17. One In A Million
Hey,
thank you all so much again for the reviews, I'm so happy that you all liked the team-building-chapter as it was the hardest chapter for me to write yet! I'm sorry for not updating earlier, uni is crazy at the moment but it's just three more weeks and then I'll be done with this semester and will have time to update weekly again! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything regarding Chicago PD neither do I own the song "One In A Million" by Bosson.
17. One In A Million
″What do you think about this one?″ Erin asked Jay as she stepped out of the dressing room, wearing a short, elegant dark blue dress. Jay, who sat right in front of the rooms in an armchair looked up from his phone, that kept him entertained throughout this never-ending shopping trip for a dress for Platt's wedding, to her and scanned her from head to toes.
″I really like it. It's good,″ Jay shrugged. After rating what felt like 100 dresses already he started to get tired of this whole shopping trip and walking through one department store after another.
″Good as in good or good as in bad?″
″Uhm...What?″ he frowned.
″This is the 15th dress I show you...-″
″Make it 25...,″ he mumbled and immediately got a death glare from her.
″This is the 15th dress I show you and for the 15th time you say it's looking good. Can you maybe say something else?″ she asked him, raising her eyebrows.
″What shall I say, Er? This one looks good and all the other ones did, too,″ he simply answered and this was the truth. In every dress she simply looked stunning. No matter which color it had or how it was cut. But none of them seemed to meet her requirements though.
″They didn't. Not each and every dress can look good,″ she disagreed.
″But they do because you're beautiful,″ he said with a smile, trying to save this conversation, this moment, this day. But Erin was obviously on the warpath today.
″You know I think you just want me to take one, no matter how it looks, so we can finish this shopping trip and can go home!″
″Seriously Erin, what's your problem right now? You tried so many dresses and they all fit and looked great. When I buy a suit I try one and if it fits and looks good I take it. That's it,″ he said and his voice was a little bugged now.
″That's the problem right there. Men have it so easy all the time,″ she snapped, went back into the dressing room and slammed the door.
Jay just sighed and shook his head. He couldn't help but think that her last statement was not only about the difference between buying dresses and suits. Ever since coming home from New Buffalo one week ago she tended to be moody quite often and it also seemed like the happiness she has had there was just short-lived. It seemed like the steps she had made forward there, she was about to make back again. And with the way their shopping trip has turned out now he also kind of feared that this were already the pregnancy hormones which started to show. And if her attitude would be like this for the next 28 weeks, goodbye world.
Some moments later, Erin stepped out of the dressing room again, wearing her jeans and her shirt.
″What's up now?″ Jay frowned.
″I'm done, we can go home, you can celebrate,″ she answered dryly.
″You decided for one?″ he asked and couldn't hide the surprised undertone in his voice.
″Nope. I'll buy a dress with Kim tomorrow because you're a horrible shopping partner,″ she snapped and walked past him.
″Thank you, the same to you,″ he called and followed her. Jay had expected her to turn around and snap back but instead she ignored his remark and walked away from him even faster. This day and their whole weekend in general were on the best way to end in a desaster.
″Erin,″ he called when they were almost out of the department store and it didn't seem like she wanted to wait for him. She stopped and he took some big steps to close the gap between them.
″Er, I'm sorry,″ he said with a low voice into her ear from behind. She slowly turned around and looked at him, her facial expression still being slightly furious.
″Why are you apologizing?!″ she snapped.
″Because I don't want us to fight, Er,″ he simply answered and held his hands up in defence. ″It's weekend and I want to enjoy my time with you but instead we're arguing about nonsense. And if we keep it going like this we better spend the rest of the weekend seperated before we kill each other. But I don't want to spend the weekend without you, you know?″
″But you have nothing to apologize for,″ she quietly admitted and bit her lower lip. ″This is not on you. It's me...and I don't even know why.″
″Oh I know. You're maybe a tiny bit grumpy today,″ he said and gave her his cutest little smile that had the unique ability to lighten up her mood instantly and even letting a small smile return to her face.
″Thanks for the understatement,″ she said with a little laughter.
″Always,″ he laughed. ″How about getting my grumpy girl a pizza to save the day?″
″Yeah, lunch sounds pretty good right now,″ she said.
″Let's go then,″ he winked, wrapped her arm around her neck and placed a soft kiss on her temple.
″Jay, I'm sorry for...you know...freaking out,″ she said as they left the department store.
