70. Full House

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70. Full House

The rest of August consisted of hot and humid days that passed quickly, summer still in full force as September came closer. They used the days of Erin's sick leave, where Jay stayed at home with her as she was not allowed to even carry Emilia, to unpack all of their boxes to reduce the mess, Erin helping as much as her condition would allow, and to clean and decorate the house, including photo walls with many photos of all their loved ones and special memories in the hallway downstairs and upstairs. The photos of sunsets and sunrises printed on canvases found their spots on the walls in the living room, the ones with white beaches and crystal blue water from Anitgua in their bedroom, perfectly fitting to the colors they'd chosen for the walls there. Curtains were hung up in the nursery and the bedroom, decorative rugs found their spots on the wooden floor in the bedroom, nursery and living room and Jay went to shop for his 65-inch flatscreen and proudly installed it in his man cave at its destined place, so the first evening full of sports couldn't come soon enough. They added some decor stuff here and there and more framed pictures to the wall unit and their bedside tables, and slowly but steady the mess and chaos turned into the coziest and most beautiful home with lots of personal details.

With living in the suburbs, their morning routine changed as well as soon as Erin was allowed to work again by the end of August because much to her absolute displeasure they had to get up even earlier now, having breakfast, driving towards the city, dropping Emmy off at Carol's place, their nanny now also taking care of a ten-month-old girl named Adeline, which they liked a lot because Emmy would grow up with having someone almost her age around, and making it to the district by 7.45am. But the extra stress in the mornings was all worth it as especially the evenings in their very own backyard made up for it. Evenings in the kiddie pool or in the sand box. Evenings that consisted of pushing the swing back and forth, which turned out to be Emilia's new favorite thing, and of throwing balls that Crispin could chase. Evenings that were the most perfect when Jay didn't have to work through the night and could be home with them for some rare family time full of joy now that everything has settled and Erin was all healthy again, three very small scars being the only reminder of what had happened after their honeymoon.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

It was in mid September, just three days before Jay's birthday on the 17th, when Erin wanted to pick up Emmy in the morning to make her ready for the day and was greeted by her 7-and-a-half-month-old daughter standing on her own two feet on the mattress of her crib, her hands firmed around the bars. She smiled brightly, obviously being pretty proud of herself and Erin had to swallow hard to keep her emotions down as her daughter suddenly looked so much more like a toddler and not a baby anymore. Emmy's been on the move a lot lately, crawling everywhere she could, was able to sit by herself and change her positions but so far she's never tried to pull herself up somewhere, the possibility of standing on her feet with her parents's help always being enough for her. Not anymore as it seemed now.

″Jay,″ she called once she was able to speak again. He needed to witness this new milestone as well so he could get as emotional as she already was by the fact how fast their baby was growing up. Holding her bottle all by herself, only getting formula two times a day, babbling things like mamamamama and dadadadada, sitting, crawling and now standing – where had the time gone since the 1st of February when she'd just been a little over six pounds?

″Huh?″ he called back from the bedroom where he was changing into his clothes for work.

″Emmy needs to show you something. Be quick!″ she called, running her hand through her messy hair. Opposite to Jay she didn't have to go to work today – Thursday was still her day off - so she was still wearing her pajama shorts and a top, her hair, that had been a bun before she went to bed last night, quite the mess, loose strands falling into her face.

″What's up?″ he asked, stepping out of the bedroom shirtless, closing the zipper and button of his jeans while crossing the hallway to the nursery.

″Look,″ she said, motioning her head to Emmy who was still standing there like it was the most normal thing in the world for a 7-month-old. Of course it wasn't unusual for babies that age to pull themselves up and stand on their feet, some were simply earlier with that just as some were making the first attempts to walk quite late. But it confirmed her suspicion that chances were high that Emmy would be one of those early walkers and she honestly didn't know how to feel about that as she was both, proud and sad.

″Uhm...wow,″ he exclaimed stunned once his eyes fell on his little princess. ″Emmy, what are you doing there?″

Erin wrapped his arms around Jay's bare torso from behind and nestled her head against his muscular back. ″Should we tell her that she's not allowed to do that yet?″ she murmured against his skin, inhaling his scent.

″I don't think she'll listen to us,″ he chuckled. Although only being a little over 7 months old, Emmy had a strong mind of her own, always knowing what she wanted and going for it and maybe this was the reason why she was already standing on her own feet now. ″Because you know, she's so much like this other woman I love more than life itself.″ He turned around and wrapped her arms around her, a boyish smile covering his face.

″Trying to tell me I don't listen to you, Halstead?″ she chuckled.

″If that's the way you interpreted it, Halstead,″ he smirked, raising his eyebrow cockily and pressing a kiss on her lips before spinning around to dedicate his attention to Emmy again. ″And you, little Ms Halstead, what are you up to this morning already, huh?″ he asked her as he crossed the room to pick her up into his arms.

″Who's my favorite cheeky girl? Is that you, Emmy?″ he grinned, tickled her stomach and then lifted her up over his head. ″Are you daddy's favorite little girl? Yes you are,″ he laughed, brought her back down and kissed her cheek, Erin laughing heartily as well because Jay's facial expressions while talking with his daughter like this had been hilarious and absolutely adorable.

