45. Do You Believe In Magic?
First of all I wanted to say thank you for all your positive feedback on my 'little' rant (and on my last chapter of course)! I'm glad that I'm by far not the only one who feels like this. That being said, wasn't it awesome how much of a follow-up to the first Linstead fight we got in the last episode? *coughcough*. Seems like the resolution of their fight was really just a friggin' text message and all the other things that might happened in between the two episodes are up to our imagination (can't say we're not used to it by now *sigh*). We didn't even get the tiniest clue whether they worked things out and where they are right now. Is Erin still mad? Did they talk? Do they still have issues? Are they back being all in love? What happened to Erin's thoughts about leaving Chicago? Guess this was just a senseless, useless cliffhanger to make fans anxious because of course she was back at work, like nothing ever happened, like she never called her life into question. Ooh this little CPD bubble of focussing on the cases and not giving a shit about continuity is awesome.
And just to add another thing: when they already focus on the cases and don't have time for personal storylines, why on earth can't Jay sit next to Erin in that last scene in Molly's? Why can't he wrap his arm around her shoulder press a kiss against her temple? This would for sure not cost more screen time than showing Erin sitting next to Kim and Jay sitting at the bar and they could show the fans that they're doing fine and would also give us 5 seconds of happiness. Smh. There are just some things I'll never understand.
I hope CPD won't give me as many reasons for more rants for the remainder of the season but I guess we'll have to wait and see what they come up with. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to bash CPD, I love that show. But because I love it I'm this invested and that's why all these things just leave disappointment at the moment.
45. Do You Believe In Magic?
″This better be an urgent emergency. Like urgent urgent,″ Erin said after Kim had opened the door of her apartment on this Wednesday evening three weeks after Emilia's birth. An hour ago Kim had called her and begged her to come to her place as there was some kind of emergency. She hadn't told her all the details but of course Erin had instantly assured her best friend to come. So as Jay was not home because he was back to also working overtime, and today was the first time it would get really late as the unit was about to bust some gangbangers later the night, she had changed Emilia's clothes to her thick winter stuff as it was freezing cold again outside, had settled her in her car seat and had driven straight to Kim's place which was fifteen minutes from her apartment.
″It is...kinda,″ Kim chuckled nervously and let Erin inside.
″Kinda?″ Erin asked and raised her eyebrows while walking past her friend, the smell of fresh cooked food invading her senses in the most positive way. She placed the diaper bag on the floor and the car seat with her awake daughter on the couch and started undressing her.
″Yeah kinda,″ Kim said and joined Erin after closing the door. ″There's my sweetest little girl,″ she smiled at the little bundle of life dressed in a gray and white pajama with Winnie-the-Pooh on front, talking with a typical, silly baby-voice. ″She's so cute.″
″She wasn't that cute a couple of minutes ago when I put her in the car seat. Screaming like a maniac because I put her out of her bed and changed her clothes. Little monster, right Emmy?″ Erin smirked and stroked her baby's rosy cheek with her thumb.
″Oh, I'm sorry,″ Kim apologized immediately and felt a little bad that she'd called her and had in addition dramatized it all way too much. When Erin found out that there was actually not really an emergency, at least not one someone would ever call an emergency, she would most likely bite her head off.
″No worries, she calmed down ten minutes into our car ride. Seems like she likes driving just as much as I do,″ Erin laughed. ″So what's up?″ she asked and threw her own jacket and beanie over the back of the couch before she picked her baby up into her arms.
There it was, the one question Kim really didn't want to answer right now so she tried to play out time a little by focussing on the baby and stroking her tiny hand.
″Uhm...can I maybe hold her?″ she asked and it sounded almost shy.
″Yeah, sure,″ Erin winked and handed her the baby carefully. ″I'm always here for volunteers who want to prove their babysitting skills.″
″Hey Emilia, come to auntie Kim,″ she soothed and they both sat down on the couch, Kim giving Emilia her littlest finger so she could wrap her hand around it. ″She has Jay's eyes,″ she stated and couldn't turn her gaze away from her. Babies really had their own magic to mesmerize people completely.
″She has,″ Erin nodded smilingly. She still thought Emilia was the perfect mix of both, her and Jay, but everyone else kept telling different, that she was all Erin except of her bright blue eyecolor. ″So back to the 'kinda' emergency, what's wrong?″
Damn it, Kim thought and kept her gaze focused on Emilia while her mind tried to find a better explanation than the truth. Unfortunately there was none and playing out time wouldn't work for a second time for sure.