″Mhm,″ he mumbled. ″I know.″
″But that doesn't change the fact that you're a horrible shopping partner and that I'll never go shopping with you again,″ she added with a laughter and earned a soft punch into her side from him in response.
XxXxXxXxXxX
The following day, it was Kim and Erin who hit Michigan Avenue together and went from one store to another as Kim also needed a new dress for the wedding. Kim found hers pretty fast but once again it was Erin who had struggles to find one.
″Wow, this is gorgeous,″ Kim smiled as Erin stepped out of the dressing room, wearing the same dark blue dress she has already tried the day before.
″Kim, you're just as bad as Jay, honestly,″ Erin sighed, flattened the fabric with her hand and took a look in the mirror.
″Why?″
″Because no matter which dress I tried he said it's good, it's good, it's good. And you're doing exactly the same thing, just using a different word.″
″Ever thought about the possibility that he has told you the truth? Every dress you tried yet looked stunning, Erin. But it's you who likes none of them,″ she answered and gave her friend a meaningful glance.
″It's not that I don't like them...it's just...″ she hummed and hawed, staring to the floor as if she wanted to find the right words there.
″It's just?″ Kim echoed. ″What's the deal Erin?″ she then asked and Erin sat down in the armchair right next to her.
″It's...two days ago I realized that my bras started getting a little tight,″ she mumbled and looked down at her décolleté.
″So what?″ Kim shrugged.
″So what?″ Erin echoed and her voice was rising. ″My bras started to not fit me anymore!″
″I understood that part, Erin. But you're thirteen weeks soon, you're past your first trimester. What did you expect? That nothing changes?″
″I know that my body is going to change, Kim and that's hard enough to accept already. But I didn't think it already starts now,″ she admitted and her voice was more or less back to a normal tone.
″Already? I think you're really lucky that your stomach still is as flat as always. My sister started to show at around twelve weeks,″ Kim said and gave Erin a smile.
″This isn't helping,″ Erin answered and covered her head in her hands.
″I'm sorry,″ Kim said and laid her hand on Erin's back. ″I still don't quite know what this has to do with the dresses though...″
Erin sighed, got up and then looked at herself in the mirror again.
″No matter which dress I try, I only see this,″ she said and pointed at her breasts. ″And I don't want everyone else to see it, too. But whichever dress I'm going to buy they can and will see it.″
″Erin, I tell you something,″ Kim said, also got up and wrapped her arm around Erin's shoulders. ″This woman in there,″ she said and pointed to Erin's reflection in the mirror, ″is a stunner in every single way, okay? And yes, she recognized that something has changed and it's understandable that this is all she's seeing right now. But I promise her, no one else can see it already. To be honest, I scanned her for any signs when she'd tried her first dress earlier but I didn't recognize anything,″ Kim explained and smiled.
″Really?″ Erin asked, giving Kim a small smile back.
″Yes. There's nothing you have to worry about,″ Kim winked.
″Thank you. I guess I needed to hear that,″ she grinned.
″Guess you did. And how did you say last week? Girls must stick together,″ Kim laughed. ″But now back to all the dresses. Which one did you like best?″
″Hmm, I don't know but I really like this one,″ she shrugged.
″As I said, it looks gorgeous but I'm afraid you can't take it,″ Kim said and sounded all serious.
″Wait, just some minutes ago you told me that my...-″
″Erin, easy,″ Kim interrupted her. ″With this dress you're going to look more beautiful than the bride and this is a no-go,″ she chuckled.
″Which means Platt's literally going to kill me,″ Erin sighed.
″Not just literally,″ Kim laughed.
″Great. But it's my favorite of all of them and I feel comfortable with it. And Jay liked it,″ she grinned. ″At least I think so.″
″I'm sure he did and well...I think you should just take it then. But maybe you should go to the wedding without make-up to not outshine the bride,″ Kim laughed.
″Says the girl who looked just as stunning in her dress,″ Erin smiled. ″But hey, maybe my dress won't fit anymore by next weekend anyway,″ she shrugged and went back into the dressing room.
″Erin...″ Kim called.
″Was a joke,″ Erin replied with a chuckle.
″It better was.″
XxXxXxXxXxX
After entering more stores and coffeeshops on Michigan Avenue, Erin came back to her place by the late afternoon, bringing Indian takeout for her and Jay. She was quite surprised to find Jay and Will sitting on her couch, their legs propped on the coffee table in front of them and watching the Cubs game.
″Hey guys,″ Erin greeted the two men who seemed to be fully concentrated on the game.
