19. If Tomorrow Never Comes
Thank you all again for the reviews! :) Exams are almost done, so here comes chapter 19!
Song is "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Ronan Keating.
I don't own anything.
19. If Tomorrow Never Comes
″Are you ready to go then?″ Jay asked Erin when he walked into her bedroom on this sunny August morning. She stood in front of her closet and turned around by the sound of his voice, her facial expression being quite bugged.
″Not really,″ she answered and bit her lower lip. ″I can't close my jeans anymore without that it feels uncomfortable. I mean I can still close the button, that's not the problem but...″ she sighed, looking down to the slight swell of her abdomen. Shortly after her pregnany had become public two weeks ago, baby Halstead's appearance has started to become visible rapidly, only for them in the beginning, but by now everyone could see the small belly that formed under the fabric of her shirt.
″Leave the button open,″ Jay suggested, thinking that this was the easiest solution for the moment.
″Are you serious?″ she snapped. ″I can't go to work with an open button!″
″You can wear a belt over it, so nobody sees it,″ he shrugged.
″A belt would be just as uncomfortable as closing the button.″
″Nobody said you shall wear it tight. Wear it loose, it shall only hide the open button, nothing more,″ he explained with the calmest of voices. He knew that her pregnancy becoming visible for everyone was another step that was quite hard for her. That the change, her body went through was not easy for her to accept.
″Hm, yeah, maybe,″ she shrugged and turned around to look for a belt in the depths of her closet.
″We could go shopping this weekend to solve this problem.″
″I'll never go shopping with you again,″ she chuckled and walked closer to him while putting on her belt.
″Oh come on. You should give it another try,″ he winked.
″We'll see,″ she grinned and then looked down to her jeans-belt-construction again. ″This looks weird.″
″It will do it for now,″ he shrugged and placed a short kiss on her lips before they left her apartment.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Being on desk duty was hard for Erin, just as hard as she's always imagined it to be. She still wasn't used to it that she wasn't allowed to go out with the rest of her team anymore and watching them how they put on their vests and prepared for a bust was the hardest thing for her. After all she was still allowed to go to the crime scenes, to talk with witnesses in their homes or at Med and to do notifications and interrogations. But all the real action happened without her. She tried her best to convince herself that she was on desk duty for the right reasons and she knew that it was her job to keep their baby safe but at the same time she couldn't help but feel sort of useless since she was working the desk. In addition, it was quite hard for her to be in the bullpen while the rest of the unit was out on the streets, doing something dangerous, and she didn't know what was going on, whether everything went well. When she still had been out with them on a daily basis she had never thought about anything that could go wrong but now, as she wasn't part of the action anymore, things were somehow completely different.
Also, things with Hank haven't really changed during the last two weeks and for now she accepted it. Jay's been right when he'd said that this kind of breach of trust needed time. The only conversations she's had with Hank lately were about the cases and even these conversations were icy and snippy, reduced to a minimum of words. She knew it was on her to make the first step into Hank's direction somewhen but for now it was better to keep it the way it was.
The only positive thing about working the desk while all the others were out and about was that she hadn't to do it alone as Mouse always was in the bullpen with her. She got to know him a little more every day and they've even started to joke around whenever it was possible. But the cutest thing was when he had asked her some days ago whether she wanted to have some computer lessons and had tried to explain to her that he was quite good with any kind of technical things. She had started to laugh because this question came so shy and had then accepted his offer. And now, only some days later, they were both already sure that she was going to be a tech whiz by the end of her pregnancy.
Apart from the fact that it was fun to work with him, she also learned something new, something she could maybe use in the future and this made her desk duty a little more bearable.
Another thing they started to do was that one of them always bought lunch for the whole unit by midday and today it was Erin's turn as the others were on a chase and she had to stay in the 21st, putting together some more pieces with Mouse and supporting her team from there.
″Hey Lindsay,″ she heard the familar voice of her desk Sergeant just when she wanted to leave the precinct. She turned her head around and looked at her. She had completely forgotten that Platt's honeymoon was over already.
″Sergeant Platt,″ she said with a smile and went over to her. ″Or is it McHolland now?″
″Are you crazy? A Platt stays a Platt,″ she answered and Erin recognized that the wedding and the honeymoon obviously haven't changed her attitude.
