18. Chapter 18

A/N: Sooooo I kinda fucked up the storylines a little in terms of relationships ... oops.

So for the sake of this story we're going to pretend Antonio and Brett started dating around 3x10 of Chicago PD and Connor and Dr Charles daughter (I forget her name ...) started dating recently - About 3x12 of the storyline of PD so late season 1 of Med after the girl Connor was dating left. I'm seriously terrible with remembering names that aren't Lindsay or Halstead Lol. Anyways sorry for the confusion

Also the LINEBREAK thing is weird and I don't know how to put one in of the FF app so instead ive written "~ABHYLB~" in place.

PS: Shoutout to my faves Daddy Savage Lord (who has "waited a century for a new chapter") and Charmita you guys are amazing xx

Enjoy!!

"Erin! There you are." Jay said as he ran up to her.

Erin sighed as she turned to face Jay, Ben resting comfortably on her hip as he drank from his bottle. She had come upstairs to her old room to put Ben down for his nap and, if she was being honest with herself, to escape Jay.

Kim had told her Jay was looking for her, and she knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. But she just wasn't ready for that conversation.

"Hey, I'm just putting him down for his nap." She says signalling for him to stop talking.

Jay lowers his voice but doesn't stop "we need to talk about this morning, I know what I said may have been misinterpreted but -"

"Jay it's fine." Erin says "I need to put him down for nap, I'll see you downstairs."

"Erin please, can we talk about this?" Jay pleads.

"I don't want to." She says stubbornly

Jay lets out a frustrated sigh "Erin I didn't mean it like that."

"Are you sure? Because I'm having a hell of a lot of trouble believing that." She snapped

"Of course I'm sure! What the hell have I done to make you think otherwise!?" He exclaims "Erin you've got to believe me, I didn't mean it the way you think I did."

Erin's quiet for a few moments, placing Ben down in the spare crib Hank keeps for his grandsons. Once she's sure he's down for his nap, she looks back at Jay putting her hand against his chest and pushing him out of the bedroom so they don't wake their son.

"It's not that I don't want to believe you Jay. But there's so many things that have happened between us, it's just hard to believe that you didn't meant it." She says softly.

"Erin I've done everything I can to show you how much I want to be in this with you, since the moment you've been back."

"But we've never even discussed what this is!" She yells "I told you I loved you that first night I came back, and you threw it in my face! You rejected me then just like you did this morning! And then two months later we're dating again and now it's like we were before I left, we're practically living together but we've never actually talked about what the hell were doing! What are we doing Jay!?"

He can hear the pain in her voice, the hurt she's held onto since that first night they spoke after she returned.

" ... I didn't realise marriage was something you wanted." He spluttered out.

Erin rolled her eyes, frustrated that from everything she said, that was what he got from the conversation.

"I've never said that I didn't want to. I just always thought that when I found the right guy I would. But apparently the idea of marrying me is so ridiculous to you-"

"I never said that!" Jay yelled cutting her off "Excuse me for thinking that my brother bringing up marriage to the girl who wouldn't even go on a date with me until two years after me first asking, was a level of commitment that would freak you out! You're not exactly known for your keenness on commitment."

"You and I have a kid together Jay. I would've thought that was enough reassurance of my commitment to you." Erin griped.

"Even with us having a kid it still took you a year after you got pregnant to even consider starting any kind of relationship with me!"

"Well you know what -" Erin began but was cut off as Hank appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Hey! I don't care what the hell you two are yelling about but it needs to stop right now. We've got guests and your voices travel. Not to mention you're going to wake your son."

Erin glared at Jay and then stormed off, barely muttering a "sorry Hank." as she passed him.

Jay held onto the bannister, his knuckles white from his tight grip as he tried to reign in his anger.

"You want to tell me what that was about?" Hank asked "I would've thought after our conversation last week things would be going good for you two. Unless she said no?"

"I haven't even gotten around to asking her yet." Jay grumbled out "I said something this morning that was ... misinterpreted, and Erin's gotten herself all riled up before even letting me explain."

Hank pats Jay's shoulder as a sign of understanding "look, I'll keep Ben with me tonight. You two talk."

"You don't need to -" Jay began to protest.

"I want to. Besides, Justin and Olive should be here tonight so it'll give me a rare chance to look after both of my grandsons." Hank said with a gentle smile.

Jay smiled, somewhat strained, back at Hank. In the few months since Erin had left the two men had grown closer, Jay would almost call it a friendship.

"Just remember." Hank said "you hurt her and they'll never find your body."

Like he said. Almost a friendship.

~ ABHYLB ~

Erin and Jay walk into her apartment quietly, Erin waiting to see if Jay will stay or go. To her surprise he stays, and while she goes to shower he heads into the bedroom to change and get into bed.