″Oh, hi Erin,″ Will said as he turned his head around. ″How are you doing?″
″I'm good. What about you?″
″Not bad either,″ he answered, placed his beer bottle on the table and got up from the couch while Erin stored all of her shopping bags in the hall.
″Guess I better go then, bro,″ Will said to his brother. Jay was about to say something but Erin was faster.
″Will, I don't bite and this food is enough for all of us,″ she said and waved with the paper bag in her hand.
″Thanks for the invitation but I was on the go anyway,″ he smiled.
″In the middle of the game?″ she asked and raised her eyebrows while looking at her boyfriend's brother.
″Yeah...uhm...you sure it's okay when I'm here at your place?″
″Of course, Will. You're family,″ she winked and not only Will was surprised by her words but also Jay. Until now it has always been Jay who has called her a part of HIS family, like after the barbeque with his aunt and uncle in Wisconsin some weeks ago, but this was the first time that she called someone other than Jay or Hank a part of HER family, that she talked about family in general.
″Well then I'll stay,″ he grinned and sat down next to his brother again.
″Good decision,″ she laughed and went to the kitchen to grab some plates for them.
″Did you find a dress?″ Jay asked her as she came back and placed the plates and the food on the table.
″Mhm,″ she nodded and started to fill her plate with rice and chicken-curry.
″I'm proud of you,″ he chuckled and as he didn't want to kiss her and make his brother feel like a third-wheel even more than he surely already felt, he just gave her a twinkle and a smitten smile.
″I'm proud of myself, too,″ she laughed.
″Erin, are you maybe a bit hungry today?″ Will grinned and eyed her full plate.
″Maybe I was too nice to you Will, huh?″ she noticed but still had to grin while she started to eat her dish.
″Will, there's a Halstead growing in there, so of course she's hungry,″ Jay chuckled.
″Exactly. So small but already has its father's main attitude,″ she answered all dry while both, Will and Jay had to laugh quite hard.
The three of them spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening with chilling on the couch, watching another game and joking around a bit more. Erin had to admit that she really enjoyed these family vibes. More than she thought she would. First meeting Jay's aunt and uncle and now spending some quality time with Jay and his brother made her feel like being a part of a real family again. A family where everyone cared about each other, where everyone was there for each other and where it was fun to spend time with each other. That kind of family she didn't have until moving into Hank's house. That kind of family she had lost for some time after Camille's death as it had brought so many demons Justin and Hank had to fight against. And maybe, deep down in her heart, the thought of having her own little family soon started to grow on her in the same way her baby grew inside of her.
After the game was over, Will made himself ready to go as he didn't want to disturb the two of them any longer.
″It was really nice,″ Erin smiled as she hugged her pseudo-brother-in-law.
″It was, thanks for making me stay though,″ he grinned and then gave his brother a pat on the back.
″See you around,″ Jay said and also hugged his brother.
″See ya guys,″ he waved and left them alone.
Jay closed the door and wrapped his arm around Erin's waist, kissing her lips immediately.
″Jay, is Will maybe a bit scared of me or something?″ she asked him after ending the kiss.
″What? Why should he be?″ Jay frowned.
″Because he literally wanted to flee out of here as soon as I came in. This was...weird.″
″I think he didn't want to disturb us and felt kinda uncomfortable being here. He earlier called me and asked me whether he can come to my place so we can watch the game together as it was his day off today. But I was here and I didn't want to go to my place just to watch the game and then come back here, because you know, lazy sunday. So I told him he can join me here but I won't move further than from the couch to the fridge and back,″ he laughed. ″He wasn't really delighted by this idea and didn't want to come because this is your place, not mine.″
″How did you convince him that he came here anyway in the end?″
″I told him that this is as much my place as my apartment is your place,″ he shrugged. ″I mean, it was okay for you, wasn't it?″
″Of course, he's always welcome. And I think I understand now why he wanted to go. Must be awkward to be the third-wheel,″ she laughed.
″Oh, Will's a big boy and he can deal with that, no worries,″ he also laughed and placed another kiss on her lips again.
″Looks like you found more than just a dress though,″ he then chuckled and eyed all the bags that were still stored in the hall.
″Maybe,″ she shrugged and smiled at him all innocent.
″You're going to show me?″
″Maybe,″ she twinkled at him.
″Please,″ he pleaded puppy-eyed.
″You know I can't say no when you look at me like this, right?″
″Yes, I know that,″ he chuckled and a winning smile rushed over his face as he knew she succumbed to his charms.