″Alright,″ Erin grinned. ″How was the honeymoon?″
″It was amazing and beautiful...and the rest you don't need to know about,″ she said all dry.
″I didn't ask for the dirty details though but okay,″ Erin answered just as dry.
″Dirty details?″ Platt echoed and her eyes widened. ″But think what you want, I will remain silent,″ she added and a little smile rushed over her face.
″Of course you do,″ Erin chuckled and was about to go for finally heading to the next grocery store to buy some sandwiches and fruits. Strawberries in particular for herself. One week ago she's started to crave for them and she could easily eat them all day and night.
″Hey wait a second, not so fast,″ Platt called.
″What else?″ Erin asked and turned around again.
″Do you think I ordered you here just to do some smalltalk?″
″Don't I know it,″ Erin frowned.
″The answer is no. So here are some papers Chuckles hasn't filled out correctly. Give them to him and tell him I need them back by yesterday.″
″Yeah sure,″ Erin answered and took the papers that Platt handed her. ″Anything else?″
″Yes,″ she said and leaned her head down closer to Erin. ″Did you hear it?″ she whispered.
″Heard what?″ Erin asked in response and slightly raised her eyebrows.
″Someone in this district got knocked up...″ she whispered conspiratorial and waited a moment before she continued. ″Oh wait, Chuckles knocked you up, right?″ she then added with a voice that was slightly louder than before and laughed. For a moment Erin glared at her as didn't know what to say but it only took her some seconds to find her words again.
″Was this supposed to be funny? Because I didn't get the joke then, sorry Sarge,″ Erin answered all dry and turned around again, being tired of this whole conversation.
″Oh no I was all serious and I'm also serious now: you're looking good Erin.″
″Yeah, thanks for the compliment,″ Erin just waved aside and finally left the 21st.
Although she knew that this was how Platt was, that this was her attitude, she was kinda annoyed about how she had talked to her. At least Platt had then obviously realized it and had tried to save the situation but still, this wasn't something she wanted to hear and something that made her feel better at all...
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Two days later, Erin had her second ultrasound and of course Jay was with her again. For some days already he's been really excited about seeing their baby again while Erin's excitement was still kept within a limit, but for different reasons this time.
″Here we go,″ Dr. Hanson said after she's placed the wand on the slight swell of Erin's abdomen.
In almost the same moment their baby appeared on the black-and-white screen and Jay couldn't believe what he was seeing and Erin was quite fascinated, too.
″Wow,″ he smiled.
″Quite some change there, huh?″ Dr. Hanson laughed.
″A little,″ he answered and still glared at the screen in full fascination. Their baby already looked like a real baby, he could see its head, even its nose, its arms and its legs. ″It looks so big already.″
″It does but it's barely the size of an avocado.″
″Is it moving?″ Erin asked, being sure that she had just seen the baby's leg and arm move.
″It is,″ Dr. Hanson nodded. ″It's actually pretty active at the moment. You will soon be able to feel these movements.″
″Yeah?″ Erin asked and a little smile rushed over her face.
″Yes, within the next two weeks the baby should become strong enough so you can feel it fluttering around,″ she explained.
″What about me? When will I be able to feel it kicking from outside?″ Jay asked and Erin could see the excitement sparkling in his eyes.
″Guess you have to be patient Mr. Halstead. At least for around four more weeks, maybe even five or six.″
″Really?″ Jay sighed, looking slightly disappointed.
″Time will go by faster than you think,″ Dr. Hanson winked.
″I hope so,″ he said while Dr. Hanson turned the wand on Erin's belly for measuring the baby. For a second Erin had the impression that her doctor's face became a little concerned and she felt her heart dropping a little.
″Is the baby alright? Is it healthy?″ Erin asked.
″It's a bit small but...-″
″So it's not developing right?″ Erin immediately interrupted her.
″It's developed perfectly, Erin,″ Dr. Hanson assured her. ″It's just a bit small. Maybe from the meds you took in the beginning of your pregnancy.″
″So our baby will maybe have some issues later? Because of the meds?″ she asked and Jay heard the insecurity and fear in her voice. During the last two weeks he had recognized that she has started to care a little more about her pregnancy, that she had made another step into the right direction by starting to accept it and to care about the baby.
