23. Chapter 23

Chapter 22

Nothing but the deepest love could induce Elizabeth Bennet to willingly sit for lengthy periods of time and embroider. She was currently embroidering a handkerchief for Mr Darcy's upcoming birthday. The one benefit of engaging in such a mundane task was it allowed Elizabeth to think. And the direction of her thoughts inevitably dwelt on her Mr Darcy.

She had never been so happy. Until now, she had been perfectly content with her life. Despite her mother's censure, she had no cause to complain. She knew she was loved and valued by those closest to her, and it was enough. She never felt that anything was missing; until, Mr Darcy entered her life, turning her world upside down. He made her reexamine everything she thought she knew and believed about life and love. Before Mr Darcy, she had been resigned to her inevitable fate of remaining single and alone. She had admitted to no one, not even Jane that she secretly dreamed and longed to find the deepest, the truest of loves. She never truly believed such a love was meant for her.

Until now.

Her reconciliation with Mr Darcy was a life changing moment for Elizabeth. Never again would she doubt his regard or his intentions. She had not realized she lived in a constant state of fear that he would end their courtship, leave her without a second thought. She had allowed her mother's opinions and lies to cloud her judgment and her heart.

Never again.

Elizabeth knew it would take time to expel her mother's acerbic words from her heart and mind; half a lifetime of lies would not be purged overnight. But Mr Darcy's love would shine the way through the lingering darkness in her soul and allow her to heal. She had made the conscious decision to trust him, implicitly and without reservation. Never before had she the courage to let go of her long held insecurities and fear. But the moment Mr Darcy tore her mother's letter would forever stand as a pivotal turning point in her life. She could let go and refuse to allow her mother's words and opinions to poison her mind and heart.

Elizabeth suddenly hissed, sucking her finger after pricking the offending digit yet again. With a huff, she lowered the linen to her lap and glared at the bright red drop of blood on the end of her finger. She would have to wait to resume her stitching until it stopped or risk staining the delicate fabric. She looked up and met Jane's amused smile.

"It's not funny, Jane. At the rate I am going, I will never finish in time." Elizabeth sat back inelegantly, casually tossing her work to the side.

"Lizzy, you have already completed one, it is you that insists on embroidering three handkerchiefs for Mr Darcy." Jane said as she reached for her work basket.

"Maybe I should buy something instead," Elizabeth mused.

Jane smiled indulgently at her sister, knowing that she had already bought something for Mr Darcy's birthday. "A man likes to receive something homemade from the woman he loves, Lizzy."

Elizabeth raised a brow. "Indeed? And how, pray, would you know that, dear sister?"

Jane blushed a bright red, busying herself with finding a particular colored thread; keeping her head averted from her sister's keen gaze. She knew what her sister wanted. Elizabeth had been relentless since their conversation Saturday last, trying to ascertain her feelings for a certain, handsome Colonel.

Jane sighed. She didn't know why she was being deliberately evasive. There was nothing to tell. She looked up, and instantly regretted it. Elizabeth looked much too eager, a wide grin on her face, eyes dancing with expectation. Jane scowled at her sister.

Elizabeth laughed. "Jane. I don't know why you are avoiding the topic. I know that you are conflicted, and I want to help."

Elizabeth stood, moving to sit beside her sister. Taking her hand, she said, "You have always been there for me, Jane. I am indebted to you for helping me realize my feelings for Mr Darcy. Let me help you as you've helped me. Talk to me." In a softer tone, she pleaded, "Please."

Jane gazed at the earnest expression on her sister's face and sighed, resigned. "Very well. I do need to talk about it. I have thought about it so much, that I can't make any sense of it all!"

Elizabeth's eyes brightened, "Thought about what, exactly? I confess I have been so absorbed in my own love affair that I haven't paid much attention to yours." Elizabeth said with chagrin, "Forgive me, Jane."

