18

Chapter 9: A new chapter for you

There weren't any words I could say, though. No matter what I thought about him I still couldn't manage to form them in my mind. It was impossible.

It seemed that he was busy with one thing or another when I left for school and it made me wonder if he might be working on something very important, and whether he was busy because of me. Perhaps he wanted to avoid seeing me again so he didn't have to deal with my stupid questions anymore. At least that seemed to be the reason that was occurring to me as well. Maybe he needed some alone time after my confession and didn't need to see me again for now. I guess it was better than having to deal with me all the time.

As I was walking towards the pier, a lot of thoughts filled my mind:

Is he thinking about what I said at lunch today? Is he upset?

Does he want to be away from me?

Is he going to ask me to stop following him to the coffee shop?

But what I didn't expect was that he wouldn't be at the pier anymore that same day. He hadn't left the house for days and the fact that he was at the pier today surprised me more than anything else. I didn't know why he would leave the house for days without telling anyone where he was going or why he wouldn't return to his apartment or what the heck was he actually doing there. Did he need help? Was it the person who helped him? Did it concern the Turtle? How did he know them?

And then I noticed that I didn't even want to know the answers to any of these questions because, honestly speaking, I had already given him too much information. After hearing about his turtle, his past, everything he said and told me during that conversation, I suddenly started realizing that I was in the wrong and it was my fault to begin with, even if it wasn't entirely my decision. So, without waiting for anyone, I quickly started to make a run for my bike and headed toward the pier. As I was crossing through some small neighborhoods I heard my name being called behind me. Looking back I saw Carlos running to catch up with me. Once he caught up to me, he took a deep breath and stopped in his tracks.

"Hey, Jay, wait up for me a second please."

I turned my bike around slowly and waited for Carlos to catch up to me.

"Everything alright?" I asked worriedly. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied while putting his hands inside his pockets. "What brings you here today?"

"My sister woke me up and dragged me out of bed," I stated while glancing at him. "We're heading to the pier."

"Do you wanna hang out there for awhile?" Carlos questioned.

"Sure!" I nodded and followed him while starting to pedal my bike. "What's there?"

"A couple of guys in the water training and some people hanging around."

"Cool," I said with enthusiasm. "I've never actually been to a boat show before and it'd probably be great experience for me to witness the whole process firsthand."

After stopping near where everyone was gathered, Carlos pulled me aside as the crowd began dispersing and I was able to get a good look at what all those boys were practicing swimming in. The sea turtles looked like they were playing some kind of a game.

"How many of these animals are there?" I asked curiously as I watched them swim.

"Only two hundred or so," Carlos responded. "Most of them only come once a week for competitions. I hear most of them don't come twice because they don't want to swim in water as dirty and polluted as this ocean is. But sometimes some of them do come because they are really good swimmers. Some of the older kids are always coming, too, but I never see them."

"Wow," I commented. "This is amazing! Why is it so hard for us to get out here?"

"I guess it's because nobody wants to spend their money on boats," he told me. "Not that that makes them less worth the money, obviously. My dad owns an RV and he lets us use it when we want to come outside. And since you know me, I think it's safe to assume you aren't scared of the ocean, either."

"Well, yeah, I am afraid of the water," I admitted reluctantly. "And since I'm going to be spending more than three weeks there, I'll be able to practice my swimming every day and make sure I'm ready for when I'll have to get out in the water. I hope the turtles will teach me how to communicate with them. It's such an amazing opportunity for communication."

"Yeah, definitely," Carlos agreed, smiling and nodding his head. "You know, you shouldn't waste your time worrying so much about stuff you don't understand. You could learn more if you try instead of just trying to find a solution for a problem."

"I guess you're right...but I guess I just feel like I can't do anything by sitting around the house all the time, not wanting to be alone or to bother my mother anymore or to get into fights because she doesn't believe that I'm happy with my new job. I feel like I'm just wasting all my potential because I refuse to do something."

I stopped for a moment to look at my shoes and sighed.

"You may not understand yet, Carlos, but I can assure you that I am not wasting all my potential. I just don't want to waste my life that way."

I took a few steps backwards and stopped in the middle of the road before turning to face Carlos.

"But why does it have to be like that between us, Carlos? If you can't accept me the way I am, I don't even know why it seems that you can accept me as I am now. All I can do is respect and honor whatever differences we have between ourselves. I just hope that eventually things will get easier for us and maybe we'll finally have the chance to make friends with each other."

"Jay, I'm sorry…" he whispered before stopping himself for a short moment. He continued with an almost pleading voice: "You are wrong in what you are saying. You know, you are not a waste of time for me at all. There isn't anybody in the world who I'd rather hang out with than you."

"Really?" I blinked my eyes in surprise. "Oh gosh, I really am sorry..."

Carlos shook his head and smiled slightly.

"No, don't apologize. Don't worry about it. I'm sorry you ever felt that way."

He reached out for my hand and placed it against his cheek.

"I love you," he whispered before letting go of my hand and starting to walk backwards, "and you are more than welcome to hang out anytime you want to, but… I think it might be best that you take care of yourself for the rest of the summer. I know that you want to spend a lot of time with mom and Dad but, as far as we know, you haven't spoken with her and I don't think we should force that issue. So, I think you should give yourself some time to relax, to clear your head, and to sort things out and then we can talk about it again. You can call me whenever, of course."

He paused for a short while and gave me an encouraging smile before continuing.

"You know, I really like you very much and I think you're pretty cool. You're beautiful, too, which I think is one of the most attractive qualities you possess. You're smart, funny, talented, and kind. You're strong in a way nobody knows. In the end, Jay, you're just perfect."

He then leaned in closer and pressed his lips against mine for a brief kiss, making me blush and smile. When he pulled away, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with both my hands and kissed him passionately, enjoying the sensation. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and we embraced the passion of our embrace before parting ways and watching each other walking away.

That night I couldn't sleep a wink until I saw my phone ringing beside me at least 3 times. It was my cell phone ringing nonstop; all of the calls were unanswered, except the last one which ended up being my voicemail. I knew immediately who had sent me the calls.

It must be Jason! He must have received my letter!

The next morning I went downstairs right at 7 am after taking a quick shower in order to change and prepare myself for school. I didn't realize that I didn't eat breakfast that morning but when I got down to the living room to pick my bag out of the closet, Mom was already sitting on the couch holding something in her lap. She was looking down at the floor, completely silent and completely still. When she noticed that I was standing in the doorway, she quickly picked up a piece of paper from her lap and put it into her purse before standing up from the couch and walking towards the door.

She was acting weird; I could tell that she was nervous and didn't seem herself at all. She opened her mouth several times to say something but each time she shut it again, unable to form any sentences. After standing in front of the door for nearly ten minutes, she finally managed to open her mouth to speak to me.

"Good morning honey," she said quietly with a forced smile on her face.

When she said that, I realized that she was holding a bunch of envelopes in her hands and I could easily tell that the papers contained letters from Jason. At first glance, they appeared harmless enough, but then I began to notice small signs of tears and sadness hidden within her eyes; it seemed like the letters were affecting her more than I thought.

"Mom?" I questioned with concern.

"Yes, Jay, it's okay."

She tried to hide her sadness by forcing a smile onto her face while placing her hands over her abdomen and sighing in response.