″Okay, wait here,″ she grinned, kissed his cheek and then grabbed her bags and disappeared in the bathroom while Jay curled up on the couch again.
Some minutes later she came back into the living room, wearing the all too familar dark blue dress.
″Somehow this dress rings a bell but I really can't remember why,″ he laughed, scanning her from head to toes once again. And once again not being able to believe that this beautiful girl was his girl. His one and only.
″I can't remember either,″ she grinned, dimples forming at the corners of her mouth and her cheeks. ″Do you still like it?″ she asked and sat down in his lap.
″I love it,″ he murmured and crashed her lips with a passionate kiss.
″Glad you approved,″ she smiled into his face, into those sparkling blue eyes that attracted her so much, that always flirted with her. ″Can you maybe help me to unzip it? I almost killed myself closing it.″
″Why didn't you ask me to help you then?″ he asked while his fingers first went up and down her spine and then unzipped her dress.
″Because then you would've seen my surprise too early,″ she twinkled, got up and let her dress fall down to the floor.
A little gasp escaped from his mouth as she now stood in front of him, only wearing her new, sexy lingerie that perfectly emphasized her body, especially her breasts which seemed to be a little fuller than usual.
″Damn Erin,″ he mumbled and also got up from the couch. ″Can you please stop being so hot?″ he breathed into her ear while his fingers caressed her bare waist.
″Okay,″ she chuckled, pulled off from him and walked towards the bathroom, leaving her perplex boyfriend in the living room.
″Uhm...wait,″ he called and followed her.
″Huh?″ She turned around again, a playful smirk surrounding her lips. ″You told me I shall stop being so hot, so I thought we're done here.″
″We're far from being done, Erin Lindsay,″ he grinned, pressed his lips against hers and then lifted her up by her thighs to carry her to the bedroom.
XxXxXxXxXxX
After another week filled with lots of work, heavy cases and some serious late night busts, the weekend of Platt's and Mouch's wedding was finally there. Jay felt kinda relieved when he put on his suit and a matching tie to Erin's dress on early Saturday afternoon. They had more or less kept their secret for the past three weeks, the things he had feared so much like Erin getting seriously injured during one of their busts, hadn't happened and the day where they were finally going to tell Hank, the day where Erin would eventually be on desk duty, was tangibly close. During the past days his worriedness about Erin and their baby has risen with every time they had to go in somewhere dangerous and a lot of stress has fallen from his body ever since they've come back to Erin's apartment last night, knowing that this was the last time she was out in the field with them and would be safe behind a desk from now on.
Just after he had tied his tie, Erin joined him in the bedroom and Jay's eyes were popping out of his head by her appearance. The dark blue dress combined with her high heels, her brown-blonde hair pinned-up with some strands falling down and her subtle make-up made her look absolutely incredible. Erin had to grin when she saw how he wasn't able to stop staring at her but it was the perfect reason for her to stare back at him, because he didn't look bad at all either in his black suit and white shirt with the dark blue tie. Nonetheless it was Erin who found her voice again first.
″Stop drooling, Halstead,″ she teased him.
″Stop staring at me Lindsay,″ he joked back.
″I didn't stare. Was just checking whether your suit is nice enough for today's event,″ she smirked.
″And, is it?″
″Yeah, I think I can show up there with you.″
″Wow, I'm so lucky,″ he grinned and came some steps closer towards her.
″You are,″ she winked.
″Mhm,″ he only murmured and kissed her smiling lips. ″Are you ready to go then? Otherwise I'm not sure whether we'll ever make it to 51,″ he grinned afterwards, raising his eyebrow playfully.
″Well then we should better go before you can't keep it in your pants anymore, huh?″ Erin chuckled and gave him her most innocent smile ever.
″This is so much not funny anymore,″ he grimaced.
″This will never not be funny,″ she laughed.
″Sometimes I really wonder how someone who looks like an angel can be such a little witch.″
″You didn't just...-″ she started and narrowed her eyes while looking at him.
″Guess I did,″ he smirked. ″Come on now, otherwise we're going to be late,″ he said and reached for her hand.
″Oh no worries, my witches' broom is parked directly in front of the house. We'll be there in no time,″ she laughed and interlocked her fingers with his. ″Little witch,″ she whispered and slightly shook her head as they left her apartment.
