Vacation

I got up from where I was sitting and started walking through the forest.

In the distance, I could hear the sound of a waterfall. I've always wanted to have a barbecue by a waterfall.

After a lifetime of running around, finally being able to sit back and enjoy myself...

It feels nice.

As I walked through the forest, I could hear the grass crunching beneath my sandals, the birds chirping, and the occasional gentle breeze brushing against me.

I really did need to relax. I figured the waterfall should be nearby.

If I expanded my senses just a little, I wouldn't just sense the waterfall—I could probably feel the entire planet. But that would ruin the fun.

Besides, the planet's spirit would probably get scared of my presence. And even if I calmed it down, it would eventually start complaining—like always—about how it's in trouble, how one race is fighting another, how it's suffering damage, and then, of course, it would insist, "Can you help me?"

I mean, I'm not a heartless person, but I'm not some kind of saint either. I just want to take a little vacation.

Lost in thought, I realized I had already arrived at the waterfall.

A lush, vibrant meadow stretched before me, dotted with colorful wildflowers. At the edge, towering cliffs poured water down into the falls.

As I admired the scenery, I noticed something—elemental spirits peeking out from behind the flowers and trees, slowly approaching me.

I smiled and waved at them before pulling out a table, chairs, knives, plates, and meat from my dimensional bag.

My bag was practically limitless in size, and honestly, I could say it contained almost everything a planet would need. Gold, diamonds, fine dinnerware and candelabras "borrowed" from now-extinct royal families and empires, beds...

I had already prepared the meats, fish, and salads beforehand. And, of course, everything was of the highest quality. I even had dragon meat. Seriously.

What's the best perk of having time and space abilities? A walking grocery store—where nothing ever goes bad.

Maybe I should become a chef? Though I'd probably be way too expensive. Jokes aside, maybe one day I'll cook a meal or two for my soulmate...

As I pondered these thoughts, I lit the grill, sat down in the chair I'd set up, and started arranging the meat.

And then—

"Kyaaaa!"

A scream, coming from the waterfall.

Honestly, I didn't even need to turn around to know what was coming next. I could already guess.

"Hey, you pervert! Don't look!"Or maybe—"Guards!"Or my personal favorite—"Just die!"

Seriously, why so dramatic?

First, the sound of water splashing. Then, the frantic rustling of clothes. Yep, now if I'm not mistaken, the next line should be...

"What are you doing here?! This is elf territory!"

Her voice sounded both irritated and embarrassed.

At least she was keeping some level of rationality. That was good. No immediate death threats, no screaming for guards. She hadn't even called me a pervert—yet. But if I turned around, unless the first thing out of my mouth was "I'm sorry," I'd be the bad guy no matter what.

"When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the forest. Then, I followed the sound of the waterfall," I said while flipping the meat.

Should I make burgers or sautéed meat?

I do have salad, actually. Maybe I should make some rice to go with it—that might be better.

"This is the closest place to the World Tree. It's the royal palace's backyard. How can you even be here?" she asked, her voice laced with irritation as she walked closer.

Why the frown? Is she upset because I didn't look at her? Or because I didn't apologize? Or… who knows, women…

"Hey, what do you think? Should I make burgers or sautéed meat?" I asked while watching the meat. I shouldn't overcook it—medium rare is just right.

She kept approaching me but didn't say anything.

I waited for an answer, but there was only silence. Was the smell bothering her? Elves are usually vegetarian. Though some do eat meat, it has to be high-quality, or else they have trouble digesting it.

Should I broaden your horizons? I bet you've never had this kind of meat before. Since you said "our royal palace," you must be either the queen or a princess...

Still, this planet's laws aren't that strict. And the mana concentration isn't that high, either. Should I call it a lower—or maybe mid-tier—planet?

Either way, this meat has high mana density. I'm sure it won't cause any discomfort.

After waiting a little longer and still getting no response, I finally turned to look at her.

Her golden hair cascaded down her back, and on the left side, a delicate flower-petal hairpin rested near her ear.

Her pale skin marked her as a forest elf, and at around 180 cm tall, the long white dress she wore hinted at a graceful figure.

Her face had a sharp yet feminine structure. Her long ears twitched up and down as her emerald-green eyes shyly met mine.

The moment our eyes locked, she quickly looked down. I could see her blushing even more. Princess...

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, still sitting in my chair as I watched her.

"I-I'm fine. Yes, I'm fine. It's just..." she trailed off, her eyes darting around before finally settling on the meat. "The smell is a bit… overwhelming," she admitted, flustered and panicked.

Girl, I'm sorry, but… you already lost from the start. Come on, pull yourself together. You're a long-lived elf, aren't you?

"Alright then, hamburgers or—" I cut myself off as I noticed the meat cooking faster than I wanted. I quickly stood up.

"No! My perfectly medium-rare meat!" I shouted, rushing to grab it off the grill.

I threw some cheese and buns onto the grill while pulling out a few sauces from my spatial bag.

Then, I took out another chair and placed it behind her.

"It'll be ready soon. Would you like some?" I asked as she sat down.

"T-Thank you. But I'm an elf, which means I'm vegetarian. I shouldn't eat meat," she murmured, looking down shyly.

Without letting her see, I pretended I was just preparing my own burger. I sprinkled some seasoning on the meat, then pulled out a special leaf—similar to arugula but larger—something elves absolutely loved.

After seasoning the meat a bit more, I drizzled some elf-exclusive sauces over it and…

I wrapped the meat so well that not a single part of it was visible. It looked just like two leaves layered together.

Even if she took a bite, the sauce was green, so I doubted she'd even notice the meat inside.

Meanwhile, I prepared my own burger—just to avoid suspicion, of course.

