75. Chapter 75

Peep the note at the end!

"Hi babe," Erin croaked, tears welling in her eyes as she found his baby blues, "Missed you."

In that moment, Jay had never been happier to hear that raspy voice. "Erin," he choked out, jumping out of his chair to press a kiss to her forehead, "Babe." Tears streamed down his cheeks before he could stop them. He kissed her again, not believing that she was awake, breathing, alive, "Thank god."

She coughed, her throat raw from the tubes and oxygen. That hurt, sending the stabbing pain in her shoulder down her arms and body. Jay immediately detected her discomfort as he was pouring a cup of water for her to clear her throat. "Oh, Er," he whispered, bringing the cup to her lips, "I'm so sorry."

Erin sipped carefully, her entire body throbbing, "'m okay."

Jay shook his head, wiping off her cheeks with the pads of his thumb. She didn't realize that she had been crying. "I can tell that you're hurting. I'm going to grab a nurse and-"

"Mommy?" Kate tiredly lifted her head off Hank's shoulder, interrupting Jay's statement, "Mommy?"

"Hi, baby," she managed, offering the biggest smile she could muster, "There's my little girl."

Kate practically leapt off Hank's lap, waking up the sergeant in the process. She rushed to her mother's bedside, but stopped short next to her father, recognizing immediately how much pain Erin was in. "I'm so glad you're awake," Kate whispered, holding fast to Jay's jeans, "So glad."

"Me too," Jay echoed, placing a palm on the top of Kate's head. Tears were swimming in Erin's eyes as she tried to maintain the smile, knowing that her little girl was afraid to touch her. She lifted her non-injured arm toward her daughter, trying to convey that she was okay. Kate glanced up at Jay, as if to ask her father if it was okay to touch her mom. She gently reaching out a hand to touch her mother's arm after Jay nodded his approval. "We just gotta be gentle with Mommy for a bit, Squirt," he advised, still holding her hand that was free of the IV cable.

"I'm so happy to see you," Erin replied. She sniffed, the tears still leaking out of the corners of her eyes. Through her tears, she could see Hank standing behind her partner, looking equally as troubled as Jay. "I'm okay."

"You're gonna be just fine," Hank said gruffly, leaning over Kate to stroke Erin's cheek, "You're a real fighter, kiddo."

Her eyes drooped, exhaustion seeping into her bones as Jay rubbed her hands. Hank mentioned that he was going to find a doctor as she fought to keep her eyes open. Jay's gentle gestures were helping abate the pain, but not by much. She dozed slightly as Jay quietly explained to Kate how her mommy had gotten injured. The little girl listened intently but didn't ask any questions, just regarded Erin concernedly. "I'm gonna be fine, baby," Erin told her gently, "Really." She offered another tired smile.

Hank returned with Choi in tow. Kate, immediately recognizing that her father would want to focus his attention on her mother, reached out to Hank, silently requesting he lift her up. Jay nodded gratefully at his sergeant and future father-in-law as the older gentleman scooped up the little girl and allowed her to rest on his shoulder.

"Nice to see you awake, Erin," Choi greeted, stepping before the bed to flash his small flashlight into her eyes. Erin winced at the harshness and recoiled, letting a hiss of pain slip through her lips, "How's the pain?"

"Not great," she mumbled after noting both Hank and Jay's pointed looks instructing her to tell the truth, "I'm alive though," she added dryly.

"You are. Had us worried for a bit with the blood loss," Choi informed her, crossing his arms across his chest, "The anesthesia should be wearing off, and you're likely going to be tired for a bit. We did need to give you some morphine before the surgery, but per your previous requests and file, barring any extenuating circumstances, we will not administer any additional prescriptions without your written consent."

Erin nodded solemnly, grateful they had followed her wishes, but also knowing that the pain was only going to increase in the short term as she recovered. "Do you need any more, kid?" Hank finally piped up, speaking for both himself and Jay, who was thinking the exact same thing, "You've gotta be in pain."

She grunted, "I'll be fine." She wanted to avoid going down that road at all costs. Erin had read the pamphlets and been around enough addicts to recognize that starting up the medication, even after injury, led to an increased likelihood of future dependence.

"On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most, how much pain are you in?" Choi asked, raising his eyebrows. Erin glanced to Hank, then to Jay before returning her gaze to the doctor.

"Eight," she managed, raw honesty evident in the shakiness of her voice, "Eight."

Hank and Jay both let out an exhale as Jay continued to stroke his fiancé's hand. "If you don't want any prescription medication, we can administer some localize numbing to help with the pain," Choi suggested to which Erin nodded gratefully, "But if your pain persists at a 7 or higher, we'll want to consider additional steps."

Erin nodded again, "Thank you," she whispered, eyes feeling heavy again.

Choi nodded in understanding, "I'll send in a nurse in a bit with the numbing medication." He glanced to Hank, who had Kate now asleep on his shoulder as he stood by Erin's bedside, "It can be quite uncomfortable, so I would um, suggest you take Kate for a trip to the cafeteria."

