Naru-chan's friends and family (part 1)

The first year of his second life was the most aggravating thing Naruto had ever experienced. Being an infant, there were a great many things he was simply physically incapable of doing.

For example, eating solid foods. Walking. Talking. Bathroom breaks. Sitting up. Seeing clearly.

Most of those, Naruto re-mastered within the first year, but until then, it was hell. Boring, humiliating hell.

The only bright spot was his mother and her amazing ability to know what Naruto was feeling and thinking. Well, not the teenage time traveler part, but everything else — when he was hungry, when he was bored, when he wanted to go outside, when he wanted to throw paint balloons at Danzo, when he wanted to be held.

Okay, so maybe there was another good part — being held so often and so tenderly.

Jiraiya had tried to say something about Naruto never learning to walk, with the way Kushina was always carrying him around, but Naruto retaliated by barfing into his hair. After that, Jiraiya just complained about what a momma's boy he was. Kushina always looked inordinately pleased at that.

But overall, especially the first six months, Naruto couldn't do anything but lie there, and sleep. He slept a lot.

Or rather, he went into his mindscape a lot.

Kurama quickly got tired of him, and cravenly dumped Naruto on the other bijuu, through their special bijuu instantaneous, regardless-of-distance communication method. It turned out the other bijuu remembered everything too. They bitterly complained and blamed Naruto and Kurama, jointly.

Remembering didn't do most of them much good. Their jinchuuriki never listened to them, and they had no way of acting outside their seals. Even Gyuuki, who was already on good terms with B, hesitated to tell his host about their little time travel adventure.

Even B would have trouble believing it, no matter how eccentric he was.

So Naruto spent his first few months harassing Shukaku into being nicer to Gaara.

"Argh, shut up!" the Ichibi finally lost his temper. He had held out for a surprisingly long while. "I already decided to do that anyway!"

Given the way he snapped his jaws shut and glowered afterwards, Shukaku hadn't intended to admit that.

"Oh. So you like Gaara, huh?" Naruto said, beaming.

"W-whatever, he's not the worst host," Shukaku muttered. "…He said he was grateful to me. And he tried to protect me…"

"Yeah, Gaara's really cool," Naruto — the reason for Gaara's gratitude — agreed seriously. "I mean, when I saw him in the war, he was so… heroic!"

They nodded together, both remembering the man Gaara had the potential to become. "Idiots," Kurama muttered.

"What did you say?!" Shukaku roared. "What the hell do you know?! My host is hundred times better than your brat!"

"Oi," Naruto muttered, but only half heartedly. Gaara really was very cool.

"He's not mine! Don't make me into some kind of set with him," Kurama protested.

Shukaku ignored them both, now on a roll. "Gaara made Kage long before yours did! And he'll do it again! You watch!"

Naruto couldn't let that pass. "Fine! You're on!" he swore. "I'll beat Gaara to the hat this time, just watch!"

~.~.~

There was, however, a very large obstacle in Naruto's way up Hokage.

The current Hokage. Konoha's Yellow Flash. Genius and inspirational leader. The Yondaime, Namikaze Minato.

His father was a weird subject for Naruto. Whether because he had never spent much time around children, because he was a genius and thus naturally lacking in common sense, or because he was a genius and almost precognitive in his perceptiveness, Minato never treated Naruto as a child. He spoke to Naruto without a hint of baby talk, and while he couldn't understand Naruto instinctively, like Kushina, Minato quickly became scarily good at reading Naruto's baby body language.

Various friends and acquaintances tried to correct Minato and assure him that several month old infants didn't really understand words yet — they held out some forlorn hope that at least one of Naruto's parents could be reasoned with — but Minato just looked at them with polite incomprehension.

"Of course Naruto can understand me," Minato said reasonably. "Naruto is special. I could feel it from the moment he was born."

He didn't even sound like a dotting parent, more like a commander assessing his troops.

Not that Naruto saw much of Minato. He suspected he would have never seen his father at all if Kushina hadn't apparently informed Minato at some point that families ate dinner together, so Minato would be home for dinner, every day. Or else.

Minato dutifully returned home every evening, even if he then headed back to the office right after eating. The fact that Kushina's cooking was absolutely heavenly probably helped motivate him.

Overall, Kushina was clearly the smart one, Naruto judged. His dad had really lucked out, getting such a strong, smart, kind beauty to marry him.