Another elf, another day of corruption. One by one, they'll all eat meat!

"Here you go. I call this a vegetarian burger. As you know, these special leaves are perfect for elves—they're highly nutritious. And with the blend of spices and special sauces I added, you'll feel amazing after eating it. Enjoy," I said with a slight smile as I placed the plate in front of her.

She glanced at my face before lowering her head again. I could see her blushing even more.

Well, silence is nice. The important thing is that she takes a bite first. I quickly pulled out a glass, popped open a bottle of champagne, and poured some for her.

Yes, the non-alcoholic kind. The kind for kids. Elves have an absurdly low alcohol tolerance—I really don't need that kind of trouble…

Then, I opened a proper bottle for myself, poured a glass, and sat down, watching the elf across from me.

She stared at the leaves on her plate, looking around for a fork and knife.

Instead of explaining, I figured it was better to show her.

I picked up my burger with one hand, carefully wrapped the bottom with a napkin, and then took a bite, holding it properly with both hands.

I could feel her watching me, little princess.

After a moment, she tried to wrap her own burger like I did but fumbled with it.

"Here, let me show you," I said, quickly wrapping her burger in a napkin before gently guiding her hands to the right grip.

"Thank you," she mumbled, her face now completely red as she immediately took a bite to hide it.

Yes! Welcome to the world of carnivores, little princess. You're one of us now.

Ding! I could almost hear my system saying, "Mission complete."

As the elemental spirits danced around us, the setting sun painted the sky in hues of gold and crimson. The peaceful atmosphere, the presence of a sweet elf princess, and a successful little bit of corruption... I'd say this is turning into a fantastic blind date.

Munch munch

Hearing her chewing sounds, I could tell she was enjoying it.

When I looked at her, I saw a princess who had completely forgotten her grace, her eyes sparkling with delight.

We finished our meal in silence, save for the occasional soft chewing noises. Just as I expected, she didn't talk much. Or rather, she couldn't.

If I push her any further, she might actually start digging a hole in the ground and bury herself in it. She's probably replaying the sounds she made in her head by now. If I keep teasing her, I might actually start feeling bad.

"I'm Kylin. May I know the name of this elegant young lady before me?" I asked with a gentle smile.

I didn't call her `elegant` just to make her blush even more. Am I really that bad of a person?

"I... Pleased to meet you, Kylin. My name is Elie Dun Svorjke, the second elf princess."

"Nice to meet you, Elie. You have a lovely name," I said, watching as her ears twitched.

Normally, I shouldn't be addressing a princess so casually but... whatever, who cares?

"I-I don't understand. Are you an elf?" she asked, looking at me with a mix of confusion and tension. "I can see your ears—you're human. No, could you be a half-elf? But even then, you shouldn't smell like this…"

"What makes you think that?" I asked, leaning back in my chair and resting my chin on my hand.

Now, what should I do next…? Since I'm already in elf territory, I might as well restock on World Tree leaves. Once dried, they roll into some really nice cigarettes.

"Because you smell like an elf. No, even more than my father… You smell too much like an elf. Do you have royal blood? But… you're not an elf…"

She made a face as if even she couldn't believe the nonsense she had just said.

Look at that expression—are you secretly a cute princess?

"No, princess, I'm a human. Through and through."

"B-but… humans are supposed to be untrustworthy and evil… You don't seem untrustworthy at all, and you even smell… nice?" she said, fidgeting with her fingers, a bit embarrassed.

Ah, princess, that wounded my human pride. But I understand you. After all, there's a limit to how cruel and ruthless someone can be. And right now, you're looking at that limit.

Anyway, I'm a gentleman.

"It's a bit complicated, but as I said, I'm human. As for what you said about my race… let's just say it's a matter of character. Judging someone solely by their race is a bit… sad?" I said, feigning a look of disappointment.

"I'm sorry! That's not what I meant!" she said, suddenly standing up in a fluster. I could see how nervous she was.

"Haha—ehm, it's fine. I've seen some truly awful humans myself, so I understand where you're coming from," I replied, doing my best not to laugh.

Look at her expression…

Is she a flower? How is her face blooming and closing like that?

"You said you found yourself in the forest. Do you have a place to stay? I… I would like to invite you as our guest," she said, then quickly corrected herself, realizing how it might sound. "Of course, as thanks for the delicious meal."

"Oh, um… are you sure? We barely know each other. I wouldn't want to cause any trouble with your family," I said, pretending to be a bit hesitant.

"Yes! I mean—no, it won't be a problem! I don't think my family will say anything," she said, her ears twitching up and down. She seemed excited.

Now, now, dear elf lady… let's be real for a second.

A random human suddenly appears in your backyard—a place where no humans are supposed to be. And not only that, but he's casually barbecuing.

And he smells like an elf.

No offense, but your family is absolutely going to interrogate me the moment we step foot inside.

And if they're extra protective of you, I'll probably be dead by morning.

Well… if I didn't have my powers, that is.

"Thank you, then. To be honest, I do feel a bit uneasy. I suddenly ended up in an unfamiliar place. If you could just show me the way back to the human continent, I'll leave without causing any trouble," I said, standing up.

I started gathering my things, packing everything neatly back into my bag.

"N-no, it's fine! I-I'll help you. If necessary, I'll even accompany you all the way to the human continent," she said, looking a bit sad.

"Alright then, I'll be in your care, Elie. I just hope your family won't cause any problems," I said with a smile.

She suddenly grabbed my hand, as if worried I might run away, and started pulling me forward excitedly.

"It's fine! I'm an elf princess! No one can lay a finger on my guest!" she declared, proudly lifting her chin.

And so, we began our journey toward the World Tree—toward the royal palace…