Jane smiled at her sister, studying her features. Ever since Sunday last, when Mr Darcy had come to visit, she had noticed subtle changes in Elizabeth's demeanor and it made her heart rejoice. Elizabeth had always been a happy soul, quick to laugh and find amusement in the follies of others. But now, there was a lightness to her laughter, her eyes shone more brilliantly; undetectable, but to those who knew and loved her. She knew that whatever had occurred in the garden that Sunday afternoon had made a significant impact on how Elizabeth viewed herself and she thanked God and Mr Darcy for it.

"Don't be silly, Lizzy. I am so happy for you. You deserve to have a man like Mr Darcy in your life."

Elizabeth bit her lip, blushing. Her mind wandering to that gentleman. Shaking her head, she refocused her attention on her sister and asked, "So? Tell me about Colonel Fitzwilliam. I have noticed that your sarcastic comments about that gentleman have ceased these past few weeks."

Jane looked down, idly toying with a piece of blue thread. "Yes. I realized that trying to find fault with him did not have the desired effect."

Elizabeth raised a brow. "Which is?"

Jane sighed heavily and said hesitantly, "To convince myself that I didn't...like him."

Elizabeth grinned. "You only like him, Jane? Are you sure you're not feeling a deeper emotion?"

Jane looked at her sister, a thoughtful expression on her face. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course," Elizabeth replied without hesitation.

"How do you know you love Mr Darcy?"

"Jane," admonished Elizabeth. "You're not going to divert me by talking about Mr Darcy."

"No, I really want to know. I think it would help me, Lizzy. Truly." Jane pleaded.

Elizabeth nodded. "Very well." She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "I suppose it is different for everyone, but for me, I feel...complete when I am with him. As if he is the other half of my soul. From the very beginning of our acquaintance, I felt an undeniable connection between us that has only grown stronger with time."

With a far off look, and a soft smile, she continued. "I feel that I can be myself around him, and he accepts me for who I am. He sees me, Jane; my faults and weaknesses, but also my strengths. With him, I know I will become who I was meant to be."

Elizabeth refocused her gaze on her sister, noting Jane's gaze was fixed steadfastly on her. Blushing, she added, "And my heart races whenever I am in his presence and I feel that I can never take a full breath when he is near. And when he smiles..." Elizabeth trailed off, a dazed look on her face. Jane's laughter snapped her out of her trance-like state and she blushed a deeper red. Clearing her throat, she asked, "Does that help?"

Jane looked at her sister, a soft smile on her face. Ignoring her sister's question she said, "You are happy, Lizzy. Happier than I have ever seen you. It warms my heart to see you so."

Elizabeth laughed. "Yes, I am happy, Jane." With a pointed look, she said, "But you're distracting me again. What do you feel for the Colonel?"

Jane was silent as she contemplated her sister's question. She shrugged her shoulders, "I think it is too soon to admit that I love him, but..." she trailed off, blushing. "I do feel that I am in danger of losing my heart to him completely."

Elizabeth squealed, reaching over to embrace her sister. "Oh, Jane! You don't know how happy that makes me! The Colonel is a wonderful man; kind, courageous, amiable, humorous." With a sly look at her sister, she added, "extremely handsome."

Jane laughed. "Yes, he is all those things. I thought before that he could never be serious, but I was wrong."

"Tell me," Elizabeth said with an eager expression.

"You know that I have always resented men for only seeing my outer beauty; not bothering to find out what lies beneath my pretty face."

Elizabeth sobered. "Yes. I do know, Jane. But the Colonel is not like most men, am I right?"

Jane smiled and shook her head, her eyes shining. "No. For the first time I feel that a man sees me, Lizzy. The real me, not just the calm, serene person that I present to the world. He sees past all that, and draws me out of my reserved shell."

Jane blushed, saying, "It's like you said, Lizzy. I feel that I can be myself around him, and he accepts me. He doesn't just treat me like a pretty face, but an individual with opinions of her own."

