2. Chapter 2

AN: You guys are amazing! I am humbled by the interest that I've received thus far and I hope that I don't disappoint! I apologize if this seems like a filler chapter. I wanted to show the nature of Darcy and Richard's relationship. Besides I love Col Fitzwilliam and he is so fun to write!

Enjoy!

March 1812

Chapter 1

Darcy sat at his desk in his London townhome surrounded by correspondence, mostly consisting of invitations for the London Season.

"Why do they persist in inviting me to these confounded events? I never attend, nor am I about to," Darcy grumbled.

Frustrated, Darcy impatiently pushed the pile to the side of his desk, causing several to fall to the floor. Sitting back in his chair he ran his fingers through his already disheveled hair.

Another year and still she hadn't come. Darcy had faithfully attended every Twelfth Night Ball, but one since he turned 18 years of age. He was not expecting to meet her in those early years when he was still green, marriage and courtship the last thing on his mind. But after he had graduated from Cambridge and became Master of Pemberly he had expected her to show up. He went to the blasted ball every year, why couldn't she!

Darcy paused his internal ranting, remembering the one time he hadn't attended. He had missed the ball 5 years ago as his father had just passed away and he had not been in a festive mood.

What if that was when he was supposed to meet her? He had been 22 and had just graduated from Cambridge. "What if I missed my chance?" Not for the first time Darcy lamented not asking his mother more particulars about the circumstances of him meeting her. The only thing she had said was she would be at his Aunt Matlock's Twelfth Night Ball. Darcy realized that she hadn't said that was where he would meet her. He groaned, running his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends. It was getting too long, he should have his valet cut it.

So where was she? It had become apparent quickly that she could not be a member of the ton. After 8 years of intermingling with the simpering, swooning debutantes he realized he could never love one of them. Their sycophantic posturing disgusted him. The only thing worse than the ladies were their mothers. Darcy shuddered. No, she was not one of them.

He had been so hopeful this year. That this year she would come. Darcy pushed himself to his feet and began pacing in front of his desk. Stopping in front of the window, he gazed out to the rain drenched garden. How fitting that the weather should reflect his mood.

It was in this manner that his cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam found him.

Pausing in the doorway he took in the scene before him. Darcy was standing in front of the window gazing outside. Hands behind his back, a grave, no grim expression on his face. Richard smiled to himself. His cousin was predictable to a fault.

Sighing, Richard walked into the room much in the way of a soldier entering a battlefield. He had something very important to say to Darcy and he knew that he would have to tread very carefully to prevent Darcy from shutting down completely.

Darcy turned from the window at his cousin's approach.

"Richard, this is an unexpected surprise." Darcy smiled in welcome. Richard noticed it didn't reach his eyes.

Settling himself in one of the armchairs by the fire he stretched his long legs out in front of him, resting his hands on his stomach. "Not unwelcome I hope."

"Please, make yourself comfortable Richard," Darcy dryly stated.

"I always do, cousin." Richard grinned up at Darcy. "Please sit Darcy, my neck can't take the strain."

Darcy sat down across from Richard with a huff. "Why do I get the feeling I am about to be interrogated?"

"Darcy, I don't interrogate, I intimidate." Darcy glared at his cousin. "When has that ever worked with me, Richard?"

"Never," he honestly stated, "But that's never stopped me from trying."

Darcy leaned forward in his chair towards Richard. "Before you ask Richard, no, she did not come." Darcy leaned back and waited for the inevitable dialogue. It had become routine these past years. The nature of Richard's work with the Army prevented him from coming home often. In the past 7 years he had been in London once during Christmas and his mother's Twelfth Night Ball.

"I know."

"What do you mean, you know?"

Richard rolled his eyes. "Darcy, if you had found your lady love I don't think I would have found you glowering in the corner."

"I don't glower Richard."

"Of course you don't."

"Why did I ever confide in you?" Darcy had shared with Richard what his mother had told him and shown him the two pictures shortly after his father had died.

"If I had a pound for every time you said that I would not need to risk life and limb for kin and country."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated Richard, I assure you. I am assuming there is a reason for your visit?" Darcy was starting to lose patience and that didn't bode well for their conversation.

"Do I need a reason to visit my favorite cousin?" Richard smiled benignly at Darcy.

"Georgiana is your favorite cousin, Richard, and you're prevaricating."