″Unfortunately daddy has to make himself ready work now or he'll get into trouble with grandpa Hank for showing up late,″ he whispered against her ear. ″But you can totally show me your new trick again tonight, deal?″ he asked her and handed her over to Erin.

″In case we don't have to bust some gangbangers tonight,″ he sadly smiled at his wife. He loved his job and the adrenaline that rushed through his body whenever they needed their vests and were out on a bust, whenever he was allowed to use the long gun but at the same time this exciting job was the reason why the time with his family was mostly limited to mornings and weekends and why he couldn't bring his daughter to bed every evening like dad's with an office job and regular hours could. Though he wouldn't complain; not many people were allowed to do what they loved while at the same time trying to bring justice to a city full of crimes, drugs and corruption. And although their paychecks weren't stellar, their jobs allowed them to live in an area like Beverly and own a house lots of people could only dream of.

Erin grimaced by the thought of spending the evening alone – thursdays have been way more boring since Cruz had ended the zumba class a couple weeks back but they were already talking him into starting a new one now that fall was approaching and things were looking good that Cruz gave in – but she couldn't change it anway. This was their life and as from tomorrow, she would work full fridays, including possible busts in the evenings and nightshifts, while Jay would leave around 3 or 4pm to be with Emmy, so their roles would possibly be reversed soon, at least for that one day a week.

″Let's think positive and pretend you can check out on time, what do you want to have for dinner tonight?″ she asked.

″Uhm, anything,″ he chuckled.

″You okay with chicken enchiladas, rice and salad? It's a new recipe I found on the internet the other day,″ she shrugged like it was not a big deal that she, Erin Halstead, was searching the internet for new recipes every once in a while. And maybe by now it really wasn't a big deal anymore.

A bright, proud smile spread over Jay's face by her suggestion. Sometimes he couldn't believe that this woman, who's been trying new delicious recipes fairly often in the last couple of months, was the same that had a year ago had trouble with heating up canned ravioli.

″Sounds perfect,″ he smirked and kissed her once more before retreating into the bedroom to slip into one of his henleys.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Say byebye daddy,″ Erin said, standing on the porch with Emmy on her hip when they watched Jay taking the driver's seat in the 300. ″Byebye,″ she said once more and took Emmy's hand to wave at him.

″Byebye,″ Jay waved back and threw them another trademark smile just before he sat down, closed the door and put the car into reverse to pull out on the street.

″There he goes,″ Erin sighed and pressed a kiss against Emmy's head.

She went back inside and started her morning routine by feeding Crispin and preparing Emmy's formula, giving her daughter the bottle while she was eating her fruit oatmeal at the same time, which was then followed by changing Emmy's diaper and dressing her in one of her colorful leggins and a matching plain shirt. Once Emmy was ready for further adventures, she brought her back downstairs and put her in the play pen so she could make herself ready as well, trying to arrange her messy hair and slipping into a pair of yoga pants and a shirt.

After putting Emmy in the stroller, she went for a light jog through the neighborhood and one of the parks with her and Crispin and decided to postpone grocery shopping to later when it started to rain just when they rounded the corner to their street. So instead of putting Emilia in the car seat and driving to the next superstore after her morning nap and her own very needed shower, she settled with her baby girl in the nursery, building towers with bricks, Emmy finding special sensation whenever Erin crashed the tower and the wooden bricks spread all over the floor only to build it again.

″You really like that, huh?″ Erin giggled when collected the bricks to build the 16th tower in an hour. Lately, Emmy's been loving doing the same tasks over and over again and Erin had read in one of the baby books, that this was a baby's way of learning, of remembering things so they could somewhen do it theirselves. And even though it was kind of boring for her to do the same thing over and over again, she would keep on building the same tower for hours as long as Emilia found excitement in it and giggled and babbled the way she was right now.

″Okay, again?″ she asked and gave her one of the bricks. ″Here you go, tower number 16,″ she laughed and started to build a new one, Emmy looking at the building that was getting higher in front of her completely fascinated.

Erin's day, that could easily be described as the one of a usual housewife – though she would still punch anyone who ever called her that – continued with building more towers until it was time for her to make Emmy's pulp and so she took her downstairs to the living room to keep an eye on her, and soon toys were spread all over the floor here as well. After Emmy was all fed and happy and with the rain having stopped an hour ago, she went for a really quick walk just around the block with her and Crispin, hoping that the fresh air, that definitely showed some first hints that fall was around the corner, would lull her to sleep. However, Emilia was still wide awake after those 15 minutes and so she settled her on her mat in the living room again while she emptied the dishwasher so she could just fill it again tonight after cooking dinner. It became suspiciously quiet in the room and once this unloved task was done and she looked for her daughter in the living room, she found her sleeping on her mat, all cuddled up to Crispin who was sleeping as well.

This dog and this kid, she thought smilingly and shook her head slightly, reaching for her phone on the dining table to take a picture and send it to Jay.

She let the two of them sleep there and started to clean up the mess in the living room by putting all of the toys back in the play pen, knowing that she could completely avoid this mess by putting Emmy in there to play. But it reminded her of a jail too much with those bars and she wanted Emmy to be able to move wherever she wanted to and so she only used it when she couldn't keep an eye on her as it was the safest place then.