Though Naruto sort of suspected Kushina had been the one to propose. Minato seemed pretty useless at relationship stuff, that sissy.

~.~.~

Like a good son, Naruto made sure his first word was "Mama." It was the least he could do for his wonderful, amazing mother.

His second was "Ramen."

~.~.~

But still, being a baby was really boring. About as boring as being sealed away, it seemed.

The first time Naruto faced the bijuu in their shared mind space, he had been rather intimidated, to be honest. It had seemed like something… awe-inspiring, sacred. Of course, being Naruto, he had squared his shoulders and stared them down, but…

He got used to it very quickly, and sitting next to Kurama at one of their bijuu pow-wows — Kurama had made strangled noises when Naruto first called it that — became one of the more entertaining parts of his infant lifestyle.

"Well, he's the reincarnation of the old man's kid, the younger one, right?" Matatabi said reasonably. "He's practically a sibling."

Kurama made more unhappy noises, but Isobu, Kokuou and Choumei agreed. Shukaku agreed too, just to spite Kurama.

"Fuu tried to fly for the first time today," Choumei reported, wings buzzing excitedly. "She crashed through three stands and a vegetable patch."

"Han tried to hit on the innkeeper's daughter," Kokuou sighed.

"Did she slap him?" Naruto asked, based on his Jiraiya experience.

"No, Han's pretty slick," the Gobi said dryly. "She burned her hand when she tried to caress his chest."

"Why didn't he take the armor off before trying to get some?" Naruto wondered.

"I said he was slick, not smart," Kokuou muttered.

"Roshi burned half his beard off trying to use Youton to light his pipe," Son Goku told them, commiseratingly.

Gyuuki just shook his head. There were no words to describe B's special brand of eccentricity.

"Shahahah! My host is the best! He's not an idiot!" Shukaku cackled.

"Your host's, what, four months old now," Matatabi pointed out. "It's all in the future. Yugito used to be a smart one too, but now… It's all boys with her! And she doesn't even know what to do with them, so she just keeps beating them up and then crying when they get mad at her!"

Puberty. Kurama chuckled nervously. He still dreaded the day Naruto went through that for real.

"I bet Gaara is a really cute baby," Naruto decided.

Shukaku preened.

"You're cuter," Kurama muttered without thinking. Then, realizing what he had said, made a valiant effort to bijuudama himself.

~.~.~

Just before Naruto's first birthday — thankfully, by this point, Naruto could walk somewhat reliably and had a vocabulary that included all the most important words; his aim was also quite good, perfect for nailing annoying people in the face with vegetable mush and then looking innocent — Isobu appeared at their usual pow-wow with an unusually serious expression.

Naruto took a moment to consider the implications of being able to read a giant one-eyed turtle's expressions.

"I just reformed," Isobu told everyone. "And… I don't remember very well, but I think Yagura and that masked man will come for me soon."

His physical form had been dispersed when his previous, short-lived host — Kakashi's teammate Rin — had died toward the end of the Third War. Now, Isobu had finally reconstructed himself in the real world, ending up in the quiet bay of a small island in Mizu no Kuni.

In the original timeline, that was where he had been approached, ensnared and sealed by "Tobi." Even then, Yagura had already been his pawn, used to become Isobu's vessel, though he wasn't Mizukage yet.

"I don't mind going with Yagura again," Isobu said. "We never got to talk much, but I think he was a good person."

"He really seemed that way," Naruto agreed.

"But that masked man…" Isobu fretted.

"He's got that detestable Sharingan. He can control any of us," Kurama growled. "We're helpless against him."

Shukaku muttered something like, "I bet you'd know," but quickly dropped it when Matatabi bit him and glared.

"But he doesn't have that Shisui guy's special unbeatable brainwashing, so it's just a really strong genjutsu, right?" Naruto asked. "And you can beat those if you have a partner. You and Yagura can, you know, disrupt each other's chakra or something and… well, I guess you better run. He's pretty hard to take on." Under his breath, he muttered, "Those Uchihas are such cheaters…"

"Detestable Sharingan," Kurama agreed.

"Hmm, if I remember right," Naruto mused, screwing up his face in concentration, one hand on his chin, "he can't teleport and be intangible at the same time…"

"Yeah! So if you dive deep, he can't follow!" Saiken said encouragingly. Since he and Isobu had both been with Kiri for several generations, they got along rather well.

Isobu hummed thoughtfully, his tails lashing. "…Okay," he said. "I'll try it."

