1. Days Like This

So this story was created out of my current desperation about the lack of any Linstead scenes. Seriously, I'm usually a really patient person and for WEEKS I kept telling myself ″It's a cop show, they can't do Linstead every week.″ But what we got since the Molly's episode is nothing but a joke. I mean, what is the reason to bring them together (which was kinda rushed in my opinion) and then give the viewers NADA for weeks/months? And with Derek's little announcement on Saturday, my patience went completely west. I totally understand that sometimes things don't go as planned but what is the reason to hype something up for FOUR months, releasing interviews and articles and answer questions about it every week, seeing the fans getting more and more excited about it with every week passing and then dropping the bomb like ″we're sorry, it doesn't work.″ Really? I don't get it. This is beyond any kind of professionalism...

Well, I'll stop complaining now, things won't change anyway. This story is just simply my way of dealing with it. I guess it will be one for the long run as I have sooooo many ideas.

As you may have already noticed, English is not my native tongue, so I kindly apologize for any mistakes. I try my very best but of course my variety of words is limited and my grammar isn't perfect but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. And I don't any of the songs I might use in the future either.

1. Days Like This

″You should go home,″ Jay said when he walked into the break room of the bullpen. Erin was sitting on the table, had her head covered in her hands.

″I'm fine,″ she answered, coughing hardly. Jay couldn't express how much he hated that answer. She always said she was fine and she would always say she's fine even tough it was obvious that she was not. Not at all.

″C'mon Erin, you're not.″

″What makes you think that?″ she asked and forced a little smile when looking at him.

Because you look absolutely terrible, he wanted to say for a second, but then decided not to be that mean. Instead he searched for some nicer words that basically meant the same.

″Cause you're face color favors a ghost, your eyes are tired as you haven't slept in weeks and you're coughing like you're smoking at least thirty cigarettes a day. But most of all, because you're drinking tea,″ he smirked and looked at the steaming cup in front of her. That was the clear sign that she didn't feel well at all. Normally nothing could seperate her from her beloved coffee, especially not tea.

″Honestly Jay, it's not that bad. And the tea helps and tastes better than expected. Surprisingly.″

″I guess a warm bed and some hours of sleep would help you even more.″ Erin wanted to roll her eyes but when she saw the look in his eyes, she didn't. He was really concerned. Instead, she stood up, took his hand in hers and looked into his great blue eyes that attracted her so much.

″It's sweet that you're worried about me. Really. But I'm fine. At least I don't feel bad enough for laying in my bed all day. Without you,″ she whispered and grinned at him. He looked down into her face, into those beautiful hazel eyes, that were more green today due to the fever she clearly had. He sighed. He had absolutely no chance to get her home into her bed. She was simply not that kind of girl that would stay at home because she was 'a little' sick. He knew that. And hated it. Sometimes he wished to have a little more influence on her and her decisions, especially when it came to these 'I'm-fine'-topics.

Of course Jay knew exactly where this came from. She was never allowed to be weak when she was a child, a teenager. She was never allowed to show weaknesses, to have fears and be afraid of something. She always had to be the strong girl. The fighting one. The one who raised her little brother. The one who was there for her junkie mother. The one with a father in jail. The one that always ran away when life got tough and still had that habit today. And somehow she had built up kind of her own world around herself. A world where she was vulnerable inside but would never show it to anyone else outside. And although everything of this had happened a long time ago, she still hardly let anyone in to her world. He knew that and he accepted it. Step by step she allowed him to be a part of her world and shared some things about her past and her feelings from time to time. They still had a long way to go but for now he was satisfied with everything she told him once in a while. Dealing with her past and trusting someone completely was her biggest struggle and he didn't want to push her into anything. He knew her in and out. Sometimes he had the feeling, that he even knew her better than she knew herself.

″Hey there, Erin to Jay, are you still here?″ Erin interrupted his thoughts and laughed.

″Uhm, yeah, sorry...″ It took him some seconds to find his point again. ″You know, you have that flu or whatever it is for days now, so maybe you should go and see a doctor...″

″Jaaaayy...″ Her voice was quite bugged.

″Just sayin'...″, he said and held his hands up in defence. This discussion was an endless and senseless one.

