3. Cane Crazy

Chapter 3: Cane Crazy

Sprig's been going through my backpack, and I have to say it's kinda heartwarming about how fascinated Sprig is by everything. I guess it's easy to just take everyday stuff for granted when that's all it is to you, just everyday stuff. But when you're seeing something for the first time. Like a toenail clipper. Do frogs even have toenails?

The thing I don't get is why he's so fascinated by my pen. He was clicking the little button on the end over and over again like it was the single most captivating thing he had ever seen. Just what does he find so fascinating about it?

[Anne's note: After writing this entry, I started clicking one of my spare pens to see just what he saw in it. Somehow, I managed to lose al track of time and before I knew it, I had been clicking my pen for a solid ten minutes. So… yeah, apparently these things are an endless well of entertainment and I've been missing out all this time.]

Anyway, it was time for lunch, which was some kind of bowl of slime and worms. Since it looked about as appetizing as it sounds, I told Hop-Pop I'd pass, figuring I could just scrounge up something on my own. He took it kinda personally, words were exchanged and I zinged him good. Like sputtering-for-a-comeback-that-won't-come good.

Of course, he pulled the ultimate trump card at that point: reminding me that I'm basically a guest in his house and that if I don't behave, he can and will kick me out. I probably should have taken the warning seriously because, let's face it, by that point I hadn't exactly done a lot to endear myself to him. Instead, the moment he left the room I grabbed his cane and started goofing on him, and well, I got a little too into it and accidentally broke it.

Now I thought this would be no big deal, since I'd barely seen him use the thing up to that point. For an old-timer, he gets around pretty well. Well, I was wrong. Turns out that cane was a precious family heirloom, passed down from his great-grandpa and probably further. Believe me, I know the consequences of breaking family heirlooms, from experience; I still remember my mom's face when I broke Great-Grandma Nin's antique teapot. I never want to see that face again. And that was my mom. Hop-Pop is basically a stranger who let me into his house. If he foinds out about this, he's gonna kick me out for sure!

Several attempts later, it has become clear that we don't know what we're doing. Tying the pieces together didn't help (and it was kind of obvious that it was broken in the first place) and neither was glue.

It was time to actually venture outside of the house. Sprig thinks the local carpenter, Leopold Loggle, might be able to fix the cane, or at least make a passable replacement. So, Sprig, Polly and I (Polly still doesn't trust me, but I was able to bribe her with my last Snackers bar) are headed out now to see if we can get anywhere.

So a word about Loggle. He's this light-blue frog guy with a Pringles Man mustache and what look like antlers. I didn't know frogs could have antlers, but I didn't know frogs could talk or wear clothing either, so what do I know?

One thing I can say in his favor is that he might be the first person outside of Sprig who didn't call me a monster or run away screaming the moment he saw me, though I think that might just be because his eyesight is terrible. I saw him take off his goggles once, and his eyes are these tiny, sunken things. I wouldn't be shocked if he'd thought I was just a really tall frog.

[Anne's further note: Later on I found out he's something called an axolotl and that those "antlers" are actually his gills. Ew.]

Besides that, the guy has a love for wood that borders on the fetishistic. Like, I'm honestly afraid of what I'll find if I just drop in on him. Other than that, he seems like a reasonable guy.

So, we gave him the broken pieces of Hop-Pop's cane and asked if he could help and he said he could….n't. Yeah, that's the other thing about him. He'll start to say one thing and then quickly turn it into the opposite. And yes, it does get old fast!

But getting back to the plot; it turns out Hop-Pop's cane is one-of-a-kind, carved from a limb of something called the Doom Tree (oh joy), deep in the forbidden forest. He tried to sell us a map, but one thing I don't have is money (at least not the kind I can use here). I do have a camera phone, though, so, free map!

"Doom Tree". I figured it was just a name, right? I knew enough about trees to know that the one thing they didn't do was move, and not being able to move meant not being able to kill me. The very large amount of frog bones leading to the clearing where the Doom Tree was should've been a warning against that assumption, and maybe that we should've abandoned the whole quest, but the alternative was actually admitting wrongdoing, and getting kicked out of the house. I was taking my chances with the so-called Doom Tree.

…so, okay, turns out, the Doom Tree? Not so much a tree. It's actually yet another in the seemingly unending series of giant bugs that have become a part of my life. And it was definitely not okay with me snapping off one of its limbs to use as a cane. It was so mad it chased us all the way back to Loggle's, and it took everything in the place to fend it off, including a box of termites that he had for some reason. Why would a carpenter have termites? Frankly, I don't wanna know. We're just lucky he did, because the but was a lot less intimidating once they ate off its outer wooden shell. In fact, it skittered off looking embarrassed at how downright goofy it looked without it. This world is weird, dude.

But hey, we got the cane, right? Not so fast. See, while fighting off the stickbug, we sorta… wrecked pretty much everything in the place, so he kept the cane in partial payment. I thought I was going to be in debt to the guy for life, but surprisingly, we were able to buy him off with the pen from earlier. Seriously, what is so fascinating about it?

[Anne's note #3: See first note.]

At that point, all I had left was to throw myself at Hop-pop's feet and beg for mercy. Well.. he took it better than I was expecting. Turns out he wasn't really going to kick me out, he was just talking tough so I'd behave. Fair enough. I respect the hustle.

I'm still not off the hook, though; I did break a cherished family keepsake. The dish duty isn't so bad; I already did plenty of that at the restaurant. The real bad part is that I have to stand there and listen to all his lame comebacks. I thought he'd stop at the first couple, but every half-hour or so he comes up with another one, and I just have to stand there and endure it. "Hey, Anne, is that your nose, or did a fly burrow into your face?" "Hey Anne! Are those your fingers, or five skinny sausages?" Truly, he is the master of torture.

A.N.: Before I keep forgetting, thanks to Matt Braly for creating the series, and thanks to the entire crew of writers, animators and voice actors for bringing it to life.

TG: Yeah, true; I'm kinda disappointed how large segments of the fandom ignore their relationship to focus on Calamity Trio drama.

Jose: We could all use a Sprig in our lives, couldn't we?

Next: Flood, Sweat and Tears