When Emilia was taking her nap, it was almost the only time of the day that she could do something productive as her baby girl didn't crave for the attention she loved to give her. As she urgently needed to do their laundry, this task, that was also high on her personal list of unloved things, was her activity for the following hour, sorting the dirty stuff and putting it into the machine, folding the clothes she'd put into the machine and the dryer throughout the morning and putting them into their dressers upstairs.

If someone had asked Erin a year ago how she envisioned a day at home, a day away from the bullpen and all the action that went down on the streets of Chicago, she would've answered it with deadly boring and agonizing. But ever since being a mother, not a single day at home has been boring. It was more the opposite in fact. Other than the times she sat down on the floor to play with her daughter, she didn't have a moment to rest or stare at walls, like she'd scared back then. There was always something to do and she was always on the run, this day proving no difference. She still had to go grocery shopping for dinner tonight and for the birthday-BBQ and housewarming party on Sunday and as soon as Emmy woke up from her nap, the superstore was her next destination.

Returning home after what felt like endless hours of walking through aisles with groceries, overloading her cart with everything they needed, then carrying those dozens of bags inside the house, storing everything away and afterwards spending a couple of minutes outside in the backyard so Emmy could get her daily dose of seesawing, meant that it was already time to prepare dinner without that she'd done all of the things she'd wanted to do. Maybe Jay would have a spare minute tomorrow afternoon to clean the bathroom and vacuum the other rooms. And if not, their Saturday would be used to play housewife and househusband at its finest.

It was while the enchiladas were in the oven that her phone buzzed on the counter of the kitchen island and she sensed to know who was writing her a message and why. Reaching for her phone and unlocking it, her apprehension got confirmed. Unfortunately.

Suspect just gave us an adress. Might get late. Don't eat all the enchiladas alone. Love you.

″Well Emmy, there goes our family dinner,″ she sighed and plopped down on the floor next to her daughter, settling her in her lap and giving her one of the chunky rings of her Stacking Toy.

″Seems like it's just you and me and Crisp tonight, so what do we make of that, huh?″ she asked and kissed the top of Emmy's head. Another of those evenings without Jay, of possibly not even seeing him before the morning, wasn't something she exactly looked forward to.

A little later, she had a quite early dinner in company of her daughter and Crispin, who always hoped that she would give him something although he knew he wouldn't get anything as they never fed him from the table. She was pretty proud of herself because those enchiladas were definitely high on the list of the best things she's cooked so far, and once her stomach was too full for her own good, she went for the third stroll that day with her two-legged and four-legged kid.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Who's the cutest naked little monkey?″ Erin baby-talked, leaning over her daughter and blowing kisses onto her bare belly after she'd just finished bathing her.

″Is that you, bug?″ she grinned, Emmy's hearty laughter being pure heart-balm when she blew more kisses on her stomach, her soft skin smelling of baby lotion.

″Are you the cutest naked little monkey?″ she asked again, reaching for the diaper and putting it on. She'd just closed the last strap when the doorbell was ringing.

″Who could that be?″ Erin frowned, looking from her daughter down to Crispin. Ever since Bunny'd almost kidnapped Emmy after pushing her back that she'd crashed against the sideboard, she was very apprehensive whenever the bell was ringing and they didn't expect guests, a package or the delivery guy. But Crispin seemed to be completely fine with the situation, no barking and his face as innocent and happy as always. So it didn't seem like that another catastrophe was waiting for her in front of the door.

″Okay guys, let's check that door,″ she said, wrapped the towel with the hood around Emmy and picked her little dwarf up into her arms.

The bell rang again while she was on the way downstairs and she yelled ″coming!″ seconds before she reached the door to open it, being completely surprised when she found her brother-in-law standing on the porch, looking like a drowned rat because it was pouring down again.

″Will,″ she smiled but that smile dropped when she saw the look on the older of the Halstead brothers's face. Sad, devastated, his eyes giving away that he'd possibly cried not long ago. In addition there was a duffel bag hanging over his shoulder, so it didn't even take her five seconds to figure out what was going on without him saying anything.

″Uhm...hi Erin,″ he stammered, looking down to his feet and avoiding her gaze. ″Is Jay home?″

″No, he's working late,″ she answered. ″You wanna come in?″

″Uhm...maybe...no,″ he shook his head. ″Sorry, this was a bad idea.″

″Will,″ Erin said, grabbing his arm before he could turn around and leave. ″You should know by now that I don't bite. So come in already,″ she smiled encouragingly, her hand still firmed around his arm.

″If I...if I come in now...I don't know whether I'll leave again that soon,″ he said quietly, for the first time looking directly into her eyes and the look he gave her almost broke Erin's heart. Whatever has exactly happened, it's shattered him, leaving a broken man behind.

″Doesn't matter, we have a guest room,″ she shrugged, giving him a meaningful glance that should signalise him that she knew what was going on and that there was no need for him to explain.

″You sure?″

″Yeah, we don't have that guest room for nothing. Come in now,″ she smiled faintly and finally the ginger accepted her offer and walked past her through the open door.

″Thank you, Erin,″ he said, trying to smile at her and looking around in the hall like he's never been here before.