″Look, isn't it enough that Ruzek and Atwater are already at home, dying?″ she laughed. Atwater has brought in those bad bacteria to the bullpen. He had it from his little sister and she certainly had it from her school. He's been home now for three days, but somehow Ruzek got infected too and has been home since yesterday. Now Erin had it too and Antonio started coughing just this morning, so it was a matter of time when he would be out.

″At least they're doing what's best for them,″ he mumbled.

″And I'm doing what's best for me: working. So everything is perfect.″

″Hey guys, we got a hit on that plate,″ Antonio interrupted them.

″Alright, let's go then,″ Erin smiled at her colleague and grabbed her jacket. She was not unhappy that their conversation had a sudden end. Jay just rolled his eyes as she walked out of the breakroom and followed her.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

They came back about two hours later. Erin felt bad. Worse than she felt all previous days together. And she couldn't deny it anymore. Her head was about to explode, her lungs hurt with every breath she took and coughing just killed her throat. She hated to admit it, but at this stage, she really just wanted to lie in her bed.

She was about to make what assumed a hundreth cup of tea today when Hank entered the break room.

″Go home kid,″ he said.

″Hank...,″ she answered with hardly no voice.

″Erin, I won't discuss about that. Go home and get yourself healthy.″

″Hank really, I can deal with that and you guys need me here.″

″We surely don't need another sick cop that is spreading bacteria around here. So, I'm not begging you. This is an order. And only come back when you feel good again without lying to yourself.″ The way he said it tolerated no disagreement.

″Did Jay talk to you?″ Her face was kinda pissed, but deep inside she felt relieved. She would never go home in her own intention because she didn't want to look weak in front of the team. All of them saw her on one of her worst and lowest points not long ago when she spiraled out of control after Nadias death last year, so there was no way she wanted to look weak in front of them yet again. The same applied for Jay. Although he was her boyfriend she didn't allow herself to look weak in front of him. She just didn't feel comfortable with it. But Hank was her boss after all and when he ordered her to go home, she didn't feel that bad.

″Of course he did. But everyone can see it anyways.″ Even Hank's face was worried at that point.

″Okay...,″ she finally said, ″...when nobody wants me to be here...″ she smirked.

″It's not that we don't want you to be here kid. We just don't want all your bacteria here,″ he smiled. Erin just boxed his arm when she passed him and walked out of the break room.

″Get well soon,″ he said with his raspy voice but she just waved aside and went to Jay's desk, sitting down on its edge in front of him.

″So you can celebrate now. You won.″

″Come on, admit it. Laying in your bed is not the worst vision now,″ he replied.

″Maybe not.″

″See...″ he winked. He had that kind of winning smile on his face.

″Yeah, you're my hero.″

″I know. But now get your ass outta here. I'll come over later and take care of you.″

″Hm, maybe you shouldn't. We don't need another sick cop. And you wouldn't sleep tonight presuming that I'll always cough and whatever.″ He saw in her face that she didn't like the things she said but unfortunately she was kinda right regarding him to get sick too. He didn't like it either to spend the night away from her. Especially not THAT night.

″But...,″ he tried.

″Hank is going to kill us. First Atwater, then Ruzek, now me. And I don't think the dying princesses Atwater and Ruzek will come back before next week, so you better stay healthy,″ she tried to laugh but that ended in another bad cough.

″I don't like that,″ he said with a sad face.

″Me neither,″ she admitted and wanted to give him a little kiss on his cheek as no one else was in the bullpen.

″Hey you two! Don't you dare to kiss each other! And why are you even still here?″ Hank interrupted them, casually leaning on the door frame of his office. Erin raised her eyebrow and looked at Jay.

″What did I tell you?″

″Guess we have no choice then. Go home now. I'll text you.″

He squeezed her hand before she left and her tired face smiled when her lips formed the words I love you.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

When Erin was home, she just changed her jeans to a pair of leggins and grabbed one of Jays big Black Hawks hoodies that he had in her closet. She made herself another cup of tea and craweled into her bed just to fell asleep within seconds...