She stays under the hot water longer than she normally would, knowing that when she emerges she and Jay will have to talk, but she doesn't want to just yet.

The water starts to turn cold slowly and that's when Erin knows she no longer can hide. She gets out and dries herself off, slipping on her pyjamas and taking her time in drying her hair and brushing her teeth.

Wen she finally enters the bedroom she sees Jay's already lying on his side, and from the light of the moon she can make out his right arm stretched out to her side of the bed and she can't help but smile. Even in his sleep he still needs her.

She moves quietly, not wanting to wake him, and slips under his arm and the doona cover, scooting in close to him and laying her hand over his heart. It's quiet for a few moments, and Erin begins to believe that maybe he really is asleep, until his voice startles her.

"Can we talk?" He whispers into the darkness.

Erin nods against his chest as he continues "I'm sorry about this morning. I never meant for you to feel like I didn't want to marry you."

"I get that we're not at that stage yet Jay. But, I would like to know that it's at least a possibility sometime in our future."

"It is Erin." He said looking into her eyes "I can't wait for the day I get to ask you to be my wife. You have to know that, please."

Erin nods her head again "I do. And I'm sorry, I should've told you about everything I was feeling. I guess I've been holding onto some leftover anger from before, and it wasn't fair to just load that all onto you tonight."

"... you know I love you right?" He says after a few moments "At the risk of sounding cheesy, I've loved you for a long time now. Somewhere during our partnership, it just happened. And I never said it because I was scared, especially after you left, that maybe Ben and I weren't enough to make you happy."

Erin sat up slightly hovering over Jay "you and Ben are everything. Dont ever think anything different. If it weren't for you Jay, I wouldn't be here. You're my whole world."

Jay smiles softly leaning up to kiss her as she mumbles against his lips "I love you too, you dork."

He pulls back after a moment and slides out of the bed to grab something from his drawer in her room. He sits back down leaning against the headboard so she can lean into his side as he holds out a black box.

"I had this made a couple weeks ago, I was finding the right time to bring it up." He said handing the box to her.

Erin eyes the box curiously, opening it cautiously she spots a key sitting in the box. She looks up perplexed.

"It's for our new house." He says nervously "Hank helped me. It's got five bedrooms, so there's room for guests or ... if we expand our family ... and a really nice backyard for Ben to play in. There's an ensuite bathroom and a massive window in the kitchen to overlook the yard. The current owners need two months before we can move in so it gives us time to rent this place out to pay off the last bit of the mortgage." Jay keeps rambling off facts but Erin's mind is frozen.

"You bought a house?" Erin says shocked.

"I wanted to show you I was serious about us. And that, even though we still have our struggles, we're a family."

"Do you have a photo?" She asks, still trying to process everything.

Jay nods reaching over to grab his phone, and Erin notices he has a whole folder in his photos dedicated to photos of this house. And he's right; it's beautiful. There's a wrap around porch and a beautiful porch swing near the back entrance. The rooms are spacious but not too lavish, and the house looks like a place you'd raise a family in. A place that was built for good memories.

"It's perfect." She smiles, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Does that mean you'll move in with me?" He asks nervously.

"Of course!" She exclaims leaning over to kiss him.

She can feel his smile against his lips as their moment progresses, her fingers toying with the top of his boxers.

"I think we should celebrate." She whispers mischievously, but Jay could hear the undertone of nerves in her voice.

Jay raises an eyebrow in curiosity "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She says pulling her singlet off and tossing it behind her.

Jay groans as he takes in the sight of her bare body "I love you Erin Lindsay. So fucking much."

Erin looks down shyly feeling the blush spread through her face from Jay's heated gaze. She can see the lust and desire in his eyes, but that's not what causes the colour to rise to her cheeks. it's the complete and utter love that she can see wash over his face. No one has ever looked at her like that before, and she never wanted to be looked at like that by anyone other than Jay Halstead for as long as she lived.

And in that moment, any nerves that were present had vanished, replaced by the overwhelming love that surrounded them, that flooded his eyes and her heart.

"I love you too Jay Halstead." She said leaning back down to kiss him, the two partners pouring out all their love as they both finally lost themselves in one another.

A/N: the ending may have gotten a bit cheesy there but I never intended to make this a smut story so I tried to imply the sexual undertones without actually writing in detail :P

so, like I said in my author's note ALLLLL the way back in ch 2, I was never going to make this a simple 'I forgive you' kind of story for Linstead. I had always planned for that 'l love you' scene back at the beginning (Ch 4) to have a ripple effect which is what I tried to show here.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it and I hope those that PM'd me asking for some kind of sexual innuendo for Linstead liked the way I tried to do it! As always please leave a review they make me very happy and inspired!

- Maddie :)