″Erin,″ Dr. Hanson said with a calm and understanding voice. ″From what I see here you have a healthy and perfectly developed baby. It's just a little small. But not in a way that it is significant. It still has 24 weeks to grow, so no worries. And believe me, when it comes to the delivery you'll be happy to have a smaller baby,″ she said and gave her an encouraging smile.
″Okay,″ Erin nodded and exhaled deeply.
″Do you guys want to know the gender of your baby?″ she then asked and glanced at the couple.
″You can already tell whether it is a boy or girl?″ Jay asked and his voice sounded stunned.
″Not for 100% sure but let's say for 80 to 90%, yes. So, do you wanna know?″
″Yes,″ Jay said immediately.
″No,″ Erin said at the same time and shook her head.
″What, why?″ Jay asked her. She turned her head around and looked at him, saw that he was kinda disappointed.
″Because this is one of the last real surprises life has to offer,″ she shrugged and then gave him a shy smile.
″You sure?″ he asked, still hoping that she would maybe change her mind within the next seconds.
″I am. I don't wanna know. Let this be a surprise please,″ she twinkled at him.
″Okay, then we don't wanna know,″ Jay finally said, gave Erin a little twinkle back and then looked to Dr. Hanson again.
″Alright. In case you change your mind you can still find out during any other ultrasound. Or you can call...because I know it,″ she laughed.
″This isn't helping,″ Jay laughed and wasn't sure how he should be able to deal with his curiosity for the next 24 weeks. At the same time he also wasn't sure whether Erin's mentioned reason, that she wanted it to be a surprise, was the only reason why she didn't want to know whether they were having a boy or a girl, or whether there was more to the story.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
After their appointment they went for a little shopping trip and this time they managed to finish it without one of them freaking out. Erin refused to buy maternity pants already but found some new jeans whose fabric was quite stretchy. She also looked at some shirts but then decided that hers should fit her a little while longer. Hopefully. Afterwards they went to the grocery store to fill up Erin's empty fridge and after being back in her apartment, Jay started to cook her favorite dish, linguine with salmon and cream sauce and he also prepared a little dessert with lots of strawberries for her. She took a spot on the counter right next to him and grabbed for the little strawberry pieces he just had cut all the time.
″Why didn't you want to know the gender?″ he somewhen asked her casually, filling the sliced strawberry pieces into a big bowl.
″I told you my reason,″ she answered and slightly frowned while looking at him.
″But that wasn't the only reason, was it?″ he asked, scanning her for her reaction. Erin bit her lower lip and then looked down to the floor. He knew her so well, it was scary sometimes.
″Knowing the gender would make it real,″ she admitted with a voice that was nothing more than a whisper.
″Er,″ he sighed and placed one of his hands on her knee, softly grabbed her chin with his other hand, so she had to look him in the eyes. ″You're 16 weeks. This,″ he said and then caressed her stomach with his fingers, ″is real.″
″Just because I'm 16 weeks doesn't mean this baby is safe Jay. And with knowing the gender you would become too excited...and maybe me too. It would become real. It's still a long road to go. Women lose babies at 20 weeks, like Camille did. Babies are born premature and don't make it and babies are stillborn or die at birth. There are so many things that can still happen. I just want to...protect you. And me. Maybe.″
″Why are you focussing on the worst case scenario, Erin?″ he asked.
″Because bad things constantly happen in my life. I'm used to bad things happening and I'm used to worst case scenarios because they are a part of my life. Always have been,″ she said and as she still looked at him, she saw how a bright smile appeared on his face.
″Why are you smiling?″ she frowned.
″Some weeks ago you said having this baby is a bad thing. And now you say something happening to this baby is a bad thing,″ he answered with a low voice, his eyes still focussing hers, a smile still surrounding his lips. ″You care.″
″Guess I do,″ she nodded and then decided to open up to him a little more, to tell him about the things that were going on in her mind.
″I want to make this right Jay. I don't want to be like Bunny but yet I was in the beginning. When I talked with Hank on that...chaos-day...he called me selfish. Because I only thought about me not being ready for desk duty instead of the safety of our baby. And he was right. Bunny had always been selfish, had always only thought about herself instead of her children and I was on the best way to be like her, in fact I had acted like her until that day. I want to be the mother our son or daughter deserves to have although it's still hard for me at the moment to imagine being a mother. And that doesn't mean that I'm less scared as well. But yes, I care...and so I started to think about things that could go wrong. And it also brought back the memories that Camille had lost her baby at 20 weeks...″ she said.