″Of course, Will,″ she nodded. ″I'll just go upstairs, dress this monkey in her pajamas and tuck her in. I don't know how long it'll take today but you know where the guest room is, so make yourself comfortable. You can use the shower, there are towels in the cabinet and in case you're hungry, there are enchiladas in the oven but I guess you would have to heat them up in the microwave.″

″Thank you,″ he said again and at least smiling worked a little better now.

Followed by Crispin, Erin went back upstairs, dressed Emmy in her pajamas and settled with her in the rocking chair to read her a story until her eyes got heavy and then rocked back and forth with her until her eyelids with those long lashes fell close. She put her in her crib, covered her with her favorite blanket and made sure that her two important stuffies were with her as well.

″Sweet dreams, bug,″ Erin whispered, her hand stroking over Emmy's cheek one last time before she would leave the room. ″Seems like you'll have to help us to cheer your uncle Will up in the next couple of days,″ she sighed, her mind contemplating whether she should Will ask about what's happened or whether she should wait for him to tell her. If he was anything like his little brother, it was better not to push him though.

With that in mind, she went back down to the living room and found her freshly showered brother-in-law standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, staring outside in the backyard.

″You tried those enchiladas?″ she asked, Will startling by the sudden sound of her voice behind him.

″Uhm...no,″ he denied and turned around to her, his facial expression so different than she used to know it. ″I'm not hungry.″

″Hey, you can tell me when you don't want to eat my food,″ she joked, giving him a soft punch and even got the tiniest of smiles from him.

″It's not that. I'm sure it's delicious. I just don't feel like eating,″ he said almost apologetically.

″Okay,″ she nodded, scanning him sternly. ″But just so you know, the fridge is open all night and you can take whatever you want. Especially ice cream can help a lot,″ she winked, trying to lighten the mood when she had actually no idea how to behave around him.

″Good to know,″ he half-smiled. ″Would you mind if I go to my room?″

″Will, you don't have to sit down and watch TV with me,″ she smiled. ″You can watch TV in your room, you can watch TV in Jay's man cave upstairs, you can do whatever you want.″

″Okay...thank you,″ he answered like he's really needed her permission for this, made an awkward gesture with his hands and disappeared towards the guest room that was on this floor.

Erin made herself comfortable on the couch, arranged Crispin's blanket so the dog could lie down next to her without that his hair would be all over their new couch. They've come a long way from Crispin not being allowed to join them on the couch but with Jay working late every so often, Crispin was the only decent replacement for cuddles while watching TV until he would at some point get up himself and simply go upstairs into Emmy's room to sleep there. And the young dog knew exactly that he was only allowed to lie down on this exact blanket and only when Erin gave him the permission to do so.

″So Crisp, what do you wanna watch?″ she asked, settling in one of the corners of the couch with two fluffy pillows, Crispin jumping onto his blanket and lying down on his side, his head resting on Erin's thigh.

″Rerun of America's Got Talent?″ she asked the dog as if he could say yes or no, zapping through the channels. ″Or Ninja Warrior?″ she added, staying with that channel for a second and then deciding to keep watching it at least until the next commercial break.

″Looks like fun, doesn't it?″ she smirked when one of the contenders failed and fell into the water, her fingers absently tickling Crispin's favorite spot behind his ears.

She didn't know how often she's swapped channels, not being able to decide on anything as nothing interested her that much, always waiting for Jay's key to turn in the lock, when Will shuffled back into the room.

″This ice cream thing,″ he said and sounded almost shy. ″It works?″

″Yeah, ice cream works wonders,″ Erin grinned. ″Want me to get you some?″

″Naah, I can do it myself,″ Will answered and shuffled towards the kitchen. She heard him arranging a few items in the freezer before he eventually found it and much to her surprise, he didn't disappear in his room with the Ben & Jerry's but sat down on the couch next to her and Crispin. She watched him for a minute but when he didn't say anything, she decided to keep her mouth closed as well, waiting for him to be ready to talk.

″You were right,″ Will somewhen said in between swallowing down and already putting the next spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

″That's my favorite thing to hear,″ Erin chuckled, turning the volume of the TV down.

″Huh,″ Will smirked and for the first time this evening it seemed like a real smile. ″Can I eat all of it?″

″Uhm, you're the doctor, I don't know how healthy that is,″ she laughed. ″But when you eat it, I won't, so that's good I guess.″

″We could share,″ he suggested.

″Will, just eat, okay?″ Erin winked and Will nodded in response as they fell back into silence. Erin turned the volume of the TV back up and for a while they both concentrated on whatever was flickering on the screen before it was Crispin jumping up and simply leaving the room towards the hall that brought the conversation back.

″What's he doing?″ Will frowned, his eyes following the dog. If at all, he'd expected him to go outside in the backyard through the open French window.

″He's tired, so he goes upstairs to sleep in his bed in Emmy's room,″ Erin explained.

″He could sleep here, with you tickling his ears and stroking his belly. That's what any dog would do.″

″I know. But Crispin is not any dog,″ she smirked. ″And he would only sleep with Emmy being around because he's been protecting her from the moment Jay brought him home. He's amazing with her.″

″Yeah, I remember at dad's birthday, how great he was with Ow..-″ he started, interrupting himself mid-sentence. Erin looked at him and their gazes met for a brief second before Will turned his head away somehow ashamed. Maybe it was because of the tears Erin had discovered in his eyes. Maybe he didn't want her to see him this vulnerable and hurt.

