12. Chapter Twelve

Kairos

Chapter Twelve

Violet knew that she should have been exhausted. She should have wanted to sleep late, overcome by the excitement of the previous night. But as always seemed to happen, she rose with the dawn the following morning, refreshed and ready to start the day.

She attempted to stay abed but it only took one glance out of the window to inspire a desire to see the sunrise over Aubrey Hall's grounds and the next moment she was hurriedly dressing and creeping quietly down the main staircase.

She came to the library and was able to slip out one of the French doors. After a quick backward glance, she moved towards the eastern view of the manor house, anticipating a glorious sunrise over the lake. She was not disappointed.

After having found a sheltered spot upon a bank, she watched the sky turn from that odd pearly grey that heralds the dawn to a stunning mixture of blush pink and pale yellow, which melded into a vivid orange. It was so beautiful that she observed it for over half an hour and only became aware of how long she had sat there by the chill that was starting to creep through her cloak.

With a brisk walk, she set out towards the same shaded walk she and the Viscount had strolled down the previous day, thinking to go in search of bluebells. She had just turned a corner by the arbour, when she heard voices. Suddenly worried at the prospect of being caught outside and accused of eavesdropping, she hurried behind a hedge that surrounded the path and waited for the walkers to pass. A gentleman was speaking.

"… Only managed to make her sleep at about 2 in the morning, she was sobbing uncontrollably for several hours …"

"I'm sorry Richardson, that must have been very difficult."

"No, it's I who must apologise to you Bridgerton, to make such a public display would be highly disagreeable by itself, but to make such an exhibition of herself at your engagement dinner! Please apologise most sincerely to Miss Clympton upon my behalf, I cannot imagine how she was made to feel."

"I thank you for your kind words but must assure you that they are entirely unnecessary. Miss Clympton was merely desirous of seeing Mrs Richardson more calm and peaceful in mind."

There was a pause and Violet heard them passing near her hedge.

"I … I knew that she wished for a child, but I never knew how deep her desperation went. I had no idea that she was so jealous of her sister … I thought we were happy …"

Violet crouched low with her hand tightly over her mouth. She could guess how hard these words must be for Mr Richardson to admit and could not imagine his mortification if he knew he had been overheard.

It was sometime before the Viscount replied.

"I think that my Aunt Dawlish is partly to blame for this. Edith was always raised as the beauty of the family. I'm sorry to say that I think she puffed Edith up to expect certain things from her life and placed a higher level of importance upon certain values, such as marrying not only for wealth but also position. When Mary was being courted by the Earl, I'm afraid that nothing less than a Duke would have satisfied her vanity. I apologise for speaking in such blunt terms, but that is my understanding of the matter."

Mr Richardson sighed and Violet could only imagine his chagrin.

"I had surmised as much," he admitted, "She had hinted at such discontent when we were coming up here. But when it was just the two of us at Elmfleet … well, we were incredibly content and I thought a good match …"

"I think Edith just needs times and distance from the situation, Richardson," Lord Bridgerton suggested, "Being near Mary will not help her, so time and healing is the key. Will you travel to Elmfleet from here?"

"I believe that that is best," Mr Richardson replied, "Edith is in a fragile state. We will leave before everyone else is risen, please send our regrets to Lady Bridgerton."

"It's entirely understood. Please accept our wishes for Mrs Richardson's swift recovery."

"Thank you. I had best make sure the carriage is ready, thank you for your hospitality Bridgerton."

"Have a safe journey, Richardson."

Violet waited until she was certain both men had left before hurrying back to the house, her mind awhirl. With care, she stole around the paths and gardens before making it unseen to the library doors. She crept quietly in and was just refastening the latch when a voice startled her,

"Violet?"

Cringing, she turned to find her fiancé regarding her with astonishment. "Good morning Edmund, I was just watching the sunrise, see you at breakfast." She hurried quickly towards the door when a single word stopped her.

"Wait!" she paused, wishing she had the willpower to leave. She turned but did not let go of the door handle.

"Yes?"

Her fiancé had been sitting one of the chairs next to a roaring fire but had jumped up at her sudden entrance and was now regarding her with confusion.

"Did you sneak out?"