XxXxXxXxXxX
Some hours later they all sat outside firehouse 51, surrounded by the fire trucks, and witnessed one of the most chaotic but yet most charming wedding ceremonies ever. Everything went quite well until Mouch had to say his wedding vows he had prepared before.
″Trudy Platt,″ he started and everyone of the guests could hear how he took a deep breath. ″Trudy Platt,″ he said again, ″you are...my...uhm...my...uhm...I am...″ he spluttered and his face blushed into a dark red color. Once again he inhaled deeply.
″Trudy. Meeting you...uhm...I...I...you and me...,″ he sighed and shook his head.
″Did he just forget his wedding vows?″ Jay whispered into Erin's ear.
″Yes he did,″ she answered.
″Platt looks like she's about to kill him any second,″ he chuckled.
″This is not funny. Look at him, he's so nervous,″ Erin said, feeling really sorry for Mouch who obviously felt more than just uncomfortable right now.
″Trudy Platt,″ Mouch's voice sounded for a fourth time. ″I might have forgotten what I originally wanted to say...but all you need to know is...I love you...and...uhm...you're my...you're my one in a million, and...uhm...I want to spend the rest of my life with you,″ he spluttered once again and then looked to the priest to signalise that this was all he had to say, all he was able to say right now. The priest looked slightly confused for a second but then nodded to Platt. She also had to take a deep breath, but more to keep her anger under control as everyone assumed.
″Randall McHolland,″ she started. ″For a minute I thought about turning our wedding into your funeral,″ she said and some laughters escaped from the guest's lips. "But then I realized that this is who you are and that this is exactly the person I love. And it might helped that these words were the cutest thing you ever said to me yet. So I don't care about you forgetting your wedding vows and about your proposal, that didn't make it into the books of the greatest proposals in history. I don't care about this because I love you, Randall McHolland, for exactly these things and yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too,″ she ended her wedding vows that were surely planned completely different as well. Some laughters filled the air of this beautiful summer day again before the two of them exchanged their rings, were then pronounced husband and wife and were finally allowed to kiss each other.
After the ceremony, they all went into the big hall where they had arranged lots of tables and a giant buffet with enough food to provide the whole neighborhood for two days, so the majority of the afternoon and early evening was spent with eating, drinking, chatting and more eating.
″May I?″ a familar voice appeared next to Erin, who sat alone on her table and was occupied with her phone. Jay stood in another corner of the hall, talking with Matt and Antonio, Hank and Alvin had changed seats and now sat at Boden's table, Adam and Kevin were at the buffet to refill their plates for the 100th time and Kim had just left for the toilet.
″Sure,″ she said as she turned her head around to Kelly Severide who took the seat right next to her.
″Haven't seen you in a while, Lindsay,″ he smiled.
″Yeah, lots of stuff to do. Too many criminals in this city,″ she answered, looking at her ex-affair and trying to figure out what this was about.
″Still kickin' ass every day, huh?″
″Try my best,″ she laughed. ″What about you? Haven't seen you around either.″
″I also had a lot of stuff to do. Too many fires in this city, you know?″ he winked. ″But however, I just wanted to say hi and ask you how you're doing.″
″I'm doing good, Kelly. Really good.″
″Yeah, I thought that...because you're looking really good today, Lindsay″ he said and Erin was sure that his cheeks slightly blushed while he scanned her again. Did her ex really try to flirt with her right now?
″Thank you,″ she just answered and gave him a little smile. ″How are you doing though?″
″I'm fine. Saving lives every day.″
″That' not exactly what I meant but I think you know that,″ she said and now she was the one who scanned him for his reaction.
″Yeah, I know,″ he nodded. ″There are days when I think it finally gets easier but then something comes up that reminds me of her and I realize that it doesn't get less painful no matter how much time passes,″ he shrugged. ″It's hard and I guess it always will be. No day passes where I don't think about her. Just walking in here brings all the memories back,″ he said and gazed around in the big hall where usually the fire trucks were housed.
″I know what you mean,″ Erin sighed. ″Every day I walk past Nadia's stone in front of the 21st and so I think about her every day, too. Think about what a badass cop she would be right now. When I look at a picture of her I still want to cry, sometimes I can't hold my tears back. Then I think back to the many occasions we laughed together. Sometimes this helps, sometimes it makes it even worse. But this helps to keep all those memories alive and with it somehow keep her alive.″
″With Shay...all these memories still hurt so much. Sometimes I can't remember her voice, the sound of her laughter, her smile. Then I watch some old videos until I can't take it anymore. It reopens wounds that are not even closed yet. But however, this isn't the right occasion to talk about this. I mean, this should be a happy place today, right?″ he asked and forced a smile.