"And the Colonel? Do you think his heart is engaged?"

Jane took a deep breath. "I can't say for certain. There are times when he looks at me in a certain way, that I can barely breathe, Lizzy! But then, it's as if he closes a door on his true feelings and his expression becomes guarded." Hesitantly, she said, "It's like he's afraid of letting his admiration show. But why? What is he so afraid of?" Jane cried.

Elizabeth grabbed Jane's hand, squeezing it gently, she said, "Maybe he is afraid of rejection. I think all men need a little encouragement, Jane. Even a courageous Colonel of the King's Army."

Jane looked down, her brow furrowed. Hesitantly, she asked, "You think I should be more open in my regard towards the Colonel? What if I am wrong, Lizzy? What if he doesn't think of me in that way?"

Elizabeth bit her lip, trying to find the right words. "Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. Follow your heart, Jane. The question you need to ask is whether the Colonel is worth taking a risk, knowing that it may end with a broken heart."

Jane stared at her sister, contemplating her words. Slowly she nodded her head. "Thank you Lizzy. You have given me much to think on."

Elizabeth squeezed her sister's hand. "I think that the Colonel cares for you a great deal, Jane. I don't know why he is hesitant in acting on his feelings, but I am sure there is a very good reason. Be open with him, Jane. Give him some encouragement and then hope and pray that he is not an idiot and walks away from the greatest blessing he could hope to receive in this life."

Jane stared at her sister in shock before bursting into laughter. "Lizzy!" she gasped.

Elizabeth joined her sister in laughter. "Well, it's true! His greatest achievement would be to secure your affection. He's an idiot if he walks away from you, Jane."

Jane wiped tears of mirth from her eyes. Shaking her head, she replied, "Well, then let's hope he's not an idiot."

"Maybe a little competition would force him to act?" Elizabeth suggested, with a raised brow.

"I'm not going to win him by making him jealous, Lizzy." Jane argued.

"Of course not! But what if someone else showed interest? And then we would see just how serious he is."

"Or not," mumbled Jane under her breath.

Elizabeth shook her head, "Don't be ridiculous, Jane! Of course he is. He may just need a little push in the right direction. There is nothing like a friendly competition to liven things up."

Jane gave her sister a pointed look. "Like with Mr Darcy and Sir Reginald?"

Elizabeth blanched. "Oh. Well, that was never really a competition, Jane. You know that."

"And neither is this, Lizzy," Jane said with certainty. "I can't imagine feeling this way about anyone else."

Softly, Elizabeth said, "You really do care for him, don't you, Jane?"

Jane nodded, a slow smile suffusing her face. "I do, Lizzy. I like him very much, indeed."

Elizabeth sighed happily. "Well, maybe Mr Darcy and I can persuade the Colonel to declare himself."

"Don't you dare, Elizabeth Bennet!" Jane cried.

Elizabeth laughed, "Rest easy, Jane. Things will work out, you'll see."

FEFEFEFEFEFEFEFEFEFE

"Thank you, Mrs Fletcher. You have been a tremendous help." Darcy smiled at his long time housekeeper.

Darcy was planning a dinner in celebration for his birthday the following week with the assistance of his very capable housekeeper. Not for the first time, he wished that Georgiana was older and felt confident enough to undertake such things. Soon, Elizabeth would take over the management of his households. Their households. His heart quickened at the thought, a small smile gracing his features. He looked up to see an amused, longsuffering look on Mrs Fletcher's face.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Fletcher, did you say something?"

Trying to hide her smile, Mrs Fletcher responded, "I asked if you had the final guest list finalized, sir."

"Almost. I am still waiting to hear from a few people. I should know within the next day or so."

"Very good, sir. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?"

Darcy shook his head. "No, that will be all, Mrs Fletcher. Thank you again for your assistance."

Mrs Fletcher blushed at her master's praise. "Not at all, Mr Darcy. It is my pleasure. And if I may so bold, sir. We are all looking forward to welcoming Mrs Darcy."