″Soooo,″ she said before she started speaking almost a little too fast for Erin to follow. Which was exactly her plan. Packing as much words into one sentence as possible. ″I cooked Fettucine Alfredo because someone was supposed to join me for dinner tonight. Someone who's always hungry which means I naturally cooked a lot. But now he can't come and I don't wanna eat Fettucine Alfredo for the next five days and I knew you were alone at home too, because Jay's also stuck at work and we didn't have a girl's evening in ages and...I thought it would be nice,″ she choked and took a deep breath after finishing her endless sentence, turning her head with her blushed cheeks to Erin.
″Wait wait wait,″ Erin stumbled and her mind needed a moment to process all of these information. Because there were a lot of things that made her curious right now and she tried to weigh what she should adress first.
″So you made me wake up my baby, put her in her winter romper and come here in a rush just because you cooked too much? This is the most absurd emergency ever,″ she stated.
″We really needed another girl's evening, you can't deny that,″ Kim grinned innocently.
″That's seriously the only excuse that saves your life right now,″ Erin laughed and shook her head. ″You're crazy, you know that, right?″
″I know. But that's why you like me,″ Kim chuckled before she got serious again. ″Honestly, I didn't think about the fact that 7.30 is possibly bedtime, I'm sorry.″
″Never mind,″ Erin shrugged and then looked at her daughter who was still occupied with Kim's finger. ″At the moment she seems pretty satisfied with her new surroundings.″
″Of course she is because she's with her favorite auntie,″ Kim laughed.
″Yeah, keep telling that to yourself,″ Erin joked and decided to go one step further in analyzing Kim's monologue about why she'd called her.
″So you and Adam are back together?″ she asked all casual. And Kim's reaction was priceless and exactly how she had expected it to be. She turned her head around immediately and looked at Erin like a doe in the beam of the headlights. Big eyes, blushed cheeks, maybe even gasping for air and definitely searching for words.
″What? No,″ she spluttered and shook her head vehement. ″Why would you think that?″
″Kim, there's one thing you need to learn: although I'm on maternity leave doesn't mean I lost all my detective skills. They are still fully awake, every time of the day, no matter how exhausted I am,″ she said and only stopped to give her friend a meaningful glance. ″So you can talk as fast as you want, I still get it. You talked about how he can not come and you knew I was alone at home because Jay is also at work. How would you know about Jay still being at work if it wasn't because Adam told you they have an all-nighter ahead?″ Erin grinned. She simply loved putting pieces together and she enjoyed it even more when she could tell people about the picture these pieces formed, who didn't think someone would figure it out but rather thought they were sneaky enough. Although this one was a pretty easy one.
″Touché,″ Kim only sighed in response. ″You really enjoy that, don't you?″
″Oh yeah,″ Erin laughed. ″Although you could've made it at least a little more challenging.″
″Maybe next time,″ she grinned.
″Uh-huh,″ Erin nodded, deciding to get back to her main question as she was still curious about what she's missed within the last few weeks. ″So, what's going on there?″
″We're...taking things slow. As slow as that even a snail would pass us I guess,″ Kim finally confirmed and a special smile flitted across her face.
″So you're in the phase of hanging out together and having dinner together? As friends?″
″Well...″ she sighed. ″At the moment I don't know what we are. We're beyond the point of just being friends but we're not a couple either.″
″Friends with benefits?″ Erin asked outright.
″No!″ Kim choked and once again her cheeks blushed in embarrassment. ″Nothing happened there.″
″So why are you beyond the point of being friends then?″ she frowned.
″Because...we kissed on Valentine's Day,″ Kim admitted quietly but once again she couldn't hide a fond grin. It was obvious that she was thinking back to this evening when her lips and the lips of her ex had reunited.
″Oh come on, really? That's so clichée,″ Erin laughed.
″I knoooooow,″ she sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically. ″But it simply happened, just like in these corny movies where you eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream while watching them and think eeewww.″
″I wanna hear the full story now,″ Erin said and looked at her daughter who slowly drifted back to sleep. She reached for the cozy lime blanket that lay in the car seat and handed it to Kim. ″Swaddle it around her a little.″
With some help from Erin Kim wrapped the blanket around Emilia in a couple of seconds and luckily the newborn didn't wake up again instantly by the movement, so Kim could tell Erin what she was quite eager to hear now.