She turned her attention back to the TV quickly, expecting the ginger Halstead to leave and go into his room for some privacy but he stayed, an awkward silence surrounding them no matter that the TV was running.

″He called me daddy,″ he suddenly, unexpectedly blurted out.

″Ouh,″ Erin exhaled, putting two and two together in a heartbeat. Usually something like this would be a happy moment but not with the way Natalie Manning had lost her husband, her son's father, war taking away the man that was supposed to spend the rest of his life with her.

″She freaked out. She completely freaked out,″ Will said, staring at the TV with empty eyes but not paying any attention to the things that actually flickered on the screen.

″I'm pretty sure this whirled up a lot of feelings and emotions inside of her...″ Erin said, trying to imagine how Natalie must've felt.

″I know. And I understand that, Erin, I really do. But I suddenly have the feeling that she's clearly not over him and I honestly don't know whether I want to compete with a dead man for the rest of my life because this is a fight I can't win,″ he answered quietly.

″So you left?″ Erin raised her eyebrows, her voice a bit too incredulous given the fact that her brother-in-law was kinda pouring out his heart to her.

″No,″ he denied and shook his head. ″I wanted to stay, talk with her about it. But she said she needs space and basically asked me to go, so I decided to back down and left. Now she surely shows him pictures of his dad all night, trying to get him to realize who his real dad is,″ he added bitterly. ″And no matter how hard it's to accept, that's not me. I'm not his dad. I never was and I'll never be. Not the same blood running in our veins, end of the story,″ he shrugged like he didn't care when Erin knew how much he actually did.

″Family is not about blood, Will. Sharing the same DNA doesn't make you a father just like not sharing the same DNA prevails you from being a father. Hank is not my biological father either but he's my father in every way that counts.″

He seemed to contemplate her words for a minute, nodding slightly. ″Yeah, but in our case Natalie doesn't even want me to be his father, Erin,″ he laughed sardonically. ″What am I going to be for him? The guy that fucks his mother?″

Erin sucked in a sharp breath by his choice of words that left his mouth seldomly harsh. ″No Will, you're the only father-figure he has at this point and I'm sure deep down inside Natalie knew that this would happen eventually. Give her some time to deal with that. It's not an easy situation and I don't think you can ever fully move on from something she went through.″

″I know that Jeff will always be a part of Natalie's life. He's Owen's dad and Owen will grow up learning his dad was a hero,″ he said, gnawing on his lips like his brother always did when he wanted to say more but was undecided. ″I guess...I guess I'm just scared that I'll play a different role in all of that than I thought,″ he admitted quietly and suddenly he seemed so vulnerable again.

″You really wanted to be his dad, huh?″ Erin asked.

″You know, I was happy when he called me daddy. I never thought that I need to hear that but damn, it felt amazing,″ he admitted, his face lighting up for a moment. ″And now it seems like everything fell apart and I don't know whether this is something we can fix.″

″Of course you can,″ Erin assured him. ″Every relationship eventually goes through a rough patch. For me and Jay it was when he asked me to move in together out of nowhere, when I wasn't ready for this step. This was before we even knew about Emmy's existence. My sudden reaction out of fear and whatever else was mixed into it almost destroyed everything we had as I pushed him away. And regardless that the issue is different, I'd say Natalie reacted pretty similar,″ she explained, touching his upper arm. ″Give her time. This is something that has to settle, something she has to come to terms with but in the end of the day these overstrained feelings will fade and she'll realize that she overreacted and that you're the man she wants to be with.″

″I hope you're right,″ Will said pensively. It sounded more like a desperate wish than something he was convinced of. ″My life has never been as perfect as in these last couple of months with Natalie and Owen.″

″I know,″ Erin nodded. ″And I know what she did hurt you. Immensely. And you have every reason to be disappointed. But when she wants to talk, don't get butthurt and push her away just because she pushed you away. Be there for her and work through this together. We're all only human and we all make mistakes.″

Will gazed at her for a moment, letting her words sink in. ″Talking from experience?″ he winked.

″Maybe,″ she grinned. ″Just because Jay's and my relationship might look easy and perfect from the outside doesn't mean we haven't been at points like this either, especially in the beginning. But we have something that's always been worth fighting for and I know you and Nat have that, too.″

″You know, Erin, until today I thought we had that, too,″ he smiled sadly. ″Anyway, I think I'll try to sleep, I'm on the early shift tomorrow,″ he ended the conversation quickly and got up. ″Goodnight Erin.″

″Goodnight Will,″ she said and watched him walk away only for him to disappear in her vision again literally a second later.

″Uhm...thanks for the talk. It felt good to talk about it and to hear your advice,″ he smiled faintly.

″Anytime,″ she winked and this time her brother-in-law retreated to his room for real.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

It was around 10.30pm when Jay finally came home after another endless day full of work, Erin still zapping between different channels in an attempt not to fall asleep on the couch.

″Hey babe,″ she greeted him when she walked into the hall where he was taking off his boots to put them in the shoe cabinet neatly.

″Hey wifey,″ he smirked and pressed a kiss against her lips. ″How was your day?″

″The usual madness,″ she laughed. ″And yours?″

″This city has too many idiots,″ he sighed and rubbed his temples.

″You're pretty beat, huh?″ she asked worriedly, bringing her hand up to his neck to massage it gently.