Jay didn't say anything in response but covered her cheek with his palm and then placed the softest of kisses on her lips.
″Thank you,″ he then whispered.
″What for?″ she asked, furrowing a brow.
″For your honesty,″ he answered and gave her another little smile. ″And yes, it still is a long road but everything will go well and I know you're going to be a great mother Erin.″
She looked at him still being all insecure and Jay knew that she didn't really believe him, especially not the part with her being a great mother. That would surely take some more time until she stopped doubting her motherhood skills.
″We'll see,″ she shrugged. ″But the thing with getting surprised was a reason nonetheless,″ she then added and a little smile returned to her face.
″Don't you think it is kinda unfair that our doctor knows but we don't?″ he laughed.
″Don't you think it's really nice to get surprised? Like really surprised?″ she grinned.
″It's not even a real surprise. It can only be a boy or a girl. It would be a surprise if we had like twenty options.″
″Yeah but with just two options you know one thing for sure already.″
″Do I?″
″Mhm. It's either the one or the other,″ she winked and this time it was on her to kiss him.
″Awesome,″ he chuckled. ″But alright, we'll wait. But when the day comes and you'll start to get curious and decide you wanna know, I will use my veto, I promise,″ he laughed with a playful smirk on his face.
″You wouldn't do that because we both know you want to know so badly and anyway, it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl,″ she teased him but then got serious from one second to the other. ″Uhm Jay, is it possible that our dinner is just burning into the pot?″
″Oh damn it,″ he cursed, turned around immediately and tried to save the cream sauce he has left completely unattended and now couldn't be saved anymore.
Erin got down from the counter and opened some of the windows while Jay emptied the burned sauce into the sink.
″What now?″ he asked her through the room.
″Well we have linguine...and strawberries...sounds like a delicious mix, don't you think?″ she chuckled.
″Uah, gross...but maybe for you...″ he frowned and was kinda disgusted by the thought of eating linguine mixed with strawberries. With her crazy strawberry craving she was having at the moment this was maybe at least an option for her.
″Naah, I don't think I wanna try that. But there should be a pesto in the fridge.″
″Yep, here we go,″ he said after opening the fridge and showed her the glass with pesto.
″It's all about improvisation,″ she said some minutes later when they were sitting on her couch and ate their pasta.
″Sssshh, it was all planned like this because we're the greatest cooks in the world,″ Jay laughed and in this moment he was just simply happy. Happier than the weeks before. Erin had made some huge steps within the past two weeks, was able to admit that she had made some mistakes. And much more important, it seemed like she had finally accepted her pregnancy and even more, she has started to care about their baby. Has maybe started to get a little excited about their future, their tomorrow.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
More days of August passed and a heat wave rolled over Chicago. It was impossible to spend more than five minutes outside and for the first time Erin was kinda glad that she was sitting behind a desk and didn't have to chase some gangsters through the heated streets of Chicago. Only the air conditioners in the bullpen made work more or less bearable but even with them it was still too hot. The same applied for their apartments and for the fourth night in a row it was impossible to lay in bed without starting to sweat after ten minutes.
Jay tried his best to get some sleep anyway but with Erin being even more unsettled and turning around from one side to the other all the time it was even more impossible to fall asleep than it already was.
″You should try to sleep,″ Jay yawned and checked the time on his alarm clock. It was 1.30am.
″What do you think I'm trying?″ Erin snapped, let out a long sigh and sat up. ″I took a cold shower before going to bed and I can't wear any less,″ she said and looked down to her panties and her short top that only covered her breasts. Jay turned the light of his bedside lamp on and then turned around to her.
″Same here, Er,″ he said as pulled himself onto his elbow and cocked his head to one side. ″But it doesn't get any better when you turn around every minute.″
″I noticed that,″ she said, rubbing her tired eyes. ″Do you have ice cream here?″
″Ice cream?″ he echoed and raised his eyebrows.
″Yeah, ice cream. Strawberry ice cream preferably. I'm hungry and ice cream is refreshing.″
″Erin it's 1.30am.″
″Your baby doesn't care what time it is,″ she said with a little laugh.
″I can make you a sandwich then, that helps better against hunger than ice cream.″
″But I want ice cream,″ she grinned all innocent.