″So...he invited me for dinner in this real fancy place in the Loop and afterwards we went ice skating in the moonlight and then he brought me home and I hugged him and we looked into each other's eyes and yeah. You can work that out for yourself. But it was so different than all the kisses we shared before. So much more...intense. And it felt so right. It felt like there's now something between us that hadn't been there before,″ she said and she was clearly living these memories again, so Erin was kinda surprised when she continued talking with a voice that was completely different, rather pensive and quiet. ″Do you believe in magic, Erin? And with magic I don't mean the Wizard of Oz or Harry Potter. I mean this magic between two people. You know what I'm talking about?″
″I do,″ Erin nodded in response immediately. She didn't even have to think about it. She knew exactly what Kim was talking about. Her's and Jay's relationship was filled with this kind of magic and every single day it was dancing around them or there was this tender bond of magic sparkling between them, sometimes more, sometimes less, but it was always there. It was something far from simple attraction and lust and passion and chemistry. It was some kind of connection, it was real, it was love, it was trust and so much more than that. And it was impossible to describe with words because it was what it was: magic.
″You and Jay have it, right?″
″Yeah, I would say so,″ Erin smiled.
″I don't know whether Adam and I have it but it for sure felt magical that evening,″ Kim said and also smiled faintly before she inhaled a deep breath. ″I think I want to give us a second chance. Do you...do you think this is stupid?″
″Kim,″ Erin said and lay her hand on her friends's arm. ″It doesn't matter what I think. Or what anyone else thinks. This is your life and no one's business but yours. Do what makes you happy. Do what's right for you. You want to give your relationship with Adam another chance, then go for it. No one can read your fortune and tell you whether this is right or wrong, neither me, nor yourself. When you don't do it you'll maybe regret it one day because you'll never know how it would've turned out. When you do it you'll maybe regret it one day either because it didn't turn out in the way you imagined. But in the end we mostly regret not taking the chances we had. Only time will tell, so be brave and listen to your heart to do the right thing for you.″
″Did anyone ever tell you that you have a way with words?″ Kim asked and gave her friend a thankful smile. ″I think...I want this. I want Adam. Maybe I even want this with him...way in the future,″ she said and looked down to the sleeping baby.
″Do not go back to rush things, this wasn't the smartest plan last time,″ Erin grinned.
″Thanks for the reminder, but no, snail pace, you know?″ she chuckled. ″Dang, do I really consider taking this idiot back?″
″I knew this was bound to happen back in October. It was just a matter of time,″ Erin smirked.
″Why did you never say something?″
″What should I have said? Hey Kim, I'm sure you and Adam will get back together because I can totally see the heart eyes and the spark right there?″ Erin asked. ″No, this was none of my business and I wanted you to figure things out yourself, without me influencing you.″
″Uh-huh,″ Kim nodded. ″Thank you. I'm glad you're my friend.″
″Not really the best kind of friend at the moment though.″
″You have other priorities now and you're still here when I need you,″ Kim winked. ″So, how about eating some Fettucine Alfredo?″
″That is actually a brilliant idea. Because that's what I came for, right?″ Erin laughed and the two women got up from the couch to fill their plates with pasta.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
While eating Fettucine Kim told Erin a story how this was actually Adam's famous dish and how he had once surprised her with his extraordinary cooking skills and now she'd wanted to surprise him with his favorite dish, showing him that hers were just as good. As Emilia had one of her better evenings and only started to cry when she became hungry, which Erin could simply fix with nursing her, and not general dissatisfaction, they continued their girl's evening beyond dinner and later found themselves on the couch, eating ice cream and gossiping about the newest rumors around the 21st, the fire station and Med.
″Talking about 51,″ Kim said, swallowing down her ice cream. ″Cruz will teach another Zumba class. In Antonio's gym this time. Monday and Thursday evenings from nine to ten, starting March 13th.″
″Well...that's nice for Cruz,″ Erin answered, not knowing what her friend wanted to tell her.
″Sylvie told me about it and said it's a lot of fun. So I think I will give it a try. What do you think about doing it together?″ Kim smiled.
″Zumba?″ Erin echoed and raised her eyebrows. ″I don't think I'm a Zumba person.″
″It's actually pretty hard and arduous. Come on Erin,″ she pleaded.