″Literally chased one of those idiots through half of the city...on foot,″ he smirked tiredly. ″I'm as beat that I already had hallucinations and saw Will's car parked in front of the house,″ he chuckled.

″Uhm, this wasn't necessarily a hallucination I guess,″ Erin answered, biting her lower lip with her teeth.

″Wait,″ Jay frowned. ″Will's here? Why? Did Natalie kick him out?″ he joked but he only needed to see the look on Erin's face to realize that this joke has fallen flat and that there was truth to his words. ″They broke up?!″ he exclaimed in disbelief.

″No...it's complicated. I think he'll crash with us for a bit and make our house fuller but in the end they'll work it out,″ she explained, hoping for Will's sake that they could really work through this, leave it behind and continue to live their life together. ″There are some of those enchiladas left, so how about I tell you the whole story while you fill this growling stomach of yours so it doesn't wake up any sleeping individual in this house?″ she asked him, smirking innocently, her hands resting on his waist, her thumbs stroking up and down over the fabric of his henley.

″I'd kill for some food right now,″ he chuckled.

″Then come on my hungry man,″ she grinned, her hand traveling to his back so she could guide him towards the kitchen.

While he was eating – telling her on more than one occasion how delicious those enchiladas were – she told him about her conversation with Will earlier, about the things he'd told her and the things she'd told him. Jay was somehow glad that Erin had been the one who was home when Will had shown up in front of their door because he was sure that the words she'd chosen had a better effect on him than any words Jay would've told him. This was one of the things Erin was so brilliant at; giving other people the feeling that she understood them without taking a side, being rational yet sympathetic and caring and encouraging them not to give up.

″I think I'll check in on Nat tomorrow evening after work,″ she concluded her story.

″Babe, I know you mean well but you don't have to play peacemaker. They have to work through this on their own,″ he said, pushing his empty plate away and covering her hand with his.

″I don't want to play peacemaker. This is their battle, not mine. I just think Natalie could need a friend to talk. Sometimes it's easier to talk about it with someone else and that makes you realize what you really want. So I'll be there as her friend, as her shoulder to cry on, as her punching bag, as listener, as someone who tries to give advice in case she asks for it.″

″You are one amazing woman, Erin Halstead,″ Jay smiled, his heart-eyes emphasizing his statement. Every day his love for this woman was growing and he had no idea how endless love could even grow more endless. ″Amazing wife, amazing friend, amazing mom, amazing cook,″ he winked, looked at the empty plate where not even a hint of sauce was left, before leaning in to kiss her.

″Most times,″ she chuckled, her words swallowed by his kiss.

″I just wondered,″ he murmured against her lips. ″Whether I could have a dessert as well...″

″I'm afraid your brother ate the whole ice cream,″ she chuckled, kissing him apologetically.

″Didn't mean ice cream anyway,″ he answered huskily, a cocky, playful eyebrow-raise making it clear what kind of dessert he was aiming for. ″You know, I still have to take a shower, so I more thought of having dessert in th-″

She captured his lips with hers before he could finish his sentence, their lips melting in a hot, passionate kiss. ″Get that shower running already,″ she murmured into his mouth.

She didn't have to say that twice.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

It took Erin a minute to figure out that her brother-in-law didn't have the househusband qualities his younger brother had when she came into the kitchen on the following morning to prepare Emmy's formula. While Jay would've put his used bowl into the dishwasher, Will had only put it in the sink, the few pieces of granola that were glued to it not even rinsed off. In addition, the box of granola was still standing on the counter and she knew how Jay would tease her now if it had been her who'd left something on the counter: do you think there's magic and it'll find its way back inside the cabinet all by itself? She chuckled slightly by this thought as she could vividly imagine this conversation; it's happened quite a lot after all.

″Look, mommy is in a good mood this morning,″ she heard Jay saying and found him standing in the doorway, carrying their fully dressed daughter on his hip.

″Your brother is so much more like me than he is like you,″ she laughed and waved with the cereal box before she put it into the cabinet.

″Neatness is something not everybody is gifted with,″ he smirked innocently, expecting a punch from her in return.

″It's a good thing that extremes meet, huh?″ she chuckled and closed the gap between them, not going for that punch he deserved right now. ″Hey baby girl,″ she sang and kissed her cheek, ″did you greet daddy standing on your feet this morning, too?″

″She did,″ Jay nodded proudly. ″And she said dadadadada when I walked in.″

″She didn't,″ Erin said, narrowing his eyes at him.

″I swear,″ he laughed. ″And right after that she said mamamamama.″

″Okay, nice saving, Emmy,″ she laughed as well and handed Jay the bottle of formula she'd prepared so Emmy could have her breakfast while she would go for a quick walk with Crispin, the two of them buying their own breakfast in their favorite coffee shop on the way to the district later.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Leaving the bullpen just after 3pm was something Jay could definitely get used to. As today was Erin's first official full day, it was the first time he was allowed to leave the district early to spend some precious time with Emilia once a week. Together with Hank they'd agreed that he could leave the district between 2 and 4pm that one time a week Erin worked a full day, in case the unit didn't require his skills. In this case both of them would at least work until 6pm and when the unit had a nightshift ahead, one of them could go home then, whether this was Jay or Erin was up to them, unless they needed a sniper.