Jay widened his eyes in surprise, but Hank thankfully nodded. "I'll give you two some time," he said, "We'll be back in a little while, okay kid?"

Erin nodded, "Thanks Hank," she murmured gratefully, "Really."

"Ah!" Erin exclaimed as the needle made contact with her tender shoulder. Tears pooled in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks before she could stop them.

"Squeeze my hand, babe," Jay instructed, running a thumb over the top of Erin's hand that he was holding. She did as he told her, grimacing in pain as the numbing medication was injected. He hated to see his girl in such agony.

"Sorry, Ms. Lindsay," the nurse apologized, "One more and you'll have some relief in no time."

"Hurts more than getting shot," she choked out, gripping Jay's hand tighter as the second needle entered her shoulder to administer the medication, "Jesus."

"All done," the nurse pulled back, "You should experience a numbing effect in the next ten minutes or so. Dr. Halstead will be in to monitor your pain levels."

"Thanks," Jay supplied for Erin, who was desperately trying to ward off the searing pain in her shoulder. He reached up and stroked her cheek, "I'm so sorry, babe."

"I'm the one who ran toward an armed whack job holding up a taco truck," she scoffed, trying to get her breathing under control, "Shoulda been more careful."

Jay just shook his head and kissed her forehead, allowing his lips to linger. Erin closed her eyes while her partner continued with his gentle touches, needing the constant reminder that she was warm, alive and breathing.

Finally, Erin sucked in a breath, her lungs desperate for real air. The pain had dissipated slightly, allowing her to fully expand her sore ribcage. "Didn't mean to scare you," she exhaled, finding Jay's gaze, "Took one to the shoulder just to come over to your place tonight," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. The tension in Jay's shoulders were visible from a mile away.

He cracked a smile and gently toyed with her fingers, "Well, I don't think you'll be heading home tonight babe. The doctors want to keep you here for observation for at least twenty four hours."

She frowned, more tears filling her eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day, "But I want to go home."

"I know," Jay wiped a tear off her cheek, "Soon, babe, okay? You just really scared me back there and I'd feel a whole lot better if a doctor other than my brother sent you home."

She snorted slightly, "He was with me when I went into surgery," Erin informed him, not realizing that Jay knew Will never left her side, "I-I wanted you to be there, but he said he'd stay with me."

"He didn't leave til I got here," Jay confirmed, gesturing to the opposite bedside, "According to Choi and Nat, Will held your hand throughout the whole surgery too."

Erin managed a watery smile, "Somebody raised you boys right."

Jay practically jumped out of his skin as a loud beeping noise clouded his dreams. He snapped his eyes open, remembering that Erin was in the hospital and that he was on a chair beside her, head on the hospital mattress. "Her pulse ox came loose," the nurse who had hurried in at the noise assured him, "She's fine."

He exhaled deeply with relief. Kate was still asleep on her grandfather's shoulder, and Hank was asleep in the chair, having thankfully not been disturbed by the noise. Jay fought to get his breath and heart rate under control, doing his best to ground himself.

Jay startled at the sound of gunshots in the distance. Immediately, he was drenched in a cold sweat, heart pounding, ears ringing. There was a muffled scream and the sound of crying. He tried to get up from his bunk, but his legs were frozen in place. A hand found his shoulder, urging him to get up, to help his team.

"Jay," the voice begged, "Jay, wake up."

He gasped, his eyes finally opening. Instead of being in the desert, Jay was in Chicago. He was in his bed, beside his partner, who was propped up in bed looking very concernedly at him. "S-sorry," he managed, breath finally coming and filling his lungs. He sat up, chilled as the cool air made contact with his sweaty skin.

"You alright, babe?" Erin asked, reaching out a hand to tentatively stroke his arm. Goosebumps covered his body, which was damp with perspiration and ever so slightly trembling. "Jay?"

Jay nodded, although he felt anything but okay. "Bad dream," he said finally, locking eyes with Erin and trying to relax, "I didn't mean to wake you up."

Erin was about to reply, when the popping sound of fireworks once again filled the space within their apartment. Jay tensed up again, the memories flooding back like a dam had been opened. Another muffled wail echoed from across the apartment. "K-Kate," he choked out, doing his best to convince his legs to move, to vacate the bed and to provide comfort to his little girl. He was caught between Chicago and Afghanistan, his mind playing tricks on him as he tried to ground himself.

"I got her, babe. It's just the fireworks" Erin assured him. She was reluctant to leave her partner as he worked through the noise, reminding himself over and over in his head that he was okay, that he was home, that he was safe. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Jay didn't reply, focused on his breathing. Erin stopped in the doorway, "Just fireworks," she reiterated, until Jay finally acknowledged her statement with a small nod, "Just fireworks."

Erin quickly made her way across the apartment, silently cursing the Navy Pier for having fireworks all summer. It was only when the wind was blowing in a certain direction that they actually heard them in their apartment, but when they did, it usually sent Jay into a PTSD-fueled nightmare. This time, they had a petrified little girl in their home as well, who was equally as afraid of the colorful sky explosions.