″I don't know...″
″It'll be fun. Sylvie and Gabby will be there, Maggie and Natalie want to come, April and Sarah are thinking about it, even Platt considers it.″
″Platt? Do we really wanna do Zumba with our desk sergeant?″ Erin chuckled.
″Just seeing Platt doing Zumba is worth it,″ Kim grinned. ″Come on, give it a try.″
″Kim, even if I would want to come, what am I going to do with Emmy?″ she asked and looked at her sleeping baby in the car seat.
″I'm convinced Jay will be happy to take care of her all alone twice a week for two hours.″
″What if he has to work late like today? It happens all the time.″
″Then you can easily bring her to the gym with you,″ Kim answered. It seemed like she had a solution for everything but for Erin it wasn't that easy.
″And let her sleep in her stroller in a room with loud music?″ Erin asked back and raised her eyebrows. No matter how good and deep the sleep of babies was, this was something she would for sure not do. She wanted Emilia to have as peaceful surroundings as possible, especially in the evening.
″She can sleep in Antonio's office, there's always someone around who can call you when she's crying.″
″I have the feeling you had way more time to think about your arguments than I had,″ Erin grinned and slightly shook her head, sensing there was no way out of this. And maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. She wanted to get back in shape anyway, wanted to hit the gym within the next few weeks for the first time to work on the comeback of her muscles and abs, and taking part in Cruz's Zumba class with lots of women she knew and liked was for sure funnier than running on the treadmill or lifting weights all alone.
″Of course I have. I knew you would be a tough piece of work,″ Kim laughed.
″Alright I'm in,″ Erin finally spoke out the words Kim wanted to hear.
″This is going to be awesooooome,″ Kim squeaked, the brightest of smiles spreading over her face.
They kept on talking about Cruz's famous Zumba class a little while longer and when Erin came up with the explanation that she needed to get back into shape for the wedding anyway, much more for buying a wedding dress in spring, they've found another topic they kept on talking about for almost an hour and somehow completely forgot time while discussing wedding locations and shops to buy wedding dresses as Kim had of course devoted herself with everything that had to do with weddings a little more than Erin.
It was almost 11pm when Erin left Kim's apartment but before the latter could close the door, Erin turned around again as a sudden thought has come up in her mind, something she hadn't really thought about before.
″Did you forget something?″ Kim frowned when Erin walked back to her.
″Uhm...no...well yes...basically,″ Erin spluttered and chuckled slightly about this mess of words.
″Well, okay,″ Kim laughed.
″I forgot to ask you whether you want to be my maid of honor,″ Erin said and smiled faintly at her friend whose mouth dropped open a little by this question.
″There's...,″ she started but her voice came cracked, so she cleared her throat before she continued talking. ″There's nothing I'd like to do more,″ she smiled and Erin was sure to see some small tears of emotion sparkling in her eyes.
″Great, thank you,″ Erin smiled, let Kim hug her once again and then waved goodbye to her friend who still looked all perplex.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
March approached with big steps and Erin more and more found a routine in her new role as a housewife and mother throughout the day and she wondered how she ever could've thought that her life with a newborn would consist of staring at walls. Because it was anything but boring. In the mornings she always did the laundry or cleaned anything else in their apartment as there was always something that needed to be cleaned or to be done. But she also enjoyed to just lie down on the floor next to her daughter on the cozy lamb-looking-like baby mat in the nursery, to stare at her or to show her some of her stuffies and other toys. Emilia was already up a little more throughout the day and seemed to realize her surroundings more.
After an easy morning they always went for an one hour stroll and when they just needed a couple of things from the grocery store Erin combined the stroll with paying the store around the corner a quick visit. And the rest of the day consisted of either going to the grocery store by car and cooking or enjoying a quiet afternoon at home, as quiet as it could be with a newborn, or with visiting her favorite people in the bullpen for two hours when she knew they had not much to do anyway or were just putting pieces together and following leads.
When Jay came home from work they spent their evenings mostly all lazy, on the couch with watching a movie while Jay cuddled with Emilia. Ever since he'd returned to work the evening belonged to him and from the moment he unlocked the door of their apartment to the moment they went to bed he was the one to do everything. Bathing her, changing her, giving her the bottle, calming her down, rocking her to sleep, letting her sleep on his chest. He needed this. These pure, peaceful moments with his daughter. Especially after hard days, after seeing brutal crimes and after emotional talks with relatives and friends of their victims he needed these perfect moments of pure joy that showed him that the world was not only bad.