Today there was no need for a sniper as the whole day had been about the aftermath of last nights bust and other than arresting some more perps this morning, they'd dealt with paperwork for the rest of the day and so Jay checked out unusual early, generously leaving the rest of his paperwork to Erin. Given the fact that he was finally allowed to spend a couple of hours with Emmy on a weekday, she even did it with joy because her husband totally deserved this rare time with his princess.

″So bug, what are we doing now? Anything special you want to do?″ he asked his daughter, scooping her from the car seat into his arms. When he'd picked her up from Carol 20 minutes ago, she'd just finished her nap, so she was basically a bundle of energy now, up to any adventure he would offer.

″How about we go for a quick walk with Crisp, stop by the park so he can chase some balls and power himself out and you can maybe try the slide? Does that sound like a plan?″

″Dadadada,″ she babbled excitedly and reached for his face.

″I take this as a yes,″ Jay laughed and after putting the stroller out of the trunk and settling Emmy in it and also letting Crisp, who'd stayed with Carol as well, out of the trunk, they were already on the go to explore the neighborhood.

They reached the small but beautiful park with the playground in no time and while Jay knelt on the grass, Emmy standing on her feet in just her socks, Jay holding her safely to give her the support she still needed, Crispin chased after the balls he threw and always brought them back dutifully. Emilia found special excitement in watching Crispin run after the ball and see him running back towards them and she laughed as hard that her whole body was shaking and she almost lost the little bit of balance that she had.

″Easy, princess,″ Jay laughed and pressed a kiss on her head from behind. ″Don't be jaunty. That standing thing is not that easy.″

They kept on playing this game until Crispin came running back and simply lay down next to them instead of giving Jay the ball for a countless time, signalising that he was done for now. So they changed the location and went to the smaller of the two slides, Jay lifting Emmy onto it and letting her slide down while he was of course still holding her, making sure that she was safe. And no matter that it wasn't too fast, she seemed to have a blast, this new experience making her giggle and babble loudly and excitedly.

″Sliding's high on the list of big hits, huh?″ Jay asked and swirled her through the air. ″Daddy always liked it as well. Once you're older we'll try all the bigger slides in the waterpark, what do you think? Good idea?″ He brought her back down so they were face-to-face and kissed her forehead shortly.

″I love you so much, baby girl,″ he whispered, inhaling her unique scent, this mixture of peach and vanilla and raspberry and something that was just simply Emmy, before their sliding adventure continued for a little while longer.

As Erin would go to Natalie's place right after work and as they had enough enchiladas left from the previous day anyway, there was no need for him to cook tonight, which he was quite happy about because it meant he could play with Emmy a little more before it was time for her to sleep. He expected Will to be home since he'd been on early shift but neither his car nor Will himself were anywhere to be seen. While he was sitting on the floor in the nursery, basically all of Emmy's toys spread around them, he sent his brother a quick text, getting an answer he'd somehow expected and wasn't surprising at all. Pulling a double shift, won't be back before mignight. Of course Will distracted himself with work. The more time he spent in the hospital, saving other people's lives, the less time he had to spend in his room in their house, staring at walls and thinking about Natalie and witnessing all those happy family vibes. Jay had to admit that he would probably do the same. No matter how different they were in general, there were some situations where they reacted similarly and overloading themselves with work was a their way of dealing with problems.

″Dadada,″ Emilia babbled, holding up her teething toy, a giraffe, her voice interrupting his thoughts.

″I'm sorry, bug,″ he smirked at his little attention seeker, taking the giraffe from her hand. ″Now you've got my full attention again,″ he said and tickled her belly with his fingers.

Time passed quickly and after feeding her and changing her for the night, he read her a story from the fairytale book in the living room before she eventually fell asleep in his lap. He picked her up and placed her on his chest and stomach for more cuddles, his hand stroking up and down her back soothingly, his lips finding her head for soft kisses on her hair. His comfortable position in the corner off the couch combined with Emilia's steady breathing and her warm little body on his own let his own tiredness break through and instead of fighting against it, he allowed himself to drift into slumber as well.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Erin...what are you doing here?″ Natalie asked when she opened the door of her apartment, Erin standing in front of it with a bottle of wine and chocolate ice cream.

″I thought you could need someone to talk, some company...,″ Erin shrugged, giving her a faint smile.

″Did Will send you?″ she frowned.

″Nope, he has no idea that I'm here,″ Erin answered. ″This is just me offering my company because I've learned my lesson that in some situations it's better to lean on someone than dealing with everything on your own.″

Natalie looked at her for a second, a little smile tugging in the corners of her lips when her eyes fell to the things Erin was holding in her hands. ″Wine and chocolate ice cream?″

″With extra big chocolate chips. The ultimate combination,″ she winked.

″I guess I can't miss out on that,″ Natalie grinned but it wasn't the way the dark-haired woman usually smiled. ″Come in.″

Erin followed her inside and settled on the couch in the living room while Natalie looked for two glasses and spoons in the kitchen.

″Where's Owen?″ Erin asked when Natalie joined her, placing everything on the coffee table in front of them. It was only around seven and she'd expected the toddler to still be awake.