Meanwhile, Jay's day wasn't as spectacular either. Their case was a bit up in the wind and for now they couldn't do more than office work and trying to put some pieces together. He was more than glad when Hank sent them all home before six. Of course his boss did not forget to remind him again, that he can do everything he wants with his free time – despite seeing Erin.

So instead of spending the evening with the woman he loved, he went over to Chicago Med and picked his brother up from work.

Will Halstead was quite surprised when his younger brother walked into the Emergency Department.

″I thought you and Erin have something to celebrate tonight,″ he greeted his brother.

″Yeah, I thought that too,″ Jay answered, clearly disappointed.

″What happened? Trouble in paradise?″ Will joked.

″Nah, not at all. She's sick. Like super sick. And as Ruzek and Atwater are also out with the flu this week, I'm not allowed to be with my girlfriend. Order from Voight...″

″Ouch...″

″You say it. I mean, he's right in a way, but on the other hand...I don't know, it just bothers me. So, do you want to go to Mollys with me, drinking some beers to forget this day?″

″Sounds perfect to me. Just give me five minutes, I have to discharge someone and then I'm all yours.″

″Great,″ Jay replied, but his voice didn't sound like he found it that great at all.

He sat down in the waiting area of the Emergency Department, still clearly pissed. He has had some real plans in store for this evening. He wanted it to be special. And now it was anything else but special. Tomorrow was the day that they've been together for exactly six months. In a row. And he somehow wanted that day to be special from the very beginning. All 24 hours of it. Normally they were both not that kind of people who'd make a big deal out of it but their relationship just felt so right. So perfect. With Erin, he was happier than he has ever been before and somehow he wanted to say thank you. That she was always there for him. For loving him. For her being the girl he always dreamed of but never thought he'd ever get.

Ever since they became a couple he felt like he was complete. And that was something he hasn't felt in a really, really long time. Maybe never had. Of course they also had their rough days like every other couple, but that was just normal, right?

″Hey bro, what are you dreaming about?″ Will asked and interrupted his thoughts.

″That were some fast five minutes.″

″Actually it was ten,″ Will laughed and shook his head.

″Oh...well...whatever.″

″You ready or want to sit here forever?″

″Actually, can you do me a favour?″ Jay asked his brother.

″Depends on the favour...″ Will replied with a smirk.

″Can you give me some meds for Erin? You know, against...everything?″

Will couldn't do anything but laughing. His brother was really helpless when it came to medicine. ″Why didn't she go to see a doctor?″

″We're talking about Erin here...″ Jay sighed, rolling his eyes.

″Is she afraid or what?″

″I'd call it stubborn. She'd never go on her own will and yet, she's not weak enough that I can drag her there, so, can you help me?″

″Yeah, we'll work something out. Just wait here for a second.″

Five minutes later, Will came back with his hands full of meds.

″So this would be against head aches, this is for fever and growing pains and this is for cough. Ah, and this here is against a sore throat. These are all some light antibiotics and she should feel better soon. Is that enough?″

″You're awesome man.″

″Yeah I know. And I'll remember you next time when I need a favor,″ Will laughed. ″That means you don't care about Voights rule and we're not going to Mollys now?″

″I don't care about Voights stupid prohibition. Actually I never really did. She's my girlfriend and she needs me and just because he's afraid of having another sick cop around or whatever his damn reason is, I won't stay away from her,″ Jay replied with a determined face.

″Alright, so no Molly's tonight.″

″Oh no, we can go there and drink some beers. Erin is sleeping as she isn't answering to my texts, so I have time for my favorite brother,″ he smiled.

″Tzzzz, favorite brother. As if you have that much of a choice,″ Will laughed.

″You got it. You have to take what you get,″ Jay replied and tapped him on the shoulder.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

About half an hour later they sat on a table at Molly's and drank their beers.

″Cheers.″

″Cheers.″

″So what's the deal with Voight?″ Will asked his brother after taking a gulp of his beer.

″What do you mean?″

″You're still quite...pissed when talking about him...″

″Well...you know...he gave me, us, the green light for a relationship but sometimes...I don't know. I still have the feeling he tries to seperate us and does things like today on purpose.″

″Maybe he's just kinda scanning you. I mean, he's pretty much her father.″

″He has been scanning me for the last two years though...″

″He just wants to protect her.″ Will tried to say something positive but Jay interpreted it different.