"I wouldn't call it sneaking, my lord, I merely wished to watch the sunrise, I have now so I'll bid you adieu until breakfast." She had managed to turn the handle when her wrist was suddenly encircled and she jumped.

"Please, my love, stay a moment." His voice was so earnest that she forced herself to turn and look up at him. He looked tired. There were shadows under his eyes and his hair was thoroughly disarrayed. Unable to restrain herself, she lifted a finger to trace a shadow.

"Didn't you sleep well?" she asked.

His response was to release her wrist and draw her securely into his arms. She knew there was now no chance of escape and found that she did not mind. He had wrapped his arms firmly around her waist and had buried his nose in her hair, still in its braid for sleep.

He murmured something that she couldn't hear.

"What?"

He raised his head, the confused looked replaced with a mildly teasing one. "I said that when we are married I insist upon your hair never being braided."

She shook her head, muttering something about how ridiculous he was. She made to pull away but he would not let her.

"My lord, it would be highly inappropriate for us to be found in such a state of disarray so early in the morning."

"True, but you entered my library so are the intruder in this."

"I was trying to leave when you … delayed me."

His teasing grin widened. "True, I have haven't I? How would you like to punish me, Miss Clympton?"

"By denying your advances, my lord," she replied. His response was to kiss her soundly on the mouth.

Violet tried. She tried to ignore the warmth of his lips, to remain oblivious to their softness and the way that his arms had tucked her in tight and felt as though they would never let her go.

She failed.

Before she knew it, she was returning the kiss with enthusiasm. Her hands rose to play with the hair at the back of his neck. This seemed to encourage him and he kissed her even more deeply, cupping a hand gently but securely at the base of her neck.

It was a few minutes before Violet hastily pulled away and felt him release her.

"Edmund," she stated rather breathlessly, "I must go upstairs."

He nodded, "I am sorry, Violet, I only meant to tease, I did not mean to let things get so far …"

"Don't apologise," she reassured him, "I certainly wasn't complaining, but I must go upstairs before someone finds us."

Lord Bridgerton was slightly flushed she was amused to note and merely nodded. He opened the door and checked before ushering her up the main staircase and leaving her at the end of her corridor.

It was only once Violet was safely back in bed that she found herself fantasising. She knew it was a foolish and girlish thing to do, but she was overwhelmed by the Viscount. Every time she was with him she struggled to focus her mind and knew how difficult it would be to avoid his advances before the wedding.

But then a thought struck her.

Was it unmaidenly to allow such intimacies before the wedding? She had never kissed a man on the mouth before the Viscount and had only known the pecks and hugs of her male family members. Yet, when she kissed Edmund it was warm and exciting and she wished to keep doing it.

She sat there in some quandary for a while before making a difficult but (she thought) sensible decision. She would keep the Viscount at arm's length until they were married, for her sanity and his.

With this decision firmly made, she set about the rest of her day with her usual energy and enthusiasm.

Breakfast was a quiet and cheerful affair. She came down before several others and seated herself with The Countess and the Earl. They shared an amusing conversation about various events from their own courtship and Countess Mary was pleased to openly be able to discuss her pregnancy now that it was known to all. Mrs Dawlish also joined them for this portion of the conversation and Violet was able to get to know her better. Though the lady had been a little haughty at first, when she saw how well Miss Clympton was getting on with her younger daughter, she warmed up a bit and started asking about the wedding.

"The sixth of July is a fine day to wed," she commented, "You'll have the whole of the summer ahead of you for the wedding tour. Has the Viscount mentioned where he wishes to take you?"

"Italy is high on the agenda," Violet replied and described their Italian interaction at the Danbury's ball.

Mrs Dawlish smiled, "I believe a tour is a very good idea for a young man to do. It gives him a little perspective beyond the scope of his estate and tenants. My dear late husband was a great supporter of them. I believe my eldest son means to take his soon."

"Where is George planning to go, Mama?" Mary asked, "Arthur did a Scandinavian circuit that he loved, didn't you, my love?"

The Earl nodded, "It was well worth the visit, Mrs Dawlish. I went with some fellows and we trotted over Sweden, Denmark and Finland."