″Okay, then ice cream,″ Jay also grinned but slightly shook his head by her late night cravings. He was used to her strawberry cravings throughout the day, but cravings for ice cream in the middle of the night, that was new.
He got out of the bed and slipped into some shorts and a shirt.
″What are you doing?″ Erin frowned.
″Getting you some strawberry ice cream,″ he winked.
″You don't have to do that. I can eat the ice cream that you have here.″
″You and the little one want strawberry ice cream, so you'll get strawberry ice cream,″ he said, leaned down to her and kissed her speechless lips.
″I love you,″ she whispered after the kiss and looked at him with thankful eyes.
″I love you, too,″ he smiled and then left her alone in his apartment.
Erin laid back down into the cushions and couldn't help but had to smile. She had just gotten another proof that Jay Halstead was the most caring human being to ever walk the Earth. How did she even deserve someone like him? Someone who would do anything for her and even more. Someone who went to the next open store in the middle of the night just to get her the ice cream she craved for. How did she get so blessed to call this someone her boyfriend, her partner for life? In this moment, she felt so loved, it made her heart jump up and down in her chest.
″Your daddy is a little crazy sometimes,″ she grinned as she looked down to her small belly and placed her hand on it. ″He has the biggest heart someone can have...I wouldn't know what to do without him,″ she added pensively and then got up to get a glass of water in the kitchen.
When Jay came back to his place about 30 minutes later he heard the shower running in the bathroom. He stored the ice cream in the freezer and then walked to the bathroom.
″Baby I'm back,″ he called so she wouldn't get a heart attack when he joined her.
″I'm almost done here,″ she answered and Jay opened the door to slip into the bathroom as well. He stripped his clothes in no time and then joined her in the shower.
″No need to hurry,″ he murmured into her ear from behind while the cold water ran down his back and his fingers started to caress her silky skin, softly tickled the slight swell of her stomach.
Erin shivered by his soft touches but at the same time she felt her body heating up just from him standing so close to her.
″You know, I took this shower to cool down. Not to heat up even more,″ she chuckled and turned around to him, immediately seeing the passion and desire in his eyes.
″We can take more showers all night long afterwards,″ he grinned and kissed her, caressing her tongue with his.
″What about my ice cream?″ she asked after this longing kiss while her fingers also started to caress his skin.
″You don't really think about ice cream right now?″ he asked back and a soft moan escaped from his lips as her fingers travelled down further.
″Of course I do,″ she teased him, the same smirk reflecting in her eyes that was also on her lips.
″Oh shut up,″ he laughed and pressed his lips against hers again and then lifted her up by her thighs to heat their bodies up and cool them down at the same time some moments later...
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
The heat didn't go away the following day either. The case they were currently working on was quite a heavy one and after Erin and Antonio had interrogated one of their suspects in the morning, getting a major lead from him, it was time for the whole unit to roll out and finally finish this case by the afternoon. Of course Erin had to stay in the bullpen again and so her and Mouse tried to gather even more information they could give Hank and the rest of their team.
″For you,″ Mouse said and placed a glass with water and ice cubes on her desk and then sat down on his own desk.
″Thank you,″ Erin smiled, being a little perplex. ″You didn't have to do that.″
″I know. But Jay said I shall take care that you drink enough,″ he shrugged and gave her a little smirk. ″Don't tell him that I told you.″
″Do you think he'll kill you for that?″ Erin laughed.
″Naah, he's not that violent. But he doesn't want to look like the overprotective father, you know?″
″Mouse, we both know that's what he is,″ she chuckled.
″Yep,″ Mouses nodded. ″I think it's cute though.″
″It is,″ Erin agreed with a grin surrounding her lips but within one second that grin fell from her face.
″Erin, are you okay?″ Mouse asked her with a worried voice instantly as he saw her facial expression change and her hand going from the desk to her stomach suddenly.
″I don't know,″ she answered quietly and looked down to her stomach, but the strange feeling was already gone.
″Is something wrong with the baby? Are you in pain?″ he asked and got up from his chair to walk over to her desk.
″It was no pain,″ she said and shook her head. ″But maybe something is wr-,″ she added just as she felt it again. She looked down to her hand again, felt that flutter once more and in this moment she knew what was happening. She has totally forgotten about the things her doctor had told her during her appointment two weeks ago.
″Oh my God,″ she said.