″Why are you defending him?″ Jay angrily asked.

″I'm not. But that father-daughter-thing is always about protecting.″

″Honestly I don't care what this is about. But protecting her from me?″

″Nah, from any guy. He wants to make sure that no one breaks her heart.″

″I will never break her heart,″ he replied with a determined voice that Will never heard before.

″Then prove it.″

″I will. Somehow. Although I don't know how. But he's going to fully accept me. One day,″ he said more to himself, although he was not sure about whether Hank Voight would ever accept him as the man in Erin's life.

″I know that he is the closest thing she has to a father,″ he continued, ″and she loves him for everything he did for her and I know he also loves her like a daughter. But he always gives me the feeling that I'm not good enough for her.″

″Jay, I think he actually likes you. And respects you. It's just, Erin is his girl and maybe he's somehow not ready to let her go and share her with someone else.″ Will was pretty sure that he wasn't that wrong with his theory.

″Sounds logical. How long will that last?″ Jay asked and a forced smile got back to his face.

″Maybe some more months. Or years,″ he laughed.

″Great. I'm really looking forward to that,″ he sighed and took another gulp of his beer.

″You know, mom was the same when we were young. She scanned every girl and never found one good enough for us,″ Will smiled, while his thoughts were clearly back at those memories.

″Yaah,″ Jay just replied but tried everything not to look into his brothers eyes. Will didn't miss that.

″You remember that one time? I think it was your first girlfriend and you invited her to have dinner with us. The days before mom was talking about nothing else than that and...-″

″Yeah, yeah, I remember. It was...funny,″ Jay interrupted his brother. It was more than clear that he didn't want to talk about it. Or better: her. Their mother. Will knew that. Jay never wanted to talk about her. Or his past. Will tried to get him talking from time to time but as soon as he always tried it, Jay's face became hard and he abruptly ended the conversation.

For a brief second, Jay intensly thought about another topic they could talk about. He never talked about his past, his mom and surely never his father. He was simply not the talking-about-his-past-guy. He didn't want to incriminate anyone. This was something he had in common with Erin. And maybe that was why they were so perfect for each other. They both had difficult pasts and understood each other in a way no one else could. At the same time he knew that they'd have to talk about their pasts one day and that he had to tell her things he never shared with anyone else before. But not now. In some years...maybe...or better never.

″So, what's going on with you and Nat? Anything I don't know yet?″ Jay immediately asked, interrupting his own thoughts. Will looked into his brothers eyes and still saw the pain. He stared at him for some more seconds before he slightly shook his head and forced a smile.

″Nothing new there...″ he replied, taking another gulp of his beer.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

When Jay arrived at Erin's apartment it was later than he had expected. After the brothers had finally found a topic they both wanted to talk about, which was always sports in their case, they somehow forgot time. But as Erin hasn't answered his texts during the last hours it wasn't a big deal that it was late. He tried to be as silent as possible when he opened the door and walked into her apartment. He went over to the bedroom and found her sleeping peacefully and all snuggled up into her blanket so that he could only see the top of her head. He smiled when he saw her like that and for a second he thought about laying down next to her and wrapping his arms around her tiny body. But he didn't want to wake her up and she really needed a good amout of sleep. He tiptoed to the other side of the bed, trying not to make any noises, grabbed his pillow and his blanket, went to the living room and made himself a comfortable bed as possible on the couch. Before closing his eyes, Jay thought about how far they've come in these past six months. They had built up a solid relationship and he knew that Erin loved him just as much as he loved her. Calling her his girlfriend was something he never even dared to dream about and sometimes it was still unreal for him, that the woman he has had a crush on from the very first second, was now exactly that: his girlfriend. His partner. His soulmate. And so much more...

So, that's it, my first chapter. It's the first time that I actually publish a story I wrote. I know it's a lot of bla-bla but I mainly used this first chapter to build up a story and drop some hints where this might go. I promise, the next one is full of Linstead-love! :) Feel free to review and let me know what you think. I appreciate any kind of feedback as it helps me to get better.