Chapter 47: Confession

Zarah could not comprehend what was going on as her mind exploded the moment she felt Xavier's lips against hers.

She didn't realize that Xavier started attacking her mouth aggressively to the point that she could not breathe.

Xavier's kiss was overbearing and domineering. It overwhelmed her to the point that she felt she had lost her mind.

Zarah's tears subconsciously rolled down her cheeks and Xavier stopped kissing her the moment he felt the wetness on her face.

When he looked up, he saw that she was crying.

He retracted and he was immediately consumed by guilt. He freed her hand and looked at her.

"I'm sorry." He said and the next second, Zarah's slap landed on his face.

He did not do anything to dodge it. He accepted it.

Xavier wanted to reach out for her hand to comfort her but he changed his mind mid-way and dropped the attempt.

He got up and left leaving Zarah confused.

She should be mad, right? She did. She slapped him.

But then, when she saw the regret and pain reflected in Xavier's eyes, she felt a sudden pang in her chest.

Xavier left her confused. She could not understand what she was feeling.

As expected, Zarah became sleepless that night.

Good thing the next day was Saturday. She was not in the condition to report to the office. She was a mess and her mind was all over the place.

Should she confront and ask him about the kiss?

What if Xavier wouldn't want to talk about it? He left without any explanation after all.

Zarah heard someone knocking on her door and so she decided to get up from her bed and opened the door.

She thought it was Julie and so she didn't bother looking at who it was.

But then strong arms wrapped around her waist and she was suddenly backed against a strong wall.

Zarah could tell who it was without even checking who.

"I'm sorry." She could hear the pain in Xavier's voice.

She tried to look up but he stopped her. Xavier did not want Zarah to see how messy his face was.

"Don't."

"Why are you doing this?" Zarah asked him and Xavier only replied, "Isn't it obvious?"

"Obvious how?"

"You're very special to me Zarah. I have been in love with you all these years that we're apart."

Cole told him to take Zarah out on a date and confess there. But he could not wait after being sleepless again last night.

His level of anxiety had shot through the roof.

He didn't want to let Zarah be alone with her emotions and might misunderstand his actions.

Zarah had been trying to remember about this but she couldn't and it frustrated her.

"I don't think I can give you a response, Xavier. I know this is unfair to you but I still can't remember any of this."

She said and Xavier nodded softly.

"I know. That's why if this feeling that I have is going to burden you, then, I'll better stop this."

'What?'

Xavier went to his room to think about what happened. He was happy to finally kiss Zarah.

Yet he thought he was being selfish. What if she didn't like what he did that was why she slapped him?

What if she had no feelings for him? That slap was kind of a rejection to him. The kiss was his confession and she slapped him so it meant that she had no feelings for him.

He knew he messed up because he made his emotions control him.

"It'll be hard for me. I tried to forget you while we were apart but I failed. And it would be hard for me to do so if I'll see you every day. So I came here to say goodbye." Xavier continued.

'Wait, what?' Zarah's mind felt like it was being bombed by Xavier's words.

She could not understand why the more she listened, the more her heart felt like bleeding.

Xavier was going to leave? Why?!

No! She's not going to let that happen. But she'd be selfish to want him to stay when her presence was hurting him, too.

"You're leaving?"

"I have to," Xavier answered firmly.

He didn't want to let her know at first but he thought it was better to clarify everything as he didn't want to have regrets.

"Why?"

"Zarah. You're making it hard for me." He said in a pleading tone.

"Don't leave." She said which stunned Xavier.

"You don't want me to leave? Why?" He asked her. He was unsure of what to feel about this.

Zarah was also unsure why she didn't want Xavier to leave.

Those three weeks were enough to make her feel that she could not let this man go.

Xavier on the other hand didn't want to raise his hopes. He didn't want to feel rejection twice in a row.

"You said you loved me. But have you ever considered what I feel?"

"I am considering it that's why I'm doing this. I do not want to force myself on you Zarah." Xavier then sighed and continued.

"I know you hated it when someone's trying to dictate to you what to do."

"And do you think making this decision for me would help?" She said which made Xavier helpless.

"Zarah."

Zarah tried her best to turn around and look at his face.

And she managed to free herself from his hug and was able to face him.

She instantly regretted what she had done earlier after seeing how pitiful Xavier looked.

"Don't leave. The company needs you. I--"

Xavier chuckled after hearing this and so he didn't let her finish and cut her off.

Ah! So she was worried about the company.

Zarah was scared to say the words because she was still unsure.

"Hmmm. Don't worry. I'll still monitor the company through Elliott. I'll be visiting from time to time to make sure that it won't go bankrupt under my watch."

"You did not even let me finish, moron."