″It should be and it is a happy place. But on occasions like this wedding we also think automatically about the people who should be here with us today but aren't, about the people we miss so badly.″
″Mhm,″ he only nodded and stared at her. Erin turned her head around and grabbed her glass as she felt quite uncomfortable with it. ″Erin?″ he then said.
″Huh?″ she asked, looking at him again only to recognize that he still glared at her.
″I'm sorry for the way I treated you after Shay's death. You didn't deserve that,″ he quietly said.
″It's okay. You were in a dark place Kelly. I understand the reasons why you did it, maybe better than anyone else,″ she sighed. ″You severed all ties with the people who cared about you because you wanted to be alone and alcohol helped so much better to forget than talking about it with someone else. That's exactly what I did after Nadia's death last year. It was the wrongest thing I could've done but back then it felt right.″
″No, it's not okay. I acted like a jerk and I never really apologized for it. I screwed up and all the things I did...I want you to know that I'm sorry for it.″
″Okay,″ Erin just answered and smiled a little, still not being sure whether this was all he wanted to tell her or whether there was more to come. An awkward silence occured and none of them seemed to know what to say. Erin wished Kim would finally come back and wondered whether her friend got lost on the way to the toilet and back.
″I guess I will go for a little more dessert then,″ Kelly said and he obviously felt as awkward as Erin.
″You should try the chocolate mousse, it's delicious,″ she grinned.
″I will. Shall I bring you one, too?″ he smiled and got up while Erin realized that the flirting she had sensed was real.
″Uhm no, thanks. Jay wanted to bring me one...once he's ever going to finish his conversation,″ she laughed and glanced at her boyfriend across the hall who looked so damn handsome in his black pants and white shirt with the rolled up sleeves and the loosened tie. She didn't even realize how a fond smile appeared on her lips.
″Alright, see you around then,″ Kelly said and was already on the go before he turned around again. ″Erin?″
″Yeah?″ she asked and also turned her head to look at him again.
″I'm glad you found your one,″ he said and even laid his hand on her shoulder.
″What makes you think he's my one?″ she frowned.
″It's the way you look at him. I wish a woman one day looks at me like this, with eyes full of love,″ he said being all serious and Erin felt how her cheeks blushed within seconds.
″Uhm...it's not really that bad, is it?″ she laughed.
″It's actually pretty cute, Erin. And no worries, I saw the two of you earlier and well...he looks at you exactly the same way,″ he winked but Erin still couldn't help but think that he was flirting with her, no matter how hard he tried to tell her that he was happy for her. ″And as I said, I'm glad you found happiness. You're a great person and you deserve it.″
″You deserve that too,″ she said.
″Yeah, maybe...We'll see,″ he laughed and left her alone. But she wasn't alone for too long as Jay joined her some minutes later, bringing her the long awaited chocolate mousse.
″Finally,″ she laughed as he placed the dessert right in front of her.
″Sorry for letting you wait but you seemed to be in a conversation, too,″ he said while glancing at her.
″Yeah I was. And I didn't starve so I forgive you for letting me wait,″ she winked.
″What did Severide want though?″ he asked casually. At least he tried to ask casually but it stayed with a try.
″Just wanted to talk with me,″ she shrugged while eating her mousse.
″Mhm. Does he always TALK with others by laying his hand on their shoulders?″
With this statement Jay suddenly had Erin's full attention. She turned her head around and glared at him, slightly raising her eyebrow.
″If I didn't know it better I'd say you're jealous Jay Halstead,″ she noticed all dry.
″I'm not. I just didn't like the way he looked at you. Like he still has feelings for you.″
″Oh come on, don't get stupid now Jay. This was an eternity ago″ she answered and rolled her eyes.
″He flirted with you Erin.″
″We just talked. And even if he did flirt with me, I didn't flirt back or did you also see something there?″ she asked and recognized how she got more and more bugged from this whole conversation and Jay's unusual jealous behaviour. ″So stop being jealous about nothing, okay?″
″I'm not jealous,″ he said again and his voice was also rising but luckily the sound level around them was loud enough that no recognized yet that they were on the best way to pick up a fight.
″Yes you are. But you have absolutely no reason Jay,″ she said and suddenly her voice was softer again and she even gave him a little smile. ″He knows that I'm in a relationship.″
″That's not a reason for him for not trying it,″ he shrugged.