Richard sighed, sitting up and placing his hands on his knees. Maybe he should wait until his cousin wasn't in such a foul mood. Richard gazed steadily at his cousin. Darcy had been his dearest friend and confidant since childhood. There was nothing he would not do for him. He could not watch him spiral downward in misery. Besides, he had promised Georgiana. No, he could not wait any longer.

Bracing himself, he quietly said, "We're worried about you."

"Who's we?" Darcy was stunned. Of all the things he was expecting Richard to say, that certainly had not been one of them.

"Georgiana and myself, of course."

"I'm fine." Darcy said curtly. Standing up he went over to his desk and began absentmindedly going through his stacks of correspondence.

"Now who's prevaricating." Richard stood and joined him at the front of his desk. Placing both hands on the desk, he said "You need to listen to what I have to say. Please."

Darcy looked up. Seeing the earnest and worried expression in his cousin's eyes caused him to pause. Richard had been the only person he had fully trusted to confide his mother's secret. To Richard's credit, he hadn't doubted for one moment what Darcy had told him so many years ago. Since then, he had been nothing but supportive and encouraging. It was due to Richard that Darcy hadn't succumbed to hopelessness long ago.

"Very well Richard," Darcy conceded. "We might as well be comfortable." Gesturing to the chairs by the fire, Darcy moved to sit. Richard quickly followed but soon stood and began pacing.

Darcy waited. He knew he probably would not like whatever Richard had to say. Darcy was a very private person, rarely sharing his thoughts and feelings with anyone. He hadn't been so open with someone since his...mother. Darcy quickly stopped that line of thought. He needed to focus on Richard right now.

"Darcy..." Richard began, then stopped running a hand through his hair.

It amused Darcy that Richard was nervous. Richard was never nervous. He was the most confident individual he had ever met.

"Just spit it out Richard if it's so unpleasant."

Richard sat down and leaned casually back in his chair, his posture the exact opposite of his cousin's upright and stiff pose.

"Here's the thing, Darcy," Richard began. "Outwardly you appear to be fine. You are a perfect example of decorum, responsibility, and duty. Your father would be proud."

"I'm confused Richard. If I'm fine, then what are you and Georgiana so worried about?"

"I said outwardly, you are fine. We are concerned for your emotional health."

"My emotional health?" Darcy repeated, shocked.

Richard solemnly nodded then continued. "You are starting to shut me and Georgiana out Darcy. She says that you have barely spoken to her since Mother's ball."

Darcy stood and began pacing. He felt angry, angry at Richard for prying into his life. But he also felt remorse and guilt. He had shut out Georgiana. He hadn't wanted to vent his frustrations out on her. He cared about her too much to let her see this side of him.

"Darcy, you are merely existing. When are you going to start to live?"

"What?" Darcy was astounded. "What do you mean, I am merely existing? I live my life each day, just like everyone else."

"No, you do not." Shaking his head, Richard stood and joined Darcy. Placing a hand on his shoulder he said, "When was the last time you left this house for any other reason then to conduct business or ferry Georgiana about town?"

Darcy took a minute to think. When was the last time he had left the house? A minute went by, then two as Darcy silently stood considering his cousin's observation.

"Darcy, I know that you are frustrated that another Twelfth Night Ball has passed and she hasn't come. But did you ever stop to consider that maybe you were not meant to meet her at the ball? I don't think your mother intended for you to just sit back and wait for her to make an appearance. What are you doing to find her?"

Richard watched as an array of emotions played across Darcy's face; anger, sadness, grief, and finally realization.

"I did consider that Richard. I realized that mother hadn't said I would meet her at a ball, just that she saw her there."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

Darcy threw up his hands in exasperation. "What am I supposed to do Richard? Go door to door, place her picture in the Times with a request to come at her earliest convenience?"

Richard laughed. "Nothing so extreme cousin. You could try attending some of those balls and dinners." Richard pointed to the impressive stack of invitations on Darcy's desk.

Darcy looked at his cousin incredulously. "I am not amused Richard. When have I ever attended any event of the season?"

"Exactly!" Richard exclaimed. "Which brings me to another acute observation."

"And I'm breathlessly waiting." Darcy was not in the mood for this. He wanted to go talk to Georgiana and apologize for his behavior these past few weeks. Besides, this line of questioning was making him uncomfortable. He didn't like it when Richard delved into his emotional state. Nothing good could come of it he was sure.

"I spoke to my mother last night, and do you know what she said?"

Darcy didn't say anything, knowing Richard would continue.

Richard leaned forward. "She said that invitations to her Twelfth Night Ball have become more valuable than a voucher at Almacks!"

Darcy's eyebrows raised slightly. "Oh? That is...interesting."

"Isn't it? And do you want to know why?" Richard had the silliest grin on his face. He was enjoying this far too much.

"I don't have a clue what you are referring to Richard. Please get to the point."

Richard grin grew even wider if that was possible. "You," he simply stated. Leaning back in his chair he waited.

"What do you mean, me?"

"For someone so intelligent, you are really very slow today."

Darcy pinched the bridge of his nose suddenly feeling very tired. He could feel the start of a headache coming on.

"Richard, as amusing as this conversation is becoming, I really have things I need to do."

"Like what? As much time as you spend in this study, I can guarantee you have no pressing matters. Besides, you will want to hear this."

"Go on, explain to me how I am the cause of your mother's ball becoming so popular."

"Let me ask you a question first."

Darcy nodded for him to go on. "When was the last time you attended any social event besides my mother's Twelfth Night Ball?"

Without hesitation, Darcy responded, "Bingley's dinner party last November."

"Let me rephrase that question. When was the last time you attended any social event during the Season?"

Darcy huffed, "You already know the answer to that Richard. Never. I have never attended any event of the social season."

Richard smirked. "That is why my mother's ball is so popular."

Richard watched as Darcy put together what was so blatantly obvious.

Darcy processed what Richard had just shared. Why in the world should he make such a difference? He was pleased to hear that Aunt Matlock's ball was so popular. He knew that she loved to entertain and she had always been the consummate hostess.

Darcy frowned. This last ball had been a trifle uncomfortable. It had been a crush, so many people, too many people really. And for one who did not enjoy balls, the overabundance of people was insupportable. He remembered when the ball had been much more intimate; relegated to close friends and of course, family. Now it was anything but. He had noticed an increase of invites the last 4 or 5 years. Darcy rubbed his jaw. He had been afraid that the increase of people would make it harder to find her. He had even foregone dancing this past ball in fear that he would miss finding her, not that it had made any difference, he thought bitterly.

What had really irked him was the simpering misses, all vying for his attention. It had been sickening really not to mention the open flirting that had been displayed by both the daughters and even some of their mothers. Despite his repeatedly stating his desire to not dance, they had flocked to him all throughout the night trying to coerce him to dance through subtle and not so subtle means. He had actually contemplated leaving early when it had been apparent that she wasn't going to show up.

"Figured it out yet?" Richard's query interrupted Darcy's thoughts.

"I don't understand Richard, what this has to do with my so called emotional health?"

"Believe it or not, I am trying to help you."

"Then help me and stop speaking in riddles!"

"Very well, I will speak plainly. Darcy, would you say that you are a...how shall I put it, a catch?"

"Richard, please what does my eligibility have to do with anything?"

"I'm getting to that. Now answer the question. Are you a catch?"

Exasperated, Darcy replied, "Yes, I suppose I could be considered a catch."

"Very good. Now are you willing to be ah...caught?"

"Of course not! I am not interested in any of those fluttering floozies! When she shows up I will pursue her, court her and marry her."

"Of that I have no doubt Darcy. But do those ah...fluttering floozies know that you are not willing to be caught?"

"I have never given any of them that idea. If they persist in pursuing me they will only end up disappointed."

"My point exactly Darcy. You are an enigma.. A mystery that they are all wanting to unlock. There are bets you know about when you will show interest in one of them."

"What?! You have got to be joking Richard. There is no way I could generate that much interest to warrant something so, so degrading!" Darcy was incensed. When had his private life become fodder for idle men to speculate on? This was why he didn't attend events during the season.

"Calm down Darcy," Richard held his hands up in a conciliatory manner. "It happens all the time, this is nothing new."

"That doesn't make it right, Richard!"

"No, it does not. But it happens and it will continue to happen. But that is besides the point. The point, my dear cousin is you only pop up from your self imposed exile once every year." Richard stopped, wanting Darcy to put it together.

He didn't disappoint. "Are you saying that the reason your mother's ball is so well attended every year is because it is the only event I attend and the ton want to, how did you put it, unlock the mystery that is Fitzwilliam Darcy?"

"Ah, my faith in your intelligence has been restored."

"This is a nightmare, Richard! Why can't they just leave me alone?"