Darcy eyed his housekeeper with raised brows. He should not be surprised that his household knew about his courtship of Elizabeth. He sighed. "Thank you, Mrs Fletcher. That will be all."

Darcy sat back in his chair, waiting for the inevitable entrance of his cousin. He was not disappointed. Within a minute of Mrs Fletcher exiting his study, Richard came sauntering in with a grin.

"That didn't take long. I expected you would planning for some time." Richard sat across from Darcy, his posture relaxed.

"No. Mrs Fletcher had things well in hand. She simply needed my approval before proceeding." Darcy ran his hands through his hair, glancing at the mantle clock. Almost time to leave for his daily visit with Elizabeth. He smiled in anticipation. Maybe he would be more successful this time...

Richard laughed at the lovesick expression on his cousin's face. "I think I will accompany you to Gardiners," Richard said casually.

Darcy looked up, eyeing his cousin. "Are you sure, Richard? I have sensed a certain reluctance from you these past few days. I don't want you toying with Miss Bennet's affections."

Richard sighed. "Yes, I know." With a grin, he said, "Besides, you need a chaperone Darcy. I would be remiss in my duty if I left you to your own devices."

Darcy glared at his cousin. Ever since his almost kiss with Elizabeth on Sunday, Richard had been extra diligent in making sure he was never alone with her. Although, Darcy had not said anything, Richard seemed to know that his relationship with Elizabeth had progressed to that point. It was starting to get annoying. His inability to finish what he started caused Darcy unending frustration and Richard unending delight.

Richard, ignoring his cousin's scowl, said, "Besides, I need to update Gardiner on what my contacts have discovered on John Williamson."

Despite their combined efforts, they still had not had any success in locating the man. It was frustrating to not have any answers; despite their many leads, they had all turned up cold. Darcy had even hired two more men to help with the search and to protect Elizabeth.

Darcy rubbed his eyes. "What have you discovered?"

"Not much. One of my contacts is following a lead. But I expect it will come to nothing."

"Anything from our contact in Edinburgh?"

Richard shook his head. "No. I don't expect to hear from him for another week at least."

Darcy sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I have had no luck, either. I am running out of options, Richard. It's as if this man does not want to be found."

"I know. But if he is still in London and interested in Miss Elizabeth, I suspect he will find us. Or her."

"That's what worries me, Richard. What if he gets past the men I hired to protect her?" Darcy stood and began pacing, his expression grim, posture rigid.

"Don't think like that, Darcy. We have done all that we can." With a sly smile, Richard said, "If you are so worried about her, why don't you marry her and then you can protect her. I'm sure you won't be more than a foot away from her for at least a year."

Darcy stared at Richard, with raised brows. "Only a year, Richard?" Darcy shook his head. "When Elizabeth is finally mine, I won't ever be apart from her if I can possibly help it."

Richard smirked. "Not if your lady love has anything to say about it. I suspect Miss Elizabeth will rebel against you smothering her independence."

"You think she'll tire of me so soon, cousin?" Darcy said with a grin.

Richard guffawed. Shaking his head, he said in a more serious tone. "Marry her, Darcy. Soon."

Darcy nodded absentmindedly. Richard had a point. It would relieve his mind to know that Elizabeth was under his protection, for more than one reason. Ever since he read Mrs Bennet's letter to Elizabeth, he had been hard pressed to not travel to Hertfordshire immediately and give that woman a piece of his mind. He would enjoy taking Elizabeth away from that woman, and bar her from ever entering any of their homes.

And Mr Bennet. Darcy scowled at the thought of Elizabeth's father. He had much to answer for as well. Although Darcy had never met the man, he had no respect for him. How could he allow his wife to send that caustic letter to Elizabeth? He was the man of the house, why didn't he control his wife and protect his daughter from his wife's censure?

"Why so dour, Darcy?" Richard watched his cousin's countenance turn grim.

