A fractured couple
"So, let me get this straight. You went out yesterday at 10pm with the intention of drinking only a few drinks, chatting with some friends, and having a few light snacks."
"Yes, That is correct so far."
"Ok, so then tell me how, when I woke up today, I see you on the doorstep, dead drunk and with a note from a stranger saying that you had to pay $79 for their 'services'. The note described in detail what those 'services' were! You literally bought a prostitute for a night! Explain to me how that happened!"
"Umm… well-"
"No! I don't want to hear excuses! Damnit, I should've questioned you last night when you were more likely to give me better answers."
"Well, I'll willingly tell you if you'd just let me explain!"
"AND I'M TELLING YOU I DON'T WANT ANY EXCUSES!"
"AND IM TELLING YOU THAT YOU WON'T HEAR A SINGLE EXCUSE FROM ME IF YOU'D JUST LISTEN!"
"Well then, your answers, please."
"Get rid of that sarcasm and I might be inclined to tell you."
"Haaaah, fine… I promise I won't be sarcastic for the duration of this conversation."
"Ok, then please don't interrupt me when I'm explaining, since it can get quite annoying."
"Are you saying that I'm annoying?"
"WHAT? No way! I'm not saying you're annoying! I'd never say that! I'm saying that interruptions are annoying. And we're getting off track anyway. So yes, I did go out yesterday to get a few drinks with my friends. That part is true. What happened after is what you want to know, right?"
"Yes, get on with it."
"Getting snappy at me won't hurry me along, you know. Anyway, at around 11:30 we finished up the drinks and food, and decided to take a walk. A few friends had already left at that point, so it was just me and two others. So, we were walking aimlessly on the streets when one of my buddies pointed to somewhere they wanted to go, and we had no reason to refuse. The only thing he forgot to mention was that it was a place for prostitutes to hang out."
"Hah! So I WAS right! It WAS a prostitute! And you CHEATED on me! With a freaking PROSTITUTE!"
"No, I didn't. Just hear me out, without interrupting me, PLEASE!"
"Fine… No more interruptions from me."
"SO, when I found out that there were prostitutes there, I immediately turned heel and left. YOU'RE WELCOME. But my friends didn't follow me, and so I just left them there after trying for 10 minutes to persuade them to leave. I went to grab a taxi, but noticed that I didn't bring enough money with me, so I was left walking the streets. Henry showed up out of nowhere suddenly, and invited me to go drink, and who was I to refuse?"
"HENRY showed up? Yeah, ok, I can see where this is going. So he got you drunk, got an 'escort' to take you home, and they left a suspicious note because Henry seems to like trying to break us up."
"Umm… you got most of that correct."
"Well, what did I get INCORRECT? Hmm?"
"Well, umm, I actually did sleep with them…"
"YOU DID WHAT?"