A step to healing:

General POV.

For one to heal, he should first admit that he has a problem.Let's take addiction for example, one has to accept that he is an addict before anything else...that's the first step to healing.

Dario had Blake admit that he had a problem and that he needed professional aid.Blake didn't have a problem with talking to a therapist as long as it will help him get some good sleep in future.He sure loved sleep.

"First meeting scheduled at 10:00 am."

Dario reminded him.

Blake nodded.

Suddenly he remembered something:

"Photography?" He asked suspiciously.

Dario chuckled.His brother surely kept tags on him.

"I'm surprised you found out late?"

Blake realized he was trying to divert the topic.He knew his brother very well.

"Stop diverting the topic. I Know that you loveme photography but why R&L?"

"Keeping eyes on the old man."

Blake nodded in understanding.He didn't want to talk or think about The Williams.With that Dario left for work.

They say time flies like a thief in the night.It was almost time .He began feeling nervous.It was expected because he really had never opened up his darker secrets to anyone. But for his brother's peace of mind, he decided to try it out.

~~~

Blake's pov

I'm in the office now. My therapist looks friendly...i guess they all do. The room is awfully silent and the silence is driving me crazy.I'm like...does she expect me to say something or did she ask me a question and now she's expecting an answer.

Just as i am about to confirm my second assumption with her, she says something.Thank God.

"I'm sorry about the silence. There was just a small problem which is now being fixed."

"Should I be concerned?" I asked.

"Not really.It's just a lady outside who wants to see me .It's already settled."

I nodded in understanding.

"So Mr Anderson i need you to know that this is a safe place.You can tell me anything and it'll just be between us."

That's doable.I'm not sure what i should say or what i shouldn't.

"The truth." She says.

I'm confused.I didn't ask her anything.

"I saw you hesitating so i guessed you were thinking of what you should or should not say.I won't force you to say anything but you should know that for you to heal and for me to help you, you should say the truth."

It seems i forgot that these people can literally read people's mind.I am not planning to hide anything.I am planning to be honest with her from the word go.I close my eyes, take a deep breath before beginning the story.

"I am Blake Anderson.I'm 21years old.A week ago i had borrowed my brother's car.It's not as if i don't have mine but i just loved getting into his nerves...Yeah he doesn't like sharing his stuffs moreso the expensive ones.I was there driving. It felt good i must say...you know the feeling of getting something that you thought you couldn't get.I must confess this...i was driving above the speed limit.I don't want you to feel like I'm justifying my actions but the roads were clear.Then allover sudden a car was being driven from the opposite direction...i panicked instantly.I didn't think of driving back to the left side where i should have been driving on in the first place or braking or slowing down.I couldn't think straight.

I don't know what happened later.I only heard a crushing sound.Then i saw blood.The man died after being rushed to the hospital.

My life since the accident has never been the same.I feel responsible for what happened.I know it was an unintentional accident but i was negligent. I often think that the accident wouldn't have happened were it not for my negligence. Sometimes i feel like, 'I should be punished, I should be treated with disdain.' I'm literally being haunted right now. Ever since that accident, nobody has talked about it with me.My friends behave as if everything is normal.My brother is also the same.It's like everyone is avoiding the topic.Then last night happened. Last night things someone got out of hand somehow and now here i am.I know i have a problem and i need your help."

I didn't even realize that i was crying until i saw the her giving me the tissues. She waited until i had calmed down before she began talking.

"An accidental killer.I must say you were very brave because most accidental killers often stay silent, consumed by shame and worry that the blood-debt they have incurred will somehow come due. And the fact that there is little published research on accidental killing and few resources available to those who unwillingly join the group makes them feel ignored by the society in general. The databases usually track only accidental deaths, not the people who've caused them. This is one of the most ignored topics in the world right now.What people doesn't know is that pain of an accidental killer can be more complicated than the pain of the victim's family.They can all at once face trauma, grief, and fear about what could happen to them and then guilt and shame for feeling that fear.

You said that you feel like those close to you including your brother are avoiding that topic. It is normal.This is because usually they often treat the topic as a taboo as if they might crush or upset you further.

You also talked about last night's event that made you decide to come for therapy...i guess it was so traumatic them.If you aren't still ready to talk about it, it's fine.Give yourself some time.All i need you to know is that accidental killers can develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder including flashbacks and hallucinations so it's normal for you to often think about that event.

The fact that you came here to talk to me is a huge step.I promise you that we'll together work on it.As i said earlier this is a safe place."

I admit that this people talk alot. But it was very helpful. Many of my questions have been answered. Her explanation made sense. I must say i made the right decision coming here.

We didn't talk much after that, she gave me a note book and encouraged me to often write what i feel daily.It was like a homework.Life seemed to be getting better...or at least i thought so.

As I was walking past the exit, I saw this lady... young and in a disheveled state.Then i remembered my therapist said a lady wanted to see her.Maybe she was the one.

♥✨♥

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