Xavier was confused now.

"I don't want you to go not only because of the company. I just don't want you to go. Yes. I'm confused right now. I might need some time to think about everything that had been happening. I have to make sure."

Time. All she needed was time.

Less than a month ago, she thought she was head over heels in love with Josh. And now, she thought that she liked Xavier.

She had been conditioning her mind that she would not be Xavier's woman. But why would she not want him to leave? Unless she had secretly felt something for Xavier.

He was handsome, very kind, and very considerate of her feelings. Who would not fall for those qualities?

That would explain everything. That would explain why she did not want him to leave. That would explain why she was so affected by everything that was going on.

She was even unsure if she could take seeing Xavier with another woman other than those women that she knew.

Was her heart always like this when it came to love? Easy to be swayed by a man?

She didn't have any answer to her question.

"What are you trying to say, Zarah?"

"What I'm saying is just stay. Just stay with me and help me understand what I'm feeling right now."

"What feeling is that?" He asked her.

"I don't know. I'm confused. Three weeks ago, I ended things with Josh completely. I thought of giving my heart a break. That night at the villa, when I entered your room, I heard how you mentioned my name and said that you loved me while you were for sure pleasuring yourself."

Xavier felt a little embarrassed by this. She heard him and knew what he was doing inside the shower! Was this the reason why she was acting up and started becoming defensive and kept calling him "brother" in front of other people?

"You don't understand. I was nursing a wounded heart. And then I heard that you liked me. I got pretty scared. Honestly, I wanted you to forget those feelings. I thought I was protecting you and myself. I thought this was nothing. But I think it backfired on me, yeah?" Zarah ranted and Xavier willingly listened.

"But when I called and learned that you were at a strippers club last night. I got upset. I know I have no right to act like that remember? I was busy trying to make your bride-to-be list so you'd put your attention to others for the past two weeks as I was trying to avoid you. So why did I feel annoyed after hearing your cousin say that you were looking for someone to hook up with last night at the stripper's bar? Why?!"

Xavier gulped hard as he continued listening to her rant. But one thing came up to his mind.

"Zarah, are you jealous?"

"Jealous?"

Yes. That was the term that she did want to recognize as feelings should be involved to make someone jealous. She did feel jealous when Josh cheated on her with Natalie.

However, this type of jealousy was more intense compared to the past.

Days ago, she was confident that she had no feelings for Xavier. That her mental conditioning to not like him worked. Little did she know that Xavier had successfully entered her heart little by little that she felt she was infected by a bug.

Everything that he did affect her so much. She kept on thinking about him to the point that she would lose focus.

Just now when she heard him saying that he would leave her instead, she realized that she had feelings for Xavier. She liked him.

However, she knew that it was not enough to make him stay.

She thought that Xavier would only laugh at her should she confess that she felt something for him. It happened so fast that she was caught off guard.

"Yes. Jealous. I felt it when I saw you with Josh. I wanted to punch him in the face but had to hold back as I had no right to do so. You were dating him. And you seemed very in love. I was willing to let go of my feelings for the sake of your happiness. But when I found out that you'd broken up, my hopes skyrocketed." Xavier gave a long explanation.

Zarah was speechless by the amount of pain in his words. He seemed to be holding this pain for a long time.

"Zarah, let me court you. I'll help you understand what you felt for me." Xavier proposed.

"Are you sure? It might take me some time to understand my feelings. It may take a year." She challenged him.

"Zarah. I was close to giving up because I thought my feelings were hopeless. However, you gave me a reason to believe again. So let me... Let me pursue you exclusively, Zarah."

At least he would be comfortable knowing that she won't be around other men. It's a win-win for him.

"I've waited for four years just to be with you again. A year or two won't harm me. I know your amnesia messed up our chance. I made you like me before, therefore, I'm confident that I'll make you like me now."

"So, you won't be leaving?" She went back to the topic.

"Only if you agree to my courtship."

Zarah didn't hesitate as this might be what her heart wanted in the first place.

"Okay. I'll agree. But I'm not easy to please." She tried to warn him but it was useless.

"I know. I will never fall for an easy woman." Xavier meaningfully said his remark and Zarah felt like giggling.

Xavier hugged her and Zarah did not resist this time.

"Good thing I came to see you first before I leave this mansion for good as it saved me from a misunderstanding. It saved me from a broken heart."

"Were you really serious about leaving?"

"Yes. My suitcases are already in the car. Rupert and Chris are waiting for me outside."

Zarah could not believe that this man was indeed serious.

Maybe she had pushed him so hard.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." She softly said.

"Don't be. It's my fault after all. I decided to love you. Therefore, I should be prepared to get hurt."

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