"Did you see the Northern Lights?" Violet asked.

He smiled. "We did indeed and they are every bit as beautiful as they are rumoured to be. Quite a stunning spectacle."

He then went on to describe the oddness of the light formation and as always when people are describing something, Violet was enraptured. They were still deep in discussion about the various Scandinavian landscapes that the Earl had crossed when the entire table's attention was drawn to the older Mr and Mrs Bridgerton who were leaving.

Instantly Violet rose and approached the older couple with a smile. They were standing with the Viscount, Harold and the Dowager.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, my dear," Mr Bridgerton stated, taking her hand with a twinkle.

"We will see you at the wedding. Don't get too overwhelmed by all the preparations and organisations," Mrs Bridgerton advised.

After promising that they had everything well in hand, Violet bid them adieu and so began the first of many leave takings that morning as the family departed. Eventually, it was just the Bridgertons and the Clymptons left.

It was only once they had all left that Violet found herself once more contemplating her thoughts of that morning. The topic was such a sensitive one that she was mortified at the thought of asking her mother about it. Instead, she made excuses to be absent from her fiancé as much as possible until their departure after lunch. She spent the rest of the morning having a thorough discussion about the running of the estate with the Dowager and reliable Mrs Mays the housekeeper (who had apparently been there since the Viscount was a boy). Though slightly overwhelmed, she threw herself into the conversation and felt as though it was starting to make sense when lunch was served.

During luncheon, she sat next to her younger brothers and listened to a very animated Benjamin describing the jumping course that Statton had put up for them to attempt on their last morning. Frederick and Harold had apparently both taken part as well and were enjoying a good-natured ribbing over the fact that the eldest Clympton son had done a clear round whereas Harold had knocked off one bar.

Geoffrey, though still in disgrace, had been allowed out of his room and had spent the morning doing a Latin translation in the study while Lord Clympton and the Viscount discussed "boring business". Violet listened to his childish complaints with a sympathetic sisterly ear, but made a point to remind him of the choices that had led him to this result. He was slightly mollified but still upset by the end of the meal. He would admit that he had definitely done wrong, but that Benjamin "had to stop baiting him when he did better". In the end, there was peace between the brothers, but it was still thought a good idea for them to travel on different sides of the carriage.

Violet was in a quandary about the travelling arrangements and was keen to avoid the Viscount, but did not wish to make it too obvious. In the end, her father made the decision by asking whether Geoffrey might travel in the Viscount's carriage "to avoid further difficulty between the brothers". After a warm leave-taking of the Dowager, this was accepted with alacrity by Violet and in the end they had an amusing if not slightly exasperating first half of their journey as Geoffrey listed off all of his plans for the coming term at Westminster.

It was only once they stopped for some refreshment at an inn that Violet walked off to enjoy a particularly fine prospect with her mother and found herself addressed,

"What has the Viscount done to offend you, Vi?"

"Offend me? Nothing!"

"Then why have you spent the entire journey listening to Geoffrey's nonsense?" Violet sighed, her mother was too intuitive!

"I … I merely think that some space might be beneficial for a while …"

"Ah." She stared at her.

"What do you mean, 'Ah'?"

Her mother's look spoke volumes and Violet glanced away, hating that she was feeling that same blush staining her cheeks.

"You and I both know that certain things are meant for a married couple only to discuss. But, dearest, if I was to give one piece of advice, it would be to talk to him about it. You are to be married and secrets in a marriage are dangerous."

Violet nodded and forced herself to speak. "Mama, I don't know what to do!"

Very gently, her mother drew her only daughter into her arms. Her embrace was soft but firm. She had always known how to give the best hugs.

"My love, love is a complicated thing. It throws up many notions that we have never previously even considered."

Violet considered her mother for a long moment before biting the bullet. "Why is the physical side of love so overwhelming?"

Lady Clympton's smile was gentle, "Because you've never experienced anything like it before. The love between a man and a woman can be … intense."

She felt herself blushing but forced herself to continue, "Mama, when the Viscount kisses me … I … well … I don't want him to stop …" She felt herself flushing deeply and turned away. She expected a shocked gasp, a lament of horror … but all she heard was a quiet sigh.