"Elizabeth's parents." Darcy spat out, tersely.

Richard sobered immediately. Shaking his head, he said, "Just another reason to marry her as soon as possible, Darcy. She need not ever go back to her home. She could remain with Gardiner until you marry her."

Darcy sighed. "Yes. I know." With a smile, he asked, "How about making it a double wedding? I am sure Elizabeth would not mind sharing her wedding day with her sister."

Richard flushed and looked down, suddenly very interested in his boots.

Darcy raised his brows at his cousin's uncharacteristic demeanor. "Richard. What is going on?"

Richard stood and began pacing. Running a hand through his hair, he said, "I don't know, Darcy. Every time I come close to telling Jane how I feel, something prevents me."

Darcy leaned forward, his expression perplexed. "Do you hesitate because you are unsure of her feelings?"

Richard shook his head. "No. I feel confident enough in her feelings to share my own, but..." He rubbed his forehead, his expression tense. "I still can't do it."

Darcy gazed at his cousin, and carefully said, "Richard, you are worthy of Miss Bennet. You are a good man, an honorable man. Any woman would be lucky to have you."

Richard laughed humorlessly. "Am I? Am I truly the right man for her? Just because I care for her does not mean that she couldn't do better."

"Richard. Stop. You are still afraid." Darcy stated.

"I can't commit to a future with Jane when I don't know where I will be in a month!" Richard resumed pacing.

"Still no word on whether you'll be sent back?"

Richard shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. I have asked to remain at the War Office."

"Have you? Well, maybe its time you exert some of that familial influence. Your father is powerful, Richard. Maybe it's time you used it to your advantage."

Richard stared at Darcy, his expression hard. "Never. I make my own way on my own merits, Darcy. I will not cower behind my influential father."

Darcy sighed, knowing that Richard would never do such a thing. It was one of the reason's he respected and admired him like he did. "No, I suppose you won't. Well, then I suggest you declare yourself and ask Miss Bennet to wait for you. Or marry her as soon as possible and let her decide whether to go with you or remain behind and wait."

"Either way, she'll be waiting," Richard said grimly.

"Yes. But if she cares for you, she will wait. And she might choose to go with you wherever you are posted."

Richard shook his head vehemently. "No, I will not allow that. It is too dangerous."

"Richard. You simply need to decide if you want to marry Miss Bennet. Everything else will fall into place."

Richard sat, exhaling loudly. He snorted. "What ninny's women make of us men. If they only knew how they tie our hearts in knots."

"Decide, Richard. If not for your own sake, then for hers."

Richard stared at his cousin, finally nodding his head, "Very well. I will."

As Darcy stood to leave, Richard asked, "Have you heard from Bingley lately?"

Darcy shook his head. "No, not for over a month. Bingley is not a very reliable correspondent under good circumstances, and since the passing of his mother..."

Richard looked sympathetically at Darcy. He knew how the death of Mrs Bingley had made Darcy relive his own mother's death. He sighed. "His six months of mourning should be over soon. Do you expect him in time for your birthday celebration?"

Darcy shook his head. "No. I wrote him of course, but I don't expect him to attend."

Richard snorted. "He will if his horror of a sister gets wind of it. I am surprised she is not in London already. I imagine the mourning period was very hard on our dear Miss Bingley, especially as it denied her the first weeks of the season."

"Don't be disrespectful, Richard." Darcy admonished.

"My apologies, Darcy." Richard said with humility. "But you didn't answer my question, do you know when their six month mourning period is over?"

Darcy rubbed his chin in thought. "Well, I believe Mrs Bingley passed on the 14th of November, so..."

"So their six months is over the day of your birthday dinner." Richard stated. Raising his brows, he said, "And you think that Bingley will not attend?"

Richard rubbed his hands together, gleefully. "Miss Elizabeth and Miss Bingley in the same room together. After the set down she gave Lady Emily, I can't wait to see how she handles our dear Miss Bingley."