They both couldn't believe how fast time went and asked themselves on the 1st of March how it was possible that Emilia was already a month old. To celebrate this day a little they went out to a nice restaurant in downtown in the evening for the first time as a family of three and surprisingly it didn't end in a catastrophe but worked pretty well. Afterwards they strolled through the still busy city, Jay pushing the stroller all proud with one hand while his other arm was wrapped around Erin.
With Emilia turning one month old, Erin's doctor also gave her the green light that she could slowly start to workout again, so after giving herself another week, this was the first thing she did on the morning of the 8th of March. She hit the gym, that was a 20-minutes walking distance away from their apartment, and discussed a plan with one of the trainers who told her exactly what she should and could do and how she could increase the level slowly. Of course Emilia was with her, sleeping in her stroller close by. As Erin had nursed her right before they'd left the apartment, she only cried once because of her diaper, so she changed it and waited until Emmy was more or less back to sleep before she put her back in the stroller and trained a little more. She figured that having a little break in between wasn't the worst thing but rather a welcome change to regain energy.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Monday evening came and it was time for the first Zumba class with Kim and the rest of the girls she knew and she had to admit, she was honestly excited about it.
″Byebye Minnie,″ Erin almost sang and placed a kiss on Emilia's head as the baby looked over Jay's shoulder. It was 8.30pm and usually she was asleep at this time but this evening she was a little grumpy and unsettled. Erin had asked Jay whether she should rather stay at home but he had assured her that he would get it handled. And of course he would, she didn't doubt that for one second. Jay was the most amazing father Emilia could wish for and seeing the two of them together still melted Erin's heart every time.
″And byebye daddy,″ she smirked and melted her lips with Jay's for a quick second.
″You sure you wanna do sports again after you cried all weekend how you have the worst charley horse ever and how everything hurts and you can't move?″ Jay teased her, grinning at her all innocent.
″I didn't cry babe,″ she objected.
″You whined every time you had to get up or move your body,″ Jay chuckled.
″I didn't whine. I...complained. A little,″ she smirked.
″A little?″ Jay echoed and laughed teasingly.
″Yeah, a little little. But whatsoever, it's almost gone now and doing more sports only helps...I hope,″ she laughed.
″I hope so, too. Because I'm not sure whether I can take it again when you moan all the time...for the wrong reason,″ he joked, the most dorky grin ever covering his lips.
″You're an idiot,″ she chuckled with a shake of her head and turned around to leave.
″Just saying, it's about time that you moan for the right reason again,″ he teased. She turned her head to him again, her cheeks were slightly blushed and she couldn't hide a grin.
″You know, I'm really happy that our daughter is too young to understand this conversation, really happy,″ she said all dry before she turned around again and left the apartment with the second attempt.
″Oh Emmy, you better start to learn ignoring mommy's and daddy's dirty talk. And maybe you should learn in general to ignore us doing the dirty stuff and better not interrupt us. Like last night. Daddy doesn't like that. But you have the big advantage that you're the cutest little girl and daddy's favorite, so I can't even be mad at you,″ he chuckled and placed a kiss on the side of Emilia's head.
Almost two weeks ago, when Erin had been at her doctor's office to get back on birth control, her doctor had not only given her the green light to do sports again, but also to have sexual intercourse again whenever she felt ready for it. Of course their sex-life has been stone-dead these last six weeks and yesterday evening could've been the first post-baby sex when cuddling turned into kissing, into canoodling and almost into completely losing it...
Both of them being somehow sick of just cuddling and maybe a tad bit impatient to feel each other again, Jay leaned over Erin and after kissing her a little more intense and longer and teasingly than usual, he looked into her eyes as if he was asking for her permission for the things they both knew were about to happen if they didn't force themselves to stop instantly. The desire in her eyes was real, maybe almost as big as his own. She didn't say anything, just smiled faintly at him. Silent communication, telling him that she was ready and that they could try it, unless it would hurt too much. He brushed a strand out of her perfect face and then brought his lips down to hers to kiss her again. It started slow and soft, their lips melting in passion until their kisses deepened and their tongues started to explore each other's mouths. He felt how she placed her hand on his bare back and pulled him closer while her other hand found its spot on his neck. His left hand traveled under her shirt and touching her skin softly he could feel the goosebumps it created at this exact spot and most likely over all her body. And of course his body was already reacting, too, just like it always did. Erin felt his cock throbbing against her thigh through the fabric of his sweatpants while his hands traveled up further and found her bare breasts.