″What is it?″ Mouse asked in panic. Erin looked up to him and saw him being so worried that she was sure he was about to call an ambulance any second.
″Nothing's wrong,″ she answered and a little smile appeared on her face. ″It's the baby. I felt it moving for the first time.″
″Did you?″ Mouse asked. ″So everything is fine?″
″Yes, I think everything is super fine,″ she smiled, softly stroking her belly with her thumb and having again the feeling that butterflies were flying around in there.
″Okay. You sure? Otherwise I can drive you to Med.″
″Mouse, I'm good, honestly,″ Erin assured him. ″So let's get back to work,″ she said, got up from her chair and then kinda guided him towards his desk.
Just some 15 minutes later they both stared onto the screen of the computer, both being quite shocked of what they just had found out. For a second being unable to move and instead of the feeling of having butterflies fluttering around in her stomach, Erin felt like someone had punched her in the gut.
″I call Voight,″ Erin said after she had found her voice again and had to swallow hard. She grabbed her phone from her desk and paced up and down the bullpen, anxiously waiting for Hank to answer. When he finally answered she didn't waste any time.
″Don't go into the building. We just found out that there's maybe a bomb inside,″ she said and only now she realized that she has held her breath since dialing Hank's number.
″Got it,″ Hank answered and hung up and immediately spoke orders into his pager.
″Halstead, Ruzek get the hell out of there,″ he called. ″We got information that there's maybe a bomb-″ he said but in this moment his voice was drowned out by a detonation...
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Jay had the taste of blood in his mouth and tried to open his eyes but they were so heavy and he was endlessly tired. He tried to remember what just had happened but he wasn't able to put all of the pieces together. The bomb he had developed went off, that was all he knew. Excruciating pains went through every single part of his body and he was barely able to breathe neither was he able to move. The only thing he heard was a constant ringing and buzzing in his ears and then the blurry picture of his colleague leaning over him appeared in front of his face.
″Jay,″ Adam said but all Jay heard was a dull voice which was far far away. He blinked some times, tried to open his eyes a little more and saw blood streaming down Adam's face.
″You're going to be fine, buddy, no worries. We'll get you out of here,″ he said in panic and pressed his hand on Jay's thigh. Only now he felt his warm blood running down his leg. Lots of blood. Another wave of excruciating pain swept through his body, his lungs, his abdomen and he moaned in pain. He didn't exactly knew this kind of pain but he's seen too many bomb explosion injuries during war, knew what happened in his body right now and although he wasn't able to think straight, he knew that this wasn't going to end well. Knew that he would break his promise. Knew that he would leave Erin behind. Alone. With their baby. Didn't know anymore when was the last time that he had told her that he loved her. That she was his world, his star, his sun and his moon. Was it really that long ago or why could he suddenly not remember anymore?
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
″Tell Erin...″ he started to whisper but stopped by the pain speaking created in his chest and his abdomen. He tried to take a breath, ignored the pain it caused and then grabbed Adam's arm. He had to tell him no matter what. She needed to know.
″Tell Erin I love her,″ he whispered and closed his eyes.
″No no no no no buddy. Not like this. You will tell her yourself, you hear me?″
Jay opened his eyes again and slightly shook his head. He would not be able to talk with the love of his life again. He would not be able to raise their child together. He would never know whether they had a son or a daughter, whether their baby had his eyes or hers. He would leave Erin behind when he had promised her to always be there for her. He felt tears burning in the corners of his eyes as he knew this would break her. Again. And he knew that this time no one would be able to catch her, to fix her, to keep her from falling apart.
″You will, Jay. You will. Just think about your baby, Jay. Your baby needs you, okay? You have to stay with me,″ Adam mumbled hauntingly. ″Damn, we need help in here!″ he then shouted desperately, having the feeling that minutes turned into hours.
His baby needed him. Erin needed him. They both needed him. He wasn't allowed to leave them alone. They shouldn't be forced to walk the earth without him. Jay gathered all the energy that was left in his wounded body, tried to keep his eyes open while he just wanted to close them, giving his body the sleep it needed and relieving it from the pain.
″Adam.″
″I'm here buddy, I'm here,″ he said, holding Jay's hand.
″Erin...she'll need you. All of you. Be there for her and don't let her go down that rabbit hole again. Be there for her...and the baby,″ he whispered with the last air that was left in his lungs before the darkness around him unstoppable closed in...
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes