Chapter two

Shelly

I can’t breathe. Not again. Please—not here. Not now.

I need to get out.

"Sheelllllyyyy..." a sing-song voice echoed inside my head.

No. No, no, no. Please. I’m sorry. If anyone out there is listening, please—help me.

"Shellllyyy..."

"Shellllllyyy..."

"Shelly."

“Shelly, it’s me. It’s Lucy. I’m going to touch you now, okay? Just take my hands and listen to my voice. You’re safe.”

“Lu… Lucy?”

“Yes, darling. It’s me. Just listen. You’re safe now.”

“I’m s-sorry… I didn’t m-mean to freak out… I’m sorry for… emba—embarrassing you…”

“Hey. You didn’t embarrass me. Not at all. And nobody noticed, okay? I got to you before anyone even realized.”

I sucked in a shaky breath. In. Out. The familiar scent of the restaurant always helped. But today… there was something else. Something new. I had never smelled anything like it. As I inhaled deeper, it felt like a wave of calm wrapped around me. Peaceful. Warm.

“Shelly?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Can you open your eyes for me? Just look at me.”

I blinked and slowly opened my eyes. We were in Lucy’s office. I didn’t want to meet her gaze. I couldn’t. Seeing pity in her eyes would break me. Because somehow, without meaning to, she had become my family. And it hurt knowing I kept disappointing her.

From the corner of my vision, I saw her moving around before sitting in front of me.

“Hey,” she said gently. “Look at me.”

I shook my head.

“Shelly… I’ve never said this because I didn’t know how you’d react. But I love you. You’re not just a roommate. You’re not just a friend. You’re my family. I know you might never see me that way, but—”

“Are you… crying?” I looked up, surprised.

“No. I’m not crying.”

“You are. Why? Wait—you… you consider me family? But I’m… I’m broken.”

“So?” she said softly.

“So… I… Can I hug you?”

“Yes.”

She was probably shocked I asked. I never initiated touch. But she didn’t hesitate. She didn’t make it feel like a big deal. She didn’t make me feel like a problem.

And for the first time in my life, I wanted to try. I was so tired—tired of being scared, of being distant, of feeling like a shadow of a person. I wanted to feel normal.

So I let go. And I hugged her as tightly as I could.

“Breathe, Shelly,” she murmured, her hand rubbing my back gently. “You’re okay. Just breathe.”

And she was right. I was okay.

Tears spilled down my cheeks—years of pain, years without touch, years of holding everything in. And she held me through it all. She didn’t let go.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, it was dark outside—and for the first time in what felt like forever, I hadn’t had a single nightmare.

“Hey. You awake?” Lucy called from the door.

“Yeah. Thank you, Lucy.”

“You’re welcome.”

The silence settled between us—soft and comforting, not awkward like before.

“Who was that?” I asked after a beat.

“Who?”

“The guy who came in before I… before my episode.”

Lucy’s expression shifted, like she was trying to play it cool—but something about her body stiffened.

“Lucy? Who was he?”

“That was Andy,” she said after a pause.

“Andy? Andy? As in your brother? The one you never talk about?”

“Yes, that Andy.”

“You never said he was… huge.”

She chuckled. “Yeah, he is.”

“You know, when you first mentioned him, I pictured some middle-aged guy, balding, married, with like five kids. But he’s not that much older than you. I don’t want to pry but… why don’t you ever talk about him?”

She was quiet for so long, I thought she wasn’t going to answer.

“We used to be really close,” she finally said. “Andy and I did everything together—played, laughed, fought. He was my hero. Then one day… he just changed. He went quiet. Distant. Bitter. Scary.”

Her voice cracked a little.

“When I was younger, I thought I did something wrong. I kept trying to reach him. I’d follow him around, ask him questions, beg for attention—but he’d just snap. Or yell. Eventually, I stopped trying.”

She exhaled slowly, a weight behind the sound.

“As I got older, I convinced myself he was just an asshole. I tried to hate him. But I still miss him. So much. I think, deep down, I’m still that little girl waiting for her big brother to look at her again.”

I walked over and hugged her. “It’s okay.”

“Thank you,” she whispered as she pulled back. “We should head home. Tomorrow’s another day.”

She grabbed her bag, then suddenly laughed.

“What?” I asked, smiling despite myself.

“I just remembered when I first opened this place. I stood right here, staring out the window, waiting for him.”

“For Andy?”

“Yeah. For some reason, I thought he’d show up. I waited so long, I fell asleep. When I woke up and he still wasn’t here—I was so angry, I trashed the place.”

“You what?” I stared at her. “You trashed it? Seriously?”

She laughed harder. “Yeah. I’ve never been that mad. I thought, ‘If he didn’t show up for the biggest day of my life, why would he ever care about anything I do?’ That’s actually how I came up with the name Beta’s.”

“To piss him off?”

“Exactly.”

“Did it work?”

“Nope. He never came. Never called. Nothing. I've tried other things to get a reaction, but it’s like I don’t even exist to him anymore.” She shrugged. “Anyway, enough about my brother. Let’s go home.”