"Hey, hey, hey, baby, it's alright," Erin cooed, creeping into Kate's bedroom. The child was positively shaking beside her bed, knees drawn to her chest in fear as the sporadic sound of fireworks could be heard in the distance, "It's just some fireworks across town. Everything is okay, and you're safe."

"I'm sorry," Kate whispered tearfully, shivering just as her father was in the next room over, "I-I-I thought they were shooting."

Kate's words made Erin's blood run cold. The four year old had thought the loud noises in the sky were gun shots, and it absolutely shattered her heart. The fact that she even knew what a gunshot sounded like was awful. "Oh, sweetheart," Erin sank to her knees beside the child, "You're safe, I promise. Nobody's shooting, it's just people celebrating down at the Navy Pier." She paused, it registering that Kate was huddled on the bedroom floor instead of under her covers, "Did you fall out of bed, baby?"

She shook her head slowly, "I-I was hidin'," she mumbled shamefully, "'cause that's what I used to do. When there was shooting."

Erin was at a loss for words as she regarded the sweet child, so frightened that she had sought to hide from the fireworks. Right then and there, Erin decided she was going to file a damn noise complaint to the city. "I'm sorry, Kate," she managed, finally reaching a hand out to provide some comfort, "You're safe now, okay?"

Kate nodded, relaxing slightly as Erin stroked her tiny knees, "W-where's Jay?" she asked after a few moments. She paused, "He-he-he's safe, right?"

"Oh yes," Erin said quickly, "Jay's in bed, just across the apartment." She gestured toward Kate's door that led into their living room. Erin really didn't want to bring Kate into their bed, especially as Jay was still working to collect himself, "He's very safe."

"I'm okay, Squirt," Jay whispered softly, padding into Kate's bedroom. The ongoing fireworks had faded into the distance, and he knew that his daughter needed him. "We're all safe."

Kate visibility relaxed as Jay entered the room. "I'm sorry," she repeated tearfully, "I-I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You can always wake us up, kiddo," Jay crouched beside Erin, "And we were awake anyway." He took a breath, "I don't like fireworks either."

It was then Kate recognized her father's own fear, his eyes still dark from the nightmare. "I don't like the noises because they sound like guns," she said the word like it was a curse word, "Big Joe, he, he used to shoot."

Again, Erin felt her blood run cold. "The fireworks bring back bad memories, huh?" she stroked Kate's hair back tenderly. The little girl nodded timidly, unsure if she should continue. Erin's gentle touch reminded her that she was safe, so she took a breath.

"I-I 'member, um, before you and Jay found me," Kate swallowed, "The sky was 'spoldin," She looked nervously to her father, who was damp from his flashback and to Erin, seated between both her loves, trying to provide as much comfort as she could, "And I got hurt real bad, 'cause I was scared. Of the noise and-and I cried."

Erin nodded in understanding, doing her best to maintain her composure. She rested a hand on Jay's back, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, sweetheart."

"That's not going to happen, ever again," Jay promised, "And we would never hurt you. You know that, right?"

Kate nodded again slowly. She knew she was safe with Jay and Erin. "Thank you," she whispered simply, leaning forward into Erin's embrace. Erin held her closely with one arm, the other still resting on Jay's back. He shuddered slightly but finally let out an exhale and pressed a kiss atop Erin's head.

"What if we all head back to our bed, hm?" he suggested, leaning down to kiss Kate's head as well, "We'll all be a little warmer there too."

"Babe?" Erin mumbled, stirring slightly. She moved her good hand atop her fiancé's, "Jay?"

"Hey, baby," Jay pulled himself back to reality and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, forever grateful that she was awake and alive, "How's the pain?"

Erin shrugged dejectedly. She didn't want to tell him that her whole body ached, or that it felt like someone was trying to saw into her shoulder with a butter knife. It was an improvement from the stabbing, burning pain from being shot, but she was not the least bit comfortable. "Can you come closer?" she asked softly, weakly gesturing for him to move toward the bed.

"I can't get any closer without sitting on the bed," Jay replied gently, scooting the chair impossibly closer to the bed. He stroked her arm soothingly, "I'll be right here."

"I want you to be right here," Erin pointed to the small space beside her on the hospital bed as she shifted to the side slightly, "Come lay with me, Halstead."

"Babe…" Jay trailed off, unable to deny his aching partner the comfort she was so desperately craving.

"Please?" Erin begged, eyes wet with unshed tears, "Your brother works here, you won't get in trouble. Plus, I got shot today. They can't kick me out."

He chuckled, unable to argue with that logic, coupled with the fact that he too wanted to be as close as possible to his partner. He maneuvered himself onto the mattress, carefully avoiding any IV lines or monitoring equipment to avoid another pulse-ox drama. He wrapped an arm around his girl, draping a hand gently above her injured shoulder. "That's better," Erin exhaled, snuggling into his chest, "So much better."

There are about two chapters left in this story! I am SO excited for the next one. Thank you to all who have continued to read and support this for 75 whole chapters, it's been such a pleasure writing for you. Stay tuned for more :)