″He's sleeping already. We spent the whole day outside at the park and he was running around a lot so he was pretty beat after his bath and I tucked him in early. I guess I will regret that in the morning when he's up around 5,″ she laughed slightly, reaching for the bottle to open it and pouring the red liquid into the glasses.

″Oh, I bet he loved it that you had the day off,″ Erin grinned, taking one of the glasses and clinking it with Natalie's.

″I didn't exactly have the day off...″ Natalie said, sipping on her wine.

″You called in sick...,″ she noticed, Natalie's cheeks blushing a little.

″I swear it was the first time in my career that I did that,″ Natalie chuckled innocently.

″Hey, you don't have to justify that. We all did it at some point,″ Erin laughed.

″It was probably for the best,″ Natalie said pensively and as they fell into a moment of silence, Erin reached for the ice cream and the spoon, handing one of them to Nat so they could both dig in at the same time.

″Nothing better than chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips,″ Natalie said after the first spoon had found its way into her mouth.

″It's the best,″ Erin mumbled, her own mouth full with ice cream as well.

″By far,″ Natalie grinned. ″How's the married life though?″

″You know, other than this ring on my finger and my new last name regarding everything that has to do with our private life, it's not that different,″ Erin smirked. ″Is it supposed to be different?″

″No,″ Natalie laughed. ″Why should it? It's still the same life you live. The same routines, nothing really changed other than your name, the ring and that you can officially call him husband now. At least that's how Jeff and I saw it as well. In the end of the day it's a piece of paper that makes you husband and wife.″

″Well, I like to think that it's a little more romantic than that but yeah, you might be right, it comes down to a technicality,″ she laughed.

″Technicalities,″ Natalie sighed and from one moment to the other, she became all pensive and absent again. ″Is Will crashing with you guys?″ she asked quietly.

″Yeah,″ she confirmed. ″First one to use our guestroom.″

"So you have a full house now?" She tried to make it sound light but she failed.

"It's a big house, we still have space," Erin answered.

″How's he doing?″

″How do you think he's doing, Natalie?″ she asked back, her voice soft. ″His world crashed down in front of him and he couldn't do anything about it.″

″He told you,″ Natalie noticed, her voice just above a whisper, tears sparkling in her eyes.

″Uh-huh,″ Erin nodded.

Natalie wiped her tears away with her hand and inhaled a deep breath. ″I've been telling Owen about his daddy every evening since the day he was born because I want Jeff to be a part of Owen's life somehow. I showed him pictures, told him stories, gave him some of Jeff's childhood toys, did everything that he grows up with his father being present as much as possible. And then Owen called Will daddy and something inside of me saw red,″ she told Erin and shook her head slightly. ″This moment I felt like I rob Jeff of his son. All I could suddenly see was Owen forgetting about his father and that's not fair to Jeff, to be forgotten by his own son. Replaced by another man. Like he never existed,″ she whispered towards the end, tears falling down her cheeks again.

″Oh Natalie,″ Erin said, pulling the brunette into an embrace. ″Don't you think Jeff would've wanted you to move on and to find a man who loves Owen like his own? A man that Owen loves and is a father-figure for him, who takes him to soccer games and helps him to land his first date and who is just simply there when he needs advice? Jeff will always be Owen's father and Owen will grow up knowing that, learn that once he's older and able to understand it. But right now, you're living with a man, who's there for Owen just as much as you are, so it's only natural that he's the closest thing Owen has to a dad,″ she said softly and Natalie pulled off to look at her. ″Back in June you told me you wanted you guys to be more of a family and I guess that is what you are now. Son, mother, father.″

″I know,″ Natalie said quietly. ″And ever since we moved in together in July it's been perfect. I just...maybe...I just pushed away the possibility that this could happen and thought we could make it work like this, as mom and Will.″

″The way I see it, Will gets up in the middle of the night when Owen's unsettled, right?″ Erin asked and Natalie nodded in response. ″He changes his diapers, plays with him, reads him stories, takes him to the playground, is fully involved?″ Once again Natalie nodded.

″Okay,″ Erin exhaled, asking quietly: ″Don't you think he deserves the title daddy then?″

Natalie bit on her lips, trying to hold back the tears from falling as the realization kicked in. ″I'm such a horrible person.″

″No, you're not,″ Erin smiled faintly. ″You overreacted. That happens. You're only human.″

Again Natalie looked at her with tear-stained eyes. ″He's amazing with Owen,″ she sobbed. ″And I pushed him away in the most horrible way like I don't cherish everything he does for us. What if I ruined it all?″ she asked quietly.

″This guy loves you. I can't deny that he's not hurt because he is and you know that. He's hurt because as of right now he plays a different role in yours and Owen's life than he thought. Than he wanted. And whenever you're ready to talk with him, I'm sure he'll listen but you have to keep that in mind.″

Natalie nodded and exhaled a deep breath. ″I will. I will fix that.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Coming home and finding Jay and Emmy sleeping on the couch, both of their mouths slightly agape, Erin's heart almost exploded in her chest because this was still as adorable as it had been when Emmy was a newborn. She watched them for a minute and thought about Will's and Natalie's situation once more, hoping and wishing that her brother-in-law could soon experience those family vibes with his own little family again because it was simply everything and when you once had it, it was impossible to live without it ever again...

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review and let me know what you think. I'll try my best to upload once a week now :)