"Remember Richard, Miss Bingley is the sister of my dearest friend, whereas Lady Emily has no connection to me whatsoever."

Richard snorted. "Do you really think Miss Elizabeth is going to sit by and watch Miss Bingley hang all over you? Lady Emily is at least more discreet in her machinations. Miss Bingley has all the subtlety of a cannon blast."

Darcy raised his brows. "I have handled Miss Bingley thus far, Richard. Besides, I am not going to hide my regard for Elizabeth, especially in front of my personal acquaintances. Miss Bingley will know where my intentions lie."

Richard shook his head at his cousin's lack of foresight. "That won't stop Miss Bingley, Darcy. If anything, that will only cause her to become more desperate and vicious." He grimaced. "And I refuse to escort that woman anywhere but to Bedlam, so don't look to me to divert her attentions. I will be busy escorting Miss Bennet."

"Well this is a moot point because I don't believe they will be in town by then. So rest easy, cousin. You are safe from Miss Bingley." With that, Darcy left his study, Richard close behind him.

FEFEFEFEFEFEFEFE

Neither Darcy nor Richard noticed the man standing across the street from Gardiners, watching intently as they entered the townhouse.

The man watched the men enter, his brow lowered in frustration. No doubt they would remain with Gardiners' daughters the entire afternoon and he would have to wait for another opportunity to speak with the girls alone.

The shock of seeing a young lady who so closely resembled Fanny Gardiner had made him act irrationally. He had followed her, wondering if she could possibly be a relation to Fanny. As he followed the fine carriage through the streets of London, his logical mind had come to one conclusion. She must be the daughter of Fanny's brother, Edward.

His expression changed to a scowl at the thought of that man. Mr Edward Gardiner, the cause of his disappointed hopes and the reason for his self-imposed exile to Scotland for the last twenty-five years.

Trying to forget.

Edward Gardiner was the reason he had to leave Meryton, leave Fanny. Even after all these years he still hadn't forgiven him for his interference. After a few discreet inquiries, he had discovered that Fanny's brother was extremely wealthy and well respected. He hadn't thought to ask about his family life.

So he watched and waited for an opportunity to speak to Gardiners daughter, the young lady who so closely resembled his Fanny. On one of his watches he had been astounded to see a woman who looked like a younger version of Mrs Gardiner, Fanny's mother. He realized that Gardiner had two daughters.

So much the better.

He noticed that a man was always with the young ladies. He would stand outside, watching and waiting until they left and he would discreetly follow them. At first he had been alarmed, thinking the big, brutish man wished them harm. But he had quickly realized that he was protecting them. Was Gardiner so hated that he had to hire thugs to protect his daughters? What type of business did he run?

This development made it extremely difficult to get one of the girls alone. He would have to continue watching and waiting until his moment would come.

And John Williamson was a very patient man.

A/N: So, more information on the Mrs B mystery. What is JW up to? I am sorry that so many of you are frustrated about now knowing why. Would you believe I never anticipated it would take this long myself? No? *shrugs shoulders apologetically*

Here is a little recap of what we know: Gardiner feels extremely guilty about deceiving his sister, Fanny. We now know that Gardiner made JW leave Meryton and Fanny. JW refers to Fanny as his Fanny. He thinks that Jane and Lizzy are Gardiners daughters. Why would he not think they were Fanny's daughters? (hmmmm, think about that for a minute - some of you have already guessed where I'm going with this)

What we still don't know: What exactly did Gardiner do? What does Mrs B believe was the deception of her brother? Why does she feel that JW abandoned her? What is Mr B role in all this? And most importantly, why does Mrs B treat E with such disdain? I think that about covers it.

So, Bingley kind of made an appearance in this chapter, at least you now know where he's been. Poor Mrs Bingley. So, will he make it in time for Darcy's bday celebration?

Please review to feed my muse!

Thanks for your continued support!