″But maybe our relationship is a reason for me why I would never flirt back let alone do anything else that maybe creeps through your jealous head right now,″ she snapped, got up from her chair and left him alone before he was able to answer anything.
″Erin,″ he said but of course she didn't care and almost ran out of the hall. In the same second Jay knew he had hurt her. Had more or less given her the impression that he didn't trust her. He hadn't wanted this conversation to go into this direction. He hadn't even intended to act like the crazy jealous boyfriend. But seeing Kelly Severide flirting and laughing with her was something he couldn't handle too well. He was her ex after all and just watching them for some minutes was enough for him for not being able to stay cool and calm anymore like he usually always was. Already now he didn't even know anymore why he had acted the way he had, why he had dugged deeper and deeper instead of just simply letting it go. Not for one single second he has been mad at Erin. He has been and still was mad at Severide for trying to flirt with her but it was Erin who has gotten the impact of his bad mood, of his stupid jealousy.
Jay sighed and rubbed his eyes with his hands. He needed to talk to her as soon as possible, apologize for the things he had said and for the way he had behaved.
″Where's Erin?″ a voice suddenly said behind him. He turned his head around and looked directly into the face of the man who was the trigger for all this drama: Kelly Severide, who stood right there, carrying two little glasses with chocolate mousse in his hand. It took Jay two seconds to figure out Severide's intentions. He tried to supress the urgent feel of wanting to punch him in the gut, or even further down, and reminded himself to stay calm.
″She went to the toilet,″ Jay lied.
″Ah, okay, then I'll maybe come back later,″ Kelly said and was about to go again.
″Severide wait a moment,″ Jay said and got up so he was able to talk to his opponent from face to face. ″Listen man, I think I just want to clarify that Erin is my girlfriend, okay?″ he said as friendly as possible but Severide started roaring in response.
″Halstead, she only has eyes for you,″ he answered and even gave him a pat on the back.
″I know,″ Jay nodded. ″But I want to be the only one who has eyes for her, you understand what I mean?″
″You can't bar me from talking to her.″
″I don't bar you from talking to her. And I would never bar her from talking to you either. But seriously, if you try flirting with her again our next conversation will not end too well.″
″I didn't flirt with her.″
″Oh come on and you brought her this dessert exactly why?″ Jay asked and pointed to the small glasses in Kelly's hand.
″I just wanted to be nice,″ he shrugged.
″Be nice to someone else. There are lots of single ladies here who will surely appreciate it. But Erin...she's my girl. And I won't be as stupid as you and let her ever go. She's the one. The one for ever,″ Jay said emphatic and for a moment it seemed like Kelly didn't know what to answer.
″Got the memo,″ he only nodded.
″Good for you,″ Jay answered, feeling unbelievably good out of a sudden.
″Mhm,″ Kelly mumbled and walked some steps away from Jay just to come back a moment later.
″Listen I'm sorry...and...uhm...good luck, Halstead,″ he said and reached for Jay's hand. First Jay was a little perplex but then he took it. ″She deserves someone like you. Someone who fights for her. Someone who treats her in a way I wasn't able to treat her. So, make the best out of it,″ he winked.
″I will,″ Jay nodded with a smile before Severide turned around again and left him alone so he was finally able to look for Erin and to set the record straight.
XxXxXxXxXxX
It was a mild evening and it only took Jay some seconds to find his girlfriend. She was sitting in the twilight on one of the benches outside of the firehouse and stared up to the moon that already appeared on the firmament. He waited a moment and thought about the right words, about the things he wanted to tell her and then walked over to the bench and sat down right next to her. Erin didn't move, just kept her gaze focused on the sky. It wasn't on her to say something anyway.
″Erin I'm sorry,″ he said with the softest of voices.
″I didn't want this and my behavior was stupid and I wanted to tell you that this won't happen again,″ he added as she seemed to further ignore him. It took some more time but then she finally turned her head around, her facial expression still being slightly disappointed.
″Do you trust me Jay?″ she asked quietly, almost insecure.
″Of course I do trust you. I trust you with my life and you know that,″ he answered without hesitation.
″That's not what I mean and YOU know that.″
″I trust you in each and every situation, Er,″ he then clarified, hoping that this was enough to convince her. ″Listen, I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't think about it and what I did and said was stupid. It was never my intention to give you the feeling that I don't trust you, Er. It's Severide I don't trust. I saw him flirting with you and laughing with you and he had this look in his eyes and then...I don't know...something inside of me freaked out. He's your ex and...damn I don't know,″ he sighed.