″Jay,″ she whispered and suppressed a groan by feeling his fingers caressing her nipples softly and carefully because they were a little sore.
″Ssssshhh,″ he mumbled and crashed her lips again but unfortunately she slightly pushed him away. ″Erin,″ he moaned in frustration.
″You have a condom?″ she asked and rolled over to her bedside table to turn the light on and to look for a condom in the depth of her drawer.
″A condom?″ Jay frowned and leaned over her body to also catch a glimpse into her drawer. ″You're back on birth control, we don't need a condom.″
″I'm on birth control for not even two weeks which means my body is absolutely not used to it and women are super fertile after giving birth, so you are going to cover your little friend for at least the next four weeks or nothing is going to happen between us...which would be a pity,″ she chuckled slightly before a frustrated sigh escaped from her lips. ″I don't have one.″
″Alright, let me check,″ Jay said and rolled over to his side of the bed, hoping that there would be one from whenever they'd needed condoms for the last time ages ago. Luck was on their side tonight and he found one in the deepest corner of his drawer.
″Happy now?″ he murmured after turning to Erin again, showing her the little package with the important content.
″Uh-huh,″ she nodded and this time it was on her to lean over him to first place kisses in his neck before finding his lips. They started their foreplay all over again but even before Erin came to the point of ripping the wrapping of the condom open, Emilia's crying filled the air in the bedroom and gone was all the romance.
″This is not happening now,″ Jay moaned but Erin had already stopped with teasing him with her kisses and touches and was about to get up. Gone was the possible reunion of their bodies.
″Guess it is,″ Erin sighed, got up and picked Emilia up from her bassinet.
″Oh baby girl, we should really work on your timing,″ she soothed and sat down in the bed again, leaned back against the cushions and settled her crying baby against her breast.
″This is something I will not forgive you for a long time, princess,″ Jay said and although he was anything but happy he managed to chuckle slightly.
″Now that I think about it,″ Erin said and kept on looking down to her daughter, ″I'm not sure whether I could've done it. With her in the room. I mean, it's awkward to know that she...hears it and stuff.″
″Erin she has no clue what's happening.″
″Yeah, but still, don't you find it awkward to know that we're not alone? I don't think I can do this as long as she sleeps in here,″ she said and the last smile dropped from Jay's face by these words.
″W...wait, she will sleep in here until she's at least three months old,″ he noticed.
″That is correct,″ Erin confirmed and looked at him for the first time, saw the kinda shocked expression on his face and she really felt a little compassion towards him. First no scrabble for six weeks, then their daughter interrupted their possible first post-baby scrabble-session and now he obviously thought about being celibate for another two months.
″But we have other spots in this apartment that proved their qualities for playing scrabble, don't we?″ she smirked mischievously and gave him a little wink.
″Yeah I think there should be some,″ he answered. ″And you know, we can always push the bassinet into another room for an hour,″ he added and this time it was him who smirked mischievously before he paid the bathroom a visit.
″That was a fun night, right?″ Jay said and shifted his almost 6-week-old daughter down into his arms before he sat down on the couch with her, Emilia staring at him with her big blue eyes. She was so focused on people already, especially him and Erin of course, it was incredible. And as if she wanted to agree that she found it indeed funny, she gave him a smile. The very first real bright smile. Jay's heart almost exploded in his chest. His daughter was smiling at him in the cutest way and although it's just been a brief moment, Jay was absolutely over the moon.
″Did you just give daddy a smile, Emmy? Huh, did you just give me a little smile?″ he asked, making silly baby faces while he was talking to her so she would maybe bless him with another smile.
″Will you do me the favor and give me another big smile or nah?″ he asked but instead of showing him her tiny smile again, she yawned and grimaced which was just as cute.
″Alright, I got the message, maybe tomorrow,″ he chuckled and lay back down on the couch, letting Emilia rest on his chest, and turned the TV on.
″But you know what Emmy,″ Jay whispered while covering her with the blanket he grabbed from the backrest of the couch. ″We're not going to tell mommy about this, okay? We're not going to tell her that you gave me your first real smile because I think she would be a little sad about this. She's the one who deserves your first smile because she takes care of you almost 24/7. So you better show her your smile soon, too and until then we'll keep our little secret, deal?″ he asked her, kissed her head again and then covered her tiny back with his hand protectively before he turned his attention to the TV and some documentary about Antarctica.