"Because you are young, handsome, rich, and most importantly, available."

"But I'm not, not really." Darcy responded quietly.

"I know that, you know that, but they don't. The idea of you is too fantastic to give up. Each of those young women are convinced that they are the one meant for you. Until you actually choose one of them, the pursuit will continue. And it will get worse. There are more young misses coming out every year."

"I can't help that Richard. I can only continue to remain apart as I have always done."

"Which brings me back to my original point. You don't know that you will meet your future wife at the Twelfth Night Ball. You admit that your mother did not say you would meet her there, only that she saw her there."

Darcy nodded, "Go on."

"So, here is what I think. I believe that events will transpire that will lead you to invite her to mother's ball yourself." At Darcy's surprised look, Richard held up a hand forestalling him from interrupting. "And in order to do that, you need to be seen. You need to start attending those contemptible events. You never know when one of them will lead you to her. You need to take the initiative Darcy. Like I said before I don't think your mother anticipated you sitting around waiting for her to arrive."

Darcy ran his hands through his hair, he really needed to get it cut. "You may be right, Richard. But what if I've already messed up? What if I was supposed to meet her last year? Or the year I didn't attend due to father's death?" Darcy voiced his fears for the first time.

"Don't think like that Darcy. Your mother said she would come when the time was right."

"So how do I know the time is right? Why now?"

"Well that depends on you." At his cousin's confused look, he said, "Maybe fate is waiting for you to take a hand in your own destiny. Do you have the faith to make this a reality? How much do you want it? You have two choices Darcy. You can continue like you have been, attend my mother's Twelfth Night Ball every January, fall in a depression for months after, sequestering yourself away from everyone and everything, or you can take control of your destiny. Fortune favors the brave Darcy! Get out there and find her!"

Darcy slumped against the seat, feeling defeated, "You're right Richard. I can't continue like this. It isn't fair to you and especially Georgiana."

Darcy stood and went back to his desk. Staring down at the stack of invitations, he cringed. Could he really do this? He had avoided these events like the plague for a reason. At the time, his reasoning seemed justified. He didn't need to attend the events of the season. He already knew who he would marry. He would attend his aunt's annual ball, she would be there and things would proceed as things generally did-courtship, then marriage. It was difficult to see so clearly now the flaw in this plan.

"It's really not so bad cousin." Richard came and stood next to him. "It's like a loose tooth. It hurts something fierce when you first pull it, but then the pain is gone."

Richard looked at Darcy. "Pull the tooth cousin. It will get easier."

Darcy took a deep breath, reached for the stack and started to go through them. He quickly sorted them into two piles, one for dinners and the other for balls.

"I think it makes more sense to attend a few balls. More people." Richard gestured toward the smaller pile.

"I suppose. Which ones, though? And don't you say all of them Richard. There is a limit to my forbearance."

"How about we start with, say, three?" Richard suggested.

"Very well. Three it is." Darcy quickly went through the invites to balls, shaking his head. He tossed them all down on the desk. "You choose, it makes no difference to me."

"Hmmm...let's see." Richard quickly went through the stack. "I wouldn't attend Morton's ball unless I had no other options." He quickly eliminated two others. That left 8. He fanned them like playing cards and held them up to Darcy. "Choose three."

"So we're really going to leave fate in my hands?" Darcy quipped.

Smiling, Richard responded, "I have faith in you cousin."

Taking a deep breath, Darcy quickly choose three. Handing them to Richard he went and sat behind his desk. Pulling out his calendar he asked, "So, what do we have?"

After putting the dates of the balls in his calendar, he shut it and looked up at Richard. He was smirking. He sat across from Darcy with his hands laced behind his head.

"Pleased are we?"

"Very."

"I am sorry that I have been so difficult. I didn't mean for my behavior to affect you and Georgiana so much."

"You're forgiven. Although it might take a little more groveling on your part before Georgiana forgives you."

"I'll go talk to her right now. Thank you for being such a good friend Richard. I really do appreciate it."

"Think nothing of it cousin. Be happy, that's all I ask."

Standing up he headed towards the door. At the door he turned saying, "Oh and Darcy, you will be expected to dance at these balls, and be sociable. You might want to brush up on your social skills." With a smile and a wink in his astonished cousin's direction he took his leave.

"What did I just get myself into?" Darcy murmured to himself. Shaking his head he left his study to go find and apologize to Georgiana. He had some groveling to do.