″Exactly Jay, he's my ex. My ex. And there's a reason why he's my ex. Because it didn't work. Because he wasn't really a gentleman back then, a nice guy. But us Jay, ″ she said, ″you and me, that works and you're usually a gentleman and a nice guy, actually the most darling guy I know. At least I thought so until some minutes ago,″ she shrugged while she was still glaring at him.
″Guitly as charged. I wasn't the nicest guy today, was more like an idiot. A little.″
″A little?″ she echoed but had to grin and Jay knew that the evening was saved, that she wasn't as mad at him as he had thought and had expected her to be.
″Mhm,″ he mumbled. ″And yes you're right. I was jealous although I know that there's no reason,″ he admitted.
″A fault confessed is half redressed, huh?″ she asked while raising her eyebrow but then ran her fingers through his hair. He brought his face closer to her face and then pressed his lips against hers, kissed her softly.
″Jay?″ she asked afterwards and her voice was all serious again.
″Yeah?″
″There will always be men I talk to and I laugh with. And there will always be men who try to flirt with me. But I want you to know that you're my one and only. Always. Because I love you.″
″I know that Er. And I love you too,″ he said and kissed her again. ″Does this mean you forgive me?″
″Maybe,″ she shrugged, giving him a little smile.
″Will you dance with me?″ he then asked as the music started to play in the hall.
″Always,″ she grinned and Jay reached for her hand and pulled her up from the bench.
″You know, I think you're actually pretty cute when you're jealous,″ she chuckled while they walked back into the firehouse.
″Is this a compliment?″ he asked with a laughter.
″Do you think it is one?″ she teased and grinned up to him.
″I'll just assume it is one,″ he laughed. ″When you talked earlier about another man flirting with you and me not freaking out about it...what about you and another woman flirting with me?″
″I'd simply kill her,″ she shrugged. ″And you know that,″ she added with a chuckle escaping from her mouth.
″Yes,″ he laughed. ″I do.″
XxXxXxXxXxX
After the bridal couple had danced their first dance, the dance floor was open for all of the other guests. Erin had sat on Jay's lap while they were watching Mouch and Platt dancing. Or better, while they were watching Mouch and Platt trying to dance. She had stepped on his feet, he had stepped on her feet and all in all it seemed like none of them was really talented. But it suited this whole wedding perfectly and was quite cute and amusing to watch. Both of them seemed pretty relieved when the song was finally over and the other couples entered the dance floor, Erin and Jay being one of them. Jay pulled her close to his body and laid his one hand on her lower back while Erin gazed up into his smiling face, being all smiles herself because the way he looked at her always melted her heart. The music changed from waltz to normal music and the song that now sounded through the loudspeakers, it was so perfect as if someone had chosen it just for them.
Sometimes love can hit you everyday
Sometimes you can fall for everyone you see
But only you can really make me stay
A sign from the sky
Said to me
You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover one of the stars above us
You're on in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover one of the stars above us
Erin glanced up to her boyfriend. The way he stared at her always let her slightly shiver. How his piercing blue eyes scanned her, how his lips always waited for the next kiss, how his whole facial expressions always showed her how happy he was and how much he loved her. She twinkled at him and couldn't hide her own fond smile. Sometimes the feelings she had for him still scared her. It felt unreal. But sometimes love was unreal. Just the fact that she had found a man like him was unreal. He was unreal. He was the missing piece to the puzzle she was, her one in a million.
I've been looking for that special one
I've been searching for someone to give my love
And when I thought that all the hope was gone
A smile, there you were and I was gone
I will always remember how I felt that day
A feeling indescribable to me
I always knew there was an answer to my prayer
And you're the one, the one for me
You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover one of the stars above us
You're on in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover one of the stars above us
Jay looked down into her perfect face, her sparkling eyes, her smiling lips and her cute dimples and in this moment he was just endlessly grateful. Grateful for the life he got. Grateful for meeting her, grateful that they'd found each other. Grateful for falling in love with her and grateful for her reciprocating his feelings. Simply grateful for her, the woman who challenged him every day but nonetheless the woman who was the only one he ever wanted. The love of his life. His one and only. His one in a million.
Hope you all liked it! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! :)
Next chapter will be called "Moment Of Truth" (guess you all know what's going to happen) and I hope I'll be able to finish and upload it somewhen next week.