand miles away, was lying awake as well, presumably tossing and turning just the same. So no, Jay didn't really sleep while his girl was away. But he knew that being fully transparent with her would make her hurt more.

"I slept some," he whispered hoarsely, eyes cast downward, "But I think we both were really missing you."

Erin nodded, silently understanding her partner. She hardly slept in New York, haunted by the memories of Nadia and Yates and rescuing her daughter. The city itself felt like a bad dream, and working the case wasn't helping.

"You're exhausted," Jay said finally, ghosting his hand over her tear-streaked cheek, "Do you want to go to bed?"

"Not really," Erin mumbled, settling back against his chest and squinting slightly from the harsh blue light from the DVD screen, "'m fine here."

He chuckled lightly and ran a hand over her head, "Sounds good to me. Why don't you try to go back to sleep?"

Again, Erin shook her head. It took a moment, but her green eyes locked on his blues, full of raw honesty, "I…I can't." Her voice cracked slightly, "I'm just…scared."

Jay swallowed and held his girl impossibly tighter to his chest. "I know, babe." He paused, "But we're together now. And Kate's right through that door, sleeping soundly."

"What if we get her?" Erin asked, "Bring her to bed with us?"

He smiled at his partner's proposition and nodded, "Sounds good to me."

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