"You can do it! We're all with you!" Naruto said.

~.~.~

Unfortunately, encouraging and somewhat strategic pow-wows was all they could do to help Isobu — B had gotten himself put under house arrest again and couldn't have run off to Mizu even if Gyuuki could convince him, Gaara was still too young to understand Shukaku, and Naruto couldn't imagine where he would even start explaining this to his parents. Minato was oddly credulous, but not that much, right?

So they waited with varying degrees of anticipation and worry for any news from the Sanbi.

"Okay," Isobu finally reported, reappearing in their shared mind space. "I think we're good, for now. Here's what happened…"

The masked man had appeared beside Yagura, but he seemed content to send his puppet out alone. Isobu explained that Yagura's chakra resonated especially well with the Sanbi, to the point that he could control the bijuu to some extent. That was what made him suitable as its jinchuuriki despite being older than most when they took up the burden — as Yagura had mentioned, he was an adult already, just a baby-faced one.

Tobi had been interested in seeing how his pawn would handle himself, so he had hung back. As Yagura approached, Isobu rose slowly out the bay, looking as docile and lulled into complacency as possible.

Then, Yagura stood before him, Isobu swallowed him whole and…

"What?!" Naruto burst out. "You… swallowed him?!"

Isobu fidgeted awkwardly. "Um, yes? Is that weird?"

Yes. "Is he okay?" Naruto wondered.

"Oh, of course," Isobu assured him.

"Come on, I swallowed you before, and you were fine," Son complained.

"I was just in your mouth," Naruto pointed out.

"I think I swallowed you too," Isobu added. "Maybe...?"

"Oh, yeah..." Naruto remembered, thinking back on that time with Guren and Yuukimaru.

"We don't eat, and we don't have any organs," Kokuou explained. "So swallowing something is more like putting it in a pouch. It's not harmful at all."

"More like the other way around," Kurama grumbled. "Urgh, those two freaks, my poor stomach…"

"Wait, what do you mean you don't eat? Like, ever?" Naruto asked his eyes squinting shut in confusion. "What about Ramen? Are you saying none of you have ever had Ramen?"

Kurama groaned.

"What's the point? We don't even have taste buds," Choumei pointed out.

"You shouldn't have gone there," Gyuuki muttered. "It's like B and his rap…"

"It's Ramen!" Naruto protested. "No wonder you're all so bad tempered, if you've never experienced the wonder of Ramen!"

He looked ready to go on another long spiel about his favorite food/religion, but Son yelled, "Aw, shut up! I want to hear how the rest of it goes!"

Obediently, the others fell silent, letting Isobu continue.

He had swallowed Yagura and, before Tobi could react, dived to the bottom of the lagoon, and then out to sea.

"Um, that's it, actually," Isobu said. "I'm just sitting there now. I gave Yagura some of my chakra, and I think it broke the genjutsu, but he passed out. What should I tell him when he wakes up?"

"You should tell him about the Mizukage being controlled too," Saiken said. "I've seen him through Utakata. I don't know if it's genjutsu or what, but it's been going on for a long time."

Utakata was the Sandaime Mizukage's young nephew. Saiken had been sealed into him early in the war, in hopes of creating a powerful weapon. The Sandaime was also the one responsible for the Bloody Mist reputation and the graduation exam Zabuza had told Naruto about back in Nami no Kuni, and overall a Very Bad Man.

"That must have been Madara, then," Naruto pointed out. "Cause Tobi only started in on this stuff a little while back."

Though Naruto didn't think of it, that point also raised some questions about Rin's fate and the choice to use her for Kiri's plan with Isobu. And whether the whole thing had been a set up by Madara.

"Should I tell him that I heard it from you?" Isobu wondered.

"Yeah, no point in hiding it," Saiken agreed.

"He probably won't believe you otherwise," Naruto added. "You should tell him about Kurama too, and what happened in Konoha, so he knows how dangerous Tobi is."

~.~.~

"So that's how it is," Yagura said, once he heard everything.

Inside Isobu turned out to be made of more Isobus of varying sizes, all stacked on top of each other. The one to give the explanation was yet another Isobu, this one only the size of a regular turtle.

Tiny Isobu bobbed his head. "Yeah, so be careful, okay? I'll let you off on the next island," he said.

"I'm in your debt, for freeing me from that man's genjutsu and for the information," Yagura said, bowing deeply.

