The Pain of Losing Someone... Again

In her first life, San Mei'er came from a world called Earth. She was a weak child from birth, and while still in infancy it was discovered that she had leukemia. Her entire life was in a hospital, either on the operating table or simply hospitalized.

Her only entertainment was playing games on her cell phone, and reading novels. She loved how the main characters went on adventures, how they met lots of people, tasted lots of food, and saw lots of places. She wanted that too! She wanted to see the world too! Why was the world so unfair? Why should she have to spend so much time in a hospital bed, suffer so much pain, need so many medicines while there were people out there who had health, a good family, and lived lamenting? Why was the world so unfair?

In the last months of her life, she didn't even have the strength to eat, speak or talk. When she was reborn, first she felt relief, but then she felt pain, a pain that seemed to want to rip her heart out of her chest with its bare hands.

Her parents... they fought so hard for her, for as long as she can remember, her parents were with her, supporting her, telling her that everything would get better... before she would have just died. But she was given a second chance, while her parents would surely be sunk in endless grief of losing their only daughter.

Still, as a newborn child, she cried all the time. Whether she was suckling, or watching everything around her, even sleeping. Her new parents did not know what the problem was, they took her to healers and nothing changed...

.

.

.

After being adopted by San Meili, however, her endless sadness was gone. She used to go to sleep every night crying, and one day, when she was four years old, San Meili was in his palace, which was rare in those days, since he was always away in who took care of her were the maids and her uncle, Xiao Lian.

San Meili came to her room and started talking to her. At first, she just listened, afraid of annoying the Demon Destroyer. She already knew about her foster father's stories; after all, maids like to gossip!

But when he began to tell about the mystical places he visited on his trip, the mystical creatures he saw, she became interested, more than that, her excitement rose to the heavens wondering if she could see these things too!

In an impulsive moment, she spoke in her high-pitched childish voice, "P-adoptive father, can I go next time with you too?!"

Looking at her with a surprised look that made San Mei'er break into a cold sweat as he realized his mistake, he smiled faintly and replied, "Of course, my little girl. But you are too weak for that... yet. So I will stay with you until you are strong enough for us to see this world together."

This answer surprised San Mei'er almost to death! Where is the ruthless demon everyone says he is? He even reminds a little of... his otherworldly father. Thinking of him, tears threatened to fall from San Mei'er's eyes.

Perhaps misunderstanding the reason for the tears, The Demon Destroyer despaired slightly, not knowing what to do. In the end, he decided to hug her, and say softly to the girl: "No need to cry, my little girl. I'll find a way for you to go without getting stronger. Or maybe you don't want me to stay here? Do I stink? Or maybe..."

San Mei'er interrupted San Meili's ramblings as she began to cry loudly while hugging him as tightly as she could, afraid that he would be gone, just as her Earth parents eventually left her life... her second life.

She didn't want to cry. Crying for her has always been synonymous with weakness, and if there is one thing she is not, it is weak! She is not, was not, and never will be!

Perhaps noticing her thoughts, San Meili said in the softest tone he could, "You can cry, silly girl, crying won't make you weak. The lack of emotions, yes, that is a weakness. After all, what's the point of living if it's not for the satisfaction, joy, sadness, anger, and happiness that we have in the course of our lives?"

It was as if a dam had burst at those words, and San Mei'er cried even harder, putting all her suppressed emotions out. And for the first time in four years, she was able to sleep peacefully in the embrace of her new father.

Back in the present, as she walked through the sect back to her home, San Mei'er remembered those moments fondly. She was no fool; she knew that everyone around her thought her father had died. But he didn't die! He promised!

"He promised...that he would stay with me until I was strong enough... I'm still not strong, he didn't die. He must have just gone walking around and forgot the time...yes, that was it. He didn't die, because if he did..." Murmuring these words into the moonless night, San Mei'er's bright eyes lost their luster and became completely lifeless. Her eyes now looked like two black holes, with endless darkness

"If he died... I will have no one..."

She didn't want to lose someone... not again.