"Vi … you know that is a good thing?"

Violet turned on her mother, "Truly? But Mama does it not make me a … a wanton?" She lowered her voice at the last word, horrified to speak it.

Her mother's reply was very firm, "No, Violet, it does not."

"But Mama, only young women of loose morals are found alone in a garden …"

"You are not a young woman of loose morals and you were with your betrothed, besides, did not Mr Bridgerton accidentally witness the whole thing?" Violet looked away in embarrassment, but she felt her mother take her hand. "Vi, physical love is a very intense thing and all that shows is how deeply you and the Viscount love each other. But, I would recommend that you speak with him … honestly. Set some boundaries."

Lady Clympton gave her hand a final squeeze, "I'll leave you to gather your thoughts."

Violet knew that her mother was speaking a great deal of sense and tried to force herself to consider the sensible thing to do. She pondered the issue for several minutes. She turned to the view by way of a distraction and was just trying to make out whether she could see the sea when a hand touched her own. She flinched away violently from shock. The Viscount withdrew his hand, apologising.

"No, I am sorry, my lord, you simply startled me."

He gave her a tentative smile, "You were deep in contemplation."

She nodded, "I was trying to see whether I could make out the sea."

Lord Bridgerton himself surveyed the landscape before them, "I think we are too far north. That ridge of hills is blocking the channel."

Violet nodded and used her study of the view as a way of avoiding his gaze. It was a strange turn of events, to find that she was struggling to find the words to express herself when ordinarily she never seemed to have enough time to share all her thoughts.

An awkward pause stretched out for about a minute before she felt him looking at her and made herself return the gaze. His blue eyes were dark with concern.

"Violet, why have you been avoiding me?"

He was never anything but direct with her, she had to give him that.

"I was alarmed by our … closeness …" she managed to blurt out.

His expression lightened somewhat and he nodded in understanding. "I had wondered," he confessed, "You seemed determined to evade me today."

She felt herself flush from embarrassment, "I am sorry. I didn't know what to do … how to articulate this awkwardness."

"Please promise me that you will always tell me what troubles you," he entreated, "I thought I had done something wrong."

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I was just so fearful of … having let it gone too far. I was scared that I might be called a wanton …"

She felt herself pulled into his arms and him drop a soft kiss on her forehead. "You're the furthest thing from a wanton I've ever met," he assured her, raising her chin to meet his gaze. "Every embrace … every kiss … is a gift from you to me. A sign of the love you have kept for our marriage, for me."

She nodded and wiped away a tear that she felt escaping from her eye. He caught the next that fell.

"I hate myself for putting you in a position that made you feel this way," he stated. "May I suggest a compromise?" She nodded and found herself settled on a nearby rock.

The Viscount started pacing as he considered their quandary. His seriousness of expression would have greatly amused her had she not been so confused by the whole situation.

"Okay," he began after a minute of deep thought. "How is this. We have five weeks until the wedding. I will spend the next week at Aubrey Hall with my mother getting preparations sorted. I will then return to town in the first week of June and we may continue our activities as usual. However, we are not allowed to be alone in a room together either late at night or first thing in the morning."

"I think gardens should be included."

"True. Gardens and hidden nooks as well."

"I think outings alone in the daylight are fine," she added, "There tend to be a lot of people around." He nodded.

"And, no kissing at all?" His expression was so heartbroken that she couldn't resist a little giggle.

"That may be too extreme. How about, only one kiss at a time unless I ask for another?"

He nodded, "What of embracing you?"

She thought, "Again, only one every visit."

The Viscount agreed and took her hand to kiss it. "I promise to never overstep my bounds again while we are married, my love."

Her answering smiled was soft, "Thank you dear Edmund, though I do not think you are entirely to blame. I did not exactly stop you."

With a snort, he led her back to the inn for some refreshment.

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Author's note:

I'm really sorry it has taken me longer than usual to update. RL is a pain and I've been pretty ill, but I want to continue and finish Edmund and Violet's engagement story.

Thanks so much to every person who reads and favourites. If you could review and let me know what you think I would hugely appreciate it, there are a lot of people reading this.

As always, thanks again,

Breeze.