"I-it wasn't anything," Isobu stammered, embarrassed. Having a one-eyed turtle monster, even if it was currently conveniently travel-sized, act like a shy school girl was surreal.

Yagura smiled. "It was very kind of you," he disagreed, "and it showed me something very important. Both of us are vulnerable to that masked man. Neither of us can stand against him alone. But... if we could help each other, like you did for me, we can at least escape his genjutsu."

Isobu waited, frozen in anticipation.

"I hate to go along with something that man planned," Yagura said, "but… Will you come with me? Will you… become my partner?"

~.~.~

"My name is Yagura. My hobby is flower viewing. I like camellias in particular. I hate traitors and being mistaken for a child. My dream is to wash away the bloody history of Kirigakure. Even though I'm only a beginner as Isobu's partner, I will do my best," Yagura said, finishing his introduction with a deep bow. Behind him, Isobu's tails waved happily, the turtle all but humming in contentment.

"Don't sweat it! You've got it!" Killer B assured him. "You and and your man Sanbi, already got the right way to be — friends, yeah!"

"That was more terrible than usual," Gyuuki sighed. "Quit embarrassing me. I can't take you anywhere…"

"My first time in this place, I gotta put on my serious face," B insisted.

"What part of that is serious?" Gyuuki grumbled.

"Thank you for your kind words, sempai," Yagura said politely.

"He's the complete opposite of you," Kurama noted to Naruto, off to the side. "How did that stupid low-rank turtle luck out so much?"

Naruto ignored him, cooing over the one year old Gaara. The tiny redhead happily toddled over to the teenager, who had crouched with open arms, and began patting his whiskered cheeks.

"You did it! You're so cool, Gaara-chan!" Naruto cheered. "Look at you! Walking all by yourself!"

"He figured it out himself too!" Shukaku boasted proudly. "And he can even use our sand to get things!"

"Shu-shu! Na-ru!" Gaara babbled, clapping his hands together. When Shukaku waved his tail in front of the little boy, he pushed himself to his feet and toddled after it. It wasn't his first time playing with the bijuu.

"That's it! I'm bringing Yugito next time!" Matatabi yowled. "Then you'll see! Mine is the best!"

"Is not," Isobu muttered, while Shukaku yelled something derogatory.

"It didn't used to be like this. We went centuries without speaking to each other!" Kurama grumbled, as the bijuu began to argue loudly. In some ways, they were just like any other set of siblings.

"That sounds," — lonely, Naruto wanted to say, but he knew Kurama would complain, — "boring."

"Yes…" Kurama admitted, "it was."

Things had gotten pretty crazy, ever since he met Naruto. But they had never been boring. And… they weren't lonely anymore either.

_______________________________________________

Notes: Whether there is a "maximum age" for jinchuuriki is an interesting question. For a long time, we thought that a newborn was necessary (thus, Minato's and the Kazekage's decisions), but that's blatantly untrue.

B was at least five. Yagura says he was an adult when he died (since Sanbi reformed after that by Shippuden, that means he died around Part I). The earliest he could have become a jinchuuriki was shortly after Naruto's birth (based on Sanbi reforming after Rin's death). So at the time, Yagura would have been, at youngest, eight, but possibly a teenager. Mito, of course, was an adult.

The other question regarding jichuuriki is why they die when the bijuu is extracted.

When training Naruto in wind chakra, Kakashi mentions that Naruto has four times as much chakra as he does. Then, he adds that if he didn't have to suppress the Kyuubi's chakra, Naruto would have a hundred times more. So the seal takes a lot of chakra to run. This is also the reason why Kushina's seal weakened - chakra was going to the baby instead of to the seal.

Judging by Kurama's flashbacks, the first time Naruto ever used his chakra was during the fight with Mizuki. Kurama specifically mentions having to force his chakra through the cracks in the seal for this. So before that fight, Naruto never used Kurama's chakra - at all.

So we can probably assume that jinchuuriki don't die because of the lack of the bijuu's chakra in their system. They don't use it normally, and if anything, they would have more chakra if they didn't need to keep the seals going.

One would assume that it's the trauma of having the seal ripped apart and the bijuu dragged out that makes their bodies shut down.

Thus, if they don't die right away, there's a chance they can get healed and recover. That's what happened with Kushina in this story. She got medical treatment, didn't exert herself fighting the Kyuubi, and with her Uzumaki vitality recovered just fine.