As proud and delighted and happy as he was that he'd just gotten and seen Emilia's first real, bright smile, he really didn't want to reveal this to Erin. She did a hell of a job at the moment, was the most perfect mother and in his opinion she deserved Emilia's first smile more than he did. So he would stay quiet about it and would patiently wait for the day Erin would tell him ecstatically that Emmy had smiled for the very first time and would then be delighted with her.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
After sleeping on Jay's chest for almost an hour, the peace was over when Emilia started to scream. He sat up and first tried to calm her by rubbing her back softly and talking to her but when it didn't help, he went to the nursery to check her diaper, finding the problem right there.
″So my naked baby girl, are we satisfied now again, yeah?″ he asked after cleaning her and leaned down to kiss her bare belly, suddenly feeling a wet blotch occuring on his shirt. He only needed a second to sense what this warm fluid was.
″You didn't just pee on me, did you?″ Jay asked her and straightened himself, seeing very well that she had peed on him. ″Oh well, you peed on me, amazing,″ he chuckled and took his shirt off before finally putting her a new diaper on.
″Note to myself: always make sure that everything's covered before getting up to nonsense,″ he laughed and closed the straps of the diaper.
″You know Emilia, you really could've warned me somehow,″ he said while dressing her in her grey-and-white-and-purple striped stretchie for the night again, covering her feet with cozy socks. ″And just that we're on the same page about this: this little accident stays between the two of us as well,″ he chuckled and once again Emilia stared at him attentively as if she was able to understand every word.
He picked her up, grabbed his dirty shirt, went to the bathroom to throw it in the laundry basket and then went to the bedroom to get a new one and bring his little girl to bed.
″But no matter that you peed on me and no matter how many more times this might happen within the next years, I love you so much, Emmy. More than you will ever know,″ he whispered before placing her in her bassinet. Her eyes were already heavy as he stroked over her head and watched her for a couple of minutes. He still could easily stare at her every day all day long. When she started to lull away, he went to his closet to get a new shirt and when he looked into the bassinet again before leaving the bedroom, her closed eyelids with the long lashes showed him that she was already in dreamland.
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
Erin returned from her Zumba class not even an hour later and literally fell onto the couch right next to him.
″How was it?″ he asked, turning his attention from Netflix to his fiancée and he had to suppress a laughter as she looked completely done with the world.
″It was fun,″ she grinned, blowing a strand, that had loosened from her messy ponytail, out of her face, ″but holy hell, I didn't think it would be this hard. It's seriously crazy and I might gasped like a steam enginge but I feel so good now,″ she yawned and stretched her body to give her aching muscles some relief.
″So you wanna keep doing it?″
″Natalie, Sylvie, Kim, Gabby, Platt and Maggie were there and we laughed a lot, so yeah, I think I'd like to go there twice a week if possible,″ she shrugged. ″I mean if it's okay for you?″
″Of course I'm okay with it. Do whatever you want, babe,″ he smiled and pulled her into his embrace.
″I just feel bad because the evening is the only time of the day when we see each other and can spend time together and I'll be out and about two times a week.″
″The week has five other evenings,″ he winked. ″And I thought that we could maybe arrange a weekly date night. Where Hank or Will or maybe Kim take care of Emmy and we go out for dinner, to the theater, to the Bulls or Hawks game or to play squash, take dancing lessons, whatever. Just the two of us once a week for an evening. What do you think?″
″I would like that,″ she smirked, liking this idea a lot. She loved their baby and their new life and enjoyed every minute of it but in between their parental duties and work it was important that they still had time for each other, time they could cherish as a couple and having this time once a week was a really nice thought.
″Me too,″ he murmured and placed a kiss on her temple only to have the taste of salt on his lips instantly.
″Not such a brilliant idea to kiss me before I took the shower,″ she chuckled when she saw how he grimaced his face.
″I hate to break it to you, but you're smelling,″ he teased her.
″That happens when you do Zumba and have the stamina of a 70-year-old. Seriously, even Platt is fitter than I am,″ she sighed
″Platt wasn't pregnant for the last nine months and she didn't give birth six weeks ago.″
″But she's basically a hundred years old,″ Erin laughed.
″Well...this statement better stays between us because otherwise the news will read: Drama in the 21st; Desk Sergeant kills her own Detective after Zumba class,″ he laughed.
″Most probably,″ she chuckled in response, imagining Platt's reaction if she would say this statement in front of her. No matter that Platt loved her, she would for sure not survive this day.
″Plus it'll only take a couple of weeks and you'll be back to being better than her,″ he grinned.
″I sure hope so,″ she said and got out of his embrace, bracing herself up to take the much needed shower.
″What are you doing?″ Jay asked, sounding a little disappointed. Cuddling with her in the evening was the best, even when she was smelling of sweat a little.
″Working on my scent,″ she winked and shuffled towards the bathroom but halfway through the room, she turned around to him again. ″How long is Emmy already sleeping?″
″Not even an hour, so no worries, you don't have to hurry and even if she wakes up and is hungry, I'm here and can give her the bottle,″ he assured her.
″This is not why I was asking but good to know that it seems like I have time for a long shower,″ she answered huskily, giving him a meaningful glance combined with a naughty grin before she left him alone in the living room.
Of course Jay got the message instantly. He'd heard which words she'd emphasized and he knew this little grin too well and this glance was also not new for him. He felt his heartbeat quicken in excitement a little but tried to keep himself cool. Emilia could still wake up any second and disturb their plan again. He waited a couple of minutes to give Erin some time to start her shower, went to the bedroom to grab the important little package and then sneaked into the bathroom.
″I already thought you didn't get the message,″ Erin said from inside the shower while he was stripping his clothes as fast as possible.
″I totally got the message, no worries,″ he answered huskily and slipped into the shower with one galant move.
″Good,″ she smirked before their lips melted in a longing, passionate, hot kiss, as hot as the water that streamed down their backs...
XxXxXxXxXxXxX
″Holy hell,″ Erin said breathlessly when she stepped out of the shower behind Jay, still having the feeling that the air around them was unbelievably hot although they'd ended their little scrabble-session with lots of cold water to cool down. ″That was...steamy.″
″Not bad for the first post-baby sex,″ Jay smirked and handed her a towel, roaming all the curves, that were still left from her pregnancy, with his eyes, a somehow bad feeling overcoming him out of nowhere.
″Not bad at all,″ she grinned back at him.
″Mhm,″ he nodded while wrapping his towel around his waist and watching her how she dried herself off. ″Can I ask you something?″
″Yeah, sure,″ she answered and frowned by the change of his voice. Out of a sudden he appeared so serious.
″Did it hurt?″ he asked quietly, fearing that he might had hurt her, suddenly feeling guilty for whatever reason, for maybe getting lost in his passion and not being gentle enough but too hard for the first time after she'd given birth.
″A little,″ she shrugged and slipped into her fresh panties and Jay's shirt he'd worn earlier. It wasn't a big deal for her. She'd expected that it would hurt up to a certain degree. When he didn't answer anything, she kept on reassuring him that there was no need for him to worry.
″It was nothing against how much giving birth hurts. And it was absolutely worth it,″ she smirked and gave him a little, playful wink when she saw his concerned face.
″I'm sorry, I shouldn't have forced you and I should've kept myself under control better,″ he murmured, staring down to the floor.
″Hey babe,″ she almost whispered and closed the gap between them, cupped his cheek with her hand. ″You didn't force me to do anything. I wanted this, too. Because I missed this, you, us. And it was incredible. It was hot. It was what I needed. I think first post-baby sex always hurts somehow and I promise you, it only hurt a little and it's not that kind of pain that would keep me from doing it again on the bathroom floor right now,″ she chuckled slightly.
″Maybe we should first regain our energy and save round two for tomorrow night, huh?″ he asked back but fortunately a smile also returned to his face.
″Not a bad idea,″ she grinned. Standing on her tiptoes, she pressed a gentle kiss against his lips. ″I love you.″
Wrapping his arms around her body and burying his face in her wet hair that smelled of raspberry he murmured: ″I love you more...″
This chapter was kind of a jubilee-chapter for me as I posted my very first chapter of this story exactly one year ago! So time to say a huge THANK YOU for all the ongoing support, feedback, reviews, likes, favorites and messages over the past year! You guys are amazing and although I don't know whether I can keep this story up for another year, I can assure you that I have enough ideas to continue it for quite a while! :) And even if I ever run out of ideas for this one, I have enough ideas for new stories...if only I had more time to write two or three at the same time :D
Anyway, please leave a review and tell me your thoughts about this chapter! The next one is called "Brothers" and you can look forward to a little bit of Jay-Will-Mouse-Bromance! :)